John's Quest (Truly Yours Digital Editions)

by Cecelia Dowdy

  He closed his black book. “Did you have a good nap?”

  “I sure did.” She pointed to the window. “Looks like you’ll have to stay here. We’re snowed in.”

  He shook his head. “I just heard the news on the radio. The back roads are bad, but the main ones aren’t too bad. I’m going to shovel your driveway and go home.”

  Her heart skipped a beat, and she wished he didn’t have to leave. “Are you sure? The weather looks pretty terrible.”

  “Even though you’re sick, you still look beautiful to me. I’ll be honest and say that I don’t trust myself to stay all night in this house with you.”

  She widened her eyes, surprised at his boldness.

  “I’m a new Christian, and I’m still learning a lot, but I am familiar with what the Lord thinks about premarital sex.”

  She was touched he was taking his Christian vows so seriously. “Are you sure you won’t get stuck out there?”

  He put his Bible aside and walked to where she still stood on the stairwell. “No, I’ll be okay. I’ve got some good snow tires on my car, and I’ll be sure to call you when I get home.” He checked his watch. “It’s almost ten o’clock, so I’ll just borrow your snow shovel and clear out your driveway. Then I’ll be on my way.”

  “Okay.” She was still reluctant to let him go but knew it was best under the circumstances. She walked down the steps toward him, and he pulled her into his arms. He kissed her, and she found warmth and comfort from his strong embrace.

  He cradled her face between his hands. “There’s an indoor ice skating rink not too far from here. Maybe we can go there for a while this week sometime. I don’t want you out on that ice this soon after you’ve been sick, but if you’re feeling better, we can also go to this neat café called Tea by the Sea. They serve great scones. We can go there and relax while we enjoy a hot cup of tea.”

  She nodded. “Yes, that sounds like a good idea.”

  He gathered his coat and gloves and found her snow shovel in the basement. He then headed outside. She turned on the outside light and watched him for several minutes as he shoveled the snow. After the driveway was cleared, John came into her house and placed her shovel back in the basement. He kissed her cheek and said good-bye before he took his exit.

  During the next few days, Monica grew stronger as her flu vanished. John called often and came by to see her. She even convinced him she was well enough to go out on the boardwalk to see Ocean City’s Winterfest of Lights. Although she had already seen the display earlier that season, she longed to see it again with John. The seashore was illuminated with close to a million Christmas lights. Many pedestrians were bedazzled by the beautiful display, and Monica’s heart leaped with joy since she was able to see such an exquisite sight with John by her side. They also went to the indoor ice-skating rink another day, and Monica enjoyed the lemon-flavored tea and cinnamon scones at Tea by the Sea.

  She found the energy to clean her house, and she missed Scotty. She wondered if he was enjoying his Christmas presents, so she called her parents and was glad to hear her mother answer the phone. “Hey, Monica!”

  “I’m surprised you haven’t called me, Mom,” she complained. “You know I’ve been sick.”

  Her mother laughed. “We didn’t want to bother you since we knew you were spending some quality time with John. You know, your father and I were just talking about how nice it is that he’s found the Lord. That’s truly a miracle.”

  Her heart felt warmed by her mother’s sincere words. “I feel the same way. You know, Mom, my prayers for John’s salvation have been answered. I’ve been praying about this since I first found out about his agnostic views, and I’m just glad that John has accepted Christ as his Savior.”

  “Speaking of accepting Christ—” Her mother was interrupted by Scotty’s eager voice.

  “Is that Aunt Monica on the phone?”

  She was thrilled to hear her nephew when her mother handed him the phone. “Hi, Aunt Monica!” He sounded like he was out of breath.

  “Have you been running?”

  “Yeah! My mom and me made a snowman!”

  She clutched the receiver, having a hard time picturing Gina in the snow building a snowman with her son. “That’s nice. Did you have a good time?”

  “Yeah! We had a carrot for the nose, and we used rocks for the eyes! My mom said it looked like a funny snowman.” He chuckled, his voice filled with glee.

  She was glad to hear the enthusiasm in his voice; however, she had a twinge of doubt niggling in the back of her mind. Was Gina planning on being a good mother from now on? Did she still want to take Scotty away and keep him permanently? Could Monica stand not having Scotty with her anymore if Gina did decide she wanted to be a parent again? All of these questions swirled through her mind like scattered snowflakes on the wind. She barely paid attention to Scotty’s incessant chatter as she wondered what would happen to him now that Gina continued to form a bond with her son.

  Her mind wandered so much that she barely noticed when her mother was back on the phone. “Monica, I’ve been speaking for the last two minutes, and you haven’t said a word. What’s wrong?”

  “Mom, what’s going to happen to Scotty now that Gina is back? Is she going to take him away again and disappear?”

  Her mother’s voice was tinged with excitement as she relayed her news. “Well, I wanted to tell you something about Gina. You’ll never guess what I saw her doing today.” Intrigued, she clutched the receiver, awaiting her mother’s next words. “I saw her reading her Bible.”

  Shock coursed through Monica’s veins when she heard the news. “You’re kidding. Are you sure you’re not mistaken?”

  “No, not about this. She doesn’t realize I saw her, so I haven’t mentioned it to her. I’m going to leave her alone about it now. I think she’s working through some things, and I honestly think she’s sorry for abandoning Scotty.”

  Monica sat down in the kitchen chair, still stunned by this news. When she’d accepted Christ as a young teenager, Gina was only a toddler. However, when Gina got older, her interest in church and the Bible never developed. She never participated in the youth fellowship groups as Monica had and instead remained mixed up in the wrong crowd. She had shunned the Bible and God, drowning her pain with drugs and alcohol. The first time she came home intoxicated, she’d been only fifteen years old. Monica remembered her mother had called, frantic about Gina’s rebellious behavior. Since Monica was no longer living at home at the time, she didn’t have to witness Gina’s antics firsthand; however, she did recall her mother always saying she didn’t understand how two women could turn out so differently after being raised in the same house.

  She barely remembered saying good-bye to her mother as she hung up the phone. She pressed her hands together, bowed her head, and prayed for Gina, hoping she was on her way to having a permanent relationship with Jesus.

  Ten

  During the next few weeks, Monica kept her sister in mind, saying prayers daily for her salvation. On Sunday she stayed after the church service, along with the rest of the congregation, to celebrate with the new members. It was New Member Day, and John had been one of the new members to be welcomed into the congregation.

  Afterward everybody celebrated in the large mess hall in the church basement. Scotty scampered about with other children, playing games. The scent of roasted pork and barbecued beef warmed the air, and platters of fruits, vegetables, and chips adorned the serving tables. After Scotty was fed, Monica made a plate and searched for John so they could sit together. Dejection spread through her when she spotted him sitting at a table with some of the members of the men’s choir. The four people he sat with were single, and he’d been spending a lot of time with them lately. He’d told her one night after Scotty’s tutoring session that they talked a lot about the Bible, and he said he’d been learn
ing a lot from them.

  She continued glancing around the room until she saw Anna and Karen sitting at a table in the corner. She made her way over with her plate of food. “Hi.” She sat down, still wishing she could sit with John.

  Karen arched her eyebrow, giving her a sly look. “You’re not eating with John?”

  She shrugged as she bit into her pork sandwich. It was delicious. She enjoyed her food for a while before responding to Karen’s comment. “You see him sitting over there with the choir. I didn’t just want to go over there and interrupt.”

  Anna folded her arms in front of her chest. “Why not? He’s your man, isn’t he?”

  She huffed, still trying to enjoy her food. “Just leave the whole subject alone, okay?”

  Karen leaned back into her seat, observing her friend. “My, my, aren’t you snappy today! I’d think you’d be in a good mood since John has accepted Christ.”

  Monica put her fork aside, not sure of how to tell her friends things weren’t progressing between her and John as smoothly as she liked. She pushed her plate of half-eaten food away, suddenly changing her mind and deciding to reveal her doubts to them. “I’ve barely spent any time with him since Christmas.”

  Anna widened her dark brown eyes. “You’re kidding. None at all?”

  She shrugged. “Not really. We had such a romantic Christmas holiday. He told me a while back that he was falling in love with me.”

  Karen leaned closer. “Are you sure he said that?”

  “Of course I’m sure,” she stated, surprised Karen would think she would make something like that up.

  “Did you tell him you loved him?” asked Anna.

  She shook her head. “No, I didn’t. Well, not really anyway. I told him that I shared the same feelings he had for me just before I told him we shouldn’t spend any more spare time together right after Thanksgiving.”

  “Monica!” said Karen. “You’ve admitted to him that you’re falling in love with him right before your breakup? You need to tell him how you feel now! He’s worked through his issues with God, and now it’s time to get your relationship with John back on track!”

  “I thought it was too soon to tell him my true feelings. I wanted to see if things would work out between us.”

  “And?” Anna prompted.

  She shook her head. “They’re not working out at all. At least not for me. You’d think I’d be happy he’s now a Christian, but you know, I’m jealous of the time he spends with God.”

  “Monica!” Karen grabbed her arm.

  “He comes to tutor Scotty, but he doesn’t eat dinner with us anymore. He spends time with the new friends he’s made in the choir, plus he spends so much time reading the Bible, soaking up knowledge. We haven’t spent any time together since Christmas, and I’m starting to wonder if I imagined the joy I felt during the holidays.”

  Anna voiced a question. “Have you talked to him about it?”

  She shook her head. “How can I say I’m jealous of the time he’s spending with God and the church when I was the one who spouted how important it was for him to become a Christian?”

  Karen nodded. “That would sound a little weird. Why don’t you ask him out? Maybe he needs to be reminded that you care about him.”

  She recalled the present he gave her for Christmas. “He gave me the most beautiful sweater for Christmas, but I didn’t get anything for him. Maybe if I get him a thoughtful gift, he’ll be reminded of my existence.”

  Anna shook her head. “It’s a shame you sound so dismal. If the man says he’s falling in love with you, then he’s falling in love with you. Stop griping and just cherish the time you do get to spend with him. He’s a new Christian, so he’s probably zealous and eager. His getting closer to God is more important than getting closer to you.”

  Monica pulled her plate toward her, deciding to finish her meal after all. Anna’s words were full of truth. She was going to go ahead and buy a special gift for John, but she wouldn’t mention how disheartened she’d felt about his recent absence from her life. She glanced at the men’s choir table. John was laughing heartily, enjoying the fellowship with his new Christian friends. He looked so handsome that it was hard not to stare. His dark suit fit his trim body nicely, and she wished they could have shared their meal together. She hoped things would work out between them.

  ❧

  Later that day John clutched the bouquet of fragrant roses, hesitating before he knocked on Monica’s door. Earlier when he’d sat with his new friends from the men’s choir, he’d seen her look of disappointment after she’d gotten her plate of food. He’d been tempted to abandon his friends and go and sit with her after all. He’d glanced in her direction several times as she ate with Anna and Karen, and he could sense she was unhappy.

  He hesitated, gripping the flowers in his hand. He’d found a new happiness upon accepting Christ. There was something he needed to do, and so far he had not discussed this matter with anybody, except for Jesus. Monica wasn’t going to like what he had to tell her tonight, but hopefully she would understand.

  He finally found the courage to knock on her door. Her dark brown eyes widened when she opened it. “John!”

  He entered her house, kissing her cheek. As he handed her the bouquet of roses, he glanced around the silent house. “Where’s Scotty?”

  He followed her as she made her way to the kitchen and filled a vase with water. “He’s spending the night with Anna. She promised they could make pizza and have popcorn afterward. She’s even going to drop him off at school in the morning.”

  He watched the clear water tumble into the glass vase. “That was nice of her.”

  “Yeah, wasn’t it?” She placed the vase on the kitchen table and removed the tissue paper from the fragrant buds before cutting the ends and placing the stems into the water. “Thanks for the flowers.” An awkward silence followed, and he still didn’t know how to tell her his news.

  “Remember I once told you how pretty it is walking on the boardwalk at the beach in the wintertime?”

  “Yes, I remember.”

  “Since Scotty’s not here, how about we go for a walk?”

  “But it’s cold outside.”

  He chuckled, pulling her into his arms. “So? Just bundle up. Plus I’ll be around to snuggle with to keep you warm.”

  Her dark eyes twinkled with pleasure. “Okay. Just give me a few minutes to get ready.” He waited in the living room while she went upstairs. She returned wearing boots, corduroy pants, and an oversized gray sweatshirt. She opened the closet and removed a puffy black coat and a knitted hat. He helped her put her coat on. She pulled the hat on her head. “I should be warm enough with all of this on.”

  “You’ll be fine.” Their breath came out in frosty puffs as they walked to his car. Minutes later, he pulled into a parking space near the deserted Ocean City boardwalk. Lights illuminated the stark area as a few pedestrians walked their pets. The black sky was littered with tiny silver stars, and the moon was a full white orb. He blinked again, amazed how God created the heavens and the earth. Since his salvation, his whole outlook about the earth and the people on it had changed dramatically.

  He held her gloved hand as they walked. A few restaurants were open, but most of the businesses were closed. He stopped under a bright streetlight, inviting her to sit with him on a bench. They silently watched the foamy waves crash on the deserted beach. He was still trying to decide which words he should use when he told her his news. He was silent for so long that she finally squeezed his arm. “John, what’s wrong?”

  The question hung in the frigid air between them, unanswered. “Why do you think something is wrong?”

  She shrugged beneath her thick coat. “It’s just a feeling I have. Things have been different between us since Christmas.”

  He still didn’t
answer her as he removed her glove and held her bare hand in his, kissing her fingers. Her dark eyes were laced with questions and doubts. “I really do love you, Monica.”

  She remained silent as he continued to hold her hand, massaging her palm. “Are you cold?”

  She shook her head, her dark eyes full of fear. She tried to pull her hand away, but he kept it firmly in his grip. “I’m almost sure you’re about to tell me some bad news. I can sense it,” she said.

  Monica turned away, but he took her chin in his fingers and urged her to look into his eyes. He leaned toward her and kissed her on the mouth. When the kiss finally ended, he found his heart was pounding. “That was an amazing kiss,” he murmured.

  She looked toward the foamy water before focusing on him again. Her dark eyes glistened with unshed tears, but she quickly blinked them away. “You want to end our relationship.” Her voice took on a hard edge as she scooted away from him on the bench. He continued to clutch her hand as he massaged her fingers.

  “No.”

  Her eyes widened. “No?”

  “No, I don’t want to end our relationship. I’d like for us to keep seeing each other.”

  “But. . .I thought you had something negative to tell me tonight. I can tell when something is bothering you.”

  He leaned back on the wooden bench. “You’re right, something is bothering me.”

  He again sensed her shiver beneath her thick coat. “Are you sure you’re not cold?”

  Before she could respond, he helped her up from the bench. “Let’s go to the OC Daily Grind and get something to drink. It hasn’t been too long since you were sick. And I don’t want to be responsible for your getting ill again by being out in this cold air. Let’s stop for a cup of hot chocolate, and I’ll tell you what’s on my mind.”

  As they walked toward the establishment hand in hand, the night lost its beauty. The twinkling stars no longer seemed romantic, and the sound of the rushing water no longer enticed him. Monica’s sadness surrounded them like a hot, thick blanket, suffocating their happiness.