Reasonable Insanity

by Cynthia Freeman Gibbs

  Olivia turned around in her seat to get the gym bag. She pushed the button on her keychain to pop open the trunk. Her heart jumped around in her chest like it bounced on a trampoline. Contemplating what she planned to do made her hands shake nervously.

  Stepping out of the car, her legs were weak like putty, causing her to almost fall. She steadied herself and slung the gym bag on her shoulder. She grabbed the garbage bag with his belongings, from the trunk. She gently closed it to keep from drawing attention to herself.

  Olivia glanced around the empty streets of the neighborhood. A light drizzle began to fall, which made the grass sparkle in the dark. The sound of crickets and a barking dog was all she could hear despite the rapid thumps of her heart in the quiet night. She lowered the hat on her head and carried the bags toward Ross’s house.

  Once she got in front of his home, she put the bags on the ground and trembled as her anger built. Olivia burned inside from Ross’s betrayal and lies. Her fury grew from the pain he caused her and the time she wasted on him. The way he used her, left her heart beat up.

  He used me to betray his wife and kids. What about all those days and nights we shared together? He did nothing but lie to me about being his beautiful, Black African Queen. I guess it was all an act to make me think he loved my dark skin.

  I fell for it all. Ross knew exactly what to say, even down to telling me I tasted like Belgium chocolates. He made a fool of me. Beautiful Dahlia is now the wife of a cheating husband.

  These thoughts hit Olivia like a ton of bricks, almost bringing her to her knees.

  The drizzle turned into a steady rain and began to pelt her covered head and body. Olivia grabbed the bags and slowly glided to the side of his house. She tried to stay hidden in the shadows. She crept to his back fence, lifted the latch, and pushed against the wet gate, hoping it would open. It creaked and swung inward to let her in. She waited for a second to make sure the neighbors didn’t hear anything. Her heart pounded in her chest and each breath sounded labored from anxiety.

  Hearing nothing except for dogs barking in the distance, Olivia ran through the gate and almost slipped on the wet grass. “Whoa,” she cried before glancing around to make sure no one heard her. After balancing herself, she laid the two bags on the patio.

  The backyard appeared to be well manicured and had several, enormous Live Oak trees, which stretched high to the sky. She squinted in the darkness and could make out a swing set and a slide. “Humph,” she said shaking her head at the thought of Ross and his children playing out here.

  She tried the doorknob on the back door. Surprisingly, it opened. Stupid. Some people always leave their homes unlocked. I bet he thinks he can whip anyone trespassing since he’s a bodybuilder.

  Olivia picked up the bags and slowly tipped into the house, closing the door behind her. After wiping the rain from her face, she paused, allowing her eyes to adjust to the darkness. She dropped the bags on the floor and stood, dripping wet, in the kitchen, which led to the living room.

  The moonlight illuminated the immaculate living room through the front window. The light highlighted pictures of Dahlia, Ross, and their kids on the walls. Tears rolled from Olivia’s eyes. That’s supposed to be me in those pictures. Not Dahlia. A wave of nausea became overwhelming at the thought of what Ross stole from her. She swallowed the lump in her throat to keep from vomiting.

  Seeing the family photos snapped Olivia back into the moment at hand and she realized she needed to act quickly.

  Red lights flashed before her eyes when she reached into the gym bag and pulled out the baseball bat. Before she had time to register what she should do, she started swinging the bat wildly and smashed every lamp in the room, one by one. A scream hurled from her mouth, which she did not recognize to be her own voice. Glass popped her in the face each time the piece of wood landed on everything in her path.

  The crash of glass startled her when the bat landed hard on a coffee table. She repeated the motion and knocked statues off the end tables. The next swing shattered the screen of the television causing sparks to fly. She jumped back in surprise, yet continued, knocking electronic equipment off the shelves attached to the walls.

  Broken glass crackled beneath her shoes when she ran to the back of the house into a room, that appeared to be filled with awards and trophies from his competitions. She paused, taking in what had to be some of his most prized possessions.

  Raising the bat high above her head and screeching until her lungs hurt, she lowered it hard, smashing every trophy. “How dare you do this to me,” she yelled with each swing. “I hate you, Ross. I hate you.”

  She stopped to catch her breath after wearing herself out from beating them to smithereens. She threw the wooden weapon on the ground and began to grab awards, lift them high in the air and slam them to the ground until they broke apart.

  Exhausted and shaken from her emotion, Olivia found the bat where she threw it, and drug it to what appeared to be the master bedroom. She got another surge of energy when she noticed the king-sized bed with a picture of Ross and Dahlia embraced above it. Filled with fury, she let out a tribal yell. She swung like Hank Aaron to shatter the picture frame and knock it off the wall.

  A tube of Dahlia’s lipstick lay on a dresser. She pulled the cap off and wrote on the mirror, “Ross. Rot in hell,” in bright red letters. She didn’t recognize her own face in the mirror with puffy eyes and tiny specks of blood on her cheeks and forehead from the broken glass.

  Olivia turned away from the mirror and stuck the lipstick in her pocket. She ran back to the kitchen where she grabbed the garbage bag. She opened it and removed his Tim Duncan Spurs basketball jersey.

  She quickly scanned the room and found a lighter next to a candle on the countertop. She pulled off her gloves, put the lighter in her hand, and flicked it on. She became mesmerized by the flame. Olivia stared at the orange fire dancing before her eyes and the light hypnotized her until the heat started to burn her thumbnail.

  Dangling the shirt in the air, Olivia began to flick the lighter again. Immediately, the shirt started to burn with the flame working its way through the number 21. She could feel the heat on her face and she heard her own evil chuckle. “Burn, baby burn.”

  Suddenly, she got scared about how fast the fire spread and threw the jersey into the sink. She frantically turned on the faucet to smother the flames, causing white smoke to fill the air. Olivia turned the water off and dried her hands on her pants.

  She glanced at the clock. She’d been here thirty minutes. It was definitely time to go.

  Olivia’s hands trembled when she placed the splintered baseball bat into the gym bag, gathered the garbage bag, and ran out the front door into the rain. The storm matched the dreariness of her heart.

  She removed both pairs of his shoes from the garbage bag and hurled them one by one on top of the house. One shoe tumbled off and landed in a thick, thorny, rose bush on the side. The other one stayed on the roof.

  Angry tears blended in with the rain, which did not stop her. Olivia pulled out his two watches and slung them on the concrete ground several times until the faces shattered to tiny pieces. She threw the pieces onto the front porch.

  She took out his bottle of cologne and screamed when she flung it at the front door. It smashed and the rain washed away the cologne, which covered the door. She no longer cared if any of his neighbors heard her. At this point, nothing mattered anymore.

  She removed the sunglasses from the bag and placed them on the ground. Stomping on them until they were unrecognizable gave her great satisfaction. She tossed them on his porch. The expensive price tags on all his favorite things didn’t compare to the priceless love she had given to him.

  Olivia dug into her pocket for the red lipstick. She ran to the big picture window on the front of the house and wrote “PLEASE GIVE DAHLIA, YOUR WIFE, MY REGARDS,” in big bold letters. She threw the lipstick in the sopping wet grass.

  The rain stopped. Her wet clothes felt heavy li
ke her emotions. Her phone vibrated in her jacket. After gathering her soggy gym bag, she dug it out and Ross’s name showed on the screen. She returned it to her pocket and sauntered to her car to drive out of the neighborhood.

  Her phone rang multiple time and she ignored each of the calls. She finally listened to her voicemail messages.

  “Olivia. Where are you? I’m standing on your porch ringing the doorbell. Come open the door, baby. I can’t wait to taste your lips.”

  Next message. “Olivia, baby, when are you going to let me in? Did you leave to go somewhere? Call me back.”

  Next message. “Okay, Olivia. I’m not sure why you aren’t answering my calls. I’m sitting in my car in the rain waiting for you to come open the door. You know I need to get my hands on you, girl.”

  Next message. “Olivia, okay, that’s it. I don’t know why you aren’t opening the door. I guess you’re playing games with me. I’m going back home. Call me back.”

  After hearing the last message, Olivia drove to a gas station and removed a piece of paper from her purse with a number scrawled on it. She nervously tapped the buttons on her phone to make the call. Someone answered after two rings.

  “Hello?” the voice said sleepily.

  “Hello, Dahlia?”

  “Yes, this is Dahlia.”

  “Dahlia, this is Olivia. We met at the gym.” Should I really go through with this?

  “Olivia. Yes. How are you? It is good to hear your voice.” Dahlia said joyfully into the phone. “You’re calling awfully late. Is everything okay?”

  Olivia’s eyes welled with tears. I can’t believe that the words I’m about to say will change her life forever.

  “Dahlia, there’s no easy way to have this discussion with you. I apologize for waking you up. I need to tell you something. Woman to woman.”

  “Okay. You’re making me nervous. What’s going on?” Dahlia questioned.

  “I want to discuss something with you about my boyfriend. The one I mentioned to you.”

  “Yes, yes, I remember you mentioning the two of you are thinking about marriage, which is wonderful.”

  “Well, I found out that my Mr. Wonderful boyfriend has been unfaithful.”

  “Oh no, Olivia. That’s awful. I am sorry about this horrible news. It’s terrible this is happening to you. How cruel of him to cheat on you.”

  “Yes, I found out he’s married and has kids.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. Oh, Olivia. This must be devastating for you,” Dahlia exclaimed.

  “Yes, it is. My question I have for you is, do you think I should tell his wife?” Olivia asked and held her breath waiting for the answer.

  “Well, of course. His darkness needs to be brought to light. Don’t let him get away with this, Olivia. His wife needs to know. I wouldn’t hold back on telling her. She deserves to be aware if her husband is a stinkin’ liar and cheater. So, yes, tell her,” Dahlia said passionately and angrily.

  “Okay. Well, Dahlia, there’s no easy way to tell you this and I’m sorry I just found out. My heart is broken about sharing my misery with you of what my boyfriend has done. I didn’t know he’s married. I’m angry and sick from what he’s done to me and his family,” Olivia said hesitantly. “Dahlia, my boyfriend’s name is Ross.”

  Silence.

  “Dahlia. Did you hear what I said?” Olivia asked nervously.

  “Yes. I heard you. I find it strange your boyfriend and my husband have the same name. Ross is my husband’s name,” Dahlia said quietly. “What are you saying, Olivia?”

  “Dahlia, Ross O’Neill, your husband, is the same man I’ve been dating. He and I have been seeing each other for several months now. He never told me about your marriage. I’m sorry he did this to both of us. I would never have dated him if I had known. I’m extremely angry right now,” Olivia cried into the phone.

  “Are you sure it’s the same person, Olivia?”

  “The bodybuilder with long, red hair. I found out yesterday when the two of you kissed in front of his smoothie shop. It’s the same Ross.”

  “Did the two of you sleep together? Have you ever been in his house?” Dahlia asked angrily.

  “Yes, we have slept together. He comes to my house and never told me where he lived. He always had an excuse for not having me over. Dahlia, you have to believe me. I didn’t know,” Olivia exclaimed.

  Dahlia seemed extremely calm. “I believe you, Olivia. I’m not mad at you. I appreciate you telling me in order for me to know the truth. This is not the first time and you’re not the only one. I needed proof and you gave it to me. All I can say to you is, thank you.”

  Olivia couldn’t believe her ears. “Not the first and not the only? You mean to tell me he’s cheated on you before?”

  “I always knew in my heart he’s been lying to me about his trips to different competitions. When I became pregnant, he started staying away from our house in Port Aransas a lot. It had to be right around the time my doctor put me on bed rest. I couldn’t have sex anymore. I couldn’t figure it out. Now, thanks to you, I have the answers I need,” Dahlia said calmly. “Now, I’m going to bed. I must figure out what I’m going to do for me and the kids. Thank you, Olivia, and goodnight.”

  The call ended.

  Olivia sat in her car staring at her phone. Everything looked hazy, making her think she had fallen into a dream world. Unfortunately, she is wide-awake.

  Her phone rang causing her to jump out of her trance. Ross’s name appeared on the screen and she answered it. “Olivia, why did you destroy my house?” he yelled.

  “Lose. My. Number. Act like you never knew me. Die and rot in hell, Ross. I hate you,” Olivia screamed into the phone and hung up.

  She hugged the steering wheel and cried for her soul.

  CHAPTER 30

  “I can’t keep living like this anymore.”

  “Heather, tell me exactly what do you mean?”

  Heather, one of Olivia’s patients, clopped her oversized black rubber clogs across the floor in a nervous pace. Stopping suddenly, she plopped onto the red Italian leather sofa in Olivia’s office. She breathed heavily in deep rasps and attempted to catch her breath.

  She ran her hands through her stringy, greasy, black hair three times. It fell back against her pimple peppered forehead, which she unconsciously picked.

  Her five-feet-two inches frame carried 292 pounds, with a body shape favoring a round baked potato with legs and arms sticking out. Although she was only nineteen years old, she made herself appear matronly by wearing baggy, black clothing, which covered her from neck to ankles. The only skin showing was her face, which she never attempted to refresh with makeup.

  “Dr. Maxwell, I’m sick and tired of doing everything for these spoiled brats. No one ever does anything for me. Sometimes, I want to disappear and run away from everyone. It seems like when I go two steps forward, I fall back three.” She stood and clomped across the floor again. She rapidly shook her head back and forth to get rid of her frustration.

  “Heather, I know it hasn’t been easy for you, and this has been a struggle for a while. You’ve made a lot of progress. Let’s review some of the ideas you put into place to feel appreciated. Come sit. I want you to breathe in and out slowly a few times to relax. Tell me how you’re working on your plan.”

  Olivia coaxed Heather to return to her seat and walked around her desk to pull a chair next to the sofa to be closer to her. Heather stopped pacing, took several deep breaths, and plopped back onto the sofa. Olivia scrunched her nose when Heather’s stench hit her. She tried to breathe through her mouth to keep from smelling her and gagging.

  Olivia could see Heather was at her wit's end. She was dealing with an anxiety disorder and childhood post-traumatic stress disorder after her stepfather’s brother, Uncle Ernie, raped her. She was twelve at the time, and the abuse continued for four years.

  Overeating became her saving grace and it led her to become morbidly obese. Being overweight gave her the hope of keep
ing men from looking at her. She stopped bathing regularly and developed a nauseating odor to repulse her uncle from wanting to be close to her. Unfortunately, by the time the abuse ended, she discovered she carried twins by him.

  Heather succeeded in hiding her pregnancy from her family for seven months due to her normal belly fat and big clothes. Once her mother found out, and Heather told her that Uncle Ernie raped her, she kicked her out of the house and accused her of lying. With nowhere else to go, she landed in a homeless shelter at age 17 and gave birth to the twins shortly thereafter.

  Short on money, Heather landed in a juvenile detention center after her arrest for stealing diapers and formula at the grocery store. She met Olivia in a required community-based rehabilitative program after her release. Olivia was her voice of reason and helped with visualizing the positive things to focus on in her life.

  Heather talked non-stop, and Olivia’s mind drifted to the craziness she experienced with Ross after she found out about him and Dahlia. The last year had been depressing for her, and she wondered how she ever got through it.

  She never spoke to Ross again, although he filled her voicemail with calls daily for weeks. He dropped by her house uninvited and knocked on her windows in the middle of the night, begging her to speak to him.

  On more than one occasion, Olivia caught Ross sitting in his car in front of her clinic for hours. Her co-workers insisted on walking out with her for protection. He followed her through the parking lot, crying for her to give him a chance to explain.

  Some of the days, he appeared angry and threatening to her. He told her she would regret ruining his marriage. He transformed back to whining and crying almost in an instant. That strange behavior had never surfaced when they dated.

  Nightmares of Ross harassing her stole her sleep. She feared what he might do out of desperation. She often asked Savvy and other friends to spend the night to keep her company. Olivia contacted the police to report him stalking her and requested a restraining order. They sent a unit out to do periodic welfare checks which provided a sense of safety.