Good-bye, with Love

by Niquel

  “Mick, you coming?” I was frozen in place, staring at Johnny crossing the mall parking lot. His black and red shirt was poking out over his leather jacket. He almost looked like a teen model the way he slowly walked toward the bus.

  He looked up at the bus and I felt like he was looking directly at me.

  “Mick?” Mom said.

  “Coming!”

  My parents and I walked down the steps to meet Johnny and his mom.

  “Surprise!” everyone yelled together.

  “No way! This is for me?” He looked directly at me with an indescribable expression on his face. I couldn’t tell if he was happy or mad.

  “This is for you! They won’t let any of us in back until the birthday boy arrives, so let’s go!” I linked my arm in his and led him up the steps back onto the bus. There was a dark door that separated us from the game room.

  “Is this the birthday boy?”

  “It is!” The young blond attendant gave Johnny a special red bracelet then slapped a white one on me and the other guests.

  “Enjoy! Gamecorp America welcomes you, and we hope you have an awesome party. If you need anything at all, my name is Tim.”

  He opened the door and there was a long leather couch on the left side of the wall that extended down the entire length of the bus with endless flat screen TVs mounted on the walls directly across. They had every game system you could imagine on this bus.

  Johnny ran ahead and grabbed the very first spot on the couch. It had the most padding and was a reclining gaming seat just for the birthday boy. There was some weird zombie game on the screen and he wouldn’t stop smiling.

  He was even better looking the more he smiled.

  I saw a gaming bus sitting in front of the mall’s entrance as Mom and I crossed the street. At first I was upset, but then I had a feeling it might be for me.

  Mickey and her parents met us on the other side of it and she looked so nervous. I didn’t know how she’d pulled this off, especially without blabbing to Landon. He’d been on her for weeks, trying to get information out of her, but she wouldn’t crack. I was very impressed.

  We went inside and as soon as I saw Zombie Crusher 4 I ran for it. That game wasn’t out in the stores yet and I had to play it.

  As soon as everyone else was seated, the lights went out and some neon lights started flashing all around the room. This is so cool!

  Landon ran over to me and sat between Mickey and me. We both grabbed our guns and went for it. The surround sound coming through the speakers was awesome. I felt like I was a part of the game.

  After a few hours we were forced to take a break and they served us all pizza. I told Landon to give Mickey and me some space so I could thank her.

  “Mickey, this is so—awesome. I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate fourteen than like this!” Her cheeks were red and she wouldn’t quit smiling at me. “What?”

  “Nothing, you just look adorable right now, that’s all. I’m glad you’re enjoying your party.”

  “I’m more than enjoying it. How did you pull this off?”

  “It’s a secret, and a girl never reveals her secrets.”

  “Touché. Well thanks again. Sorry about Landon cutting in.”

  “It’s cool, I would have died anyway. That game gives me the creeps. You guys can keep it! I’ll stick with my make-believe band I have over here with Sarah and my mom.”

  “Good luck with that. I didn’t hear you singing.”

  “Me? Sing? No way. The drums are all me!”

  “Whoa, I didn’t peg you for a drum solo kind of girl.”

  “Well there are a lot of things you don’t know about me Mr. Gates.”

  I’ll get to find out soon and that’s for sure!

  Little did Johnny know, the bus wasn’t his only surprise of the day. He had told me he’d never gone roller skating before and I was going to take him inside the mall for a surprise.

  “Did everyone have fun here on our party bus?” Tim asked; everyone roared and cheered at the top of their lungs. “Great! Well birthday boy, you’ve gotten the highest score ever on Zombie Crusher 4 so we’d like to give you this honorary gaming trophy, and we’ll have a plaque with your picture up on our website until someone else breaks your score!”

  “That’s freakin’ awesome! But, no one is going to beat this score. If they do, I’ll come back for revenge!”

  The other workers started cleaning as we were being escorted off the bus. “So what now?” Landon and Sarah asked.

  “Follow me!” My parents and Johnny’s mom knew about my little surprise and told me they’d come back to pick us up before the mall closed.

  We all walked through the mall and up one floor to Kat’s Roller World. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “What Johnny?”

  “Roller skating? Are you trying to get me killed on my birthday?”

  “Just relax, I’ll teach you! It’s so easy!”

  “Right. If I die, remember it’s on your hands Mickey!” He laughed.

  We all went up to the wooden desk and grabbed our skates. The attendant was nice, but she kept giving Johnny special attention and part of me wanted to punch her in the face.

  Johnny laced his skates up so slow I thought I was going to fall asleep before we made it on the floor. “You okay? My grandpa could lace up faster than you and he has rheumatoid arthritis.”

  Johnny laughed so hard that he made me laugh too. “Sorry, I’ve never done this before. I want to make sure my ankles don’t break, hope that’s okay with you fearless leader.”

  “It is, my student. You’ll be fine!” I extended my hand out toward his and he grabbed it. I walked on the tops of my feet, letting the brake guide me across the carpet. I didn’t want to risk both of us busting our butts. I was sure he’d do plenty of that once we got onto the rink. I opened the small door and slid inside, holding on to the wall for support as Johnny came inside. He latched onto the wall so tight that I thought he was going to break the wood. “You can hold on to the bar for support. Watch me, and then you try, okay?”

  “Uh, sure.”

  Mickey was a freakin’ natural. She let go of the wall and glided over the polished wood like she had been born doing it. She did a full lap around and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She zoomed in and out of groups of people completely unfazed.

  I didn’t know where Sarah and Landon had disappeared to, but once Mickey stopped in front of me, she had my full attention. “Ready?”

  “I guess.” I tried to let go of the wall, but as soon as my feet went forward, I could feel myself losing balance.

  “Okay, try this. Keep one hand on the bar, tightly, and count to three before you start to move. So 1–2-3 move your right foot, then 1–2-3 move your left.”

  After an hour of eating the wood, Johnny quit. “I can’t do this, Mick. Thanks though,” he said as he dropped his skates off on the counter.

  “I’m exhausted guys, I think I’m gonna head out. My mom should be waiting downstairs for me.” Landon interrupted as he returned his skates.

  “Okay, bro. Thanks for coming out.”

  “Course! Happy birthday Johnny!” Landon handed Johnny a small folded envelope before he took his skates off.

  “Thanks.”

  “Hey do you think your mom could give me a ride?” Sarah asked.

  “Sure, let’s roll!” Landon replied enthusiastically.

  “See you guys on Monday!” Sarah shouted as she chased after Landon.

  “Hey Mick, follow me.”

  Johnny led me out of the rink and through the food court. “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see.”

  We ran to the other side of the mall and there was a photo booth sitting in the corner near the cell phone store. Johnny pulled back the curtain and let me in first. I sat down on the small pink bench and he joined me. My stomach was in knots because I was so nervous about being all alone in there with him.

  He reached over my legs to
put a couple of dollars into the machine then placed his arm around the top of my shoulders. “Don’t be nervous. I don’t get to save a lot of happy memories, but this day needs to be saved for sure. Say cheese!” Aww, he thought this day was special?

  We got to do five different poses. We did a serious face, then a smile, one silly, one confused . . . and for the last one . . . he turned my head and kissed me as the flash went off. “Don’t let your dad see that one. Haha.”

  “Oh I won’t, especially if you want to live.” I smiled.

  Age: Thirteen

  Diary Entry: His Birthday

  Dear Diary,

  I wasn’t sure how Johnny was going to react to his surprise party, but he seemed to enjoy it, all of it—even the part where he couldn’t stay up on his own two feet.

  He kissed me again and this time was different than the others. It actually made my skin tingle. I had no idea that liking a boy this much could affect me like this.

  We both made a promise to be each other’s special person if we didn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend before we turned eighteen. Honestly I feel like I could wait forever for him. I don’t want anyone else, because I know deep down that he has my back. He always has my back. I also know that I have to calm my emotions down because people can change and no matter what he’s like now, he could turn into a complete jerk in the future.

  Anyway, he had a great day and that’s all that really matters. That’s all for now ;)

  Mickey

  I never thought a girl I met by chance would turn out to be someone I could actually love. I found myself doing all sorts of things outside of my comfort zone, just to see her smile or make her happy. Most days I forgot she was sick, but then others I was quickly reminded and it sucked. It reminded me that nothing is guaranteed and that you can’t take time for granted.

  I hadn’t celebrated many birthdays in the past due to my jerk of a father, but this girl—someone I’d known less than a year—brought so much joy to my life. I couldn’t wait to see what would happen next.

  We spent so much time together that all our days and nights started to blend together.

  Mickey and I spent a month studying so we could both get into decent high schools later that year. She brought out the best in me and I loved it so much. If she ever felt like quitting or letting her sickness get the best of her, I reminded her what our main goal was: to graduate on time with our class, no matter what.

  Her hair was starting to grow back out and it was hanging down her shoulders. She hadn’t had a chemo treatment in a while and was gaining weight. We both had a lot of things that tried to stop us, but we wouldn’t give in to them.

  “Mickey, we almost did it! After finals this week we’re free. We get to graduate!”

  “I know. I’m so nervous to start high school, even more now that we might be going to different schools.”

  “I know, but this is going to be a good thing right? Facing the unknown?”

  “Right,” she said, pouting at me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You’ve been pretty much by my side through everything and the thought of us possibly starting the new school year apart makes me sad.”

  “I’m sorry, Mick. I thought it wouldn’t be too much of a big deal. I thought it would make the time we do get to spend together more special.”

  “Sure. I’ve got to go. I’ll see you at my appointment later right?”

  “I’ll be there.”

  I had my follow up appointment with Dr. Romaine. I had stopped chemo treatments a while ago, and I was just starting to finally feel like myself. Days I couldn’t get to school, my tutor was able to come to my house—with my parents there of course—to catch me up.

  My knee bounced up and down waiting for the doctor to come in the room. Johnny and Mom were by my side as she and Nurse Sydney came through the door.

  “How is everyone doing?” the doctor asked.

  “Fine, nervous.”

  “No need to be nervous, Michelle. You’ll be pleased to know that you are completely cancer free.” I placed my hand over my face trying to hide my shaking lips. Mom put her arm around me and kissed my cheek, and Johnny patted me on the leg and smiled at me.

  “Really? It’s gone? I never have to go through this again?”

  “Nope, it’s all finished Michelle. You’ll have to be careful because you’re still prone to getting infections because of your suppressed immune system, but you’ll get medication to help boost it back up. Nurse Sydney will take care of that for you. We will see you back in a few months to check again.”

  I put my hand over my heart to feel where the port had been and cried. I did it. I get to graduate on time with my class.

  I can’t believe today is finally the day. I had gotten my gold cap and gown in the mail earlier in the week and it gave me chills. I hadn’t thought I’d get so nervous. I hope I don’t trip on the stage as they’re calling my name.

  As I looked at myself in the mirror, I could see the sadness in my own eyes.

  For the first time in my life, I felt like I was truly growing up, and it scared me. I’d been through cancer, chemo, and all sorts of meds, but taking this next step in my life truly scared me.

  “Mickey, are you all right in there?”

  “Yeah Mom. I—don’t know if I can handle going into the unknown—alone.”

  She lightly knocked on the door. “Can I come in?” I unlocked the door and without saying a word, she wrapped her arms around me. “Honey, that’s the beauty of life. It’s okay to be afraid, but once you face that fear, you’ll be a stronger person, I promise.”

  “Thanks Mom.”

  “Dude, are you excited?” Landon asked.

  “I guess. Why are you so chipper right now?”

  “Because my grades sucked the first half of the year. I’m graduating by the skin of me teeth. My dad would have killed me if I got held back—again.”

  “Okay, well I gotta get home and get ready bro.”

  “Okay. Hey Johnny?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You did the right thing. You were honest and that’s what a good—no, a great friend does!”

  “Thanks.” Still doesn’t make me feel less crappy though.

  I slid the white gown over my shoulders and it finally hit me. These next four years are everything.

  “JJ, are you ready honey?”

  “I’ll be down in a minute Mom.” I slipped the cap on top of my head and went downstairs.

  “I know you hate it when I get all girly, so I’ll just say this: I know you’re getting ready to transition from being a young boy to a young man and you’re probably scared. You have every right to be, but the one thing I’ve always loved about you is how big your heart is. Never let your heart turn into stone, honey. Promise me that.”

  “I won’t Mom, I promise.”

  She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me on my forehead. “Let’s go! I don’t want you to be late for your own graduation ceremony!”

  So far so good. No one had fallen yet and I hoped I didn’t either. Just breathe Mickey.

  I was waiting at the bottom step of the stage trying to keep myself from puking as the kid in front of me walked up the steps. “Renaldo Daus,” the principal announced. I could barely hear the applause over the sound of my own heartbeat thumping in my ears.

  “Michelle Rose Dawson!” Don’t puke Mickey. Don’t pass out Mickey. Just breathe.

  The crowd erupted with cheers and as I glanced at the small crowd inside the auditorium, I saw Johnny staring at me. I returned my attention back to the principal and the vice principal and they both smiled. The vice principal placed her arm around my shoulders as the principal handed me my diploma. They stopped me from leaving the stage and presented me with an award. “This young lady has been through a lot this past school year, but I knew when we first met her in the sixth grade she’d be a shining star. I hope the fire I saw inside you all those years ago continues to burn and the light continues to
shine bright. Never let anything stop you from staying true to yourself and continuing to defeat the world. Please accept this shining star award, Michelle. You deserve it.” Bring on the tears.

  In the three years I’d gone there, I’d never seen this tall, bald, chubby guy show any sort of emotion. I wiped the tears away from my eyes and mouthed the words thank you; I knew if I said anything I wouldn’t be able to contain the tears or the loud sounds that would come out with them.

  I took my exit from the stage as the crowd continued to cheer loudly. Wow, I did not expect this at all.

  Mickey was definitely the star of the entire ceremony. As they called the Gs to stand, I didn’t get real nervous. I was ready for this. This was the first graduation that didn’t involve my dad’s drunken drama.

  There was only one kid in front of me leading the line and he was so short that I could see the entire stage over his head. We all lined up in front of the wooden platform at the bottom of the steps and a few girls I had never spoken to before were waving and smiling at me in the front row. I smiled back to amuse myself.

  “Joel Gabriel!” I didn’t know the kid, but he didn’t seem to get many cheers. That sucks.

  I grabbed the banister and felt my hand starting to sweat a bit as I waited to be called onto the stage next. “Jonathan Jacob Gates!” Here goes nothing.

  Whistles and cheers erupted from the crowd, and I had to stop myself from jumping because I hadn’t expected that kind of reaction. I quickly glanced in the crowd and there she was smiling at me. I smiled back and saw Landon waving his arms and throwing them up, trying to get my attention like some crazy person. Landon calm down.

  The principal and vice principal stopped me after handing me my diploma and announced that I was the most improved and determined student they’d ever seen. They wished me well as they handed me my award. Wow, I totally was not expecting that.