John's Quest (Truly Yours Digital Editions)

by Cecelia Dowdy

  John closed his eyes, letting the pastor’s words sink into him. Pastor Martin took John’s hand, and after he said a prayer, John whispered, “Amen.”

  A few days after his meeting with Pastor Martin, John stood on the frigid, deserted beach. He placed his hands in his pockets as he watched the angry waves tumble onto the brown, grainy sand. God, are You trying to tell me that You’re real? As he continued to stare at nature, he recalled what he’d read in the book of Genesis. God had created all things, the birds of the sky and the creeping things and the creatures of the ocean. John sniffed the ocean-scented air as feelings of warmth and peace settled upon him.

  There was no way this earth just happened to appear due to chance. God created it. As scientific theories about earth’s creation, like the big bang theory, fluttered through his mind, he pushed the thoughts aside, instead focusing on God. Lord, thank You for creating this earth. Thank You for creating me, thank You for giving Your Son for our sins. I accept You, dear Lord, I accept You as my Savior. Amen. John wiped the tears from his cheeks as he continued to stare at the beach.

  ❧

  During the last few weeks since her accidental meeting with Kevin, thoughts of John had swirled through Monica’s brain as she worked at the office. She’d focused on how hard it had been lately. All she’d wanted was to spend time with John again.

  She prayed as she went through her day, asking God’s help in making her strong enough to accept whatever happened with Gina and with John.

  As the days passed, she had become aware of the holiday lights and festive decorations in the malls and on the city streets. Monica, Anna, Karen, and Scotty had even taken time out of their busy holiday schedules to attend the annual Ocean City Carolfest at the Music Pier. Before the free concert started, they’d placed their donated canned goods into the collection boxes for the needy.

  When the concert started, Monica had swayed to the music, holding Scotty’s hand. Just hearing the sweet Christmas carols warmed her heart. They’d also gone to Ocean City’s Winterfest of Lights on another evening. After riding the tram and seeing the beautifully lit displays, they’d stopped for hot chocolate and Scotty had gotten to meet Santa. When Scotty begged to see Santa again, she’d taken him to the Music Pier another cold, blustery night so he could get his picture taken with Santa Claus in a lifeguard boat, as a gift for Gina.

  She’d found comfort in prayer and her daily devotions, and she still prayed that Gina was okay and that she would continue to stay with their parents until she got her life back on track. So far, she’d not made any more threats to take Scotty away, and for that, Monica was grateful.

  The holiday season was now in full bloom. However, since she’d not been dating John, sadness had hovered around her in spite of her moments of joy.

  She missed John like crazy! When he came to tutor Scotty, she’d let Scotty answer the door, and then she’d scamper upstairs. She was a coward, but when she saw his dark brown eyes and heard his deep voice, her insides turned to mush, and she knew she would be in his arms at a moment’s notice. She found it easier to ignore the attraction when she was around him for only a few minutes at a time. It had gotten so bad that she’d even dreamed about him. She almost wished she’d never met him so she wouldn’t be going through this emotional turmoil.

  Days later, she gazed around her living room, enjoying the Christmas tree she and Scotty had decorated together. She’d decided to get a real pine tree instead of using her artificial one this year so Scotty could enjoy the scent.

  Since Scotty had gone to bed, she decided to wrap his gifts. She scanned the packages, hoping she had not forgotten anything. The little guy had had a difficult year. She hoped she could make up for it, just a little bit, by indulging him with an abundant number of gifts.

  Her gift wrapping was interrupted by a knock on her door. Figuring it was Anna or Karen, she rushed to answer, craving some adult company. She gasped when she saw John on her doorstep, carrying two large wrapped packages. His dark eyes seemed to plead with her. “Hello, Monica.”

  She swallowed, wondering if this visit was a good idea. “John.”

  “Don’t say anything, just let me come in and talk to you. Please. Don’t run and hide upstairs like you’ve been doing for the last few weeks.”

  She nodded, her heart pounding as he came into her home and placed the presents under the tree. The Christmas lights twinkled in the semidarkness. “That’s a pretty tree,” he said, removing his coat and sitting on the couch.

  She sat beside him. “I got it for Scotty. I know he enjoys the pine scent.”

  He noticed the presents scattered on the floor and chuckled. “Looks like your nephew hit the jackpot.”

  “He’s had a rough year, so I thought I’d make sure he had a good Christmas.”

  He took her hand. “Why did you come by tonight? Just to bring presents for Scotty?”

  “No, the presents are not just for Scotty. One of them is for you.”

  She looked at the tree, embarrassed. “But I didn’t buy anything for you. . . .”

  He chuckled, squeezing her hand. “The best present you could give me is your company again.”

  She shook her head. “John—”

  He pressed his finger to her lips. “Please, let me finish.” He glanced around the living room, as if gathering courage to continue. “As you know, there’re only a few more weeks for that class I’m taking at your church.”

  She nodded. “I realize that.” She’d been counting the weeks of the class, paying attention to the lesson plans on the bulletin board, wondering which lesson and which words would sway John to finally accept Jesus.

  “Well, I just want you to be the first to know that I’ve finally accepted Jesus.”

  Her mouth dropped open, and she couldn’t find words to express her joy. He smiled. “It happened a few nights ago. I’ve kept it to myself, but the Christmas Eve service is only about a week away. That’s when I was going to go forward at the altar call and tell the pastor about my new vow to accept Jesus into my heart.” He paused and before she could speak, he continued. “A woman named Marilyn Tyndall called me the other night.”

  Monica furrowed her brow, confused. “Who is Marilyn Tyndall?”

  “She was a good friend of my mother’s,” he explained. “She knew my parents when they were first saved, and she was a mentor to my mother.” Monica wondered where this was leading. “Anyway, she found my phone number on a piece of paper in my mother’s Bible. She also found a letter that my mother had written to me and had never gotten a chance to mail.”

  “What did the letter say?”

  He was silent, and she wondered what he was thinking. “She apologized for raising me as an agnostic, and she was telling me to give Christianity a chance.” He went on to explain that she gave him a few scriptures to look up, including Jeremiah 29:13. He told her of his conversation with Pastor Martin, and his constant thoughts and comments to God. “I found myself talking to God and praying regularly. It was so gradual over the last month, my thinking about God. But when I started praying and talking to Him all the time, it occurred to me that God is real and He hears me.” He squeezed her hand. “He hears me, Monica, and you just don’t know how good it feels to know that I’m no longer in disbelief and I’ve accepted Him as my Savior!”

  “Oh, John, that’s so wonderful!” she gushed, barely able to contain her joy. “I’m so glad you told me.” She gave him a tight hug.

  He cleared his throat as she released him. “I just want you to keep this to yourself for now. I want the other people in the congregation to know when I step forward on Christmas Eve.” He took her hands. “Are you planning to go to your parents’ on Christmas Eve?”

  She shook her head. “I was going to go there on Christmas Day after Scotty opens his gifts. He wants to spend his holiday with his mother, so I was go
ing to let him stay at my parents’ house during his Christmas break.”

  “So will you be here for the church’s Christmas Eve service?”

  Her stomach tumbled with anticipation. “Of course I’ll be there.”

  “Are you off next week?” he asked.

  “No, I took the week between Christmas and New Year’s off.”

  “Well, you know the college is closed for their holiday break. So since Scotty will be gone for the week, I figured we could spend some time together. That is, if it’s okay with you.”

  “I wouldn’t mind at all.” Thoughts of spending the holidays with John—seeing Christmas lights, drinking hot cider, gazing at her Christmas tree together—gave her a warm bubbly feeling in her stomach. “I think it’s a perfect idea.”

  He pulled her into his arms. “Okay, it’s a deal then?” he whispered in her ear before they kissed.

  When she pulled away, she felt breathless. “John, you have yourself a deal.”

  ❧

  As Christmas Eve drew closer, Monica’s health began failing. Scotty ran around the house excited about Christmas, and she could barely stand the noise. The church had their annual Christmas cantata, and Scotty participated with the rest of his Sunday school class. During the performance, she could barely enjoy the music her head hurt so much. When she went to work the following day, she had to leave early because she was sick. She felt hot and then cold before she broke out in a sweat.

  She begged Anna to pick up Scotty. She had enrolled him in a child care center for a few days since he was out of school and her vacation from work had not started. She also asked Anna to get some medicine at the drugstore. John called several times, and Monica told him she’d caught the flu and didn’t know when she would recuperate.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Did you need me to bring you anything?”

  She told him no, but she wanted to be at that church when John made his public proclamation to God. “I’ll try and come to the service tomorrow night.”

  “No, don’t do that! We can celebrate over the holidays. If you don’t feel up to it, I’ll just come and sit by your side until I know you’re feeling better.”

  In spite of her illness, his words warmed her heart. She hung up the phone and snuggled beneath her blankets. She heard Karen’s and Anna’s voices in the kitchen as they made spaghetti for dinner. She was thankful that her best friends had been over frequently, taking care of Scotty while she was ill. Her parents had already called and said they’d pick him up on Christmas Day so he could spend his winter break with Gina.

  On Christmas Day, Scotty’s shrieks resonated throughout the house. Anna spent the night to help out, and Monica heard Anna join Scotty under the tree, helping him with his new toys. Monica swallowed. Her throat was still sore, and her body ached. When she came downstairs, she was surprised to see Karen. “What are you doing out of bed?” Both of them admonished her as she stood on the steps, watching her nephew open his gifts.

  “I wanted to see Scotty open his presents.” His euphoric mood made her shopping spree worth it.

  She returned to bed after the gifts were opened. When she awoke hours later, the sun was no longer shining and her room was semidark. She attempted to sit up, and John came into the room. “You’re awake!”

  As he approached, she took his hand. She glanced at the clock and noted it was midafternoon. “It sure is dark outside.”

  “The weatherman is calling for snow.”

  He helped her sit up. The enticing aroma of chicken soup wafted through the house, and for the first time in days, her stomach growled. “That smells good.”

  John chuckled as he went to her door. “That’s some chicken soup. I made it myself.”

  She swung her legs to the side of the bed. “I’ll come down and eat some.”

  “No! Don’t come down to the kitchen. I’ll bring up your lunch on a tray. Your parents stopped by hours ago to get Scotty, and they didn’t want to wake you. They left some Christmas dinner for us if you want to eat it later or maybe tomorrow.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t want my mom’s Christmas dinner now. I want some of your soup.”

  “Well, you stay put, and I’ll bring you a tray.” He left the room. Soon he returned carrying a wooden tray with a bowl of chicken soup, a plate of crackers, a glass of orange juice, and a red rose in a vase. “Oh, this is so sweet.” She patted her hair, hoping she wasn’t scaring him away with her hideous appearance. The hot soup tasted good going down her sore throat, and she ate the whole bowlful. When she finished, he asked her if she wanted more, but she declined. He set the vase on her dresser and took her dishes to the kitchen. He came back with the package he’d left for her days ago under her Christmas tree.

  He gave her the gift. “Merry Christmas.”

  Smiling, she touched the box. “I feel so bad. I didn’t get you a gift.”

  He placed his finger over her lips. “Don’t worry. I accept gifts all year round. It doesn’t have to be on Christmas.”

  No longer able to hide her curiosity, she ripped the paper open and found a large white box. When she lifted the lid, she saw an exquisite cherry red sweater. She fingered the garment, and the knitted material was as soft as a cotton ball. She held it to her face, relishing the texture. “This is lovely!”

  “When I saw it at the store, I knew it would be perfect for you. That red color looks good against your brown skin.”

  She continued to finger the garment. “It sure does. I’m glad you bought it for me. I can’t wait to wear it.”

  He sat in the empty chair beside her bed. “Maybe you can wear it over the holidays. If you’re feeling better over the next week, we might be able to spend some time together.”

  She put the sweater aside and took his hand. “I’m looking forward to that. I really am.” Thoughts of how she had acted filtered through her mind.

  “Uh-oh. What’s wrong?”

  “I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted in the church parking lot a few weeks ago. That was insensitive of me.”

  “Don’t say anything else about it. You were just trying to avoid getting hurt, and you were following your beliefs. There’s nothing wrong with what you did.” He looked into her eyes. “You did hurt my feelings. But I know it wasn’t intentional.”

  “To be honest with you, I hated doing it. My feelings for you didn’t go away.”

  “Mine didn’t go away either. As a matter of fact, my feelings for you have grown deeper.” He caressed her fingers.

  Warmth and compassion flowed through her, making her feel loved and wanted. Being around John was making her crazy. When he released her hand she got out of bed, opening the yellow curtain behind her. “It’s snowing! Look!”

  He stood behind her, gazing at the white flakes as they floated from the sky. “Looks like we’re having a white Christmas,” he murmured, pulling her into his arms.

  “It looks like we’re having a wonderful Christmas.” As she spoke, her voice faltered with the enjoyment of being held by him, and she watched the falling flakes of snow.

  ❧

  Monica couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such a joyous Christmas away from her family. Her sore throat and stuffy nose put a slight damper on the day. However, when John showed her his loving-kindness, her illness melted away like ice during a spring thaw.

  They continued to enjoy his tasty soup for the rest of the day. John lit a fire in the fireplace, and she turned on the stereo. Christmas carols boomed from the speakers, and when her favorite tune, “Silent Night,” was playing, John took her into his arms and held her as they softly sang the lyrics together. Monica’s voice croaked, and she thought she sounded horrible, but John’s voice was smooth and mellow, blending nicely with the music. “You know, you’ve got a great voice,” she declared when the song was over
.

  He chuckled, continuing to cradle her in his arms. “You’re not the first person to tell me that.”

  “Since you’re a member of the church now, perhaps you should get involved with one of the ministries,” she suggested.

  He ran his fingers over her cheek. Her insides quivered like jelly, and she had to force herself to pay attention to the conversation at hand. Then he raised his thick eyebrows. “What do you suggest?”

  She giggled, thoroughly enjoying their time together. “I’m suggesting you try out for the choir. They sound good now, but I think they’d sound even better if you were up there with them.”

  He nodded at her suggestion. “I might do that. There’re so many things I want to do now that I’m a Christian. I feel like I’ve wasted my whole life, and I’m ready to start anew.”

  She picked up on the eager tone in his voice and encouraged him to continue. “What kinds of things?”

  He hesitated and looked away. She sensed he was hiding something, but she didn’t want to pry too much since he was a new Christian and was still searching for ways to serve the Lord. “I’ve been thinking about various things. My mind isn’t made up yet, but when it is, you’ll be the first to know.”

  She nodded, still pleased he was so eager to serve the Lord. “You should speak to the pastor about that. We even have an awesome men’s ministry that meets on Thursday nights, and we have several Bible studies.”

  They stared at the orange flames crackling from the warm fire. The curtains were open, and they watched the snowflakes as they continued to drift from the sky, creating an undisturbed blanket of whiteness around them.

  Around six o’clock, Monica took a nap. When she awoke a couple hours later, she saw that the snow had stopped. She crept into the living room and found John sitting on the chair near the extinguished fire, reading his Bible. He looked so handsome reading God’s Word that she could just stand there and watch him forever. “Hey, handsome,” she crooned.