Shalia's Diary # 6

by Tracy St. John

Mouths and hands played over my body, taking me away from the horror for too brief a time. It was the best they could do however, and I sank into the pleasuring with gratitude.

  With one hand moving over my belly, as if he sought to comfort the child in me, Betra’s other hand and mouth teased and tormented my breasts. One moment he nipped and pinched. The next he kissed and caressed. Then he sucked and squeezed. The sensations went from twinges of pain to soft pleasure to stabs of excitement. One bled into the other until it was a continuous pulse of bliss that suffused all of me.

  Meanwhile, Oses plied me with fingers and mouth. His fingers worked in and out slowly, putting pressure on all the best, most sensitive parts. His lips surrounded my clit, sucking it into his mouth, trapping it carefully between his teeth, and lashing it with his tongue.

  I lay beneath the two men, unable to move. Rapture swelled within me as they took advantage of my inability to even twitch, devouring my frozen body until billowing delight shattered me. When those first surges of ecstasy quieted, they resumed with more intensity than before. They made me climax twice more before they deemed their work done.

  I floated in a hazy aftermath, my body sated and my mind quiet for the moment. I felt strangely secure as Oses and Betra straightened my nightgown and bed sheets, making me presentable once more.

  Some semblance of sanity asserted itself. It told me my lovers would protect me as best they could. If the day came when they no longer could keep me safe, then they would guarantee my child’s well-being. With my earlier hysteria bled out, I could think again. Thanks to Oses and Betra, I once more knew exactly where everything that mattered most to me stood. The universe was still a catastrophic fuck-all, but at least now I had stable bits to keep me sane.

  May 21

  Today could have been better.

  Tep wanted to do some of his tests with me conscious. That was fine and dandy for the blood tests, urine analysis, that kind of thing. For taking skin samples ... mine and the Its ... local anesthesia was employed. It didn’t go so well.

  I was never in pain. However, the It does not want to be tested, not when it is aware of what is going on. It had a few surprises in store for us all.

  I first felt it stir as a separate entity when Tep programmed the medibed computer to take blood. When activated, the medibed sends one or two ‘arms’ to move from beneath the bed to cover the patient. These arms are panels that contain computers, injectors to deliver medicine, scanners, and extractors ... like for taking the samples Tep wanted. I had two of these panels over me for the tests. One arched over my chest, and the other covered my abdomen.

  “I might keep these panels in place to track where those alien feeder veins are going,” Tep told me. “That way, scanners will pick up if they start moving in the direction of the baby.”

  “Sounds great,” I said absently. I was interested in what he had to say, particularly when it comes to my daughter. However, I had detected some concern and a twinge of anger from the It.

  Oses and Betra were there. So was a squad of four security Nobeks, headed by Oses’ second Ebnad. They were present just as a precaution. I was still in partial stasis, my body frozen from the neck down. How much trouble could I cause?

  I didn’t want to find out there was a scary answer to that, so I duly reported, “I can feel it’s aware of what’s happening. The It is not happy.”

  Dr. Feru, the psychologist who was helping Oses and me get past our PTSD of being kidnapped and held prisoner, was also in attendance. He moved closer, his kind face concerned. “Is it separate from your thoughts, or do you feel them as your own like before?”

  “Separate. It can damned well stay that way too.”

  Feru grinned at my bravado. I wasn’t being bad-ass to impress anyone, though. I had to be strong to protect us all, my baby the most.

  “Blood sampling complete,” the bed’s computer reported in Kalquorian. I frowned. I didn’t think I had gotten so far in my language lessons. The It still felt separate. Was I retaining some of the things it had learned when it infiltrated the ship’s systems?

  “Send samples to lab,” Tep told the computer. “Tag it as first priority.”

  “Acknowledged.”

  “Set for local anesthesia. Left arm and lower abdomen.”

  “Scan indicates alien exoskeleton on subject’s left arm, requiring piercing of bone. Continue with procedure?”

  “Confirmed.”

  “Carve the damned thing off if you want to,” I muttered.

  Tep arched a brow at me. “I’d prefer to recover you in one piece.”

  I felt a couple of tiny pinpricks on either side of my belly. I felt nothing from my arm, but there was a jolt from the It. Its need to fight was on the rise.

  “Somebody’s getting cranky,” I warned. “It wants to resist.”

  Feru cupped the top of my head with his palm. “Let me know if the sensations you receive from the parasite start feeling more like your own thoughts.”

  He hoped to talk to the It if it gained control over me. From the nightmares and the little bit of thought I’d experience from my unwelcome guest, I doubted he would find his efforts useful. The It didn’t want to be reasoned with. It had a goal, and the goal was to destroy. That’s what it had been made to do. I thought the only real question that needed answering was who had made it? And did its creator know how to reverse its effects on me and Candy?

  My stomach went numb. Tep ordered the panels to collect samples of the exoskeleton, the feeder veins, skin, and placenta. That’s when the It went full-blown crazy.

  Rage filled my skull. It was enough that I couldn’t transform this body as quickly as I was programmed to do. It was unthinkable they had captured the other one like me and sent it to sleep for the moment. But for them to think I would allow them to test me in an effort to find a weakness? No. I could not be stopped. I would not be stopped, not by these weakling creatures.

  Then I was back to Shalia, tearing myself free of the It to shout a warning. “I’m losing myself to it!”

  Now I had two separate consciousnesses in my head, both fighting for supremacy. Feru was asking or telling me something, but I couldn’t pay any attention to him. I had to keep this thing from taking me over, from erasing me from existence. I was terrified that would be what happened if I gave an inch to the It.

  From then on, it was the two of us shouting from the same mouth. One moment I was saying stuff like, “It thinks it can get free. Watch out!” Then the It vented its rage with, “Lower creatures will be eliminated. Purity will be maintained! Order will prevail!”

  I could feel the It trying to assert itself on my brain. It didn’t hurt, but I could almost sense a clawing, a grasping, a bid to get a real foothold over my psyche.

  “No! I will not let you! My name is Shalia Elizabeth Monroe. My name is Shalia Elizabeth Monroe. My name is—”

  I interrupted myself with the It’s big play, one none of us saw coming. In perfect Kalquorian, words shot from my lips like machine gun bullets. “Emergency override of all Medical systems. Dr. Imdiko Tep authorization one-five-zero-four—”

  Over me, Tep’s eyes widened in horror the instant I started speaking. As I yelled his authorization code he shouted, “Voice recognition! Cancel emergency override! Erase Tep authorization from the system, security protocol!”

  Ebnad roared, “Acting Weapons Commander Ebnad confirmation of head medic’s removal, authorization beta-seven-three-three!”

  “-seven-two-delta!” I finished screaming.

  There was a moment of absolute silence. Then the computer said in its usual flat, emotionless tone, “Head Medic Tep’s authorization erased from system. Dr. Zaw currently with sole full Medical systems authorization.”

  Before the It could start rattling off more codes, I yelled, “It’s got all the authorization passes for this department. You have to take them all out.”

  “Fuck!” Ebnad swore before using his security pass to take the whole system, minus the stasis f
ields, offline. Fortunately for us all, none of the patients in Medical were in life-threatening situations. I didn’t have Ebnad’s security codes, so I couldn’t disable the stasis field holding me prisoner. That had been my primary objective.

  Oses stepped forward, looking down at me gravely. “How much of the ship’s systems has the It gained access to?” he asked me. “Whose codes, what departments’ access?”

  At his question, my unwanted guest drew its consciousness back, trying to shield itself from me. However, it had been so intent in gaining control over Medical and stopping Tep from his tests that the It had left itself wide open. I caught the answer before it slammed the door shut on me.

  “Nearly everything except bridge and most security functions,” I answered. “It got into some lower-risk security accesses, which is how it got the shuttle bay doors open during yesterday’s attack. But it hasn’t yet gotten into weapons, navigation, power, or life support. It has every intention of getting hold of those codes as soon as it can, however.”

  “Damnation,” Ebnad growled. He looked to Oses. “I’d like to reset everything, from food services right up to the captain’s codes.”

  “Agreed. Once you wipe the system and input new accesses, the invaders’ that have taken over Mataras Shalia and Candy will have to start over again from scratch – if they somehow manage to escape stasis.” Oses’ tone said he was pretty confident that wouldn’t happen.

  I hated to rain on his parade, but I remembered one small nugget that had crossed the It’s mind during our battle. “It thought of Candy’s confinement as temporary. It is confident that you can’t keep either of us locked down forever.”

  The weapons commander’s eyes narrowed as he looked at me. “You’re sure of that? I don’t know of any creature capable of escaping stasis.”

  “The It has no doubt it will get free,” I reiterated. “It is only a matter of time.”

  Feru blew out a heavy breath. “Tep, were you able to get all your samples?”

  The head medic shook his head. “Not one bit of tissue before everything shut down. Subcommander, I know you have a full plate, but I need my department back up and running as soon as possible in case there’s an emergency.”

  “Of course. We’ll get to that immediately. Let me get to my console on the bridge. I’ll have everything back up with temporary codes within fifteen minutes.” Ebnad glanced at the rest of the squad. “Stay here and keep an eye on things.” His glare in my direction was decidedly unfriendly.

  Betra’s face was lined with worry. “Now what?”

  Tep was on his handheld, tapping on it at lightning speed. “Once Medical’s systems are restored, I’ll put Shalia under heavy sedation. I’ll get those samples, whether that damned thing in her wants me to or not.”

  May 22

  I wish I could report the sedation Tep used on me yesterday to finish getting his samples made things better. It did not.

  I woke from the testing to find myself under heavy guard. That sent off warning bells. “Fuck. What happened?”

  Feru’s strained face hinted at hope. “Is that you, Shalia?”

  “Last time I checked.” I looked around to see his relief echoed in the expressions of Oses, Betra, and Tep. The Nobek security squad continued to look mean.

  “Thank the Mother of All,” Betra breathed. “We were afraid we wouldn’t get you back.”

  “Get me back from where?” I looked at the expert of the group, Tep. “Doc?”

  He came close to pat me on the shoulder. “The sedation put you out, but the invading organism was able to activate areas of your brain for its use. It took complete control over you.”

  Terror filled me. “How am I here now?”

  Tep shrugged helplessly. “My best guess is that when you are conscious, you can fight back and keep it at bay, at least to a point. We’ve seen you do it.”

  “I had no control when it opened those bay doors,” I reminded him. As I spoke, I searched my head for any stray alien thoughts. I detected a surliness in there, a small mote of tension. Nothing else.

  “You weren’t aware you’d been infiltrated at the time,” Oses said. “Now that you know about the entity, you’re on alert. It hasn’t taken you over enough to overrule you yet.”

  Yet. That one little word rang out like a death knell.

  “What about Candy?” I mused. “She’s been out for a couple of days now.”

  “Sedated and in full stasis,” Tep said. “The combination seems to be holding her for now.”

  “You don’t think it will continue to?”

  He rubbed his eyes tiredly. “The other It continues to invade her body, transforming it more and more. Your version has already hinted that stasis won’t hold her forever.”

  Oses said, “It’s the perfect weapon, made to overcome all barriers. That’s what I believe.”

  Despite the anger in his face, he almost sounded as if he admired it. That’s a warrior for you. If the It hadn’t set up shop inside Yours Truly, he might have looked forward to fighting it.

  “So now what?” I asked.

  Tep straightened. “I got the first round of samples for testing despite it fighting to get free. We’ve put a rush on the lab, so we’ll be ready for more tests tomorrow. This time, you’ll be conscious in the hopes you can keep a rein on that thing. Plus I have a few other tricks I’d like to try to make sure the organism can’t take you over again.”

  I almost asked what those tricks were. Good sense showed up for a change before I could open my mouth. The It was no doubt listening to everything. Not that they would have told me what they were up to ... they know talking to me is the same as talking to the enemy.

  So until tomorrow. Why do I feel like a train is speeding straight for me and I can’t get off the tracks?

  May 23

  It was a busy day for a gal who is immobilized in bed. First, the nightmare.

  It was the worst yet. I was the It again, fully armored and back on Barin, hunting and killing the Barinem. This time it was just me and one other monstrosity doing the attacking. I think the other It was the thing that is now taking over Candy.

  Even though it was just the two of us, we could not be stopped by the small village we attacked. Dear prophets, we killed and we killed and we killed ... the bloodshed felt neverending. The Barinem weapons, crude things that they were, didn’t faze us. When they stopped fighting and started running, we followed them. We hunted them down and kept killing ... hand to hand when possible. Elder, adult, or child, it made no matter. We were there to cleanse the planet of lesser creatures.

  In the dream, I was once more invigorated by my murderous rampage. At least I was to a certain point. This time a bit of the real Shalia was separate, watching the horror and screaming in my head. That part of me tried to wake up. I fought to escape the carnage. I failed. I was forced to not just watch but to feel every emotion as I broke bones, ripped out hearts, and eagerly slaughtered.

  I woke sobbing. The monitors had already alerted Feru, and the psychologist was at my bedside seconds after my eyes opened. It was good to see a kind, caring face, particularly after what I’d dreamed I’d done.

  “I’m dreaming the Its memories again,” I wept as he blotted my tears with a soft cloth. “It takes so much pleasure in killing others. It’s almost like a religious ecstasy. How can any thinking, feeling creature get joy out of doing these things?”

  “Tep is pretty sure it was created in a lab,” Feru said. “It’s makers programmed it to be a certain way, to be a weapon of no conscience. There may be a silver lining to this, however.”