Sinking in the Shadows

by Alexandria Bishop

  Tinley doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The attitude of that girl has her both impressed and terrified. What is in store for her the minute Marek walks out the door and leaves the two of them alone together?

  “…worried for no reason.”

  “Huh?” Tinley was so completely lost in her own train of thought that she didn’t realize Marek was still talking. Maybe she should be taking notes on all the directions he’s given her. She almost feels like she’s back in high school again, and she’s a bit terrified he’s going to quiz her on everything he’s gone over already.

  “Were you paying attention to anything I said?”

  She shrugs her shoulders with a small smile and simply replies, “Pregnancy brain.”

  Marek laughs and wraps his arm around her shoulder while leaning down and whispering into her ear, “You can’t use that excuse for everything, you know.”

  “Of course I can. Isn’t that the one upside to being pregnant? You can blame every stupid thing you do or forget to do on your pregnancy brain. I need something positive out of this experience.”

  “You mean other than the fact that you’re carrying our child and he or she will be here in a few short months.”

  “Duh, obviously that’s the best part about pregnancy, but you have to wait nine whole months for that to happen. In the interim, the whole being pregnant thing is pretty miserable, just saying.”

  Marek’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he curses under his breath. “Sorry, that’s probably work again. I should probably get going unless you need anything else from me?”

  She starts to tell him no and then she thinks of something. “Oh! Do I need to change diapers or anything like that? I don’t even know how old Luna is.”

  He laughs a little louder than necessary. “No diaper changes necessary. Luna is four and has been potty trained for quite some time now. You do have to ask every once in a while if she needs to go to the bathroom though. She has been known to get distracted and forget to go. I have a bag packed for her with a change of clothes and some of her favorite snacks.” He hands the adorable small My Little Pony backpack and asks, “Anything else?”

  She shakes her head and smiles. “No, you go ahead. We’ll be fine here. I’ll just call you if I need anything.”

  “Thank you again for doing this. I’ll put her car seat in your car before I leave. I know this whole thing is a little unconventional, and I wish I had introduced the two of you sooner.”

  “Don’t even worry about it. We’ll be fine. Now get going before you get another call.”

  With a tight smile on his face, he looks toward the living room then nods before heading out the front door. Tinley’s smile instantly falls from her lips, and she looks to where the little girl is currently occupied with her TV show. Hopefully things will continue to be just as easy for the rest of the day and evening.

  Walking into the living room, Tinley is pleasantly surprised to find Luna sitting perfectly still on the floor with her eyes glued to the rainbow ponies flying around on the TV screen. She almost feels bad tearing her away, but Tara’s party is starting in an hour and she’ll probably freak if Tinley isn’t there to help finish setting everything up.

  As Tinley sits on the floor next to Luna, the little girl doesn’t even look up or glance in her direction. She’s completely zoned out.

  “Luna, how do you feel about going to a party with me?”

  She taps on her chin without losing her focus and responds, “What kind of party?”

  “My older sister just had a baby so it’s her baby shower.”

  “That’s funny. Why would we go watch your sister give her baby a shower?”

  Leave it to a child to see the literal side of everything. “You know, that is a weird name for a party, isn’t it?” Luna nods and Tinley continues explaining, “A baby shower is actually a party you’re supposed to have before a baby is born. You shower the mom with gifts for her baby, but my sister ended up having her baby early and we didn’t get to have the shower before he was born.”

  She pulls her focus from the screen long enough to focus in on Tinley’s abdomen and ask, “Are we going to have a baby shower for my baby?”

  She starts to laugh at Luna’s instant ownership of the baby. “What do you think?”

  She studies Tinley for a minute then says, “I think so.”

  Nodding her head Tinley says, “Yeah, I think you’re probably right.”

  Standing up from the floor, Luna turns off the TV and looks at Tinley. “Sure. Let’s go.” Then she starts walking toward the front door.

  Remembering how Luna answered the door the first time they met, she scrambles up from the floor and chases after her, hoping she doesn’t lose her before the day is over.

  Chapter Thirteen

  After Marek left, it took Tinley much longer than she would like to admit getting Luna situated in her car seat. She’s embarrassed by the fact that the little girl actually had to explain to her how to buckle her in. It should not have been that complicated, but then again regular seatbelts don’t have all of those straps and buckles. Fortunately, they eventually got it all figured out and were on their way. She might have to ask her sister to double check it before they leave and go back to Marek’s house later though.

  Ever since they arrived at Tara’s house, Luna has been pretty much attached to her sister’s side—or more like she’s been attached to wherever her son is at. The little girl is apparently in love with babies, and Tinley hopes that means she’ll be excited when her own sibling arrives. She seemed excited when they told her, but the idea of a baby and there actually being a baby there are two completely different things.

  She has the biggest smile on her face as she looks down at Landon and then back up at Tara. She asks, “What’s your baby’s name?”

  Tara smiles down at her son, all bundled up in a blanket, and replies, “Landon.”

  Luna thinks about that for a minute and sort of pets the top of his head. She taps her chin with her finger as she tilts her head from side to side. “Is that a boy name or a girl name?”

  “He’s a boy, although I’m sure someone somewhere has used it as a girl name as well.”

  She nods her head, but Tinley can tell the wheels are still turning as she considers what Tara told her. Luna’s head tilts to the side as she studies Landon and then asks, “But how do you know he’s a boy? He doesn’t really look like a boy to me. Do you get to decide if you want a boy baby or girl baby? Like if my daddy wanted a boy and put me in boy clothes, then I would be a boy?”

  Tinley’s eyes go wide and she’s a little worried about where this conversation is going. Luna isn’t her daughter, but with Marek not here, she feels compelled to say something, though she doesn’t want to overstep. And how does she even know what to say in the first place? The child is only four—who knows what age is appropriate to start talking about the differences between boys and girls? This is all new territory for her and not something she ever thought about. Although, if Marek and she are going to be together they should probably have a conversation about what’s okay and not okay with Luna. That and what kind of parenting style he has. For that matter what kind of parenting style, she’s going to have. That’s not exactly something they teach you in school.

  She doesn’t have to panic for too long because Tara easily answers her question. “When a baby is inside his or her mommy’s tummy, the doctor can use a special wand that gives them the ability to see what the baby looks like, and it also helps let them know whether or not a baby is a boy or a girl. It’s like when you’re watching TV.”

  Her sister smiles and looks up at Tinley who mouths, “Thank you,” to her. One crisis averted for the day. She doesn’t even want to know how many more will follow.

  “Really? Did the doctor use that special wand on Tinley too? She has a baby in her tummy.”

  Tinley shakes her head from side to side, hoping her sister gets the hint and doesn’t go into too much detail about her pregna
ncy.

  Tara smiles and continues answering Luna’s questions. “Tinley’s baby is still too little so she doesn’t know if she has a boy or a girl in there, but she should find out soon and I’m sure you’ll be the first to know.”

  “Really?” Luna turns to Tinley and asks her, “Will you tell me when you know if your baby is a boy or girl?”

  “Absolutely. You’ll be the very first person I tell.”

  “Even before my daddy?”

  Tinley’s mouth falls open and she feels like laughing. This little girl has quite the personality. “You got it. I’ll make sure to let you know even before I tell your daddy.”

  “Good.”

  Tinley’s not quite sure if she’s won Luna over yet, but she’s pretty sure she just won some major points. The little girl is absolutely adorable, and she hopes to be in her life for a very long time, if not forever.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me right now. Please tell me I didn’t just hear that correctly.”

  Tinley’s entire back stiffens and her heart drops in her chest. Tara has the audacity to be embarrassed since she forgot to mention to Tinley that Dakota was going to be here. Of course, she was always invited, but when the dates changed because her sister had her baby early, it meant that her best friend couldn’t be here. She’s supposed to be halfway to her parent’s house right now for their anniversary.

  Still facing her sister and not turning around, Tinley opens her mouth when Tara answers for her, “Go talk to Dakota. Luna and I are just fine right here. It’s about time you fill Dakota in on everything anyway.”

  She was planning on telling her soon especially since she’s going to start showing at some point. But she didn’t mean for her to find out this way. Not at all. Tinley nods her head and turns around to see her roommate standing there. The only way to describe the way she looks right now is hurt. Tinley could handle her being angry or even having her laugh in her face. But the absolute heartbroken and betrayal on her face is enough to gut Tinley. She swallows down her pride and crosses the room to where she’s standing in the doorway.

  The party continues going on around them unbeknownst to the potential drama about to breakout, but all the noise slips away the closer Tinley gets to Dakota. She shouldn’t be feeling this nervous and scared, they’ve been best friends forever. They tell each other everything and know each other’s darkest secrets. Yet this is something she’s kept hidden. Obviously not from everybody and she really should question why she chose to leave Dakota in the dark.

  Sure, there’s tension between Dakota and Marek at work, or at least there was, but is that really a reason to keep the biggest news of her life, so far, to herself? No. Simply put, she should have told her best friend the news the minute she found out. And the fact that she didn’t says more about their friendship than anything else and Tinley isn’t really sure how she should feel about that. Then again Dakota hasn’t told her about her blog either. Maybe they’re just drifting away and their friendship has run its course. That thought makes her insanely sad and she truly hopes that’s not the case.

  Tinley walks past Dakota and crosses the police tape across Tara’s staircase. There’s a half bath downstairs and her sister never lets people upstairs when she has gatherings. Gasp. What if people have sex in her bed? Or worse, soil the towels in the guest bathroom, which is never used? She inwardly laughs at how much her sister has in common with Monica Gellar, always a neat freak through and through. At first, she isn’t sure if her best friend is following her up the stairs, but then she can hear the additional footsteps.

  She opens the door to the guest bedroom she was staying in before and waits for Dakota to enter before following behind her. When they’re both in the room, she shuts the door and the awkward silence suffocates the room. Tinley laughs and coughs with the uncomfortableness of the situation choking her to silence.

  Dakota has never been one to be silent about anything and she doesn’t let their current predicament change who she is as a person. “Tinley, what is going on with you? Are you pregnant? And who is that little girl downstairs with Tara? I feel like everybody is in on these major secrets except for me.”

  “I’m sorry that I made you feel like I was keeping you out of the loop. That was never my intention. I promise you that the only people that know what I haven’t told you are Tara and Marek.”

  The minute those words leave her mouth, Tinley instantly regrets it. Dakota’s head whips back like someone slapped her in the face and her entire face crumbles. “Marek? The douchekabob? That same Marek?”

  “I’m not even going to say anything about your new made up word relating to douche, but I’m sorry. I told Tara first that I was pregnant, and yes to answer your question I am, because I was so overwhelmed, and she’s been there. And then I told Marek because he’s the father.”

  She rolls her eyes and the venom in her voice is unmistakable. “Yeah, because those are the only people you told. What about that random child downstairs? You told her or whoever the hell her mother is. So, don’t give me that bullshit that you only told Marek and your sister. I’m not that naïve.”

  This conversation is going nowhere fast and Tinley knows it. If she doesn’t lay it all out there for Dakota, she’s just going to get mad which is completely unreasonable and unnecessary. Tinley drops down on the bed and motions for Dakota to join her. Instead, she shakes her head and stands near the far window waiting for Tinley to speak. “Do you remember how I told you that Marek has a daughter? Well Luna, the little girl currently downstairs with Tara, is Marek’s daughter. So, no there isn’t anyone else that knew about me besides them. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first, but with the way you reacted when I told you about Marek to begin with…I didn’t really feel compelled to tell you everything.”

  “Wait. Are you telling me what I think you’re telling me? When did you find out you were pregnant?”

  This is the part of the conversation that Tinley hoped they would never have. Because this is when she tells her best friend how long she’s been keeping this information from her. She cringes and her voice comes out quieter than she realized when she says, “In the hospital.”

  Dakota’s mouth forms an O. “When Tara was there? That’s not that bad, I guess.”

  Tinley shakes her head and knows her best friend is going to be livid with her. “No. When you took me to the hospital when I broke my ankle. When the doctor made you leave my room in the ER, it was to find out whether or not I was pregnant. I didn’t think I was, but they drew some blood and turns out I was wrong.”

  “Are you kidding me right now? You’ve known and kept this information from me for months? I could understand if you just found out and were still processing, but that’s not the case at all. What the hell Tinley?”

  “I wanted to tell you when you were here. That’s why I was so upset that Marek kept Luna from me. I was scared and confused, but you started saying shit about Marek when I told you we were even dating, I wasn’t going to tell you that I was pregnant too. I didn’t think you would understand.”

  Dakota walks toward the door and opening it before turning around and saying, “No. You don’t get to blame this on me. You made a choice Tinley. One that didn’t include me which means our friendship obviously doesn’t mean as much to you as it does to me.”

  Before she has a chance to say anything in response, Dakota is gone and Tinley is left wondering if their friendship will ever be the same.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Every time the door opens, Tinley looks straight to it, hoping and praying that the next person to walk in is Marek. Her appointment was supposed to start five minutes ago, which means the nurse will come out any minute to take her back. They were very adamant that once the ultrasound starts, they wouldn’t allow anyone in the room. So, if Marek doesn’t show up in the next few minutes, he’s going to miss the entire thing. Her heart rate speeds up and the flutters in her stomach start whipping around like crazy. She looks down at the time on her cell
phone and when another minute goes by, she can’t take it anymore.

  Me: Where are you?

  * * *

  Me: I’ve been pacing this waiting room for the past ten minutes now and everyone is looking at me like I’m a crazy person.

  * * *

  Me: You better not be standing me up Marek. I know where you live.

  She laughs at herself at that last text. Because that’s real threatening for a five-month pregnant woman to show up on his doorstep. Maybe it would be more threatening if he didn’t already know she was pregnant. The door opens again and finally he comes waltzing through the door with Luna in tow. Tinley’s anxiety drops down a notch, but she’s still so mad that he is now six minutes late for her appointment. If her doctor were actually on time about things, he would have missed it entirely. He looks around the waiting room and when he spots her in the corner, he walks right over.

  “I’m sorry. I know I was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago.” He looks down to Luna who is holding his hand and with a clenched jaw says, I had a bit of a complication this morning.”

  She motions for him to take a seat in the chair next to her and asks, “What kind of complication?”

  He picks up his daughter and says, “Luna threw a giant tantrum about the color of her hair tie. She didn’t like the one I was using and we had to scour the entire house looking for the ‘right’ one.”

  “Daddy, you wanted to put a yellow one in my hair.” Luna shakes her head and puts her hands on her hips. She dramatically sighs and points to herself. “I’m wearing a purple dress, and that would not have matched. It would have looked ugly. And today is a purple day. I can only wear purple today. Duh.”

  Tinley closes her mouth up tight to prevent herself from laughing. The attitude on this little girl is ridiculous, and she can’t get over the fact that even though she’s only four years old, it’s like she’s a tiny person, full of personality and her own opinions.