Katie's Journey to Love

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Ben tied Sparky to a light post. “Are you nervous, having your picture taken and all?”

  Katie frowned slightly but she was pleased that Ben seemed to understand her so well. It was comforting in a way—having a man who knew her heart.

  “You’ll be okay.” Ben took her hand when she didn’t answer. “I’ll be right there by your side. I might even have my picture taken!”

  Katie gasped. “You wouldn’t…would you? It’s not right except for a gut reason.”

  “Then I’ll think of one,” Ben said as he helped Katie into his buggy.

  She held the lines while he untied Longstreet and climbed in. Handing the reins to him, their fingers brushed against each other.

  “I just thought of a gut reason.” His eyes teased. “I could go along with you!”

  “You can’t go with us.” She glared at him teasingly. “This is a girls-only trip.”

  Ben laughed. “I meant my picture could go. Like with you. That way you wouldn’t forget me. Wouldn’t you like that?”

  Katie thought about it for a moment. “But how would that be right, Ben?”

  “You’d like it, wouldn’t you?” he said, gently probing her emotions.

  “Maybe…” Katie admitted, her voice squeaking a bit. Was she giving in to an awful temptation? But how could she resist? In a way, Ben was right. It would be a picture for the trip, and she could destroy it once she came back and had Ben with her in person.

  His hand found hers again. “I’m glad you want me along on your trip. Maybe we can take an extra picture of you so I can have one of yours while you’re gone.”

  “What if someone catches us?”

  Ben laughed. “We’re not members of the church yet. What are they going to do? Burn the pictures? This won’t harm anyone.”

  Katie saw Mamm’s face rising in front of her eyes. It had disapproval written all over it. Mamm would burn Ben’s photo if she found it. But she could hide the photo well. And if Mamm did find it, she would be honest and tell the truth—that she couldn’t resist when Ben offered something like this. Mamm would surely understand that.

  “I’ll take a peek at your picture every day you’re gone,” Ben said, his eyes shining. He let go of Katie’s hand to gradually bring Longstreet to a halt for a stoplight.

  Ben had read her decision without her saying a word. He was very, very wunderbah. And his photo in her suitcase would be almost like having him around.

  “Here we are,” Ben said as he pulled Longstreet to a stop beside a low brick building. “Passport photo coming up.”

  Katie waited while Ben tied Longstreet to a post, and then she followed him inside.

  “Gut morning,” Ben greeted the lady at the front desk.

  She looked up. “Yes, how may I help you?”

  “We’re here to have passport pictures taken.”

  “Traveling are we?”

  “Katie is,” Ben said. “Maybe sometime in the future we’ll travel together, but I’m staying home this time.”

  Katie felt her spine tingle at the words, wondering if traveling with Ben would ever really happen.

  “The pictures are taken upstairs,” the lady said. “Just go up the steps and turn right.”

  “Thank you,” Ben said. As they moved toward the staircase, Katie held on to his hand.

  At the top of the steps they turned right and found the door labeled “Passport Photos.” When they entered, another woman greeted them and gave them instructions for the photo, motioning with her hand for them to follow her. In a back room she had a camera set up on a tripod. A chair sat by itself against the wall. “Right over there, if you will. My name’s Carol. This won’t take too long.”

  Ben sat down first, taking off his hat. The camera snapped. And then snapped again as Carol took three or four more shots. Katie watched, amazed at how Ben could look so calm with a camera pointed at him.

  “Now, it’s your turn,” Carol said.

  Katie approached the chair cautiously as Ben got up. When she was seated, the woman said, “Relax, dear. You look nervous.”

  Katie could only think that Carol must not deal with Amish very often. Of course she was nervous! This was a first for her. And almost a forbidden first, at that.

  Ben intervened by stepping beside Carol behind the camera. Katie kept her eyes on him, which was obviously what Ben meant for her to do.

  “Hi, Katie,” Ben said, so calm and relaxed, like they were sitting inside his buggy and talking.

  Katie took a deep breath and focused on Ben’s face. Carol pushed a button on her camera a few times and finally looked pleased with her efforts.

  “Make an extra copy of each, please,” Ben requested as they followed the woman out of the room.

  “I’ll be back in a minute,” Carol told them.

  “Thank you,” Katie said to Ben as they sat down. “I couldn’t have done that without you.”

  “You looked like the scarecrow in Mamm’s garden last summer.”

  “I did not!” Katie shot back.

  Ben laughed. “You looked quite cute, in fact.”

  “Now you’re making me turn red.” She wanted to stay angry with him for at least a minute, but he was so charming.

  Carol returned moments later with a white envelope. She handed it to Ben. “You can pay for them downstairs.”

  Katie held Ben’s hand while they went down the steps, stealing sideway glances at the envelope. Ben must have noticed, because he smiled but didn’t say anything until he’d paid. Out in the street, he helped Katie into the buggy and then handed her the envelope. She held it in her hand, turning it over several times. Ben joined her on the buggy seat. “Shall we look at them now?” he asked. He held the reins slack in one hand, and Longstreet seemed to understand it wasn’t time to leave yet.

  Katie groaned. “How will I look? I’ve never seen a picture of me before.”

  Ben laughed. “You’ve looked in the mirror, silly. It’s the same thing.”

  Katie took a deep breath. “I guess so, but I can always change what I see in the mirror. This I can’t.”

  Ben didn’t answer as he pulled the pictures from the envelope. He held Katie’s up high between his fingers. Katie gasped, and Ben laughed. “Isn’t that beautiful? I think I see love shining in those eyes!”

  “Don’t say such things!” Katie grabbed the picture from him. He let go and pulled a photo of himself out. “Yuck. Now that’s ugly.”

  “It’s not.” Katie grabbed his picture and held it up for a better look. “You look quite handsome.”

  “Not as pretty as you are.” He moved closer on the buggy seat.

  Katie held her breath, looking up at him. Ben was going to kiss her right here and now, she thought. Was this okay? She had so wanted this moment to arrive, but somehow it would have been so much better at home where everything felt safe and sound. Not right after they had Englisha pictures taken.

  Ben touched her cheek with his hand. “You’re lovely, Katie. Don’t worry. I’m going to treasure this photo forever.” He plucked the picture out of her hand.

  Katie relaxed as Ben studied the picture. He hadn’t kissed her, but surely it would happen sometime. And she would enjoy it fully when it did.

  Ben slipped all the photos back inside the envelope, slid them into his pocket, and slapped the reins. Longstreet took off with a jerk and Katie hung on.

  “I’m also going to treasure your picture,” she said as they rode through town.

  Ben smiled and reached over to squeeze her hand. It wasn’t long before they arrived at the post office. Ben jumped down to tie up Longstreet again. After helping Katie down, they walked hand-in-hand inside and got in line.

  Katie let go soon after that, embarrassed by holding Ben’s hand right in front of everyone. What would Mamm say if she’d been along? Likely she’d be shocked, just like Katie was with herself. Was this what it was like being young and in love? Changing so quickly and so easily?

  “Next!” the man behind the
counter sang out.

  Ben led the way to him and explained what they wanted. The man retreated behind a wall and soon appeared with a short, thin lady carrying a briefcase. She spread a form out on the counter. “Which one of you is getting a passport today? Or are you both?”

  “Just me.” Katie took a quick sideways glance at Ben to keep her courage up. He squeezed her hand under the counter.

  “May I see your birth certificate and photos?” the lady asked.

  Katie dug her birth certificate out of her dress pocket, and Ben laid two of her photos on the counter. One of them he’d left in the envelope—the one he would keep. Katie stepped up to the counter and began to fill out the form, not daring to look at Ben. He didn’t need to see how much he meant to her. He already seemed much too aware of it.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Katie awoke with a start when Jesse called up the stairs, “Time to get up, boys!” Moments later the tramp of Leroy and Willis’s feet went past her bedroom door. Katie sat up. Had she dreamed about the ruckus late last night? It seemed so impossible now as the first signs of dawn were breaking outside her window. Nee, she hadn’t dreamed it. It was too painful. At least the outburst hadn’t been about anything she’d done. She’d come home with her passport after spending several more hours with Ben. She’d entered the house as usual, said good night to everyone, and then gone to bed.

  And then the kafuffle started, and Mabel was the one in trouble. Jesse had a right to discipline his children as he saw fit, but then Mamm and Katie had gotten involved, and now they were in even worse trouble with Mabel. Mabel wouldn’t be forgetting last night for a long time, and all the blame would somehow come straight back on them. That’s what Mabel would do, and in a way she was right this time. If Mamm hadn’t married Jesse, Mabel might have gotten away with much more.

  Katie rubbed her throbbing head. The headache was still here, pounding away, no doubt due to last night. Leroy and Willis had even awakened and come downstairs to see what was happening. And everyone knew they slept like rocks. She didn’t know all the details yet, but she could guess what happened. Mabel got caught with Mose out in the barn. And that wasn’t something Jesse would take kindly to or tolerate.

  Katie had been awakened in what had seemed only minutes after she’d gone to bed, but it was closer to midnight according to the clock on the dresser. Mabel’s wails had echoed through the house, haunting cries of despair and anger mixed together. Worried, Katie had thrown on her housecoat and rushed downstairs to the kitchen where the sounds were coming from. Jesse and Mamm were already there, and a kerosene lamp was burning on the table. Mabel was sitting on the back bench behind the table where Leroy and Willis usually ate. She was sobbing, her hands covering her face.

  Jesse glanced up when Katie entered. He looked ready to say something, but he changed his mind. Instead, he turned back to continue his talk with Mabel.

  Katie stopped suddenly, taking in everything at once.

  “You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Mabel. Thoroughly ashamed of yourself! Meeting out in the barn alone with Mose like that. It’s disgraceful to the family, and to you, and to Mose, and to his family as well. We will have no more of this going on.”

  “How did you know I was out there?” Mabel wailed.

  “That’s not the point!” Jesse said. “But in case you’re thinking it, Emma had nothing to do with it. And this issue right now is between you and me and no other. I told you firmly and without question to have nothing more to do with Mose Yutzy.”

  Mabel lifted her head from her arms. “This wasn’t fair. Not one bit.”

  “I’m your daett, and I’ll decide that.” Jesse’s voice was firm. “If you weren’t so big, I’d spank you gut and hard right now.”

  This produced further wails from Mabel. Rustling footsteps were soon followed by the appearance of Carolyn in her night robe, followed by Leroy and Willis. Joel somehow managed to sleep through everything. Mabel’s wails died down some when she looked up and caught sight of her brothers.

  “So she was out there with Mose,” Leroy said before anyone gave him an explanation. “I thought that’s what was going on.”

  Mabel glared at him through her tears. “So it was you who told on me?”

  Leroy shrugged. “I didn’t know for sure, so I didn’t say anything. But I suspected something like that after I found a candy wrapper in the feed bin. Who else would be out there eating candy bars?”

  “You are all so cruel! All of you…every one of you!” Mabel wailed again.

  “Everybody will go to bed now,” Jesse announced. “None of us will be worth a hoot on the farm tomorrow.”

  Mamm offered Mabel her hand to help her out from behind the kitchen table, but Mabel refused. She found her own way up the stairs, and her bedroom door slammed moments later.

  “Off to bed,” Mamm told Katie when she’d just stood there, rooted to the kitchen floor.

  Katie found her way upstairs and back to bed. Leroy and Willis had disappeared by then too.

  Mamm followed Katie up the stairs holding Carolyn’s hand. She tucked the little girl into bed and then made her way back downstairs to her room.

  Now it was morning, and surely Mabel would make things worse for Mamm and her. Despite Jesse’s words, Mabel probably thought Katie had tattled on her.

  Katie got up, slipped on her housecoat, opened her bedroom door, and then closed it behind her. She tiptoed downstairs into the kitchen. There was no sign of Mabel yet, which was probably for the best. Let her sleep in this morning. Maybe she wouldn’t be quite as grumpy when she awoke. Doubtful, but maybe.

  “Gut morning.” Mamm looked up, smiling weakly.

  “Gut morning,” Katie mumbled back. She went over to the kitchen counter and began to crack eggs into a bowl for scrambling.

  “Should we get Mabel up?” Mamm’s voice trembled.

  “I don’t think so.” Katie continued working.

  “You’d better go awaken Mabel,” Mamm finally said. “She’ll feel worse if we fix breakfast without her.”

  Katie didn’t look up. “I don’t want her down here. She’ll only weep and wail all over the place. You can get her up after I leave for Byler’s.”

  “You know that doesn’t work, Katie. And we have to love the girl. Go call her. And remember to be nice, even if she’s in a mood.”

  Katie groaned but went up the stairs slowly. At Mabel and Carolyn’s bedroom, Katie pushed open the door. Mabel’s form was visible in the soft moonlight shining through the open window. Carolyn lay curled up on the smaller bed.

  “Mabel,” Katie whispered. Mabel sat up at once. “It’s time to get up,” Katie said. She was already retreating by the time Mabel had swung her legs over the side of the bed. Closing the door behind her, Katie headed down the stairs.

  “Everything go okay?” Mamm asked worriedly.

  “She didn’t say a peep, but I think she’s coming,” Katie offered.

  Mamm bustled about the kitchen. Moments later, Mabel appeared fully dressed. “Gut morning.” Mamm smiled her brightest.

  Mabel said nothing for a moment. “Did either of you tell Daett about Mose and me?”

  “Of course not,” Mamm said.

  Katie shook her head.

  “So how did he find out? Am I supposed to believe Leroy’s story about the candy wrapper?”

  Mamm looked straight at Mabel. “Leroy suggested something to Jesse after he found the candy wrapper, so Jesse went out to investigate last night. That’s all your daett knew, and I added nothing to the story.”

  “Daett didn’t ask you if you knew anything about this? You’re supposed to be his frau, after all.”

  Mamm’s face colored. “Your daett did ask me if knew anything, but I refused to answer. I told him I wasn’t getting between his daughter and him.”

  “Then you did tell him. That’s all the information Daett needed. He can figure the rest out on his own.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t have been out there with Mo
se in the first place,” Mamm said. “Then you wouldn’t be worrying about who tells your secrets.”

  Mabel’s face flashed red. “I wish both of you would go back to where you belong—and out of my kitchen. We were getting along perfectly fine before you showed up and spoiled everything. Now my life is a mess because you waltzed in here as Daett’s wife and brought along this weird daughter of yours who’s so high and mighty now she hardly speaks with me any longer. She’s even dating Ben Stoll and planning to tramp all over Europe with Mennonites. Daett never would have allowed something like that until you ruined him.”

  Mamm listened with a pained look on her face. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Mabel. And I’m trying to understand it, although I can’t do much about it. I love your daett, and that’s the way Da Hah planned things.”

  “Don’t be blaming this on Da Hah,” Mabel snapped. “Now let me go ahead with the bacon. I used to do all of this myself with just Carolyn’s help—just in case you think I’m helpless in the kitchen.”

  “We know you’re not helpless, Mabel.” Mamm managed a smile. “Maybe things will look better for you soon.”

  “What’s going to bring Mose back? He’ll never show up again after Daett chased him out of the barn.”

  “That might be for the best,” Mamm said. “I think your daett knows what he’s doing.”

  Mabel glared but said nothing more as she started work on the bacon.

  Katie stayed out of her way but still helped where she could. It would be better, she figured, if breakfast took a little longer than to infuriate Mabel when it could be avoided.

  By the time the men came tramping into the washroom from doing chores, there was still the toast to make. The kettle water had just boiled for the oatmeal, and Mamm rushed to finish up.

  Mabel had a smirk on her face when Jesse walked in because Mamm still wasn’t done. Look how your new frau is doing, Mabel’s look told her daett. I always had things ready on time.