Entangled

by Annie Brewer

  “Yeah, hi I was just calling you back. You called like five times. What’s up?” I try not to sound irritated. I really don’t want to be a dick.

  “Yeah, Spencer said you’re coming back in a month or something.” I can hear her excitement and I feel like an ass. I’d hate to disappoint her.

  “No, I’m coming in a month. Not coming back. It’s just for a few days.” I could swear I hear her pouting through the phone. I hate when girls pout. They think it’s cute and guys like that shit. Not this guy. Hell fucking no, it’s such a turn off. That’s something a four year old does. “Look, I’ve got some stuff to do but I’ll call you another time.”

  “Are you dating anyone?” Whoa, what the hell?

  “Uh, what business is it of yours?” I hear her sigh. I know she wanted to come here with me but she has no right to ask me that. Right? I don’t know, I’m just taken aback by the third degree. “Sorry, no I’m not. But if I was, it wouldn’t matter to you. It shouldn’t Kasey.”

  “You know, I really liked you Noah. I thought we had something special.” And this is why I don’t date. I don’t want anything “special”. Okay, that’s such a load of crap. But I will keep telling myself that I don’t. It’s easier that way.

  “I’m sorry. I told you in the beginning it was only physical. I don’t do the real thing. But I really gotta go now.”

  “Okay, fine. But one of these days, you’ll call me asking me to take you back. And then, I will.” I struggle to keep my hysterical laugh from escaping because I don’t want to laugh at her but that is just not something you tell someone you’ve only slept with. She’s in her own fantasy land, where she will stay. Good luck with that sweetheart.

  “Okay, great. Talk to you soon.” I hang up and shake my head. Fuck, why did I say that? I should’ve cut ties with her. I slip my phone in my back pocket, grab my keys and head for the bar. I need a drink.

  I arrive at Midnight, noticing for a Wednesday night it’s pretty busy. I shut off the engine and wait. It’s 11:30. I hop out of the jeep. The parking lot is spacious but it’s filling up with cars. I guess I’ll shoot some pool and chill with a beer or two.

  As I open the door, I’m blasted by loud music. Karaoke I’m guessing. I forgot Maddy told me they have it Wednesday thru Saturday. Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know is being butchered by some chick on stage that can’t hit a tune to save her life. I almost want to go up there and help her out. Geez. This is an Oldie but a goodie. I look by the pool tables and see they’re all taken. I guess I’ll sit at the bar. I glide through the throng of drunk swaying bodies and reach the bar, wishing I wore shorts. It’s hot as shit in here.

  “What can I get for you?” The bar tender asks above the noise.

  “Can I just have a Miller Lite please?” He nods and grabs a bottle, popping the top before handing it to me. I grab my wallet from my back pocket opposite my phone, tossing my card on the counter.

  God, please end the song already. I keep my eyes away from the stage, taking my phone out to text Spencer.

  Me: You bastard, why did you tell Kasey I was coming to town?

  I wait a few minutes but no reply. Well, he’ll get an earful later that’s for sure. I take a sip of my beer and observe the bar tonight. It’s mostly filled with people my age, maybe older. Then I see a table close to the stage that is cheering on the chick. They’re obviously all drunk. But then again, I’d probably be careless if I was having fun with friends too. Isn’t that what Karaoke is about? I never cared what anyone sounded like before. In reality, this isn’t my scene anymore. Spencer and I used to play and sing with a couple other guys back in the day. I can play guitar and piano, but it was for fun, playing our favorites; Metallica, Depeche Mode, Skynard. My phone lights up. A text.

  Spencer: Ha ha. Did she call?

  Me: You douche, you think it’s funny? She called like five times. Thanks asshole.

  Spencer: Sorry dude, I didn’t think she still wanted your nuts after you left her.

  Me: Yeah, well she’s not getting my nuts.

  I don’t realize the song has ended until everyone is clapping and shouting cheers for the performance. I’m just shouting cheers because it’s over. What’s the point of this anymore? I finally realize the bar is no longer my scene, which Spencer would laugh his ass off if I told him that. But all I’ve ever lived was a girl-chasing, bar-hopping, no-good life. When I moved here, I’d decided to put all of that behind me. I need to figure out what I want to do. I will get my degree and get a job. But doing what? Shit I’m pathetic. I need to stop wasting my time on bull shit.

  “Can I tab out?” I finish my beer, slide out of my seat and slip my wallet back in my pocket. I pay and prepare to leave when I hear my name called. I stop and turn around to see Maddy smiling at me. She’s wearing black pants and a silk black and red blouse that dips just above the chest area. Her hair is curled at the ends and pulled back in a half pony-tail. “Hey.” I say, surprised.

  “Hi.” She replies shyly. “Were you leaving?” I can’t help but detect the disappointment in her voice. It makes me smile. I can stick around for a few minutes I suppose. My eyes move down to her mouth and an image of mine on them make me lightheaded. I had an urge to kiss her on the swing but settled for a peck on the cheek before I left my Aunt’s house. I didn’t want to scare her or be too forward. I respect her enough to keep things at a steady pace.

  “I’m really tired. I was going to go home and crash. But are you free Friday night?”

  “Yeah, but hey, I wanted you to meet a friend of mine from work. It’s her birthday.” She turns to leave and so I follow. And I realize it’s her table that is close to the stage, which means the chick singing Alanis is her friend. Ah, hell.

  I force a smile, hoping it appears genuine. Damn, I shouldn’t have been so judgmental. She’s cute, short and blonde with wide hips and big blue eyes. “Hi, I’m Noah.” I extend my hand.

  “Hey, I’m Shelly.” Her voice is sweet, in contrast to her singing voice. She looks drunk. She smiles back, showing me crooked teeth. The guy in New York would be all over her. Thankfully he’s not here tonight because that guy doesn’t deserve Maddy.

  “It’s her birthday today.” Maddy says in my ear.

  “Yep, I just turned 21. Happy birthday to me bitches!” She yells, tilting her head back. “I need another beer.” She walks away shouting, “It was nice meeting you.” I wave to her back.

  “Hi Noah.” Andi says from her seat. She’s looking at me weird now. I wonder what Maddy told her after I left. That’s a conversation for another day.

  I wave to the table where Derrick is also sitting and then I turn to Maddy, “Want to walk outside with me?” She nods, following me out the door.

  “Sorry about that back there. She’s a bit tipsy.”

  “Just a bit?” I laugh. We walk side by side through the parking lot, stopping in front of my jeep. I lean against it and shove my hands in my pockets.

  “Well,” she starts, “You remember what it was like being 21, wild and free.” I remember too well, the wild, not so much the free.

  “She looked like she was having a blast, that’s all that matters. Though I’m not sure Alanis would appreciate her performance.” I tease. The breeze blows her hair in her face but I could see a smile through the strands. She bumps me with her shoulder, playfully.

  “Be nice. No one said it was a contest.” She quips.

  “Okay, you’re right. Sorry.” I notice her shivering; I open my passenger door and grab my Adidas jacket. I wrap it around her shoulders, covering up her outfit which is a shame because I was enjoying the view. “Thank you.” Her fingers push back hair from her face. “I gotta get back inside.” She gestures to the bar. I nod and walk to the driver’s side.

  Once I’m inside with the engine on, I roll down my window. “So, Friday?”

  “You picking me up?”

  “Absolutely.” I hear the excitement in my own voice, hoping I don’t appear overly eager. She grins, thrill
ed. “By the way, you look amazing.” I blurt out before I can stop myself. Oh well, women like to hear they look good.

  She looks down at herself, remembering she still has my jacket. “Oh, here.” I wave my hand. “Are you sure?”

  “Give it back on Friday.”

  “Thank you Noah.” She moves closer to the car, resting her arms on the window frame. She’s so close, all I have to do is lean in and I could kiss her. Easy, patience. That voice tells me. I smile at her, resisting the urge to ask her to come to my place just to hang out. But I won’t do that. I want to do things right. I want to take her out on a proper date. I guess I can no longer deny that I like her. I just can’t fuck it up.

  “I meant what I said, you look amazing tonight.” Her cheeks flush pink, she looks away quickly. I chuckle. “Yeah, you better get back inside. I can see I’m embarrassing you.”

  “Okay, see you Friday.” She backs away from the car, pulling my jacket tighter around her shoulders. With one last glance and smile, I pull out of the parking lot, cruising down the back roads back to my apartment. And for the first time since I’ve been here, I’m finally feeling some semblance of happiness.

  Chapter 31

  Maddy

  I love my job. I love my co-workers and my boss. I love the patients that come in with their little fur balls. They bring me such joy on a crappy day. Of course they can bring me sadness too. But I won’t dwell on that fact. Because Today is Friday, my favorite day of the week. It was always my favorite day but today, its moreso true because it’s the day I am going out with Noah. I love this smile that won’t disappear from my face. Normally, I just work like usual. Fridays seem to be our busier days and it goes by quickly. But because I’m actually looking forward to getting off, it’s going by so slow.

  “So, Noah is really hot.” Shelly sidles up beside me. “From what I remember, anyway.” I blink and tilt my head to one side. She was really drunk Wednesday night. I guess I can’t fault her for that. I remember being 21 but I still didn’t expect her to recall meeting him. It was such a quick introduction.

  “Yeah, he’s alright.” I shrug, casually. “You were pretty wasted.”

  “Of course, you only turn 21 once, silly.” I nod in agreement, returning my gaze to my computer screen. I have appointments to log in but I can’t concentrate.

  “So, is Noah a friend of yours?” I turn my head and see a twinkle of mischief in her eyes. She’s not looking at me, which helps when I send a glare at her.

  “Yes, he is.” And I’m going on a date with him so back off. “But he’s dating someone already.” I finish.

  “Oh, well that’s a shame. I bet he’d be good in bed.” Of course you would think that, you’re a ho. Why can’t people be more focused on getting to know someone rather than just sleeping with them? Plus, doesn’t anyone consider diseases? To me, it’s not worth it. And if that means I’ll die not having sex again, so be it. I’d rather be safe. But I hope to find someone who respects me enough to let me decide when to take that step. There has to be someone out there like that, right?

  My phone vibrates in my pocket. For a minute I wonder if it’s Noah. I feel a flutter in my belly at the possibility. But when I pull my phone out, I let out a breath as Andi’s name appears on the screen.

  Both disappointment and relief collide in my chest. Still at work, I should be focusing and not distracted.

  Andi: Are you off work yet?

  Me: No, soon. Quit being so impatient.

  When I told Andi I was going out with Noah, Friday night after he left the bar that night, she could not contain her excitement. You would think she was the one going out with him. She dragged me shopping for a perfect outfit, which I hope he’ll like. Oh yeah, I can’t forget about his jacket. I make a little note to remember to bring it. I don’t realize Shelly left my side until I look over my shoulder and see her standing in one of the doctor’s doorway. I guess she didn’t like my comment.

  I put the end of my pen I’m holding between my teeth and glance between the computer and my phone. Checking the time, I realize I only have an hour and a half left. My stomach flips with nerves and I look up when the door chimes, alerting a patient. An older lady with white hair carrying her yellow lab pup enters. “Hey Maddy.” Carol says. I stand up and greet her and Ginger, her pooch.

  “Is she getting shots today?”

  “Yep, my baby is getting her shots.” She cuddles her and kisses the top of her head. Baby talk is common here. We all do the baby talk thing. To me, it’s acceptable. When adults do that to each other, I wanna hurl a rock at their heads. I’ve never been a fan of baby talk in terms of endearment. It’s immature, just my opinion. I scratch Ginger’s ear and she licks my face, giving me her puppy breath greeting.

  “Dr. Weaver will see you now.” Shelly says to Carol. I kiss the pup on the nose and wish her luck. Her tail wags, tongue hanging out the side of her mouth.

  I fall back into my chair and pick up my phone and set it back down. The rest of my shift, I focus on my tasks and it flies by quickly. “Okay, I’m out.” I tell my manager on duty. I skip out of the office to my car.

  On the drive home, I keep the radio off, listening to the silence. For some reason, I’m really nervous. It’s not like I haven’t been on a date before. So why am I so nervous? I don’t count Landon; he’s known me for so long and knows what I’ve been through. I’m hoping Noah doesn’t ask questions about my past. Derrick has told me stories about Noah’s bad boy rep back in New York. I hope he doesn’t expect me to fall for his charms so he can get me in bed. But I didn’t have that vibe about him when we were talking on the swing. He seemed genuine and kind; there was nothing that led me to believe he’d deceive me. But then again, I don’t know him that well. Things aren’t always as they seem. I shake the thought out of my head. I’m just being paranoid.

  I need to think of safe topics to discuss. I don’t want to talk about our pasts, they’re both off-limits. The first thing that pops into my head is New York. My mind considers all the places I want to visit while we’re there. He can tell me what it’s like to live there and what I should expect. I start to squeal to myself, so close yet so far away.

  I pull up to my apartment and park in the closest space. Parking here really sucks, spaces are scarce at times. But they are also so close together. I get out and slam the door on accident, running up to my door, unlocking it. I throw my keys on the entry table. “I’m home.”

  My phone vibrates in my pocket. This time nerves flutter in my stomach when I see Noah’s name on the screen.

  Noah: Did we settle on a time?

  Me: Oops, no. I guess that would have been smart. I just walked in the door and need a shower. So, 7:30?

  Noah: Perfect.

  I jump in the shower, taking the quickest one ever. Of course I washed my body and hair; I just didn’t shave my legs this time. I hug my towel close to my body when I get out. I walk through the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. Andi bursts through the door with grocery bags in both hands. I rush over to help her set them on the table. “Thanks.”

  “What’s all this?”

  “I figure you’re going to be out tonight, so I need to fend for myself. I got TV dinners to go with my chick flicks and ice cream. I’ll need it.” She beams at me. I smile back. I take a good look at her, noticing the circles under her eyes.

  “Andi, are you not sleeping?” She waves her hand dismissively. “Do you want me to stay here tonight?”

  “Please, go out and have fun. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’ve got a date with Paul Walker. Got all of his movies, well the ones that were worth watching. I’ll be fine.” She tries to smile. I can see something is bothering her. I feel guilty. She looks like hell. I hug her shoulders, kiss her cheek and then retreat to my room, closing the door to get ready for the night.

  “My dad started chemo today.” Andi startles me as she sticks her head in. I wave her in, she sits on the bed. I step out of my closet and turn around to face her, keepin
g my emotions from showing on my face. “I’m sorry; I don’t mean to bother you. I just wanted to tell you. Keeping myself busy is essential right now, which is why I took extra shifts at the restaurant.”

  I join her on my bed and take her hand, “Don’t apologize for telling me. I’m here for you. I’m going to go through this with you and we’re going to get through it together. If you need to cry, let it out. Don’t hold it in; it will only make it harder.” Her head bobs up and down and she lets her head fall into my shoulder. I can feel her body quiver. I take a deep breath and hug her tight. Be strong Maddy, you have to be strong for her.

  We’re both silent for a while and then she lets out a breath and bumps my shoulder with hers. “Okay, get dressed young lady, you have a date tonight.” She kisses my head.

  I slip my neutral panty hose on before my dress. It’s a long black gown that cris crosses with the opening at the bodice. There’s a slit at the front and it almost hits the floor. Thank God for my heels, otherwise I’d trip on it. And if that’s not embarrassing on a first date. In the back the material is see-through. I have a wrap that goes over enough to cover my bare arms. Maybe I’m overdoing it, but whatever. I feel sexy in it.

  Once my dress is on I start curling my hair in the bathroom. Andi applies my make-up, minimum. I never had a mother to teach me to properly apply make-up, but I had an Andi. Although, I choose to wear very little. I don’t see the point in covering up your natural face. Or maybe I just didn’t know how so I just didn’t try it. Andi enjoyed turning me into her dress up doll, only when I gave her permission to, which wasn’t that often.

  “Ouch.” I burn my hand with the curling iron. Bringing it to my mouth, I suck on my skin to bring some relief.

  “Here, stick it under the faucet.” Andi turns on the water, grabbing my hand to run it in cold water. “I’ll finish your hair.” I smile and thank her. I glance at my reflection in the mirror, admiring her work. The make-up is very minimal but it’s perfect.