Shalia's Diary # 6

by Tracy St. John

  Betra said, “Fuck no.” At the same time, I said, “Everything is fine.”

  This time I could feel a separateness there, a slight difference between my real thoughts and the other ones that shouldn’t belong to me. My mouth opened to scream for help.

  Oses spoke first as Betra climbed to his feet. “Shalia, you were seen leaving the shuttle bay several minutes before the doors opened. What were you doing in there?”

  There was no time to explain, not when I could attack my lover and be forced to lie without warning. “Get me to Medical now,” I said. “Use hover cuffs if you have to—”

  My throat and mouth froze. Anger was building again, the same anger that had led to me shoving Betra to the floor. My fists clenched.

  Oses saw the motion, his gaze dropping to my left hand. His eyes widened for an instant before he moved in a blur.

  He grabbed my arm, lifting it. My sleeve had torn, showing a hint of gray and green beneath the fabric. Oses tore the sleeve off.

  From the wrist to just past my elbow, my arm was encased in bony armor and green tube-like veins. I swear as God is my witness, I do not know when it happened. It might have been days that the exoskeleton had been knitting itself over my flesh ... and I had never noticed.

  The otherness in my head dissipated, becoming one with me. For a few moments, there was no more Shalia Monroe. There was only the It, and it was furious to have been discovered too early.

  Rapid-fire tactics flew through my head, faster than any thought I’d ever experienced before. Strengths of Kalquorians, the assessment of the pair before me, my options of fight and flight – it ran through my shared brain in less than a second. I recognized that I was not up to full strength and could not hope to fight to victory. Flight seemed the best plan now, flight and going into hiding. First I would have to get past the two enemies to gain the door and the corridor beyond. They were still surprised. It gave me a precious moment to hurt them badly enough to keep them from being able to follow or raise an alarm.

  A small part of me had remained separate after all, it seemed. At the idea of harming my lovers – and seeing into that other’s plans and how devastating its attack could be to them – I re-surfaced and snagged tenuous control over myself.

  “Cuff me now!” I screamed at Oses. “It’s going to use me to hurt you!”

  Bless that big wonderful brute, he didn’t hesitate for an instant. Even as I screamed with the rage of the It, Oses was already behind me, snapping cuffs on my wrists at the small of my back. He swept my feet out from under me, catching me before I could fall and be hurt. He lowered me facedown onto the soft carpet.

  The Its consciousness vanished all at once. I was fully myself again, sobbing in terror of what I’d become.

  “The baby,” I cried, my greatest fear rising to the surface. “What is this thing doing to my child?”

  “We nuh-nuh-need to get her to Meh-Meh-Medical now,” Betra said, his hitching words telling me he was weeping as well.

  “I’ll carry her,” Oses said, his hands busy with tying my legs together with what I later discovered to be my bathrobe’s sash. He’d gone into my room for it and returned without me even realizing he’d moved. “Let Tep know I’m on the way, but first com Security and tell them to get a guard detachment with me.”

  “Oses, this is Shalia!”

  “Not all of her is Shalia. Not any longer.” Oses swung me into his arms, cradling me gently against his chest. “Get me that security detail, Betra. Tell them I’m taking the most direct route to Medical.”

  With that, he left my quarters at a run. I shut my eyes against the blur of our surroundings and prayed for salvation.

  By the time Oses got me to Medical, we had a security detail of six Nobeks surrounding us. We burst into Tep’s department like I was dying with only seconds left to be saved.

  It felt that way.

  The doctor wasted no time. “Put her on the table for a full scan,” he ordered Oses.

  Oses had to remove the cuffs that held my wrists prisoner behind my back to lay me down. He bared fangs at the security officers around us: they had drawn their blasters. I for one welcomed the show of force. There wasn’t the slightest peep from the It that had invaded my body. I thought perhaps it knew it was in danger and that kept it quiet.

  Though Oses was clearly unhappy to have me under armed siege, he didn’t say anything to object. It was pretty obvious that I was behind the shuttle bay incident. Under the It’s control, I could be very dangerous to this ship and crew.

  “Computer, place patient in stasis from the neck down,” Tep said as soon as I was in position.

  Good, I couldn’t move. Oses snarled at the others, “She’s secured. Put the blasters away.”

  I’m sure they could have challenged him since he was on leave, but no one did. Oses was held in high esteem apparently, no matter what his current status was. They immediately holstered their weapons.

  Tep muttered and scowled at whatever the scan showed him. “All right, all right,” he said. “She’s certainly infected with the same organism as Matara Candy, but nowhere as much. It’s barely left the arm. One feeder vein in her chest, two in her brain. There seems to be something else here though, something on her wrist...”

  Betra’s voice informed me that he’d arrived. “It looks like that cuff Candy got her for her birthday. The armor is growing right over it.”

  Tep tapped like the world’s fastest typist on his computer station’s keyboard. I’ve never seen fingers fly so fast. “Actually, it’s growing from the bracelet. There is no separation between it and where the armor connects to it. Did Matara Candy have one of these pieces?”

  I stared at the ceiling overhead. “Yes, an exact duplicate. She bought it from a vendor on Darotkin.”

  “How long have you been wearing it, Shalia?”

  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d put the thing on. I searched my memory, but all I could come up with was the night of the special dinner with Betra and Oses. I’d worn the bracelet and the pretty blouse Katrina had bought me. The one that matched the dress she’d bought for my unborn daughter.

  I swallowed. Tep had said the It was only in my arm, chest, and brain. It hadn’t gotten to my baby yet.

  “I don’t know for sure the last time I put it on. The latest I remember wearing it was eight days ago. I don’t remember ever taking it off after that.” I looked at Oses, pleading with my gaze for him to believe the next thing I said. “I don’t remember going into the shuttle bay today either. One moment I was in my quarters, and the next I was in the bulkhead where we found Candy. The computer there was counting something down, but I didn’t know what. It must have set off the bay doors opening.” My voice ended in a little sob. Men had died because of me.

  “Easy, pet,” Oses murmured. He stroked my hair, his fierce face trying its damnedest to be comforting.

  Tep’s frown deepened, putting big furrows in his face. “Candy came into possession of these cuffs during shore leave. That was ten days ago. Did she start wearing hers immediately?”

  I remembered her sliding it on right after giving me my birthday present. “Yes.”

  “I’m going to operate on the theory that the organisms affected you both in the capacity of memory. You wouldn’t realize you were still wearing the pieces once they had the chance to infiltrate your bodies. I’m betting it sends one of those veins ... or whatever the green tubes are ... straight to the brain as quickly as possible.” The doctor paced, considering. “Only two days’ difference between the times you put them on and forgot you were wearing them. And yet the organism has spread so much farther in Candy than in you. Why is that?”

  I interrupted his worrying. “Are you going to put me in full stasis too?”

  Tep shook his head. “I’d like to run tests first. I want to know if there is something in your genetic makeup that is fighting this organism. If we can figure out why it is invading you more slowly, that could be the answer to saving Candy and yo
u from being overcome.”

  I wanted Candy to be okay. I wanted me to be okay. But someone else was my overriding priority. “What about the baby? You can’t let this thing get to my child.”

  Tep paused for only a moment. “Right now, it is nowhere near the fetus. I can’t let this opportunity to study it pass, Shalia. However, I promise that the instant I detect any of these veins heading in the baby’s direction, I will put you in stasis.”

  “The thing is still taking Candy over even though she is in stasis,” I pointed out. “Can you take the baby if you have to?”

  Tep wrung his hands. “At this stage, that would be dangerous. A few more weeks and she will be at a stage of development that will give her a better chance of survival. If we can’t—” he paused.

  “If you can’t stop the organism from advancing,” I supplied, grimly stating what he didn’t want to.

  Tep nodded. “If it comes to that, I will deliver the baby. We’ll do all we can to ensure her well-being.”

  I said, “Even if it means you have to give up on me.”

  Betra’s sharp intake of breath came at the same time that Tep’s brows shot up. “I am in no way saying it will come to that,” the doctor insisted.

  “It could,” I grated between clenched teeth. “Let me tell you why.”

  I reported my dream then, making sure they knew the first dream of being an armed killer among many others had occurred well before seeing the armor on Candy. I didn’t want them to take the insight lightly. I ended with, “I think the nightmares were the It’s memory of an earlier time. With it connected to my brain, I believe I am seeing some of what it’s done in the past.”

  “The It?” Tep asked.

  “That’s what I’ve been calling this thing. It was made to kill. It has no conscience. It takes pleasure in destroying.” I swallowed a surge of nausea, remembering that heady thrill of power that had accompanied my bloodsoaked dreams. “It cannot be stopped once it’s in full control. I don’t think I can make that clear enough to you. It will not think twice about killing all of you.”

  Between clenched teeth I finished by telling Tep, “If you have to, take the baby and destroy both me and the It. You cannot let this thing get loose.”

  Tep put me in a private room. He got busy arranging the tests he needed to subject me and my unwanted guest to. I remained in partial stasis to keep me from taking off and committing mayhem should the It get the upper hand again.

  Oses remained with me while Betra went back to my quarters to fetch a few things. My Imdiko lover returned with my prettiest nightgowns, my handheld, hairbrush, and other little things. He set the handheld on the table next to me so I could speak to it. My diary, music, and audio story files were there to keep me amused during this incarceration.

  It is an incarceration. I am a prisoner in Medical, held by stasis and the terror of the thing taking me over.

  I gave in to panic for a little while. “Promise me,” I begged Oses and Betra over and over. “Promise me the baby will be saved, no matter what it means happens to me. You have got to keep my child safe if I get to the point where I can’t make those decisions anymore.”

  They said all the right things, assuring me that my little one would survive this nightmare. I’m sure Betra meant it at the time, but who knows if he’ll falter if the worst happens? He’s told me he loves me, and sometimes love makes us weak. If it comes down to pulling the plug on me, I’m not sure he can insist.

  Oses, however ... well, he’s Oses. I have hopes his brand of uncompromising love will take care of whatever comes. He’s had to face the possibility of it before. I think I can count on him.

  When I continued to cry, devastated by all that had happened and continued to happen, the men did their best to soothe me with gentle kisses, whispered comforts, and loving caresses. When that failed, Oses went for what only a desperate Nobek who couldn’t beat someone up would think of: sex.

  I was jolted from my despair by him flipping up the nightgown I’d been dressed in by the orderlies, exposing me from my swelling waist down. I gasped as he spread my legs and planted a wet kiss on my pussy.

  “Are you insane?” Betra hissed at him, looking as shocked as I felt. “This is not the time for sex!”

  “She’s stopped crying,” Oses pointed out. If not for the heat in his purple eyes, the look he gave me would have been quite bland. “It’s a good distraction, I think. It’s up to you, Shalia. Do you wish me to stop or continue?”

  I stared at him, flabbergasted. “Oses, I’m being taken over by an alien organism!”

  “Yes, I know. But right now you are still Shalia, the woman I crave. You were also getting hysterical, which does you no good. I have snapped you out of that.”

  He had a point. However, my mind was far from wanting a lurid encounter. “I do not feel like fucking, Oses.”

  “Not yet,” he shrugged. “Maybe I can change your mind. You are helpless under a partial stasis field. That puts you unequivocally under my power, something that usually makes you happy. I can give you a little sexual pleasure to help you feel better. If Betra will stop looking so affronted, he could help too.”

  Betra shook his head at Oses. “Only a Nobek would think of fucking at a time like this.”

  Oses rolled his eyes. “I said nothing about actual fucking. It’s against regulations for intercourse in Medical anyway. However, Shalia can be serviced. Maybe she can even achieve climax. Maybe not. But we can try to take her mind off her troubles, if only for a little while.”

  Betra looked like he was getting angry. It was a crazy idea, all right. Plus I had another concern, which I voiced before the Imdiko could give Oses the verbal tongue lashing he was no doubt planning to unleash.

  “Oses, you can’t want to touch me. Not with this – this awful thing on me. In me.”

  The Nobek looked at me. There was love in his eyes, but not the soft dewdrop love of poetry. Not a sappy, silly love. This was hard love, the love of a man who would kill in its name. It was an uncompromising love that said nothing would keep Oses from doing what had to be done to shelter me.

  “It is not you,” he said. “The invader can never take you from me. Nothing, not even death can take you from my heart. I see only you, Shalia. The It cannot change that, and it cannot have the part of you that matters most. If the only way I can show you that is through lovemaking, then that is what I will do.”

  With that, he buried his face in my pussy. My instincts were to buck him off, to slug him, to pull on his hair to get him off me. Yet I was helpless to do anything but take it.

  That thought was enough to switch my gears. My mouth had been opening to tell Betra to kick the Nobek’s ass when I realized there was nothing I could do physically to ward Oses off. Damn the man, he’d been right when he said that was one of my triggers. My pussy gave an insistent throb of need.

  Even now, I’m not sure how lust could have overcome my terrors at such a moment. Maybe it was the love I’d seen in Oses’ eyes. Maybe it was simply an animal instinct to hide, at least emotionally, from what tormented me. Whatever it was, it had me gasping all of the sudden as desire lit its familiar but still wondrous fire.

  I moaned, my vision turning hazy as I looked at the dark head moving between my legs. Lips, tongue, and teeth worked my sweetest flesh. Oses’ breath was warm on me, its heat seeming to seep into my core.

  I guess my reaction to those most intimate kisses convinced Betra that Oses was on the right track. The Imdiko’s mouth found mine, and his hands curled over my breasts. While Oses concentrated his delicious attack on parts south, Betra handled everything from the waist up.