Reasonable Insanity

by Cynthia Freeman Gibbs

  “I used to think my dad would stand up for me, but my mother has complete control over him. He is spineless and does whatever she tells him to do. I know she hates me for not fitting in with the rest of the family, as if it’s my fault.” Olivia paused. “I’m alone because they choose not to pay any attention to me. I moved to Tallahassee to get away from them. I don’t even think they notice I’m gone. The only time my mother calls me is when she wants something.”

  Tears welled in Olivia’s eyes again. “I know this is crazy. Everyone else tells me I favor movie stars and models, but that’s only because I’m tall. I’m not pretty enough to get a boyfriend, but, I don’t consider myself to be ugly. Although I guess with my skin looking like black patent leather, my parents think I’m unattractive compared to my sister. Sometimes I think that maybe if I was a little lighter, they’d love me.”

  “Olivia, let me reassure you, you are a beautiful, African-American woman. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Not your family, friends, boyfriends, anyone,” Dr. Hughes stated firmly. “Sometimes, people have a shallow way of thinking when it comes to skin complexion. They are ignorant of the fact that beauty comes in all shades. So, do not let anyone define you by the color of your skin. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes, Dr. Hughes. I understand.”

  “Now, I know today is rough for you considering your brother’s suicide. You cannot let this date paralyze you and get you into a funk. I want you to put an activity to do on your calendar every year on his birthday. Go hiking, travel somewhere, plant a garden or a tree in his name. Do something to show how you can keep living and honor him. Will you do that Olivia?”

  Without hesitation, Olivia said, “Yes, I can and I will.”

  “Very good. Unfortunately, we are out of time. I would like to have another meeting with you next month if you think you need it.”

  “I may need to see you again. If I find myself slipping into darkness, I’ll call to get an appointment. Thank you, Dr. Hughes. You always know what to tell me.” When I become a psychologist, I want to be exactly like Dr. Hughes. She is such an angel.

  “You’re welcome, Olivia. You can come to see me any time.” Dr. Hughes escorted Olivia to the door where she hugged her.

  On the way out, Olivia glanced at her watch, saw she was going to be late for work and sprinted to the parking lot. She jumped in her car and quickly sped onto the street as her mind shifted back to thoughts about her family. She failed to tell Dr. Hughes about her own bad behavior in high school.

  Olivia had discovered she could get the attention she desired from her mother by bringing things home to her. It started off with Olivia picking flowers from a field on her way home from school. Her mom’s eyes widened with joy when she handed her the bouquet of colorful, wild blossoms. She patted her on the head for being thoughtful.

  Next, Olivia began taking school supplies from her classrooms. She progressed to stealing the scarves and hats other kids stored in their lockers. She earned a hug or two after giving her mother the presents.

  At sixteen, Olivia started working at a fast food restaurant. On the days she had the responsibility to work in the drive-thru station, her mother pulled to the window. Olivia piled burgers, fries, pies, and chicken sandwiches into bags to sneak out to her.

  Her mother encouraged her to get another job working in an upscale restaurant. She presented her with gifts of stolen salt and pepper shakers, glasses, silverware, and plates. The happiness expressed toward her thrilled Olivia, although her mom knew she pilfered everything.

  Once Olivia started college, she often sent packages back home to Ohio filled with items stolen from various places. Stealing became a great way to build a relationship with her mother.

  After she sent a package, her mom would call and express gratitude for being a good daughter and thinking of her. Maybe I’ll tell Dr. Hughes about this next time I have an appointment. It may be time to stop stealing. Maybe.

  The restaurant appeared empty when Olivia arrived and changed into her uniform. She had to work at the front register. Sleepy from her long night out, it wasn’t long after taking her post that Olivia became lost in thought. She leaned on the front counter with her head on her arms, waiting for customers to enter.

  Savvy strolled into the restaurant. “Hey, Olivia. Wake your butt up,” she barked.

  Olivia jumped in surprise and raised her head from the counter. “Hey, Savvy. I didn’t even see you come in.” Olivia said with a smile once she noticed her friend. “What are you doing here?”

  “Remember I mentioned I got a job here, too? I live in the apartment building right back there.” Savvy pointed toward the window.

  “That’s right. I forgot about that,” Olivia exclaimed. “Welcome to The Sloppy Burger Spot. You’re going to love this job.”

  “Yeah, I figured I could get some hours in here and work at the Civic Center. I can see all the concerts there for free. My friend got me that job, and it’s fun,” Savvy said.

  “Girl, I want to work there, too. TSUF plays basketball at the Civic Center, and it would be awesome to see all of the fine men shooting hoops on the court.” Olivia’s eyes lit up. “Please see if you can get me a job there.”

  “All right, all right. I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime, let’s talk later after I meet with the manager and find out if I’m working on the register or the fryer.”

  “Cool. I’ll walk you to her office. Don’t worry; you’ll like her,” Olivia said and led her to the manager. “Good luck on your first day.” The girls hugged, and Olivia returned to the front counter.

  A woman with pink rollers in her hair with two dirty-faced kids entered the restaurant. Olivia was disgusted at the sight of the nasty-looking kids who seemed like they hadn’t had a bath in weeks. “Welcome to The Sloppy Burger Spot,” Olivia said and put her hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. She couldn’t wait to get home and go to sleep.

  CHAPTER 3

  “Thank God, it’s Friday. Did y’all see those cutie pies in line to get in here? I know we’ll each meet someone tonight.” Olivia led Savvy and her other friend, Andrea into Club Faces. Andrea was her conservative friend who had to be convinced to hang out. Her Dad threatened to make her move back to Miami if her grades slipped from partying too much, so she never wanted to leave the dorm.

  The small nightclub’s big dance floor had a DJ booth onstage with turntables spinning the latest hits and mixes. Music blared from the huge speakers, which sat on each side.

  Cocktail tables surrounded the room, and college students crowded the bar to get the Happy Hour 4-for-1 Zombies drink special. Steam covered the mirrors around the club from the heat. The room smelled musky with sweat and cologne from people dancing as if their life depended on it.

  “Sounds good to me. There are some fine specimen of men in here.” Savvy squealed at the number of guys in the packed club.

  “I had no idea this place is the spot to be on a Friday night,” Andrea said. “This is worth me getting in trouble with my Dad for. I’ve been missing out.”

  “See, Andrea. You gotta have a good time during your college years. I figured we’ll start here. Afterward, we’ll head to The Moon to dance the rest of the night away. That’s where everyone goes to keep the party going.” Olivia pumped her fist in the air and yelled above the music. “Come on ladies. Let’s hit the dance floor.”

  Savvy and Andrea followed Olivia as she danced her way through the club. Greetings of “Hey, pretty young thing” and “I know I can get a dance with you later” and “Let me buy you a drink, baby” filled their ears when they squeezed through the crowd.

  Savvy grabbed Olivia and Andrea by their arms and stopped dead in her tracks. “Oh my gosh. I think I must’ve died and gone to heaven,” she screamed.

  “What? What’s wrong?” Olivia yelled.

  “Nothing is wrong. I just saw Carl Greer. Oh my gosh. I can’t breathe.” Savvy fanned herself frantically.

  “Who is Carl Greer?” Andrea asked.<
br />
  “He’s only the cutest guy at FAMU and the star on the track team. I think I’m in love with him.” Savvy seemed to swoon and hung on tightly to her friend’s arms.

  “Where is he?” Olivia glanced around the room.

  “He walked past us and smiled at me. I can’t see him anymore.” Savvy gazed through the crowd hoping to spot him again.

  “Well, next time you see him, grab him and give him a big, sloppy kiss on the lips,” Olivia yelled and started trekking through the room again with the girls in tow. “Come on; I love this song.” They got on the dance floor and three guys jumped in with them.

  Bodies were bumping and grooving to the combination of go-go, bass, reggae, and house music the DJ played. When he put on the song, “Da Butt” by E.U. from the movie “School Daze,” everyone ran to the dance floor and began grinding their butts on each other. The harmony of people singing the lyrics filled the air.

  The DJ kept the club jumpin’ by spinning album after album on the turntable. By the time the girls got off the floor, their wet hair stuck to their foreheads, and Andrea’s afro puff grew bigger from the perspiration and heat. They laughed at their messed-up hairdos and drenched clothes.

  “If I look anything like you two, I’m in trouble,” Savvy said to Olivia and Andrea. Her big waterfall bangs were now flat on her head. She carefully fixed her hair by fluffing it out with her fingers. “Y’all are soaking wet.”

  “Well, I guess you’re in trouble since you’re wet like someone dunked you in a river,” Andrea yelled above the music.

  “I think all of my makeup melted off.” Olivia dabbed her face with a cocktail napkin.

  “Well, even with your makeup sweated off, there’s a fine guy, and I mean F-I-N-E, on the other side of the room who can’t keep his eyes off of you,” Savvy informed Olivia and nodded back toward the dance floor.

  “Are you kidding me?” Olivia yelled. “I seriously doubt anyone is thinking twice about me while I look like a wet dog.”

  “Well think again. He’s heading this way right now,” Andrea squealed.

  The DJ changed the pace with the slow song, “I Want To Be Your Man” by Roger. Sweaty bodies locked together at the hip. Olivia peered in the guy’s direction and noticed him working his way across the room with his eyes focused on her.

  When he approached her, she noticed his beautiful, golden, desert sand colored skin glistening with moisture from dancing. Chiseled was the perfect word to describe him. Olivia focused on the perfect V-shape from his broad shoulders and chest to his narrow waistline, accenting his six-pack that looked more like an eight-pack. He had to be about six-feet-four-inches tall with arm muscles which bragged on their own.

  “Hey,” he said as he reached for Olivia’s hand, “would you mind slow dancing with me?” She stared at his full lips in a hypnotized state.

  The three girls stood together with Olivia in the middle, mesmerized by his fineness.

  “I don’t mind at all,” Olivia said. She smiled at her friends with her eyebrows raised in surprise when he led her away from them.

  As they danced, Olivia peeked at Savvy and Andrea, whose mouths gaped open in awe. He put on quite a show and began to sway his hips in a sexual healing kind of way. His movements had her imagination in overdrive, thinking about what he could do off the dance floor to a woman. More specifically, to her.

  He stared seductively at Olivia with his onyx colored eyes locked on hers as he rocked her body with his to the music. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer. They danced, connected in rhythm. Olivia stretched her arms around the back of his head and ran her fingers through his curly, black hair. She inhaled and nuzzled her nose in his neck. The scent of her favorite cologne, Polo, filled her nostrils. She pressed her cheek to his shoulder, closed her eyes, and exhaled.

  He pulled back and grazed his lips on her ear. “You sure are beautiful. What’s your name?”

  Olivia’s skin tingled, and goosebumps raised on her arms although heat from dancing bodies filled the room. “Olivia. What’s yours?”

  “I’m Dwain,” he said softly and flicked his tongue back and forth in her ear. “Come on, let’s get off this floor and let me holla at you for a minute.”

  Olivia held onto Dwain’s hand, and he led her off the dance floor. “Okay, I’m game.”

  CHAPTER 4

  After several slow songs, the DJ increased the pace and played “Back To Life,” which got everyone jammin’ on the floor again. A couple of guys asked Andrea and Savvy to dance. They partied for a couple of hours before being ready to go to The Moon. They searched the club and didn’t see Olivia anywhere.

  “Do you see her on the dance floor?” Andrea yelled to Savvy. With Olivia’s height, she would’ve been easy to spot.

  “No, I don’t see her. I already checked the bathroom, and she isn’t there either.” Savvy started to worry.

  “Let me go ask the DJ to page her. She’d better be in here.” Andrea stomped off to the DJ booth.

  “Hey, party people,” the DJ called out. “We need Olivia Maxwell to work her way to the front door. Olivia Maxwell. Your friends are looking for you.”

  Andrea met Savvy at the entrance. They waited for thirty minutes, and Olivia never showed up.

  “This is ridiculous,” Savvy said. “I can’t believe she left and didn’t say anything.”

  “Let’s go see if her car is still out front,” Andrea said. “I don’t think she would leave us behind.”

  Unfortunately, Andrea underestimated their friend. The parking space where Olivia’s green Honda Accord had been was empty.

  “No way. I’m gonna kill her,” Andrea screamed, running around the lot looking for Olivia’s car. “This heffa left us, and now we have to find another way to get home.”

  “That’s messed up. We can’t even go to The Moon now.” Savvy shook her head in disgust. “My feet hurt in these 4-inch heels and I can’t walk all the way across town without breaking my neck in these shoes.”

  “I’m pissed off right now,” Andrea said.

  “Me, too.”

  “Hey, isn’t that Lil’ Bud a few rows away?” Andrea pointed to another section of cars in the parking lot.

  Standing at six-feet-five-inches tall, Lil’ Bud was easy to spot. There was nothing little about Lil’ Bud, whose real name was Buxton Davis. He had a muscular body built like a wrestler and his hi-top fade, shaped in an asymmetrical pillar, added another three inches to his height. He sported his African, leather medallion, hand-braided necklace with a black shirt, buttoned to the top, and baggy black pants.

  “Yes, it is. Let’s see if Lil’ Bud can give us a ride.” Savvy pulled off her shoes to run through the cars toward him. Despite rocks in the parking lot poking her aching feet, she ran at top speed.

  “Lil’ Bud,” Savvy and Andrea yelled simultaneously.

  “Hey Savvy and Andrea. My girls. Whassup?” Lil’ Bud seemed surprised seeing them charging toward him.

  “Olivia left us hanging. Can you give us a ride home?” Savvy gulped as she tried to catch her breath.

  “What? Y’all know I got you. Tell you what, let’s stop by The Moon first and hang. We’ll go home afterward. I’m too fly to be done partying this early.” Lil’ Bud put his hand to his chin and struck up a model pose for the girls.

  “Bet. That’ll work. Wait ‘til we find Olivia. I’m gonna hurt that girl.” Andrea pounded her hand into her fist.

  “She left with some dude about an hour ago,” Lil’ Bud recalled. “He took off in a black Saab, and she followed him in her car.”

  “I’m done with her. I betta not see her.” Savvy put on her shoes and climbed into the front seat of Lil’ Bud’s Jetta. Andrea jumped in the back seat and slammed the door, still mad.

  “Look, let’s keep the party going. I got y’all covered,” Lil’ Bud said. “Besides, I have VIP at The Moon. I can get y'all in for free, and you don’t have to stand in line. You’re hanging with the Big Dog now.”

  He
put a Public Enemy cassette in the tape player as he drove them to The Moon. They jammed all the way there.

  Cars with FAMU or TSUF stickers were parked bumper to bumper in the club’s parking lot. Lil’ Bud turned into the lot and, Savvy spotted a green Honda Accord parked at the end of an aisle.

  “Hey. Lil’ Bud. Go through this row. I think I see Olivia’s car,” Savvy said.

  Lil’ Bud drove to the car, and Savvy and Andrea opened their doors to jump out. They ran to the Honda where the windows were all steamed up. Sure enough, the back of Olivia’s head lay pressed against the glass.

  Andrea pounded the window until Olivia lowered it. She raised her left eyebrow in surprise to see her friends.

  “Are you serious?” yelled Andrea. “You’re not actually sitting out here in the parking lot getting your slob on with that guy from Club Faces.”

  “I can’t believe you left us hangin’ like that,” Savvy shouted at Olivia.

  Olivia flashed her famous smile of pearly white teeth and laughed. The guy from Club Faces sat in the passenger seat with a smirk on his lips.

  “Y’all know I wasn’t going to leave you hanging. We wanted to get away for a minute, and get to know each other better,” Olivia said.

  “You couldn’t let us know you were leaving?” Savvy asked in disbelief.

  “We were being totally spontaneous. I promise you; I planned to go back to get y’all in a few,” Olivia said. “I didn’t see y’all on the dance floor, and figured y'all weren’t ready to leave yet.”

  Dwain leaned across Olivia from the passenger seat. “Hey ladies, sorry to cause any trouble. I felt completely taken in by this exquisite woman. I had to ask her to follow me to The Moon for a minute.” The girls rolled their eyes at his tired explanation.

  “Yeah, this is Dwain, and he plays football and basketball for TSUF. His teammates are coming here. I promise you; I planned to head back to get y’all and bring you here to meet them,” Olivia said apologetically.

  “Whateva. You’re too much.” Andrea pointed her finger at Olivia. “We were scared something happened to you.”