Shh...Mine (This. Is. Not. Over.)

by Dianne, Shannon

  “Where to miss?”

  “525 Harbor Drive.” I say as he pulls off. I steal a look behind me and Laura is now wrapped in Malcolm’s arms, crying. What the hell?

  July 2nd

  Hangover…and someone’s tapping on the front door. I slide out of bed, my hair an absolute nest over my head, and then remember I have a little nightie on. Where is my cover-up? I hear the tap again. Damn, my head is throbbing. And what time is it anyways? I look on the nightstand by my bed: 6:03 a.m. Who in the hell would be at the door this early? And then last night pops in my head. That woman. Is it her? I find my wrap lying on a lounge chair and throw it on. If this is Malcolm’s fiancé, I’m going to murder her. How does she know where I’m staying? I walk to the door and hear another soft rap on the door. No, it can’t be her. A crazy person would have knocked the door down by now. It doesn’t take long for me to see the figure through the glass door. Jon. What. The. Fuck. He’s standing there with a suitcase sitting beside him. Are you serious? I slide the door open and look at him like he has two heads. He gives me a weak smile.

  “Hey, Danny.” That’s Danielle to you, bitch. I say nothing. He points to my hair and then smiles. “I always liked when your hair did that in the morning.” I smooth over my hair. Jon and that damn hair fetish. His smile fades when he realizes that I’m not in the friendly mood. I tried to be nice to you two months ago and you chose Marla, so what do you want now? “I didn’t call before I came because I didn’t want you to say no.” I cross my hands in front of my chest. I’m not helping you out here. Keep talking… “I really wanted to spend the holiday with Nicky.” Why? You don’t even like the Fourth of July, you think it’s a celebration for white people only. But I can’t deny him entrance into Nicky’s life. Whether I like it or not, I’m joined to Jon at the hip until Nicky turns 18 and I must be nice. I can’t tell Jon that he can’t stay here since his son is right upstairs. Defeated. I move out of the way and look towards the inside of the house. You can come in but don’t think I have to talk to you. “Thank you.” He says as he walks past me. I point to the room on the first floor, right across from mine. My parents’ room is upstairs with Nicky’s, I guess he’ll have to take the one down here next to me. Perfect. Now I’ll have to hear his hippie ass crunching on apples all night long. Jon walks into the room and I head to my parent’s room, thinking along the way: why did I get pregnant by this son-of-a-bitch? I tap on my parent’s door. No answer. I tap again. No answer. I slide the door open, which is what any child does when they know their parents are right inside but purposely ignoring them.

  “Shit Danielle!” My mother screams as she jumps off of my father. “Can you knock!”

  “I did, nasty.” I say as I smile and listen to my father laugh as he pulls the covers over him. I hate to say it like this, but this isn’t the first time that I’ve caught my father with his dick in the air. My mother likes to get laid, as she told me once before. My father is there at her command. I’ve accidentally walked in on them three times before; the poor guy is probably exhausted. It probably isn’t easy pleasing Ms. Monroe.

  “Well next down knock harder.” She says as she scrambles for her robe.

  “Wow ma, you have an awesome body.” I look to my dad, whose laughing harder now, and give him a thumbs up.

  “What the hell do you want?” She looks at me and puts her hands on her hips.

  “Jon’s here.” The anger from her faces slides off and my father’s smile fades.

  “Oh boy.” Daddy says, which, since he doesn’t curse, is the equivalent to ‘oh shit’.

  “You’re kidding.” My mom says.

  “I wish I was. Did either one of you tell him where we were staying?”

  “Of course not…Jackson, you didn’t tell him did you?”

  “I haven’t spoken to that boy since Jasmine’s wedding.” Jasmine.

  “I think I know.” I say before turning around and heading out of the room.

  I sneak my head into Nicky’s room to check on him. His covers are on the floor by his bed. He hates sleeping with them but I don’t care, I go in and put them back on him. As long as they’re on him when I leave his room, I’m mentally satisfied. I tip-toe out of his room and then bolt down the steps in pursuit of my cell phone. I peek into Jon’s room on the way to mine and see that his shirt is off and he’s looking through his suitcase. His rips are gone but he’s solid, no fat yet. Dammit. I want you to look a damn mess. I run into my room and go for the clutch that I carried last night. Ripping it open I grab my cell. Missed messages and missed calls.

  Malcolm 2:38 am: That will never happen again Danielle.

  Lola 4:26 am: Shit, I heard what happened. Call me.

  One missed call at 5:30am, Lola.

  I call Jasmine and wait for her to answer. I’m not mad Malcolm. If you’re no longer with her and she can’t get over it, I don’t blame her. You’re sexy as hell and a good fuck. I’d be hunting your ass down too. Lola, I’ll call you in a sec…I have to threaten Jasmine’s life. Jasmine’s phone rings three times before she picks it up.

  “Who died?” She asks.

  “Did you tell Jon where I was?”

  “Yes.” Wait, does she sound proud.

  “Why?”

  “Huh?”

  “Why did you tell him?”

  “Because he’s your husband.”

  “Soon to be ex-husband Jasmine. I don’t want him keeping tabs on me.”

  “Danielle you are so hard on him.”

  “Excuse me, do you not remember me telling you about Marla in his hotel room?”

  “Yes, and he just told Marlon that he was actually alone. Marla wasn’t in there.”

  “Of course he told Marlon that, he knew Marlon would tell you.”

  “Why are you so hard on him!”

  “Why can’t you just be a friend to me?”

  “I am your friend which is why I’m trying to help.”

  “Jon and I are through. Over. Done. Don’t help me! He’s fucking Marla. He left me, the mother of his child in that hallway and went back into that hotel room with another woman. We are done. Do you get that? I hope this won’t be a problem for us just because your husband and my ex-husband are friends.”

  “What? Of course it won’t be a problem Danielle!” Oh wow, is she crying? She’s so emotional. Let me take a deep breath and relax.

  “There’s no need to cry.” She sniffles. I told you, I hear Marlon say to her in the background.

  “I just hate that this happened to you and Jon. We all were supposed to be friends and hang out and now…” She drifts off and I hear a sob. Well don’t cry Jasmine, I hear Marlon say. Damn, I feel sorry for Jasmine that my marriage is over. I know it completely ruins her plans of having a perfect life. Poor thing.

  “I have to go.” I say before pushing End on the call.

  “Danny.” Jon says from behind me. Of course he heard, why wouldn’t he? I say nothing as I turn to look at him. You ruined my life. “Marla wasn’t in that room with me.” His voice is low and he actually looks regretful. Well it’s too late.

  “Regardless of if she was in that room or not, you left me hanging. You didn’t have my back. I graveled to you and you made me feel like a fool. You just left your wedding ring in the closet like it didn’t mean shit.” So regardless if Marla was in the room or not, this marriage is over. I turn around to call Lola back and my phone rings. Jasmine. I press ignore. Walking to my bedroom door, I close it right on Jon’s sullen ass face and head to get dressed. I’ll call Lola and force her to meet me for coffee. She and I need to talk.

  Paw’s Coffee Shop

  “My sister is obsessed.” Lola says as she sips her coffee. I almost choke. We met at the same little coffee place Malcolm took me to with its small town feel and general store next door. But the comfort of the surroundings did nothing to prepare me for that blow.

  “Wait, did you just say sister?” I sit back in my chair. Did I just hear that right?

  “Laura is m
y older sister; she met Malcolm through Cadence and me.”

  “And what happened?”

  “They met when he was a sophomore at Princeton because she begged me to introduce them.”

  “Did he like her?”

  “Eh…you never know with Malcolm. You know how he is; he has a smile and an attentive eye for everyone. When you’re with him, you’re the only one in the room.” She smiles. “He smiled at her, he listened to her…Laura figured he was in love with her but I just think that it’s his thing.”

  “His thing?”

  “Yeah. He’s a hard-ass in the office but Malcolm has always been a softie when it comes to the American dream. A wife, kids, summers on Hilton Head, holidays in London.”

  “And so what happened between them?”

  “You.” What?

  “Me?” She smiles.

  “For years, there was a running joke between Cadence and Malcolm.” She takes a sip of her coffee and sets it back on the table as perfectly as her manicured nails were painted. “It seems that every time all four of us were out together, Cadence would yell out: there goes red.”

  “What?”

  “I know, Laura and I never got it. But every time Cadence saw something red, he’d say it. I noticed Malcolm would never say anything, he just smiled but something was off with it. His eyes would then drift off for a moment before he came back to join us. Of course, Laura and I never got that the joke was about you.” I’m floored. Completely floored.

  “Wow, I can’t believe it.”

  “He’s always liked you Danielle.” She takes another sip of her coffee. “Always.”

  “We met in high school, shared a little and then we went our separate ways.” I shrug.

  “It wasn’t such an easy break for Malcolm. He thought about you.” Thought about you…I thought about you. That’s one of my favorite jazz songs performed by Miles Davis. I close my eyes. This man thought about me.

  “I thought about him too.” Wait, am I about to cry? Why am I about to cry? I reach for my coffee cup. I will not cry.

  “The heart wants what the heart wants.” Lola shrugs. “Laura and Malcolm just weren’t meant to be and he did right by cutting things off before they were married.”

  “How long have then been broken up? Maybe it’s still too fresh for her.”

  “Since Christmas.” She waves me off. Christmas.

  “Lola.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Did Malcolm ever tell you I saw him a few weeks before Christmas in Belgium?” She smiles. He did.

  “The heart will find the object of its desire.”

  “Lola, tell me. When you came up to me that day, did you know who I was?”

  “I won’t lie Danielle, by then Cadence had already told me about you since he agreed to work with your father. He felt it only right. He was sure that you two would run into each other one day and you would remember him. Though I had never seen you before, how many black girls with red hair are there? I saw you in Starbucks and kind of knew it was you. But I was under strict orders not to mention that Malcolm was your little secret admirer. I was only allowed to mention that he was my brother-in-law. I was told that you two had an arrangement and-“

  “I didn’t want to know who he was.”

  “Right. So, I didn’t reveal that he was the boy you used to dream with on piers and swings. When Cadence told me that, I thought it was so adorable.” She smiles at me. And then I realize, Malcolm and I have a history. We share a history together.

  “Did he ever tell you that he sent flowers to me every spring for years?”

  “Of course I know about that.”

  I lean my head back and exhale deeply. Malcolm.

  “How much trouble will your sister cause me?”

  “I won’t be lie, she’s a damn handful.” I look at Lola and now her face is stern. Is there a problem?

  “What’s the look for?”

  “I just don’t like the way she treated Malcolm.”

  “Well it seems that he was the one that kinda ruined things.”

  “Believe me, they’re both to blame, she more than he.” And while I desperately want to hear the story, Lola is Laura’s sister so her loyalty is to her first. I won’t press the issue. “Have you spoken to Malcolm since yesterday?” Her smile is back. Why is she so happy that her sister is obsessed and heartbroken?

  “Not yet. Actually, I want to tell you something.”

  “What?”

  I know she won’t take this well.

  “Jon is here.” Her coffee mug slams on the table. Umm…okay.

  “Where is he staying?”

  “Well I had no choice but to let him stay at the house with the rest of us.”

  “He’s just trying to get back in your good graces Danielle.”

  “He claims this trip is all about Nicky.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “I had no choice Lola.” I throw my hands up. “My hands were tied. I can’t deny him entrance into his son’s life.”

  “But he’s a fucking creep.”

  “To me, not Nicky.” There is a difference. She shakes her head and then picks up her coffee mug to take an angry sip out of it.

  “To me, if a man abuses the mother of his child, he has no right to be welcomed into that child’s life. You don’t want Nicky thinking he can treat women like Jon treated you.” Wow, she’s really angry.

  “And he won’t Lola, but I can’t deny Jon the right to see Nicky. Not even the law will agree with me on that.”

  “I guess.” She takes another angry sip before I look at my watch.

  “I’ve gotta go.” I say to her as I back away from the table. “I told everyone I’d got to breakfast with them.”

  “Will Jon be coming along?”

  “Of course.”

  “Fucking bastard.” She mutters.

  “I know but what can I do?” I reach into my clutch and throw a twenty on the table.

  “Put that away.” She says to me as she pushes it across the table to me. I push it back, smile at my friend and walk over to give her a hug. She hates Jon. “Don’t let that asshole wheedle his way back into your life Danielle. You’ve moved on.”

  “He’s here for Nicky and nothing more.” I say to her. She gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Call me later.”

  I head out to my car in order to meet everyone at Plantation Kitchen. I picked the place because I knew the name would burn Jon alive. I rock out to Adele the whole way there. You could’ve had it aaaaaallll... I decide to call Malcolm when I had time to talk. I’ll admit, I have an extra pep in my step knowing that Malcolm thought about me for so many years. It’s always flattering to know that a man like Malcolm could actually like someone so much as to be relentless in revealing himself to me. I am smiling as I look onto the crowded street, trying to find a place to park. Damn, it’s crowded as hell. I end up parking two blocks away and have to hike to the restaurant. Squeezing through people waiting for seats, I walk to the hostess and she instantly knows who I am.

  “Red hair, your mom told me.” She says smiling. I nod and follow her to the table and Nicky’s the first person I see, he’s drawing. Jon’s the second person I see, he’s helping Nicky draw. Malcolm is the third person I see, he’s at the table right next to them. Oh shit.

  Plantation Kitchen

  “Danielle, you went to school with the Blair boys so you should know Malcolm.” My father says as Malcolm, Cadence, he, Jon and I stand between our tables. My father knew by now that Lola and I were friends so of course I had met Cadence. “Do you remember Malcolm?”

  “Of course.” I say, my heart threatening to pound through my chest. Oh shit…oh shit… Up until this point, my eyes are glued to my father. Should I take a sneak peek at Malcolm? Yes, I will. I take a peek at him. He’s staring at me with a smirk. Shit! Why did I do that? I look away to my father again.

  “Red was the talk of St. Bernadette’s.” Cadence says with his booming voice. “Prettiest girl on campus.” I smile
and drift my eyes off to my mother. She’s seated at the table next to Nicky now, looking at me like I’m crazy. What’s the matter?, her eyes are saying to me. I close them tight and shoot them to Malcolm and then back to her. Huh? I don’t get it. He’s a fine ass white boy, so what?

  “That she was.” I hear Malcolm say.

  “I always wondered who’d be the lucky guy to win Red.” Cadence says. Okay, now he’s fucking with Jon. Surely Cadence knows everything that’s happening. I look to him and he looks at me with a wide smile. I’m going to kill you Cadence. Malcolm is smirking besides him. I can already hear what’s going on in his mind: Hey Jon, guess what? I’m fucking your wife. And get this, I don’t have one of those little dicks that black women swear white men have. My dick is actually big, she told me so. When did she tell me? Right after she pulled it out of her mouth.

  “Danielle!” I hear my mom say, snapping me out of my mind. I jump. How long has she been saying my name?

  “Yes.” I snap my neck around to her.

  “Come look at the menu, the waitress keeps coming over here wanting to take your order.” She smiles at the men. “It’s so busy, I’m sure they want to get us in and out.” Oh my god, thank you. I nearly sprint to my mother’s side. “What the hell is going on?” She mumbles.

  “I’m laying Malcolm?” I mumble.

  “What?” She doesn’t hear me.

  “I’m screwing Malcolm.”

  “Oh shit.”

  “Yes, I know.” My hands are shaking.

  “Well calm down.” My mother hisses. Listen, I can’t afford for Jon to find this out. We’re getting divorced, I don’t need any problems when it comes to Nicky. I take a deep breath.

  “Hey Red,” Cadence says, “Come here for a second. I absolutely love that necklace you’re wearing.” My eyes shoot darts at Cadence who has a glint of humor in his eyes. I look at Malcolm and he’s running a hand over his face. Get your fucking brother! I throw a smile on my face and walk to the men again. “Yeah I was just telling Jon that I love that.” He points to my necklace. “I asked him where he bought it from and he said he didn’t buy it.” I touch the charm.