Sinking in the Shadows

by Alexandria Bishop

  “It’s okay. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

  Nobody else gets a chance to say anything as the nurse calls Tinley’s name and they’re all whisked back to the ultrasound room. Tinley’s nerves go crazy again as they wait for the technician to join them. Any moment now, they’ll be able to see their baby and find out if it’s a little boy or girl in there. She’s happy having either one. Ultimately, she just wants a healthy and happy baby, but if she could choose, she’d love to have a little girl.

  There’s a quick knock at the door and then a woman walks in. She’s smiling with a ridiculously huge grin and she says, “Good morning everybody. My name is Maggie and I’m going to be looking at your baby with you today. How are you all doing this morning?”

  Introductions are made around the room as she gets the monitor turned on and pours the cold jelly on Tinley’s baby bump. A slight shiver travels down her spine at the contact, but it quickly warms up as it’s spread around. The familiar wump, wump, wump fills the room as the technician moves the wand across her belly. Luna wiggles out of Marek’s arms and stands next to Tinley, watching as the baby shows up on the screen. She reaches out to touch her belly, but changes her mind at the last second and turns toward Marek.

  “Look, Daddy, it’s a baby in Tinley’s tummy.”

  He places one hand on Tinley’s shoulder and the other on Luna’s. His focus is glued to the screen, and the love and awe on his face is so evident. With all three of them so focused on the child in her belly, she can’t help but feel like they could be a real family together, like she could finally have what she never had growing up—a true sense of love and belonging.

  “And are we wanting to find out the sex of the baby today?”

  All three of them say “yes” in unison, Luna shrieking out her response the loudest and making Maggie laugh. She moves her wand around and they all wait in anticipation of the announcement.

  The entire appointment was absolutely perfect. The morning might have started out a little more stressful than Tinley would have liked, but in the end, that didn’t really matter. All she cared about was that two of the most important people in her life were there in the room when they all found out that baby Outlaw number two is another girl. They left the doctor’s office with all three of them beaming and even more excited about the impending arrival of their new family member.

  As soon as they got back to Marek’s house, Luna crashed pretty quickly for her nap. All of the excitement from the appointment this morning and their quick stop at a baby store wore her out. Tinley’s been relaxing on the couch and reveling in the direction her life is going. Not even a few months ago she thought everything was going to shit, but now she couldn’t be happier. As Marek walks back into the living room from putting Luna down in bed, she can’t help but smile. She never could have imagined this man bringing so much happiness to her life and now that he has the idea of being without him and Luna is not something she wants to experience.

  “I have some news for you,” Marek said with a smile.

  “Oh yeah?”

  He takes a seat at the end of the couch and pulls her feet up into his lap. With gentle movements, he removes both her shoes and socks and moves his fingers in lazy circles over the soles of her feet. She moans out and throws her head back enjoying every moment of the massage. As he works on her foot, he says, “I got a promotion at work.”

  “Oh my gosh, that’s amazing!” She leans up and looks up at him. “What kind of promotion?”

  “They’re transferring me to the outbound department. Because my numbers and my leadership have been so impressive as a team manager, they want me to bump up the sales volume over there. I’m going to be shadowing the current department head for a few months and there’s a bunch of training they’re going to send me on, but eventually, I’ll be running the entire department.”

  The thought that Tinley won’t get to see Marek every day at work is kind of disappointing, although their work schedules haven’t exactly been lining up lately as it is. She knows how hard he has been working toward an opportunity like this and all of those extra shifts he’s been putting in has definitely put him as a front-runner for this promotion. He’s one of the hardest workers they have at the call center, and while she used to think he was just a major douche, she realizes now that he has always been dedicated to his work.

  “That’s really awesome. I’m happy for you.”

  “And you know, I was thinking…I’m going to get a substantial raise, so if you don’t want to continue working, you don’t have to, and maybe you’d consider moving in with Luna and me?”

  It would make sense to move in together, but it seems too soon and too fast. They’re finally back together and she doesn’t want to mess things up when they’re already going so well, but she doesn’t want to tell him that and make him think she’s having any doubts about their relationship. Instead, she says, “That sounds great, but I wouldn’t want to leave Dakota high and dry like that. She can’t afford our apartment on her own—us lowly peons don’t get paid as well as management does.”

  He looks slightly defeated and his shoulders slump. His voice comes out more quiet than she would have thought as he asks, “So it’s not a no?”

  “No, it’s just a not right now.”

  He smiles and pulls her hand to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss. With a small squeeze, he says, “I can work with that.”

  “Oh, is that so Mr. Department Head. You can work with that?”

  “That’s not the only head I can work with right about now.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  As uncomfortable as she felt the first time Marek asked her to watch Luna, Tinley has surprisingly gotten used to it. Today was the fourth time this month that they’ve spent the day together, and the more time that passes, the more she falls in love with the little girl. She hopes Luna feels exactly the same way about her, but she honestly doesn’t know. Then again, she’s four; she could love her one minute and hate her the next for absolutely no reason at all. If there’s one thing that she has to admit is she’s never been so entertained in her life. Luna keeps her on her toes, that’s for sure.

  Tinley moans as she polishes off a cookie dough cupcake. They made a batch of them this afternoon, and it was exactly what she needed at the end of this very long day.

  She gets up from the table and starts walking toward the kitchen with her plate when she hears the front door open and close. Marek has been working longer hours since he got his promotion, and Tinley has been worrying about him a lot. Most days when she’s here and he drags himself in from work, he looks like he’s dead on his feet, but tonight is different. He’s got a smile on his face and his eyes are alert.

  “Where’s Luna?”

  “I put her to bed hours ago. We played all day and made Halloween decorations so she zonked right out as soon as her head hit the pillow.”

  “Is that so?”

  Tinley nods her head and slowly backs away from Marek toward the dining room. The hunger in his eyes is undeniable as he stalks toward her. The hardwood of the table digs into her back, and she has nowhere to run to. As he gets closer, Marek drops down to his knees in front of her. Sliding the hem of her shirt up, he kisses her belly and looks up at her. His hands replace his mouth, and the expression of pure love and awe written on his face is breathtaking.

  A flutter fills her belly at his touch, and she finds herself once again obsessed with knowing that his child is currently growing within her. He slowly rises to his feet and pushes her shirt up as he goes. He removes it and tosses it to the floor without ever taking his eyes off of her. The intensity in his gaze overwhelms her as he leans forward, kissing his way up her neck and whispering into her ear, “You’re so beautiful.”

  If there’s one thing that has been hard about this pregnancy, it’s that it’s bringing her insecurities out. Tinley’s never been a skinny girl, or a very pretty girl. She would describe herself as average, or even forgettable.
With her constant weight gain and her hormones causing her skin to go out of whack, beautiful is the last thing she feels these days. Her cheeks redden and she wiggles out of Marek’s grasp, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

  As she starts reaching down for her t-shirt, he frowns and reaches his hand out to hers. “Hey, what just happened?”

  She shrugs and turns away from him, ashamed of the feelings coursing through her. When he turns her to face back toward him, her unshed tears become apparent. She quickly closes her eyes, and the feel of his lips against each eyelid has those tears pouring down.

  “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess right now,” she cries out through her sobs. Marek pulls her toward him and envelops her in a tight hug. She releases all of her emotions into his embrace, and after a few minutes, she finally calms down enough to explain her sudden breakdown. “My emotions are all over the place right now. I didn’t mean to fall apart on you.”

  “You never have to apologize for that. I just don’t know what happened. Did I say or do something that made you feel bad?”

  She both shakes and nods her head, which only confuses Marek that much more. “You called me beautiful.”

  “Because you are beautiful. I love you, Tinley.”

  “I don’t feel beautiful. I feel fat and ugly and fat.”

  He scowls with a fierceness in his eyes and says, “Then obviously I’m not doing my job well enough. I’m going to have to show you just how beautiful I know you are.”

  His shirt drops to the floor next to hers and he moves forward, nudging her backward onto the table. She lies down and the fire in his eyes intensifies as he grips the waistband of her leggings, pulling them down along with her underwear. She’s completely bare in front of him, and the hunger on his face has her whimpering.

  Marek climbs onto the table, hovering over her. She’s never had table sex before, but then again, she never had car sex before him either, or shower sex. Now that she thinks about it, prior to him, the only place she’d ever had sex was in a bed, and it was never any good anyway. With Marek, it’s always good. Not that good is even a word that could describe it. Incredible, fanfuckingtastic, mind-blowing are all great words to describe it.

  His hands glide up her body and cup both of her breasts, lightly pinching her nipples. Her sensitivity is beyond anything she’s ever felt before, and she releases a long moan as a wave of pleasure shoots through her entire body. She feels as if every nerve ending is on fire with each grip, graze, and grope from his touch.

  “More,” she moans out as his hands glide down her body, going lower and lower.

  He teases her thighs by lightly running his hand up and down while watching her reaction. With each movement of his fingers, he slowly gets closer and closer to where she wants him.

  Before she has the chance to yell at him for driving her crazy, his fingers go right where she needs them. One gentle graze against her clit and her entire body almost springs off the table. His slow, careful caresses get faster as he applies a little bit of pressure, and Tinley starts thrashing on the table. It’s been so long since he’s touched her, and she’s needed this connection. He pushes one finger then two inside of her as his thumb continues its attack on her center.

  “Shit, you’re so wet right now,” he exclaims as he pumps his fingers in and out of her.

  Almost immediately, she’s screaming out her release. She rides wave after wave of pleasure, and just as she’s coming down, Marek slides right in. The fullness is just what she’s been missing, and he groans out at the same time she does. Tinley finds herself clawing at his back as he thrusts out and then back in again. With her sensitivity heightened, it’s only a few more minutes before she feels herself climbing again. She doesn’t hold herself back and feels almost feral as she screams and moans, chasing her release. Marek slams his mouth down on hers to muffle her outbursts and chases his own release alongside her.

  He jumps up from the table and starts cleaning up their mess of clothes. Tinley is so beyond relaxed that she doesn’t move an inch and closes her eyes to relish in the pleasure still coursing through her body.

  “Shit, did I hurt you?”

  “Um, no. Why would you think you hurt me?” She stretches her arms out above her head and laughs. Her entire body feels incredible outside of the whole uncomfortable pregnancy part. “That was fantastic. I could probably go again if you wanted to.”

  “I think we need to get you to the hospital.”

  She leans up on one of her elbows and studies the expression on Marek’s face. “What are you talking about? Why would we need to go to the hospital?”

  “Tinley, you’re covered in blood.”

  “Oh my gosh, are you serious? Do you think we hurt the baby? I thought pregnancy sex was supposed to be totally safe.” Tinley jumps up from the table, absolutely terrified that something could be wrong with the baby, and she’s surprised to see the blood running down both of her legs. Her eyes immediately start welling up with tears and she vows to never have pregnancy sex ever again. She doesn’t even think of cleaning herself up as she bends down for her clothes on the floor. The only thing on her mind is making sure their baby is okay.

  While she’s sorting through the mess of clothing, Marek starts laughing like crazy behind her. The fury running through her body is like no other. How can he be laughing at a time like this? The scariest thing in the world is happening right now, and he thinks the whole thing is hilarious. Does he not even care about the safety of their child? He wouldn’t be laughing his ass off if something was wrong with Luna, that’s for damn sure.

  “Tinley, stop. You’re fine.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about Marek? I am currently covered in blood. This isn’t normal and I am not fine.”

  “Seriously, calm down for a minute. It’s going to be okay.”

  He steps toward her and reaches his arm out, but she takes a step back. How can he say everything is going to be okay? He can’t know that. It’s not like he’s a doctor or anything. When she steps back a second time, he reaches out and around her. He pulls something off her right butt cheek and holds it up in the air in front of her. What in the world?

  “When you were working on the Halloween crafts, were you using the kitchen table?”

  Her hand instantly flies to her mouth as she sees what he’s holding. Looks like during cleanup, she accidentally left a small packet of fake blood on the table. Her heart is racing so fast and her emotions are flying all over the place. She goes from terrified to angry in a matter of seconds, adrenaline coursing through her body. She slides down to the floor and breaks down into sobs.

  The smile that was on Marek’s face vanishes and he slides down next to her. “Hey, it’s okay. She’s fine. It was fake blood, and you have nothing to worry about.”

  “I know, but I was so mad at you. I thought you didn’t care whether or not our child was safe. You started laughing so hard and…and—”

  “Don’t you ever think that. I love you and our child so much, Tinley. I would be absolutely devastated if anything happened to either one of you. We’re a family.”

  Suddenly feeling a little self-conscious, her voice becomes a whisper as she asks, “Do you promise?”

  “You seriously don’t trust me enough to know that?”

  “I thought that was how you felt, but then you started laughing so much.”

  “Because you were bent over with your ass up in the air and the little blood packet was stuck in your ass crack. I couldn’t help myself.”

  “Well next time maybe warn me before you start laughing while I’m in panic mode.” That said, she can’t help but chuckle at the image he just created. She probably would have laughed too if she weren’t the butt of the joke.

  “You got it. If we ever have sex on the kitchen table again, I’ll double-check it for fake blood packets so we don’t make the same mistake twice.”

  She smacks him lightly on the arm and says, “Ugh, you’re such a dick.”

  “But yo
u love me.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” She leans in to kiss him and then stops asking, “Why do I love you again?”

  “Beats the shit out of me, but I consider myself the luckiest man alive every day that you do.”

  And she considers herself the luckiest woman alive to have found Marek and Luna. They’ve created their own little family, and soon it will be expanding.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The front door opens and slams shut a few minutes later. Tinley has her glass of juice halfway to her mouth when Dakota comes storming into the room. With a thud, a canvas tote bag she had in her hand drops to the floor. In her reclined position on the couch, she can’t quite see the contents. Leaning up, she places the glass on the end table next to her, and says, “You’re home—”

  Dakota doesn’t even let her finish her sentence before she points her finger at her. The fury all over her face is alarming, and the anger of the words coming out of her mouth doesn’t sound like Dakota at all. “I can’t believe you. I held my tongue when I thought you made a horrible mistake with this relationship because it wasn’t my place to say anything. You’re my best friend and I’ve stood by you through everything, but this? This is a low, even for you.”

  She feels like she just got whiplash from the hatred spewing out of her best friend. She has no idea what she’s talking about, and she tells her as much. “Dakota, what are you talking about? I haven’t done anything wrong.”

  “Haven’t done anything wrong?” A harsh cynical laugh falls from her mouth and she continues, “Are you kidding me right now? Maybe you should ask your boyfriend about what he did today.”

  “I’m confused—what does Marek have to do with anything?”

  “Everything. It’s all his fault.”

  Tinley is so incredibly lost on whatever is happening right now. Dakota isn’t explaining anything and is just yelling about how angry she is. Trying to calm her best friend down, she keeps her voice low and even when she says, “You’re not making any sense right now. Just tell me what happened. I’m sure it’s all just a misunderstanding.”