Katie's Journey to Love

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Silence fell around the table except for Mamm’s gasp.

  “I was just praising your new mamm like I used to praise you and your cooking,” Jesse protested. “You shouldn’t be offended.”

  “You never said you would get fat on my cooking,” Mabel shot back.

  Jesse didn’t look happy. “Look, we’re not having this argument again, Mabel. You did an excellent job after your mamm died, as did Carolyn. But I needed and wanted a frau, and you needed a mamm. My being pleased with Emma’s cooking doesn’t mean I was dissatisfied with yours.”

  “You do a very gut job,” Mamm spoke up. “In fact, Mabel made the corn tonight and helped with most of the other things. I know I couldn’t do all the work without her—at least not as well.”

  “There you go, Mabel!” A smile spread across Jesse’s face. “So let’s not hear anything more about this.”

  Mabel didn’t say anything as the murmur of conversation began again. Moments later she lifted her voice again. “I hope everyone understands I’m an adult when Mose Yutzy shows up tonight to take me out. I know it’s not the weekend, so we won’t be staying too late.”

  Silence fell again as everyone stared at Mabel.

  “What did you just say?” Jesse asked.

  “I’m going out with Mose Yutzy tonight,” Mabel said, all traces of frown gone. “You let the boys go on their rumspringa time, and I’m also going to have mine. I was putting it off because I had to take care of the house, but I see I’m not needed here any longer.”

  “This has nothing to do with rumspringa,” Jesse said.

  Katie thought he sounded like he was trying to keep his voice even. Apparently there was more going on between Jesse, Mabel, and Mose Yutzy than Katie had been aware of.

  “Then what has it got to do with, Daett?” Mabel’s frown was back in full force. “You’ve never told me I couldn’t see Mose.”

  “That’s because I didn’t know you were interested in him.”

  “Well, I am interested,” Mabel said. “I was waiting for the right time to tell you. And now that you’re married, I’m letting you know.”

  Jesse cleared his throat. “Mabel, I forbid you to see Mose. And if I find you aren’t listening, I’ll also forbid you from participating in rumspringa.”

  Mabel jumped to her feet.

  “Sit down!” Jesse ordered. “We will be having no fits in this house.”

  “But Daett!” Mabel protested, flopping down in her chair. “You’re only doing this because of Emma’s weird ideas about rumspringa. What other strange ideas is she bringing into this house that are taking ahold of you? It’s just as I feared. Look, Daett, at how Katie is turning out. She’s ready to join the Mennonites!”

  “Mabel, enough! This is not about rumspringa. This is about Mose.”

  Mamm jumped into the conversation. “Please, Mabel. I wouldn’t try to influence your daett one way or the other on the subject of rumspringa. That’s one thing I decided before I married him—that I wouldn’t interfere with the way he raises his children. In fact, I think he’s done a much better job than I could ever have done with all of you.”

  “Then why am I not allowed to see Mose?” Mabel asked.

  “Because he’s not right for you. You’re not going to see Mose. Get that through your head, Mabel,” Jesse declared.

  “But why, Daett?” Mabel leaped to her feet again. “Why are you saying this?”

  “Please, Jesse,” Mamm reached over and clung to Jesse’s arm, “listen to her at least.”

  “You can say that again!” Mabel leaned forward to emphasize her words. “After all the work I put in to keep this house running after Mamm’s death, this is how I get treated? Like a child?”

  Jesse looked confused. He looked at Mamm. “I guess I need to be more considerate. So what is it about Mose that so impresses you? Let’s hear your side of the story.”

  Mabel took a deep breath and sat down. “Let’s see…He’s wunderbah, and sweet, and he likes me.” Mabel’s voice strengthened. “And he is coming tonight. We’ve already planned it.”

  Jesse gave a short laugh. “Maybe he’s coming, but he’s leaving just as quick. I haven’t heard any solid reason in the boy’s favor yet.”

  Mabel’s face flashed thunder again, but she said nothing.

  Mamm spoke up, her voice cautious. “Why are you forbidding your daughter this thing, Jesse? She seems to care for the boy.”

  Jesse snorted. “The boy is a disgrace, Emma. His daett is among the best farmers in the community, but Mose, his second boy, hardly lifts one foot in front of the other. He’s among the laziest boys around. His daett hasn’t been able to teach him much of anything. Mose can’t cut a crop of hay without getting it soaked at least once before he gets it in the barn. And that’s with his daett and brothers watching his back. The boy barely gets out of bed in the morning, I’m told. He’s a lazy young man, and I don’t want Mabel to see him.”

  Jesse stopped talking as the sound of buggy wheels rolling down the driveway could be heard.

  Mabel turned bright red, her mouth set and her eyes flashing.

  “That must be Mose,” Leroy smirked. “I’m sure he’ll be happy with his friendly welcome.”

  Mabel stuck her tongue out at him, and Leroy roared with laughter.

  “Quiet now, Leroy!” Jesse pounded the table with a fist. “We will not be making fun of the young man or Mabel. Mose is what he is. Now, Mabel, go out and explain the matter to him. Send him on his way.”

  “Mabel?” Mamm stared at Jesse. “Do you think that’s wise, Jesse? To make Mabel do this?”

  Mamm is right, Katie thought. Only Mamm didn’t know exactly why she was right. Katie was sure Mabel would use the opportunity to plan a secret meeting with Mose.

  Jesse paused, a thoughtful look on his face. “I believe it’s best if the boy hears the news from Mabel.”

  Mabel had leaped up before the words were out of her daett’s mouth and raced out the washroom door.

  Leroy choked back a laugh. When Willis glanced at him, Leroy leaned over. “I was looking forward to learning the famed Mose farming methods, but now my hopes will leave with the evening wind.”

  Willis turned his head to hide his own laughter.

  Jesse glared at both of them.

  As the minutes ticked past, Katie’s mind raced. What did this mean for her own plans? Did she even dare bring up the subject of Ben picking her up on Friday night? Perhaps this was the time. Maybe Jesse would be disinclined to create another fuss around the dinner table. Katie decided to wait for Mabel’s return.

  The conversation rose to a low murmur around the table as Katie wondered how it was going between Mabel and Mose. Finally, her footsteps could be heard in the washroom. The door opened, and Mabel slipped into her seat at the table.

  “So it’s taken care of now, Mabel? You handled it with Mose?” Jesse asked.

  Mabel nodded, refusing to look at her daett or anyone else.

  Now was Katie’s moment. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. Then she exhaled and began. “I have something to share too. I don’t know if this is a good time or not, but it does relate to what’s happened this evening.”

  Katie paused and glanced at Mamm. “Ben Stoll asked if he could pick me up to go to a youth function on Friday night. I said yes. I hope that’s not a problem.”

  Mabel made a choking sound, but Katie didn’t dare look at anyone except Mamm and Jesse. She especially didn’t want to see the look on Mabel’s face.

  “We’re being invaded by female snatchers!” Leroy said.

  Willis howled with laughter.

  Katie kept looking back and forth from Jesse to Mamm. Had her risk worked? Might Jesse approve of Ben? And if he did, would Mabel dare say anything bad about her?

  “I think Ben could teach us some gut farming techniques,” Leroy said when he could control his laughter.

  Willis laughed again and punched Leroy in the shoulder. “What can a carpenter teach us about
farming?” he asked.

  “That’s enough, boys,” Jesse told them. “It’s not right making fun of people.” He cleared his throat and looked at Katie and then Mabel. “From what I know of Ben, he’s a fine boy. Mose could take a lesson from Ben on hard work.”

  Katie’s cheeks glowed with the praise. Jesse approved of Ben! Wasn’t that a miracle in itself? Now if Mabel would stay out of the way, she would be fine. Katie took a quick peek at Mabel. The girl met her glance with a look full of daggers. Clearly the battle between them was anything but over.

  Katie looked away and thought about Ben driving down the lane Friday night. She smiled. With Ben coming, she could put up with Mabel and then some.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Katie paced the floor of her room, still dressed in her work clothing. Ben wasn’t due for another hour. She’d been downstairs, but she couldn’t stand another minute of the tension in the kitchen. Mamm kept looking at her like her last friend had died, and Mabel had done nothing but give her glares since just before dinner.

  Mamm’s face had been filled with sorrow when Katie came home from Byler’s, and it had grown more haggard as time progressed. The boys and Carolyn hadn’t seemed to notice during dinner as they filled the kitchen with their happy chatter. Mabel, though, had begun her piercing looks there—between shooting barbed retorts back at her brothers, that is. On their part, Leroy and Willis certainly weren’t making things easier for Mabel and her pining for Mose. And since Katie was planning an evening with Ben Stoll, it was no wonder that Mabel was in short temper tonight.

  “Cultivating went pretty gut today,” Leroy said to Willis, keeping an innocent tone in his voice. “Though I could use someone to teach me gut farming methods.”

  Willis smirked. “Yah, I did think you left that plow row a little crooked. Surely a Yutzy would know how to tell us to improve such a thing.”

  Mabel glared at Leroy and Willis. “Neither of you are half the man Mose is. He’d have plowed the whole field today instead of going around in circles like the two of you did.”

  Broad grins spread over the boys’ faces.

  If Mabel knew what was good for her, she’d keep quiet, Katie wanted to tell her. This easy target for entertainment would be too hard for either of her two oldest brothers to resist.

  Sure enough, Leroy hid his laughter with a loud cough. “If his horse could make it over here, Mose might still prove himself helpful.”

  “He’d probably throw all four horseshoes on the road,” Willis choked out between snickers.

  Leroy feigned shock. “So that’s where the twisted-up metal shoe came from? The one that was lying in the driveway?”

  While Leroy and Willis howled with laughter, Mabel turned her anger on Katie. “This is all your fault.”

  Katie knew there wasn’t any truth to Mabel’s words. It was her bitterness speaking, and she needed help right now, not condemnation. And Katie could see where Mabel might get that idea. Jesse would probably have been easier on discipline if Mamm wasn’t in the house. With the responsibility of the household on Mamm’s shoulders, Jesse was seeing Mabel as a child again—a child in need of serious correction.

  Mamm’s sorrow was what worried Katie the most. Her sad face and distressful looks cut deep into Katie’s heart. Mamm was really why she’d fled from the kitchen tonight. It wasn’t to escape the thundercloud of Mabel’s wrath, but to avoid the searing pain of Mamm’s disapproval. Because, if the truth be told, Mamm’s opinion still pulled on Katie. Mamm was Jesse’s frau, to be sure, but she would always be her mamm too. They were bound together by ties that couldn’t be broken. So why did she feel like they were being torn apart by a strong force neither of them could control?

  Mamm couldn’t get over her disapproval of Ben anymore than Katie could resist going out with him tonight. Soon Mamm would be coming up the stairs to discuss the matter. At least Katie would be surprised if Mamm didn’t try to get in one last plea for her to abandon her plans.

  Katie paused long enough to push aside the curtains of the window to see if Ben was coming yet. Soon he’d come driving up the lane, and she would run out to climb into his buggy. A thrill was running all the way through her already even at the thought as tears stung her eyes. Why couldn’t Mamm see through her eyes and rejoice about this wunderbah thing between Ben and her? A miracle had happened between Mamm and Jesse, even though Mamm had resisted. Why couldn’t she see that this might be the same grace from Da Hah being offered to her?

  There was a soft squeak on the stairs, and Katie flew back to sit on her bed. She would feel better sitting here rather than standing while she listened to what Mamm had to say.

  “May I come in?” Mamm asked through the door.

  “Yah,” Katie replied. She clutched the bed quilt with both hands.

  The bedroom door creaked open, and Mamm came in. She sat beside Katie. For a long moment neither of them said anything.

  Finally Mamm cleared her throat. “I see you fled the kitchen. Were you wishing to get away from me?”

  “Oh, Mamm, nee.” Katie threw her arms around Mamm’s neck. “You know that’s not true. I just couldn’t stand seeing you so sorrowful. I love you!”

  Mamm held Katie for a long time. “It’s gut to hear you say such a thing.”

  “I will always say it.” Katie let go of Mamm’s embrace and folded her hands in her lap. “And I will always mean it in my heart. I want to make you happy and do what you say is best, but I also want to see Ben, Mamm. I’m so torn up about this. Can you not understand how much I like him?”

  “You will always be my precious daughter,” Mamm told her. “I only wish this boy wasn’t between us like he is.”

  “Why can’t you see what a miracle this really is? Please try, Mamm. Ben actually asked to pick me up! And you know Jesse approves of Ben.”

  Mamm winced. “I suppose I could tell you again about the mistakes I made with Daniel—running after the boy all those years, thinking I loved him when it was nothing but a schoolgirl crush. True love, Katie, doesn’t happen with those types of boys. They only want to have everyone’s approval and attention. Good looks and popularity can make life too easy, so they seldom create depth of character. You’re only going to get your heart broken by Ben, Katie.”

  What was she supposed to say? Katie wondered. Mamm didn’t understand how she felt about Ben. She hadn’t seen how kind and hesitant he’d been the other night. Mamm thought Ben was like Daniel Kauffman, when he wasn’t at all. Ben was much more wunderbah than Mamm’s Daniel had ever been.

  “I see you still don’t believe me,” Mamm allowed. “And in a way I don’t blame you. I also was blind to Daniel’s faults all those years. I have only Da Hah’s mercy to thank that I was spared death by heartache and given the chance to find true love. And not only once with your daett but again with Jesse.”

  Katie gave Mamm a quick hug even as she protested. “Daniel turned out decent, didn’t he? Even if he wasn’t the right man for you, he’s an upstanding church member now. Maybe you saw something that wasn’t true because you were so upset?”

  Mamm shook her head. “I don’t think so, Katie. No doubt Daniel has matured by now, and I’m sure his frau has helped him. But she came from his world of wealth, Katie. I hardly even dared speak with her while we were in the young folks’ group. Every Sunday she wore a new dress, or so it seemed to me at the time. Her daett owned one of the most prosperous farms in the community. I’m sure Da Hah worked a great grace in Daniel and his frau’s life—just as He has done in mine. But they belonged together, just like I belonged in your daett’s world. Just like I now belong in Jesse’s world. You don’t belong in Ben Stoll’s world, Katie. And you never will. Their social circle just isn’t yours and mine.”

  “But I’m different from you,” Katie countered quietly when the silence had hung long in the room. “And so is Ben. I wish you could see that. He’s so kind. You’re seeing only the past and what you lost. You’re not seeing that love is always a miracle.
Just as it was with you and Daett, and just as it is with you and Jesse. That’s how I feel about Ben. I wasn’t old enough to see love grow between you and Daett, but I do see how it is growing between you and Jesse.”

  Mamm stared at her, puzzlement in her eyes.

  Katie rushed on. “Love is always a miracle, Mamm. And what if Da Hah is allowing love to grow between Ben and me? Do you think such a miracle wouldn’t be possible?”

  “Who has been saying these things to you?” Mamm asked. Her face was a mask of great concern. “Have you already been speaking of love with Ben?”

  Katie shook her head. “Nee, of course not! We’ve only spoken a few times. These are thoughts that just came to me.”

  Mamm didn’t look convinced. “Did an Englisha person say these things to you while you were working at Byler’s?”

  Katie laughed out loud. “No, Mamm. I wouldn’t speak of such things with anyone at work.”

  “Then what is happening to you?”

  “Maybe I’m in love.” Katie sat straight up at the thought. “Is this what happens when a person is in love?”

  Now Mamm laughed. “Sometimes. But I doubt if you’ve had time to really fall in love with Ben. You don’t know him well enough. Love doesn’t happen that quickly.”

  Katie wanted to argue and share about all the years she’d spent admiring Ben from afar. There had been plenty of time for love to grow in her heart. She stroked the quilt and then dared a quick glance at Mamm’s face. She was actually smiling a little! Maybe there was hope she’d understand after all.

  “Are you still hoping to go on that trip to Europe?” Mamm asked.

  Startled, Katie glanced up at her mamm. Where had that come from?

  “That’s one dream I hope comes true,” Mamm said. “And I promise I won’t stand in the way if you can find the money to go.”

  “Thank you, Mamm! That means a lot. I hope I can go too!” Katie smiled, glad the subject had changed.

  Mamm continued. “I couldn’t believe Jesse said you could go. I didn’t have anything to do with persuading him that you should be allowed to go.”