Too Close to Home

by Susan Lewis

  She had to stop the images that kept tormenting her. If she didn’t, she would lose her mind.

  By the time they arrived at the car park in Rhossili it was so jammed with the vehicles of yet more volunteers that the police directed them to park in a specially cordoned-off area a few yards away. Euan, having traveled behind them in the convoy, was quick to jump out of his car to make sure his fellow officers were fully aware of who Jenna was.

  She was treated as kindly by the police and those who recognized her as the weather was treating the stunning landscape around them. There was no wind, no rain, no dull leaden clouds, only sunshine and early spring warmth. She could sense people staring at her, feeling pity—and relief that they weren’t in her shoes. She didn’t look back at them.

  The search was already under way, with many volunteers split into groups spreading out over the downs, the beach, and the cliffs, wherever they’d been sent. Jenna’s party was assigned a section of moorland close to the village.

  So far three more people had confirmed seeing a teenage girl getting off the bus around ten yesterday morning. As yet no one seemed to know where she’d gone from there, apart from one person who was sure they’d spotted her in the churchyard.

  “They’ve given you this area close to the village,” Euan told her, “so you won’t have a problem getting to the car if you need to leave.”

  Jenna turned to look out at the Worm’s Head, stretching its rocky self out into the sun-spangled sea. She was trying to recall the poem Paige had whispered over her misty shots of the landmark, but her mind had gone blank. “She might have got cut off by the tide,” she said to no one in particular. “Has anyone checked out there?”

  “Yes, we have,” she was told by one of the officers in her group. “No sign of her. Would you like to make a start now?”

  The answer was no, because it shouldn’t be happening, but she obediently followed him and the others along a footpath she’d trodden many times on family walks out onto the moor. Every step felt wrong; she was desperate to turn back, to run from the reality of what she was doing because it was making no sense, but how could she trust her instinct that Paige wasn’t here when her instinct had let her down so badly till now?

  Hours passed as the volunteers combed every inch of the territory, spreading out for miles, digging into ditches, tearing at bracken, lowering themselves into caves, and even trying to tune in to the prehistoric stone circles and burial chambers to connect with Paige on another level.

  Nothing was found: not a single trace of a teenage girl having spent the night in the open, or something she might have dropped on her way to who knew where.

  It was just after two when Jack rang to let Jenna know he was in the car park.

  Hanna walked back with her, holding her arm and trying in her touching, steadfast way to transmit some moral support into her heart.

  They found Jack talking to DS Mariner. His face was ashen, his eyes tired and bleak. Jenna wondered if he’d already been questioned about his relationship with Paige. If he had, this would surely have taken place on the phone before now, not here with so many people around.

  “I was asking your husband how you’d feel about broadcasting an appeal,” Mariner told her.

  A bolt of cruel reality crashed through Jenna as she looked at Jack. “What did you say?” she asked him.

  “That I’d be guided by you,” he replied, showing no trace of hostility.

  Jenna turned back to Mariner. “How’s it going to help?” she wanted to know. “It can’t unless she has access to the news.”

  “Which she might have,” Mariner pointed out. “She has her phone.”

  “Has she turned it on?”

  Mariner shook her head. “If she’s staying with someone…”

  “You mean this Julie?” Whoever this Julie might be.

  Mariner drew them aside so they’d be out of earshot. Sensing they were about to be told something bad, Jenna almost turned away. But what good would it do Paige if she was too afraid to hear the truth?

  “What is it?” she asked, feeling the awful shaking starting again. “Have you found something?”

  “Not here,” Mariner answered. “On her computer. It seems she and Julie had a suicide pact….”

  “Oh my God!” Jenna sobbed.

  Hanna slipped an arm around her, while Jack stared glassy-eyed at the detective.

  “You have to find this Julie,” Jenna cried. “Do you know who she is yet?”

  Mariner said, “I’m hoping to have some answers very soon. Are you sure she’s never mentioned her?”

  “Of course I’m sure. I’d have told you if she had.”

  Mariner looked at Jack. “I’ve no idea,” Jack said.

  The detective nodded. “Are you ready to come to the station?” she asked him.

  As he assented, Jenna could almost feel the depth of his fear and exhaustion. He was clearly jet-lagged, probably hadn’t slept all night, and had then driven all the way from Heathrow to join the search, only now to be hauled in by the police to be interrogated in a way that was going to tear him apart. She wished there was something she could say to help him, but she’d done all she could yesterday when they were questioning her. She truly didn’t believe he’d ever laid a finger on Paige in the way they were suggesting, but the only person who could persuade them of that was Paige herself.

  After Jack had gone Jenna and Hanna rejoined their group, more to feel they were doing something than because they believed they were going to find her. Reports were starting to come in of sightings in Swansea and Cardiff, even as far afield as Newport, and Jenna could feel her hopes draining away with each one.

  It was five o’clock by the time Richard took them back to the house. They were all tired and hungry, and Jenna was more afraid than ever. Please God, don’t let there be another night without us knowing where she is. Why hadn’t the computer experts found this Julie yet? What was proving so difficult? Surely identities couldn’t be that hard to uncover.

  “Mummy! Mummy!” Josh and the twins cried as she walked in the door. “Did you find her?”

  Catching them as they ran to her, Jenna had to say, “Not yet.”

  “Nor did we,” Josh confessed solemnly.

  “We looked everywhere,” Flora told her. “All along the beach and the dunes, in the Salt House, even in the churchyard where the big sailor is.”

  “He’s a lifeboatman,” Josh reminded her.

  “Oh yes.”

  “And when we told people what we were doing they joined in,” Wills added.

  “That was nice of them,” Jenna sighed as Richard followed her inside. “This is Mr. Pryce,” she told the children, “and these are his sons, Oliver and Cullum.”

  Flora and Wills had such a long way to look up at Oliver and his father, and were so cute in their circular glasses as they did so, that Jenna’s heart folded with love. “Hello,” they said in unison.

  “Hello,” Richard replied, going down to their height. “I’m guessing you’re Flora and you’re Wills, which means you must be Josh?”

  Josh nodded and leaned into his mother.

  “We can’t find our sister,” Flora whispered. “She’s got lost somewhere and we don’t know where she is.”

  “I know,” Richard replied gently, “but we’ll find her, don’t you worry about that.”

  Flora looked up at Jenna as though needing her to confirm it.

  “We will,” Jenna insisted, needing to hear herself say it.

  “Grandma bought hot cross buns,” Wills told them. “She’s put them in the oven to warm up.”

  Since they’d rung ahead to let Kay know they were on their way, the tea was already made, so while Richard and Oliver joined Jenna, Hanna, and their mother in the kitchen, Cullum went off to be impressed by the children’s gadgets and toys.

  “Any word from Jack yet?” Kay asked. “Is he still with the police?”

  Jenna checked her mobile and shook her head. What could be taking so
long?

  “He might have gone home to get some sleep,” Hanna suggested. “Why don’t you try him?”

  When Jenna pressed in his number she went straight to voicemail. “No news,” she told him, “but you probably already know that. Are you still with the police? Call when you get this.” Turning back to the others, she said to Richard, “Do you think a televised appeal is a good idea?”

  “Actually, I do,” he replied. “If she’s hiding out somewhere and sees it and realizes how worried you are, it could make all the difference.”

  Jenna nodded and took the tea her mother was passing. Of course it made sense to try to communicate with Paige in any way she could; she just didn’t want to become one of the tragic mothers she’d watched so many times on the news. It wasn’t who they were. Things like this didn’t happen to their family, and yet it was happening, right here and now, and she had to drag herself out of this need to deny it or she was going to be of no help at all.

  “Would you like me to go?” Oliver offered as someone knocked on the front door.

  “Please,” Jenna responded. “If it’s someone from the press, say I’m not here, and if it’s one of the neighbors, tell them I’m having a lie-down.”

  As they waited for him to come back Jenna was tempted to tell Richard about Paige’s crush on his son, but before she could decide whether it might be breaking Paige’s confidence the sound of raised voices reached them.

  Putting their cups down, they hurried to the front door, where a stocky blond woman with a furious red face was shouting at Oliver. It wasn’t clear at first why she was so angry. When Jenna understood the reason, she turned cold to her core.

  “Get her out of here,” she said to Richard. “Please. Do whatever it takes.”

  Moving past his son, Richard said to the woman, “Mrs. Durham, you shouldn’t be here.”

  “And she shouldn’t be accusing my girl of things she hasn’t done. It’s not my Kelly’s fault your daughter has gone and run off.”

  “Yes, it is her fault,” Cullum shouted from behind them. “I saw what she did to Paige. I know what she’s like, everyone does.”

  Mrs. Durham’s face twitched.

  “It’s time to go,” Richard told her. “Please leave.”

  “It was others that put her up to it,” Mrs. Durham cried as she got into her car. “My Kelly can’t take all the blame. The way everyone’s turning on her…”

  “It’s what she deserves, the way she turned everyone against Paige,” Cullum called after her. “The messages my brother got, we know they came from her.”

  “Ssh, that’s enough,” his father cautioned.

  “I’m telling you this,” the woman shouted through her car window, “if my girl gets thrown out of school I won’t be the only one coming after you.”

  As Jenna turned back inside she saw the younger ones watching from the stairs, round-eyed with fright. “It’s OK,” she told them gently. “It was someone who…” Someone who what? What could she tell them?

  “It was someone who should know better than to go round shouting at other people,” Richard provided. “Between us, I think she was a bit drunk and didn’t realize she’d got the wrong house, so don’t you worry about her anymore. She’s gone now and she won’t be coming back.”

  “She’d better not,” Hanna muttered as they returned to the kitchen. “If that’s the kind of family the girl comes from, it’s no wonder she’s like she is.”

  Shaking his head, Richard said, “I’m gathering from this that the chief bully in the case is Kelly Durham, daughter of Wendy, who just graced us with a visit?”

  “Do you know them?” Jenna asked.

  “I’ve had occasion to represent various members of the family,” he admitted. “The father’s a car dealer, currently in prison for tax evasion. His brother’s about to be prosecuted for the same. And one of the mother’s sisters is on a suspended sentence for aggravated assault. She attacked the manager of a store who apprehended her for shoplifting.”

  Jenna could hardly believe it. “And it’s someone from that family who’s been picking on Paige? Dear God, is it any wonder no one wants to stand up for her?”

  “I think you ought to tell the police she’s been here,” Hanna stated.

  Jenna nodded. “I will when Euan turns up.”

  “Where is he? I thought he was following us.”

  “He popped home to see his family for a while. Jack’s rung,” she added after checking her mobile. Quickly connecting to him, she took the phone into the dining room to speak more privately.

  “Sorry, I was asleep when you rang,” he said. “I take it there’s still no news.”

  “No. Where are you?”

  “At home.”

  At home? Isn’t this his home? “What did the police have to say?” she asked.

  “Are you pretending not to know, or do you really not know?”

  Moving past the belligerence, she said, “I told them it was nonsense. I know nothing like that ever happened.”

  “Of course it didn’t, and I’d like to get my hands on the kids who tried to make out it did. Can you imagine how it must have made her feel? It’s no wonder she didn’t want to talk to me. She probably couldn’t even stand to look at me without thinking of what they were saying.”

  Realizing that was probably true, Jenna told him, “We’ve just had a visit from the bully’s mother. If you’d seen her…heard her…Our lovely girl must have been terrified out of her mind, and what were we doing all that time? Thinking about ourselves, not sparing—”

  “Just a minute,” he interrupted. “I hope you’re not about to start blaming me for any of this.”

  Stunned, Jenna retorted, “You can’t seriously think you bear no responsibility at all. If you hadn’t gone off in pursuit of your own—”

  “Jenna, I really don’t need this.”

  “Nor do I,” she cried furiously, “but for me there’s no escaping it. She’s missing, no one seems to have the first idea where she is or who she’s with, and if we end up not being able to find her then let me tell you, I won’t only be holding you responsible, I’ll be making sure the rest of the world does too.”

  As she ended the call she was so incensed by his words and disbelieving of his attitude that she had to give herself a moment before she could return to the kitchen. When she did, Jack rang again. She couldn’t answer. She was too wound up to be able to deal with whatever else he had to say. So she sent him a text.

  I know you care about Paige and want to find her as much as I do, so we have to try to support each other, not keep attacking, she wrote. The children need you. They’re scared and I hardly know what to tell them. It would help if you were here, but only if you can control the way you’re speaking to me.

  It wasn’t until after Richard and his sons had gone home and she was getting the children ready for bed that he texted back. I’m sorry for what I said. After the things I’ve been accused of today I guess I wasn’t thinking straight. I want to help with the children, please let me. I want to be there for you too.

  Deciding to call him, she went into her bedroom and closed the door. “If you want to come and spend the night here you can,” she told him. “I can’t imagine either of us will get any sleep, but I know I wouldn’t want to be on my own right now, so there’s no reason why you should be.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked.

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “Then I’ll be there within the hour.”

  —

  It was just after seven-thirty the following morning that the police rang to speak to Jenna. She was already awake, though huddled under a blanket on the sofa, while Jack slept in Josh’s room. The children were spread out around her, with Hanna and her mother dozing in the armchairs until the phone roused them.

  Torn between hope and dread, Jenna clicked on the line and waited for the person at the other end to speak.

  “Mrs. Moore? It’s Lesley Mariner.”

  “Have you f
ound her?” Jenna asked faintly.

  “I’m afraid not, but a dog walker’s just called in…”

  Jenna didn’t hear any more. It was always dog walkers who found bodies. “No!” she sobbed wretchedly. “Please, please no.”

  Hanna rushed to her.

  “I don’t think you heard me,” Mariner was saying. “Are you still there, Mrs. Moore?”

  “Yes, I’m here,” Jenna whispered, stilling Hanna.

  “This person is claiming to have seen a teenage girl on Whiteford Sands about half an hour ago,” Mariner told her.

  Jenna was trying to make sense of it. A teenage girl on the beach a few miles away, at this hour…“Was…was it her?” she asked.

  “We don’t know, but she fits the description, so the search-and-rescue team is on its way. I thought you’d like to know.”

  “Of course. Thank you. I…” She was trying to think. She needed to go over there, and she needed to go now. “There’s been a sighting at Whiteford Sands,” she told the others. “They don’t know if it’s her, but it was a teenage girl who fits the description.”

  Dashing upstairs, she roused Jack and ran back down again, not even taking the time to splash water on her face or comb her hair. It was going to be Paige. It had to be, and if it was, she needed to get to her as fast as she possibly could.

  Minutes later she, Jack, and Hanna were in the car with Waffle in the back. “He’ll find her,” Jenna declared, brimming with confidence. “He’s her dog. He’ll know where she is. We should have taken him yesterday. Why didn’t I think of it? She wasn’t there, though, was she, so he couldn’t have found her then. But he will this morning, won’t you, sweetie? You’re going to find Paige, and then we’ll bring her home.”

  Jack glanced at her worriedly, while Hanna put a hand on Jenna’s shoulder as though to calm her.

  “It’ll be her,” Jenna insisted, her eyes swimming in tears. “I know it. I swear, it’s going to be her.”

  By the time they drove into the quaint little hamlet of Cwm Ivy, heading for the wooded hillsides around Whiteford Sands, the place was already teeming with police cars. Recognizing Jenna, a uniformed officer waved them through, and directed Jack to pull up at the side of the track.