It's Not My Island

by Charlie Dillard

  I shake my head and with the same smile on my face I ask my boss through my door, “What is it?”

  “Marissa, is that you,” he says.

  “Yes.”

  “Open the door,” he says.

  Without thinking I open the door slightly and he is standing there looking a bit upset. It seems odd that he would be that mad about me not coming to work.

  “What do you want,” I ask again.

  “Well when you left in such a hurry yesterday and didn’t come to work, I got worried,” he said trying to look around at my apartment behind me.

  I shut the door a little bit and said, “Why didn’t you just call.”

  His eyes returned to my face and something flashed in his eyes that I’d never seen before; but it disappeared so quickly that I thought I might have imagined it.

  “I was in the neighborhood,” he said. I knew he was lying, because should be at work right about now.

  “You were,” I say.

  “Yes I really wanted to see you.”

  “Why? You see me everyday at work. Why would you need to come to my house unannounced to see me,” I ask hoping he will tell me what he really wants.

  Now he is wringing his hat in his hands in front of me, and looking at me like he wanted to say something but couldn’t.

  “Well you see all of these months that you’ve been working for me, I’ve had this massive crush on you.”

  “I can’t I’m pregnant,” I say.

  “No listen. I know and I’m willing to still be with you and help you with the babies,” he says stepping closer to the door.

  Oh no.

  “But I still love him,” I say.

  I feel Carrick’s hand on my back and my boss stepped closer to me. He had a mean look on his face.

  “You love who, the man who left you to work while you were pregnant.”

  I could feel Carrick stiffen behind me, and start for the door. I assume to have words with my boss, but I stop him by pushing back on the hand he had on my back.

  “It’s none of your business why I’m doing what I’m doing. I’ve never felt anything for you other than friendship. I’m thankful for the job you’ve given me, but I don’t want anything with you. I never will,” I say hoping he gets the point.

  “Oh really,” he says.

  “Yes,” I answer.

  “Well I wonder what your guy would say if I called him and told him that you don’t love him; and that you have been trying to talk to me everyday at work,” he says with a deranged look in his eyes.

  I gasped at his words. I never imagined that someone could be so cruel; and for what, because he likes and I love someone else. As if him doing this would make me want to be with him.

  “Why would you lie like that,” I say.

  “I’d do anything to get between those sweet creamy thighs of yours,” he says and steps even closer to me, and puts his hand on my shoulder.

  I jerk away and Carrick opens the door and moves me back into the house.

  “Look get the fuck away from here and don’t ever come back,” Carrick says.

  “Well who the hell are you?”

  “I’m her man, soon to be husband,” Carrick says matter of factly.

  “So your the one who likes to leave pregnant woman to work all day. I’d never do that to her,” my boss says, looking my way.

  Carrick caught that and I could feel him getting more and more upset, all the while trying not to show it to my boss.

  “Leave now,” Carrick says again.

  “No,” my boss says.

  “Ok,” Carrick says then turns to me and says to me, “Go inside and get dressed; I’ll be along shortly.”

  I glance at my grinning boss then back at Carrick. I’m not really worried, because I know Carrick will be ok. He can take care of himself. So I brushed my lips across his and turned and walked back to my room. Carrick shut the door behind me.

  I could hear Carrick and my boss talking through the door. There was also a lot of shouting, mostly from my boss. There was also some bumping around. I was inclined to go out there and see what was going on, but I knew that Carrick wouldn't like that. Plus I’m very pregnant; so I probably would be more of a hindrance than a help.

  So I went into my room and grabbed the clothes that I picked out earlier and walked into the bathroom; turning on the shower. Just as I was about to step into the shower I hear Carrick saying, “So you were going to start without me.”

  I turn and see him stripping his clothes off and walking up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. I look him over, wondering what happened out there when I left; was he ok?

  “Marissa baby, I’m ok.”

  “What happened when I left.”

  “Nothing much. I had to impress upon him that he wasn’t welcomed anywhere around my fiancé,” he says grinning and kissing me softly.

  “Hey, I never said that I would still marry you,” I say through his kiss. He steps back and looks as if he is wounded.

  “Really. You don’t want to be my love. You don’t want to wake up to my kisses every morning,” he says.

  I know what he’s doing. Yes I want to marry him. I still love him. I can’t imagine living without him, but what if he hurts me again. I mean I guess technically he wasn’t the one who was trying to cheat. But he put himself in the situation to be taken advantage of. I don’t know if I could handle something like that again. I don’t know what to say.

  “Carrick you know I want to marry you,” I say and go to say more, but he plants a kiss on my lips that would have brought me to my knees if Carrick didn’t put his arms around me.

  “So its settled. You’re marrying me and moving back to our place today,” he says then kisses me again, and turns and walks out the bathroom. Leaving me standing there by myself half stunned.

  “What just happened,” I think.

  How did things turn out like this so fast? I was hoping that he meant all those things he told my boss, but I didn’t want to hold my breath. Can I really marry Carrick and move into his house in Back Bay with him? It probably wouldn’t be that bad. I mean I do love him and he says he loves me. Now that I know that he doesn’t want Evelyn, I think I will be ok; happy with Carrick, raising our sweet babies together.

  Yes, things will be perfect.

  I then quickly get into that shower and wash myself, then get out and dry off. After I swiftly got dressed and put on a pair of doc marten’s, I walk out into the parlor to see if Carrick is ready. When I walk out there he is sitting back on the sofa with his hands behind his head and his eyes are closed.

  “Carrick, are you ready,” I say softly in his ear, then gently nibbling on his earlobe.

  “Ummmm.., Baby if you don’t stop I’m gonna have to bend you over my knee and spank you,” Carrick says with a grin on his face. He then grabs my hand and ushers me around my small sofa, and sits me down on his lap.

  “Thank you for being you. I love you,” Carrick says as he tenderly kisses me on the lips. I melt into him, putting my arms around his neck.

  “Carey baby, I love you. Please don’t hurt me again, I don’t think my heart could take it,” I say while kissing down his neck.

  “Never,” he breaths.

  Knock Knock Knock

  “Who can that be?”

  “Oh That’s just my driver, he is here to help with your things,” Carrick says.

  “But I just, I don’t know,” I say looking around my barely there apartment.

  “Just get your most important things to take with us; I have someone who will be here directly to put anything else you want to keep into storage.”

  “But,” I say.

  He holds my face in his hands so I am looking directly at him and says, “Marissa I love you, but I don’t want you to do anything that you don’t want to do,” then he kisses the corner of my mouth.

  This man obviously loves me. I don’t think that he would purposely hurt me, and I know that he truly loves me. But will other people st
ay out of our lives enough for us to be happy? If they don’t, do I love him enough to stay and deal with it? Yes. I do love him. I can’t live my life without him.

  “Carrick I love you. Yes I want to go with you,” I say then hug him tightly.

  Knock Knock Knock

  “Mr Callahan, are you in there?”

  I hear from the other side of the door.

  “I think I should get that,” he says then gets up off the sofa and walks over to the door, looking out the peephole before opening the door.

  “Hello Mr. MacMurry.”

  “Are you ready Sir,” he asks Carrick?

  “Yes, why don’t you just wait for us downstairs. We will be with you shortly.”

  Mr MacMurry nods then turns and walks back down the stairs.

  “Um Yes. Can you grab all of the pictures in here, and there is a drawer over there behind the sofa. Everything in there has to go,” I say then grab a large suitcase from the hallway closet.

  “I’ll be in my room getting the rest of my things,” I say then turn and go to my room; trying to get together everything that will surely be the beginning of our lives together.

  Chapter 15 (Carrick)

  After watching Marissa’s hips sway all of the way back to her room, I quickly turn around and get all of the pictures off of the mini tv stand. There were two hanging up on the wall. Both of her when she was younger. Making my way over to the drawer I start by emptying out the first drawer. There was two big photo albums, and a yellow envelope that felt like it was filled with papers. The second drawer had baby shirts, baby booties, a few baby bottles, bibs, and many different color sleepers. The last drawer has the leopard print purple bikini and my shirt and the pants she was wearing when she stepped off of the yacht back here in Boston, all those months ago.

  I can’t believe she kept all this. Oh did I hurt her. I hate that I hurt her so deep. Please let her know that I love her. I hope that I can show her how much see means to me.

  I hear a door opening and Marissa walking out of her room with another massive suitcase; rolling it back out and into the parlor.

  “Here let me get that,” I say jumping up and grabbing it from her hands.

  “I can do that,” she says grinning and shaking her head.

  “Can you just make sure I got everything. I’m going to take this down to the car. I’ll be right back,” I say as I walked out of the door.

  I’m gone for no more than a few minutes, putting the suitcase in the trunk of the car, calling mom and telling her that we were on our way back to my place; then I made my way back up the stairs to her house.

  “Marissa babe, are you ready to go,” I say pushing open the door to her apartment.

  When I step inside the suitcase was open and the stuff from inside was strewn all over the parlor, and Marissa was no where in sight. So I begin looking in every closet and room, while calling out to her. Upon coming to the door that lead to her room I could hear a man’s voice yelling.

  “Bitch you just had to go and forgive him. I was good to you.”

  I couldn’t listen to more. I kicked to door open to find Marissa sitting on the edge of the bed, with tears streaming down her face; and her boss towering over her, with a crazed look on his face.

  “What the hell are you doing,” I say pushing past him, and going to her side to help her up.

  “I’m doing what I should have done a long time ago. I’m showing this bitch what it feels like to be in pain,” her boss says; and before I could think he hauled off and open hand smacked Marissa across the face.

  She fell back onto the bed. I was on her boss pounding his face in. I took out all of my frustrations on him and his face. He got some hits in as we tussled around on the floor of her bedroom. But in the end I had to be pulled off of him by none other than Mr. MacMurry. After he pulled me off of him and we secured his hands behind his back; he explained to me that when I didn’t come back down with the other bag right away, he came up to see what was taking so long. That when he got into the house and saw all the stuff thrown around the parlor, he called the police. Then came back to Marissa’s room and pulled Marissa’s boss and I apart.

  “Carrick, I can’t believe this is happening to me. Why would he do this? What is wrong with me that everyone in my life insists on hurting me,” Marissa says through muffled cries.

  Oh how I want to take all of the pain away from her. Not only did her boss betray her by putting his hands on her when she didn’t like him how he liked her; but I feel like I had a part in it also. I don’t ever want to be a pain for her.

  “Marissa, I love you. You are and will never be the cause of someone else’s craziness. Some people just like to be the cause of pain for others,” I say.

  She looks up at me with sad eyes; she was about to say something but she just cries and turns her head away from me. I cup her face and turn her head back around to face me.

  “Honey, I know that I have been the cause of some your pain. But believe me when I say I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you; how much you have made me who I’ve always wanted to be. I feel loved and like the luckiest man alive. Please let me love you,” I say looking into her sweet sweet eyes.

  She looked so unsure as she stared up at me. I could see many emotions playing out on her face as she was thinking about what I said to her. She didn’t say anything though. She just laid her head on my shoulder and held me tight.

  I knew then that she was putting her heart in my hands; and I would do all that I could to love and protect it. Because I know that if I were to do anything to break her trust again she would never forgive me. So I pick her up, cradle her in my arms, and get up and carry her out of the apartment and into the waiting car; but only after locking up her apartment.

  After I placed her into the car and shut the door Mr. MacMurry spoke to me over the top of the car.

  “Is the young lady ok? Do we need to take her to a hospital to get checked out?”

  “No, I think she is ok. But to be safe will you call Dr. O’Bryan and let him know that we will be at the house directly, and we need for him to come and check up on her,” I insist.

  He taps the top of the car and we both get inside and are off. Marissa groans as soon as I shut the door and sit next to her.

  “Marissa,” I whisper.

  She didn’t answer, so I again bundle her up into me and hold her now sleeping form as we drove to the house.

  ~~~~~~

  “Carrick, stop pacing back and forth like that. She will be ok. She’s in there with Dr. O’Bryan. You know that he will take good care of her and those babies,” My Mom said squeezing my shoulders.

  I know that I should be listening to her, but my stomach was in knots thinking about how Marissa’s stupid ass ex-boss slapped her; and how she fell on the bed. I know she feel back on her bottom, but I’m still a little worried that something could have happened to her or the babies. She was plenty tired after all of that craziness happened. If it’s anything other than her being extremely sleepy, I think I’d go completely nuts.

  Just then the door to her room here at our house opened and the good doctor walks out.

  “Doctor, please tell me she’s ok,” I plead grabbing onto his forearm.

  His hand goes to mine, prying my fingers loose.

  “Carrick, there’s nothing to worry about. I checked and all the babies’ heartbeat’s were nice and strong.”

  “Marissa,” I say.

  “She perfect too, other than a little bruise on her cheek. She was very tired so I gave her a mild sedative to calm her down, and let her get some much needed rest,” Dr. O’Bryan said.

  “Will that hurt the babies,” I ask?

  He looks at me incredulously and says, “No.”

  He begins talking to mom, but I didn’t stay around to hear what he was saying. I needed to see Marissa. So I quietly peek around the door and see her sleeping peacefully; with the covers pulled up under her chin. The lights were all the way dow
n low, and there was some soft music playing in the background. Really it wasn’t music, but more like water noises. I guess it’s nice and peaceful if you like that kind of thing. I go to her side and sit down beside the bed in a chair that was beside it; probably the one Dr. O’Bryan used. Then I take her hand in mine and bring her fingers up to my lips, softly kissing her knuckles.

  “Marissa, Honey I know your sleeping, but I love you and I’m here for you,” I say.

  She stirred a little in are sleep, but she didn’t wake up. I just so thankful that she is finally back home with me and she is ok. I love her.

  My mom then came into the room and stood beside me.

  “Carrick, I think you should go and try to get some sleep now that we know that Marissa and the babies are ok.”

  “I think I’d like to just sit here with Marissa and wait until she wakes up,” I say matter-of- factly.

  My mom is shaking her head as she speaks, “No, you look worse than she does. If you don’t go get sleep you won’t be any good to her when she does finally wake. You’ll be too tired to do anything.”

  I know she is right, but I don’t want to leave Marissa’s side.

  “Now go. I’ll stay with her, and if I think she is going to wake I will send someone to get you,” My mom says.

  I look at mom then at Marissa.

  “I guess so, mom,” I say leaning down to kiss her on the top of her head. I lean down and give Marissa a kiss on her cheek before I reluctantly turn and leave out the room and going into the study.

  I know that I was supposed to be going and having a nice long sleep, but I need a drink first. When I get to the study and pour myself a glass of brandy, I sink into the leather sofa just as the gulp of brandy was warming my whole body.

  Aaah, I needed that. I continue to drink and pour more and more brandy into my glass. Before I knew it I was properly sloshed and felt myself drifting of to sleep.

  I was woke up by the most delicious feeling. A warm wet mouth was thoroughly massaging the length of me. I see that Marissa is feeling much better. My hand goes to her head and I moan, “Marissa baby, your mouth feels so good on me like that.”