Sinking in the Shadows

by Alexandria Bishop

  Unfortunately, all that does is have the opposite effect on Dakota. She shakes her head and her voice gets louder as she yells back, “Of course you’re going to take his side. We’ve been best friends for years, but the moment a dick comes along and pokes you, all bets are off.”

  “Are you serious right now? It’s not even remotely like that.”

  “Oh yeah, what’s it like then? Because I’m pretty sure if I made you choose sides, you would choose his in an instant.”

  Dakota seems to be talking in circles right now and all it’s doing is giving Tinley a headache. How did this conversation get so twisted? “What are you talking about sides? Why does there have to be sides? You’re my best friend Dakota, you know that. And Marek is the father of my baby. You’re both equally important to me in different ways.”

  Her eyes narrow as she puts both hands on her hips. Her voice comes out like cold steel and Tinley leans back against the couch as if her voice were strong enough to slap her. “He got me fired Tinley. I lost my job today, and it’s all your stupid boyfriend’s fault. That’s my livelihood he messed with. Our livelihood. How are we going to pay our bills now?”

  Fired? Marek would never do that. And if he knew that Dakota was going to get fired, wouldn’t he have told her? There has to be some sort of misunderstanding here. “What do you mean you were fired? And what does Marek have to do with it? I don’t understand.”

  Her voice comes out small and defeated as she says, “Yeah, that’s the problem—you don’t understand.”

  Before Tinley has the chance to say anything else, Dakota walks down the hallway toward her bedroom and slams the door. No part of that conversation made any sense, but maybe Marek has a better idea of what’s going on. She picks up her cell phone and sends him a quick text. Dakota seems to think he played a part in her losing her job, and Tinley really hopes she’s just confused or misunderstood about what happened.

  Me: What’s going on with Dakota? She just came home screaming at me and said you got her fired. Do you know what she’s talking about?

  * * *

  Marek: I got her fired?

  * * *

  Me: That’s what she says. Please tell me there is some sort of mistake here.

  * * *

  Marek: I had no idea she was fired, and I don’t know why she would think I was the cause of it. I don’t even work in the same department as her.

  * * *

  Me: I didn’t think you would do something like that, but she was so adamant that it was you and now she’s not talking to me.

  * * *

  Marek: Do you want me to come get you?

  She contemplates that for a moment. It’s incredibly sweet that he’d be willing drop everything to come get her. Part of her wants to just tell him yes so she can avoid this drama. Tinley has never been one for confrontation in the first place and more often than not she’ll just keep quiet to prevent it. But Dakota and she have been best friends for far too long for her to just ignore this. As uncomfortable as the interaction may be, she needs to stay and fix things.

  Me: No. I’m going to try to figure out what’s going on, give her some time to cool off.

  * * *

  Marek: Okay, well if you need me, just let me know.

  She doesn’t get the chance to reply to him because Dakota’s bedroom door opens up and slams again. Tinley waits on the edge of her seat as what can only be described as wheels on the hardwood are rolled toward her. Dakota emerges moments later from the short hallway with luggage trailing behind her. To say Tinley is in complete shock is an understatement. She starts to push herself up from the recliner she’s sitting in, but Dakota stops her.

  “Don’t get up. I’m getting a hotel room, and I’ll be finding a new place to live. I’ll come back for my stuff then I’ll be out of your hair.”

  Tinley’s eyes start to well up with tears, and she has no idea what to say. “Dakota, you can’t leave. You’re my best friend. We need to talk about this and get everything straightened out. I’m sure it’s all just a giant misunderstanding.”

  Dakota stops right in front of Tinley and sneers. “Oh, is that what your perfect boyfriend told you? That I’m crazy and misunderstood how he used the information you obviously gave him and got me fired?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Just calm down for a minute and stop. Tell me what happened. We’ll get this all figured out.”

  Shaking her head, she says, “No, we won’t. You found out about my blog, don’t deny it, and you told Marek. That’s the only way all of this could have happened. You’re the only one that has access to my laptop and we both know you didn’t snitch on me. So that douchesaurus rex did it. That’s the only explanation.”

  Tinley lets the douche comment slide because she knows how pissed off and hurt Dakota is right now. But now she’s really confused. This is about the blog? How was that a big deal in the first place? “Was that the wrong thing to do?”

  “Seeing as it’s the reason I was fired, yeah I’d say so.”

  “What do you mean? Why would they fire you over that?”

  “Did you even read it before you went and blabbed about it?”

  Tinley is suddenly defensive and feels nothing but anger toward her now former roommate. How could she possibly blame something she did on her? “I don’t get it, how is this suddenly my fault? If there was something on there that you shouldn’t have been writing, don’t you think that’s on you? I didn’t write it, Dakota. Stop trying to blame me for the mistake you made.”

  Dakota continues dragging her luggage behind her and walks closer to the door. The hatred in her eyes is unmistakable. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

  “Fine.”

  “Fine,” she yells back as she slams the door behind her.

  Tinley sits alone in the room, completely confused about what just happened. The last thing she expected to happen today was her best friend coming home from work incredibly upset and then leaving. She has no idea what this means for their friendship, but she hopes everything will settle down and things can go back to normal again. Honestly, though, she can’t say whether or not she believes that is possible. It’s like Dakota was looking for a reason to force Tinley’s hand and make her choose between Marek and her. She’s always had a serious hatred toward him and Tinley doesn’t understand where it even stems from. It’s not like she’ll ever find out what that reason is now though. As far as she can tell, there’s nothing that could convince Dakota to come back so they can work through this. She just lost her best friend and she doesn’t even know how to deal with that.

  Chapter Seventeen

  After another long day, Tinley is starting to get tired of going in to work every day. Marek did say he didn’t care if she quit her job, but she likes having her own money, and just because they’re having a baby together doesn’t mean she’ll feel right about him supporting her. Maybe if they were married, she would be okay with it, but they aren’t, so it would just feel weird. And now that Dakota has moved out and she’s living on her own, her bills have doubled. She definitely needs the money more than anything right now.

  She drops down into the front seat of her car and instantly takes her shoes off her feet. They’ve started swelling up during the day, and she’s been contemplating wearing slippers instead of her Converse. The tight fit of her shoes isn’t helping with her circulation one bit, not to mention it’s starting to become a struggle to bend down and tie them. Who would have thought that your belly doesn’t bend or fold when your pregnant like fat does. That’s definitely not something that ever crossed her mind. Soon enough, tying her shoes won’t even be a possibility anymore.

  Sliding her phone out of her hoodie pocket, she notices a text waiting for her. She groans when she reads the text from Marek. That is the last thing she wants to be thinking about.

  Marek: Any ideas for what you want to do for your birthday?

  * * *

  Me: Please don’t remind me that horri
ble day is just around the corner.

  * * *

  Marek: Bad memories?

  * * *

  Me: No.

  * * *

  Marek: ?

  * * *

  Me: Are you really going to force me to say it?

  * * *

  Marek: Say what?

  * * *

  Me: I’m going to be 30. :’(

  * * *

  Marek: Seriously? You’re having an issue with your age?

  * * *

  Me: Yes! Instead of a birthday, I should be having a funeral.

  * * *

  Marek: Isn’t that a little dramatic?

  * * *

  Me: I’m saying goodbye to my twenties. They’re dead. Gone. Never coming back. It’s so depressing and like I’m mourning a loss.

  * * *

  Marek: My twenties sucked. My thirties have been a million times better. Trust me, you’ll see.

  * * *

  Me: I don’t wanna.

  * * *

  Marek: Can you tell me one good thing that happened to you in the last ten years?

  He’s right. Her twenties actually sucked. If anything she’d love to go back and re-do them. Have more fun and stress less. She definitely wasted her time doing a whole lot of nothing.

  Me: What about a do-over?

  * * *

  Marek: Don’t focus on the past. There’s no point in living your life with regret. Release it and move forward.

  She knows she’s being dramatic, but it’s a hard pill to swallow. Nobody wants to grow up and get older, at least Tinley doesn’t. She wants to stay young forever, minimal responsibilities and all of that. Besides, with the freshness of her huge blowout with Dakota, she doesn’t exactly feel in the celebratory mood. How can she enter a brand new decade of her life without her best friend by her side? It just doesn’t seem right. She doesn’t tell Marek that though, because he already feels responsible enough as it is.

  Me: Hey, I just got off work and I’m still sitting in my car in the parking lot. I’ll talk to you when I get home.

  * * *

  Marek: Why didn’t you say so? Go home.

  She laughs and tosses her phone onto the passenger seat then starts up her car. Fortunately, she doesn’t live very far away from work, so it doesn’t take her long to drive the short distance to get there.

  Tinley opens the front door, and when she shuts it, something feels off…different. She’s not sure what’s changed while she was at work today, but as she walks farther into the apartment, it doesn’t take her long to figure it out. She collapses on the recliner, and the emptiness of the room surrounds her. Every single item in the room that belonged to Dakota is gone, and things feel kind of bare. It makes her uncomfortable, and the last thing she wants to do is hang out here. She doesn’t even think further. With an extra amount of effort, she pushes herself up from the recliner and walks out the door. Staying in her apartment has zero appeal when she’s all alone.

  Raising her hand, she knocks on the door and seconds later she’s pulled into Marek’s arms. “This is unexpected, why didn’t you say you were coming over?”

  She shrugs as he pulls her into his house. “I wasn’t planning on it. I went home, and it was too empty and depressing there. Now that I’m here though I realize how rude it was for me to just show up.”

  “Stop talking. I don’t care if it’s four in the morning. You never need a reason to come over. If you would just move in with me already, you wouldn’t have to worry about going home to an empty apartment.”

  She’s tempted. So, tempted to just tell him yes, but she can’t. She wants to prove to herself that she can be an adult and live by herself. In her almost thirty years of life, this is the first time she has ever lived alone. She went from her mom’s house to her college dorm room, to living with Dakota. For once she’s going to do the hard thing rather than take the easy way out.

  Luna comes running and she must have heard the conversation because she says, “Daddy, Tinley can’t live here where would she sleep? She cannot have my bedroom. No way dude.”

  Marek picks his daughter up from the floor. “Nobody is taking your room from you, sweetie. Why would you think that?”

  She throws her hands out in front of her and says, “I don’t know. Because I’m ridiculous.”

  Tinley doesn’t even know how to respond to that. She immediately starts laughing. Full-blown belly laughing. Who is this girl? She laughs so hard and—shit.

  “Oh my God.” She can feel her face get hotter and no doubt her cheeks are currently bright red. Without a backward glance, she takes off running and locks herself in Marek’s bathroom. She whips her pants down and yep, sure enough, there’s a little bit of pee in her underwear. How does that even happen? She’s twenty-nine for crying out loud and she literally just wet herself. Luckily it was just a dribble or that could have been really embarrassing. She goes to the bathroom to hopefully prevent this happening again and she cleans herself up as best she can.

  Glancing up in the mirror above the sink, naturally, her face is redder than a tomato. She splashes her face a few times with cold water and attempts to calm herself down. There’s no way she can go out there looking like this and what the heck is Marek even going to think? One minute she’s laughing like an idiot and the next she’s fleeing the scene like a freaking bank robber.

  She paces the small area in front of the sink and with a huff turns to leave the bathroom. She can’t hide out in here forever or else Marek will come looking for her and drag her out of there anyway. When she steps foot back into the living room concern is etched all over his face.

  “What was that about? What just happened? Are you okay?”

  He throws a million questions at her that she can barely keep up with them. Taking a deep breath, she collects herself and says, “Everything is fine. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Tinley, don’t do that. If something is going on just let me know. I’m going to worry until you tell me.”

  She sighs. Why can’t he just drop it? “Marek, stop. It’s no big deal.”

  He places Luna down on the floor and takes a step closer to Tinley. He wraps his arms around her. “Please just tell me what’s going on. You’re starting to freak me out here.”

  She feels like she’s suffocating in his arms and she wiggles out of them. “Dammit! I peed okay. It’s no big deal, but now I’m really embarrassed, and I didn’t want to say anything. But of course you had to force it out of me.”

  “You—”

  “Yes. I’m twenty-nine years old and I peed my pants. I was laughing so hard that it just came out. You try having an organ filled with a child pushing against your bladder. It’s kind of hard to keep control of it. Apparently.”

  Her face is no doubt red again as her emotions go haywire. She’s pissed off that he pushed her and she’s incredibly uncomfortable with the fact that not only does Marek know, but Luna does too.

  “Daddy, I think we need to get Pull-ups for Tinley.” As she says it, Luna dramatically falls to the floor laughing like a crazy person. Over exaggerated laughing.

  Great, she’s being made fun of by a toddler. There’s no way things can get any worse for her. Right?

  Chapter Eighteen

  Tinley glances at the empty seat next to her, and she’s yet again filled with sadness. It’s been over a week since Dakota was fired and Tinley last saw or heard from her. She’s fallen into a horrible funk, and part of her wonders if she’ll ever feel the same again. Even coming to work has no appeal for her. Before, it was a sucky job, but she could commiserate with her best friend. Now? It’s just a sucky job she has to experience all by herself, especially since Marek got his promotion and has been removed from the sales floor altogether.

  The day has been exceptionally slow, and they’ve been sending people home left and right. Normally Tinley would jump at the chance to leave early, but the idea of sitting at home all alone sounds even worse than being at work right now. At least
here she’s getting paid to be bored.

  She’s contemplating getting up to go to the bathroom for the second time in the last hour when a call comes in on her line.

  “Hello?”

  With as much forced happiness as she can muster, Tinley greets the customer with the opening line from the script. She desperately hopes for a sales call rather than a customer service issue, because she honestly doesn’t know if her emotions can handle an angry customer right now.

  “Yes, hello. I have a bit of a problem, so I’m hoping you can help me. Can you help me?”

  She internally cringes—it’s a customer service call. The thought of spending the next thirty or forty minutes on this call sounds exhausting, but she holds back her emotions and replies, “I’ll definitely help you out if I can. What kind of problem do you have?”