Unbroken by Love (The Basin Lake Series Book 4)

by Vercier, Stephanie

  When she sits at the edge of the bed, I hurry to my nightstand, pull out a box of condoms and slide one over, only registering the confusion in her eyes once I’ve slipped out of my pants, shoes and boxers and put it on.

  “I thought we didn’t need it?”

  “Huh? Oh.” I look down, but before I can even start peeling it off, I think about that look Dr. Cramer gave me, like maybe he knew Kate wasn’t on birth control. “Maybe I’ll just leave it on this time.” That’s not what I was thinking going into this, and I’m disappointed as all hell I won’t get to feel her without a barrier. But for now, I need relief, and we can discuss the birth control later.

  “But why?”

  I’m next to her, my hand on one of her beautifully formed breasts, my lips on her cheek. I shake my head. “We’ll talk about it later.” When I migrate my hand from her breast and down to her stomach, down between her legs, she grabs hold of it.

  “I want to know why.” She inches away from me. “You were so excited about not having to use a condom, and now? It’s just weird.”

  “Come on, Kate.” I wrap my hand around her smooth side, just above her hip. “Let’s not talk about it now, okay?”

  Before I can kiss her again, she’s persistent in getting further away from me and looks distraught all of a sudden. “Did he say something? Dr. Cramer?”

  I sigh, then pretty much damn myself for leaving the condom on. No sense in lying when she’s obviously hurting. “He seemed to think you weren’t on birth control… like you said you were.”

  She lets out a shocked breath. “He told you that? He’s not even my doctor anymore, and if he was, he has no right!” She’s up and off the bed and getting dressed.

  “Kate.” I shake my head. “Come on… come back.” I get up and pull at her to join me on the bed again, but she just pulls away, putting more of her clothes on when I just want her to take them back off.

  “Do you think I was trying something… dishonest with you?”

  I’m about to tell her no, but the fact that I’d kept the condom on says otherwise. Maybe deep down I wondered if she might be lying about the birth control and was trying to get pregnant, but honestly, why the hell would I even care? I’m old enough to be a dad now and willing to share that kind of responsibility with a woman I’m in love with.

  I finally shake my head, but I think it’s too late.

  “You did… you do. And maybe… maybe…” Another sound of chagrin leaves her mouth, but she doesn’t make any effort to finish her sentence.

  “Kate… I—”

  “I’d like to go home,” she says, stepping away from me.

  The last thing I want is for her to leave, especially when she’s so unhappy with me, but she’s strong willed, and she’s not going to be forced into staying. That much I know.

  “Okay,” I agree. “Just give me a minute to get dressed.”

  And with every stitch of clothing I put back on my body, I’m agonized by both a physical need and the thought I’d fucked up what could have been an otherwise perfect night.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  KATE

  “You doing okay?” Beth asks me as I work on edging paint trim around the crown molding in her and Ben’s living room.

  “Sure… why?” I’m apparently a really bad actress. I’ve only been here for a little over fifteen minutes, Beth having hired me to help her change the color in her living room after I’d been talking about all of the plans for Garrett’s house, and she already notices something’s off with me.

  “Well, you just seem kind of quiet, not like your usual self. Everything okay with Garrett?”

  I don’t respond right away. The truth is that after Garrett dropped me home last night, I spent half the night tossing and turning, trying to decide if it would just be better if I ended things. I was lying to him, and I felt guilt for that. And then when he’d mentioned Dr. Cramer saying something about me during his clinic visit, it was like a stab to my gut. Garrett wouldn’t know the entire truth unless Dr. Cramer really decided to break the law, but what if he did? Maybe a preemptive breakup would be the only way to avoid that kind of hurt.

  “Kate?”

  “I’m just tired.” I turn to her, hold the brush so as not to let paint drip on the floor, and give her one of the biggest, fakest smile I can muster.

  She smiles back, concern still peeking through her expression. “Well, I hope that’s it. If it’s anything more, you can always talk to me, okay?”

  “Sure,” I say and get back to painting.

  I do my best to keep a conversation up over the next hour or two. Beth asks me how Paige is doing, and I tell her, sans the whole Little Women real-life comparison. I’m sure Paige is supremely embarrassed about that, and I’m more than willing to let it die out.

  The doorbell rings around noon, and Beth heads down the hall to get it. I figure it might just be some delivery person until I hear the high pitch of a woman’s voice, one that is vaguely familiar.

  “You want to take a break and have some coffee?” Beth asks me, returning to the living room and bringing with her a waft of perfume.

  “Sure,” I say, climbing down my step-ladder and turning to see a woman I haven’t laid eyes on in years. “Lexi?”

  “Well, if it isn’t Paige’s little sister.” Lexi DeNero is all make-up and hair, expensive jeans and a blouse that probably cost more than most of my entire outfits.

  “Oh, hey.” I’m not sure what else to say. Lexi was sort of Paige’s nemesis in high school, having dated Evan before her and making life sort of miserable for both of them. There’d been all kinds of drama surrounding that, but Paige had kept a lot of it secret. I might have pushed for more details after all of it had happened, but once I’d gone into my emo phase, I really couldn’t have cared less.

  “Lexi is up from Kennewick with her little girl,” Beth says.

  And it’s just then I see two little eyes peeking out from between Beth and Lexi. The eyes are attached to a little girl that can’t be older than three or four. She’s in an adorable, flowery dress, a ribbon in her dark hair and a pair of small Mary-Jane shoes.

  “Hey there.” I wave to her and smile and feel a tick of sadness roll through me.

  And I hate it.

  It’s that feeling of jealousy, the one that had briefly gone away while things were going well with Garrett and myself, a feeling that returns so easily when I’m questioning whether he and I should even be together and I see a child and am reminded I’ll never be able to have one.

  “This is Quincy,” Lexi says, pushing her little girl forward. “Say hello, Quincy.”

  “Hi,” the little girl says in a soft voice. And in just speaking those words, I note the pride in Lexi’s expression.

  “How about that coffee then?” Beth asks her friend.

  “I’d love some,” Lexi replies.

  Beth crouches down, hands on her knees, so that she’s close to Quincy’s height. “Would you like to play with my boys or would you rather stick close to your mama and us? It’s up to you.”

  Quincy looks unsure, and Lexi’s pride turns to what I think of as slight annoyance at her daughter’s wariness.

  “They’re really nice,” I tell the girl, coming closer to her and crouching down like Beth. “Their names are Nathan and Cord, and they aren’t like most boys who are really gross. I think you might like them.”

  “Not gross?” She tilts her head, not quite believing.

  “Definitely not gross. They don’t have boy germs or cooties or anything—I promise.” I put my hand over my heart to highlight this fact.

  Her uncertainty melts right away, and with some exuberance, she exclaims, “Okay!”

  “Would you like to take her?” Beth asks. “And I’ll get the coffee started.”

  Lexi nods me her permission, and I take the little girl who is pretty much skipping alongside me to the large playroom where Nathan and Cord are creating some kind of castle with building blocks. I introduce them t
o Quincy, and they easily make room for her, telling her what they’re doing in their childlike chatter and not treating her any differently at all for being a girl.

  Ben and Beth are raising two strong and sensitive boys, and I’m filled with a decent amount of pride at my role in helping them along. It’s not the same as having your own, but it’s something.

  By the time I’m back in the dining room, Beth has made the coffee and put out cookies. Lexi pushes them away, as if just looking at them could make her gain weight, while I indulge in first a chocolate chip and then an oatmeal raisin. I don’t even have to talk with my mouth full because Lexi is talking enough to basically have a conversation for all of us.

  “They can just be so annoying,” she says about the parents she’d been complaining about since my first sip of coffee. Visiting them had been her reason for coming up to Basin Lake, but she’d gotten so annoyed she decided to look Beth up.

  “Your house is nice,” she says, looking around the new house that is kind of cookie-cutter but a place Beth seems intent on putting her own signature on. “But you should see me and Mason’s place in Kennewick. It’s in a gated community, and it’s so big! I swear that Quincy has gotten lost inside of it more than once.” She laughs shortly, then adds, “And the views of the Columbia are gorgeous.”

  “Well, we can’t all live in mini-mansions and have views,” Beth says, not doing a lot to hide what I imagine is some annoyance.

  “No, of course not.” Lexi smiles, takes a short drink of coffee, then swallows and breathes once before moving right along. She is never without anything to say, and gossiping about people she and Beth would have gone to high school with, people I know of but don’t know well, seems to be her favorite topic.

  “I don’t know how you keep up with it all,” Beth says as she pours another round of coffees for us. “I mean, I live here, and I don’t know half the things that you seem to.”

  “I just like to stay in the loop.” She scrolls through her phone, probably the type that spends half her day on that thing, looking for any small hint of drama in whatever people are posting about themselves.

  It’s really of no interest to me, and I’ve offered so little to the conversation that I figure they won’t miss me if I get back to painting. I’m just about to excuse myself and take my coffee to the sink when Lexi pulls herself away from whatever person she’s been blathering on about and says my name.

  “Yes?” I answer, slightly startled.

  “I hear Paige and Evan are doing well. Married and a baby coming!” She looks pleased, maybe even happy for them, but I can’t be sure if her expression is real or just put on. From the few minutes I’ve spent with her, I’m not sure Lexi DeNero is actually happy for anyone else’s success but her own.

  “They’re doing great,” I offer. “Paige is teaching, and Evan has that restaurant. I just saw them the other day. She’s coming right along.”

  “Oh, I wish I’d visited a few day earlier then. So sorry to have not made the wedding,” she says, masking the fact that she wasn’t even invited. “I’d love to say a quick hello to them both… doesn’t seem like either of them have much of a presence online.” She looks down at her phone and shrugs.

  It’s more likely she’s tried to friend them but that they’ve declined, not out of spite, but perhaps because they don’t want her talking behind their backs like she seems to do about everyone else.

  “Well, I can say hi to them for you. It won’t be a problem. And it was nice—”

  “And Garrett Hevener?” she asks, cutting me off and keeping me from making a graceful exit. “Quite the coup getting him back to Basin Lake. I heard through the grapevine you’ve been helping him at this farm he bought?”

  I ease back in my chair and throw Beth a look, to which she just shrugs. She’s not really the type to gossip, but I’m sure Lexi has her ways of finding things out.

  “That’s right,” I say, trying to remain cool, calm and collected in saying anything at all about Garrett. “I worked for a home building charity for the last couple of years, so I’m just lending a hand, giving him some design ideas.”

  “You know about the love triangle with your sister and Evan and Garrett, don’t you?”

  “That’s ancient history.” Beth gives Lexi a look like she should know better, and I don’t even have to say a word.

  “Yes, I suppose you’re right, but all of the things Garrett got up to while playing for the Vikings isn’t even close to ancient.” She gets this look on her face like she’s a balloon about ready to get inflated, like she can’t wait to spill what she knows.

  And what’s horrible is that part of me wants her to spill, even though my throat is suddenly so tight that I’d be unable to ask.

  “Most of it’s not even true I’m sure.” Beth rolls her eyes and looks toward the ceiling, letting out a huge sigh.

  “Oh, come on, Beth. You know Garrett a lot better than either of us do! You used to sleep with the guy.”

  This isn’t news of course, but it still makes me a little sick to my stomach. In a town as small as Basin Lake, you have to expect a little overlap when it comes to people dating one another. Beth and Garrett were together in high school, and I accept that, even if I don’t especially want to be reminded of it.

  “I’m married to Ben,” Beth snaps. “And Kate doesn’t want to hear about me and Garrett.”

  Lexi takes a quick drink of her coffee, then pushes right on. “How about all of the other girls, then?” She widens her eyes, her gaze drilling right into me.

  “I don’t think…” I begin, clearing my throat to continue when she cuts me off.

  “You know, there’s this woman in our neighborhood association, a newlywed and all, but she used to live in Seattle. Somehow she and I got on the topic of football—I think we were both half drunk!” She lets out an amused laugh before moving right along. “And then I mentioned Garrett Hevener, Basin Lake’s own football god, and you should have seen the look on her face! Oh… my… god. She couldn’t hold back and told me she hooked up with him when the Vikings were playing an away game. Banged her and her friend real good, then flew them to Minneapolis to do it all again! The stories that girl tells… if her husband only knew!”

  Beth’s mouth is hanging halfway open, and I’m sure mine is too. Whatever Garrett did or didn’t do before I started sleeping with him isn’t really any of my business, but if what Lexi is saying is true, then it definitely explains why he’d been so insistent on going to the clinic to get tested.

  It also tells me he’s probably been with a lot more than just a few girls, and I’m more hurt at that than I’d imagined I could be.

  “There aren’t any words, are there?” Lexi looks so damn satisfied that she’s shocked us into silence. “Garrett was always the strong, silent type. Never would have pegged him for a womanizer.”

  “I think you should just stop talking.” It’s what finally comes out of my mouth after being so silent. Anger bubbles up from inside of me, and I go on. “From what I hear, Lexi… you’re kind of a bitch, so maybe you should stop gossiping about other people and focus a little more on yourself.”

  Beth looks at me, and in her eyes she’s registering how upset I am. “Kate… I’m sorry,” she says as I push my chair out and leave the table.

  “She just called me a bitch,” Lexi says, not so much angry, but more like she can’t believe I’d had the nerve.

  “Beth, I’ll have to come back another day to finish the painting,” I say, half my body already tucked behind the hallway leading to the front door. “Just let me know if you’ll still need for me to babysit tomorrow when you get the chance.”

  “Okay,” she says, and Lexi is quiet, the first time since she’d entered the house.

  With keys in hand, I’m out the door and glad to be in my car. I can be angry, can look angry, and not have to tell whomever might otherwise have had to pick me up as to why. I can yell and scream as I’m driving along the two lane roads in Basin Lak
e if I want to get my anguish out before I have to see another person. And I do some of that, go through a gamut of emotions before feeling bad for what I said to Lexi, not because she didn’t deserve it, but because her daughter was in the next room and could have potentially heard me calling her mom a bitch.

  I shake that worry away, and when I reach the turn off for our road, knowing I could probably brush past Grandma and head upstairs to my room and just be by myself, I instead keep the wheels going forward. My destination is Garrett’s house because I realize it’s not just Lexi I’d been pissed at—it’s him.

  With that condom on his dick last night, he’d looked at me like I was a liar, like I was trying to get one over on him and get pregnant so he could be my baby daddy, so I could fleece whatever money he’d made in the NFL. And here he’d been the one who was guilty, guilty of being a man whore and sleeping with a bunch of girls, maybe so many that he was sure he’d picked up some kind of STD and was probably shocked to find out he hadn’t.

  And that’s what I’m going to tell him if he’s home. I’m going to march right into his house and tell him that he can think as many awful things as he wants about me, but he’s the one who’d done wrong, who’d stuck himself into whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

  I’m at his house before I know it, still angry… fuming really. And deep down I know that I’m wrong, that it shouldn’t matter about his past, but it still feels good in a way. If I can be truly mad at him, then I don’t have to think about the disappointment I’d see in his eyes when he’d find out I could never give him a kid. The anger erases the image, and so I let it build to a furious pitch, so much so that I’m out of my car and slamming my car door, then rushing up to his front door and pounding on it.

  When he opens it, in jeans and a button-up shirt, his curly blond hair dipping over his forehead, in need of a cut, he smiles. “Kate. Did you get my messages?”

  I close my eyes and take an incredibly deep breath to calm myself. When I open them, I nod. He’d called and left one message last night and two this morning, messages that I’d barely listened to. I just hadn’t been ready to talk to him, and maybe I’m still not.