Blue Saturn

by Jay, Libby

  “Oh my goodness,” I whisper.

  “Get used to it, Lynd’s.” Gavin slips an arm around my shoulder and pulls me in close to him. “Smile and enjoy the ride.”

  As we walk out, a few camera’s flash and Gavin say’s ‘G’day’ to a few of the photographers. He shakes hands with one of them. Then he continues to walk to the waiting van and waits until I’m inside before climbing in after me. “Watch this.”

  The words are barely past his lips when Mike exits the hotel carrying Mikey on his hip. The photographers go crazy. Lights flash and they’re all calling out to Mikey.

  And it would seem that Mikey is a natural. He smiles and waves and after a few seconds he laughs. Mike greets a few photographers by name and then reminds a few more to keep back. But through the whole ordeal he’s smiling and relaxed.

  I find myself laughing.

  Mike whispers to Mikey before putting his hand up for a ‘high five.’ Mikey smiles and looks at his father before slapping his hand. The flashing escalates as everyone captures the moment.

  “Thanks guys, but we gotta go.” Mike waves again before walking to the van and lifting Mikey in. Once Mike is in, Wayne closes the door.

  “Wow,” I say as I lift Mikey into his seat and start buckling him in. “I should’ve just done that yesterday.”

  Mike smiles. “No you shouldn’t have. I would be really pissed if you had. I like that you tried to protect Mikey.” He winks at me and turns to face the front.

  Gavin laughs when he sees my cheeks turning pink. “Bloody Greene,” he murmurs and shakes his head.

  I shake my head with him. Michael Greene just made me blush.

  10.

  It’s hot. Well, hot by a Melbournians standards for springtime. We’re in Brisbane, staying at the most spectacular apartment in the heart of the city.

  As in Sydney, Mikey and I are sharing a penthouse apartment with Mike. But this apartment is...wow! It has three bedrooms, each one with its own ensuite bathroom. And the rooms are huge, massive, with views of the city. Each bedroom has its own private balcony (I’m assuming Mike’s room does also but don’t know for sure because I haven’t been in there).

  The kitchen and living area are so spacious that even with Mikey’s collection of toys, it still seems uncluttered. There’s a laundry, which I’ll have to use today or tomorrow and...wait for it... a media room. Not just a living room with a TV but a separate media room with a massive screen and six recliners.

  I am loving this. It’s a shame we’re only going to be here for a week before we go to New Zealand. I could happily live here forever.

  “Hey,” Mike says as I open up one of the doors to the balcony. “I was wondering if you wanted the night off.”

  I turn around and smile. My scheduled day off is tomorrow and I’m hoping there won’t be a catch to having tonight off. “Are you sure?”

  “Definitely,” he says with certainty.

  A night off sounds perfect. “Thanks Mike, I appreciate it.”

  “Take tomorrow off too. Go out. Go shopping or whatever you like to do.”

  I bite my lip to stifle my smile but my lip pops out from between my teeth. “I’m not much of a shopper, but...thanks Mike.”

  “Don’t mention it.” He steps out onto the balcony and pulls a cigarette from its pack. He lights it and draws in a deep breath. “So, what do you like to do?”

  “Me?” I ask, surprised that he’s asking.

  “Yes, you. And please don’t say you like to read or watch movies or anything boring like that.”

  I laugh. “Okay, I like to run,” I start.

  “No one likes to run.” He inhales two lungs worth of smoke. “Continue.”

  “I like to do Origami.”

  He nods. “Gavin won’t shut up about the guitar you made him.”

  I cringe that Gavin has been showing people my artwork, but at the same time I find it endearing. “I like to fish.”

  “What do you mean you like to fish?”

  “I like going fishing.”

  “You like fishing?”

  “Yeah. I haven’t been out for a while, but I used to do it all the time.” My step father used to take my step brother and I out all the time, before my mum died.

  “Interesting.” He puts the cigarette between his lips again, but this time he doesn’t inhale. He pulls it out and butts it out on the hand railing, before putting it into the ashtray on the table. “Well, you can head out any time you’re ready.”

  “Thanks.” I head inside and up to my room, where I fish out my running clothes and decide that I’ll do one of the things I truly love to do, despite Mike’s opinion.

  Gavin is in the living room when I come out from the bedroom. “Where are you going?” he asks.

  “For a run. I have the night and tomorrow free to myself.”

  “Do you want some company?”

  “I don’t know Gav. I want to do a full ten k run today.”

  He narrows his eyes at me. “Very funny. Give me ten minutes to change. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

  I find Mike out on the balcony with Mikey. They’re having a snack, potato chips and orange juice. I couldn’t think of a worse combination, but they seem to be enjoying the concoction.

  “I’m heading off for a run. I’ll be back in about an hour.”

  “Bye Indsy.” Mikey shoves another chip into his mouth.

  Mike lifts his hand in farewell without looking at me.

  Gavin keeps pace and he lasts the entire ten k’s. We run along the river, enjoying the late afternoon sun on us. As we approach the hotel, we slow and start taking deep breaths. I’m violently aware of the fact that I’m sweating and I know my dark blue shirt most likely has sweat patches on my back and tummy and under my arms, but Gavin is sweating too, so I don’t feel so self conscious.

  “What are you going to do tonight?” Gavin asks me.

  “I don’t know. I might see a movie or something. I haven’t really thought about it.”

  “Would you like to have dinner with me?”

  I stop and look up at him and he’s looking down at me. His invitation seems way too formal for a casual dinner and the last thing I want is to be sending the wrong message to him. I like Gavin, but he’s not the sort of guy I want to be involved with. Heck, I don’t want to be involved with anyone.

  “Gavin,” I start. “I don’t think we should...”

  He holds up his hand. “Lynd’s. As much as I like you, it’s simply an invitation for dinner. Nothing more. I’m not after anything long term and you deserve more than a one night stand.” He smiles.

  “Well, in that case, yes, I’d like to have dinner with you.”

  “Cool. I’ll pick you up at seven. And if you’re really lucky, I’ll let you choose which colour I should dye my hair.”

  “Again? You only just changed it.”

  “New city, new colour.” He opens the door to the hotel. “After you.”

  I have no idea where we will be eating dinner, and the nicest outfit I have is jeans, shirt and jacket, so I have no choice but to go with that. I don’t normally wear makeup. I was blessed with beautiful dark skin – my biological father was Italian – and like my mother my complexion is flawless. It’s the thing I love about me the most. I just wish my back wasn’t so patchy.

  But because I’m going out with a “celebrity” tonight and I’ve suddenly become aware of the fact that we might be photographed, I decide to wear a little mascara to thicken my lashes and a pale pink lipstick.

  “Where are you going tonight?” Mike asks when I enter the living area.

  “Just dinner. Maybe a movie.” Gavin and I didn’t make plans beyond dinner.

  “It takes guts to eat alone in a restaurant.”

  “I’m going out with Gavin,” I say before it registers with me that Mike might have a problem with it.

  But he seems relieved. “Good. I hope you have a good time.”

  “Thanks Mike. I’m sure I will.”

&n
bsp; He picks up his beer bottle and takes a mouthful. “Do you like him?”

  “Gavin? Of course I like him. He’s the only one who’s been nice to me since day one.” And as soon as I say it I regret it.

  “Fair enough.” Mike takes another mouthful of beer as the doorbell to the apartment rings.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say.

  “You’re not coming back here tonight?” Mike asks, that infamous grin spreading across his face.

  “I’ll be back tonight. But I can’t say what time.”

  Mike laughs. “Go. Have a good time with my best mate. Make sure he pays for your dinner. He can be a real tight arse.”

  “Thanks for the tip. Anything else I should know?”

  “Yeah, he has a small dick.”

  I laugh because that was not what I was expecting him to say. I shake my head and turn toward the door. “And for some strange reason it doesn’t surprise me that you’re in possession of that intimate piece of information.” I open the apartment door and quickly close it behind me.

  Gavin is a complete gentleman. Not only did he pay for our taxi, but he has opened every door for me and held my chair out when being seated at the restaurant.

  We are at a moderately fancy bistro. If Gavin wasn’t the bass player in a well known rock band, I don’t think our attire would’ve been adequate for this restaurant. Gavin is wearing black jeans and a red and black short sleeved checked flannel shirt. He’s wearing thongs on his feet. His hair is still blue, although the colour has started to fade a bit. He’s definitely named dropped when making the reservation. He looks a little out of place, but doesn’t seem to notice. And it certainly doesn’t bother me.

  Gavin telling me a few horror stories about Mikey’s first days with them. Apparently, he ate half a cigarette and ended up with a small dose of nicotine poisoning which passed after a few hours, he got lazy in the toilet department and started ‘pissing and crapping’ on the floor and he ran away.

  “What do you mean he ran away?” I ask.

  “We found him about three blocks from Mike’s house at the park, sitting up a tree with his blanket,” Gavin explains. “Mike had to climb up and carry him down over his shoulder, full fire man style.”

  “Poor thing.” I take a sip of my water.

  “I don’t think he was given a bath the whole time. You’ve worked wonders with him. Who knows, I might even get you in to help out with my kid.”

  I smile. “I think you’ve made all the mistakes with Mikey so you’ll know what to do and what not to do with your girl.”

  “Hopefully.” Gavin takes a deep breath and breathes out slowly. “It terrifies me.”

  “Fatherhood?”

  “I have a little girl. When I think about what men...I can’t think about it.”

  “You’ll protect her from people like...well you.” I laugh.

  He laughs too. “That poor kid will end up locked in a closet until she’s forty.” He takes a mouthful of his gnocchi and chews. “What about you? You obviously don’t have any kids but, what about in the future. Would you like to have kids?”

  I shake my head slowly. “I don’t think so. I’m not really the sort of person who...” Who should what? Have children? Have a relationship with anyone? Would I be a good mother? I don’t know. “I think I’ll just mind other people’s kids, get my fix and hand them back when I’ve had enough.”

  Gavin’s eyes have narrowed at me. He knows I’m keeping secrets. But he doesn’t ask me to elaborate. “Sounds good.”

  Dessert arrives and we’re both full from entrees and dinner, but the dessert cart was too hard to pass up. We’re sharing a large serving of Tiramisu.

  “Do you reckon Mike would leave Mikey with me here while you guys went to New Zealand without us?” I ask.

  “Why don’t you want to come to New Zealand?”

  I shrug. “Time difference. It’ll throw Mikey out by two hours and the flight is long and...” and I’ve run out of fake excuses. I can’t tell Gavin the real reason why I don’t want to go back. I’ve worked so hard to put New Zealand behind me. I really don’t want to go back there.

  “I think he’d like you to come. He’s kinda fond of you, and the little man. I don’t think he’d buy into your reasons not to come.”

  I smile. “Didn’t think so.”

  The bill comes to the table and Gavin pulls out a black credit card. “Mike’s shout,” he says smiling proudly.

  I laugh and shake my head. He really is a tight arse.

  The night is still young and we decide to walk back to the hotel. Gavin has been recognised by a few fans and is posing for photos with them. I’m standing off in the background, watching.

  He laughs with them and smiles modestly, accepting their praise. He gives one of the young girls a kiss and then laughs when she screams in hysterical bouts of joy. The whole scene makes me smile.

  He is a real star.

  He thanks his fans, shaking hands and accepting embraces before joining me.

  “Sorry,” he apologises.

  “Don’t apologise. It’s all part of the job.”

  “Some days I love it, other days I hate it.”

  “Which sort of day is today?”

  “I’m loving today.” He puts his arm around my shoulder as we walk away. “I’m really glad you decided to stay Lyndsay.”

  “So am I, Gavin.”

  “The change in Mike is unbelievable.”

  “I know. He’s come a long way in the past few weeks. He’s adorable.”

  “Adorable?” Gavin asks, looking down at me.

  “Yeah, why not?”

  “Well, I wouldn’t have expected you to call him adorable. But...”

  I sigh an exaggerated breath. “You mean Mike.” Then I laugh. “He’s not adorable. I was referring to Mikey.”

  Gavin laughs with me. “That makes more sense.” We stop to cross a street. “But you’ve noticed the change in Mike, right?”

  “He’s been in a better mood these past few days.”

  “That’s all you’ve noticed?”

  “His shift in mood has been all consuming. I can’t see past it.”

  “You haven’t noticed, have you?”

  “Noticed what?” I look up at him, shaking my head.

  “Nothing,” Gavin says quietly before taking my hand to cross the street.

  I think about Gavin’s words as we silently walk back to the hotel. Other than his better mood, what has changed? There have been no drunken parties for one. No women staggering around half naked. I haven’t seen him drink more than one or two beers at a time. He’s been coming home early, rising early in the morning. He’s been laughing and smiling and conversational. He’s taken an interest in Mikey. And if I’m being completely honest, he’s even taken an interest in me, to a degree.

  “Why the sudden change?” I say when I meant to only think it.

  “I thought that’d be pretty obvious,” Gavin replies.

  “For Mikey.”

  Gavin looks down at me and frowns. “Yeah, for Mikey.”

  Gavin walks me to the door of our apartment.

  “Thank you for a great night out, Gavin,” I say as I open the door to our apartment.

  “It was a pleasure, Lyndsay.” His eyes dart to look over my shoulder before he smiles and lowers his lips to my cheek, kissing me softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Good night.” Before he gets into the lift, I call out to him. “Purple.”

  He turns and looks at me. “What?”

  “You should dye your hair purple.”

  He laughs. “Purple it is.”

  When I turn around and close the door, Mike is standing at the entrance to the living area.

  “You’re home early,” he says.

  “Yeah, we skipped the movie, there wasn’t anything good showing.”

  I follow Mike into the living area and sit down on the couch. My feet feel a little sore from walking. If I’d have known we were going to walk hom
e, I would’ve worn my flat shoes. I slip my shoes off and tuck my knees up under my chin, hugging my legs. “Did you have a nice evening?” I ask Mike.

  “It was quiet. Mikey went to bed at seven, no worries.”

  “Good.” I smile.

  “Did you have a nice dinner?”

  “It was very nice. I ate too much though.”

  Mike smiles. “Did Gavin pay?”

  I laugh quietly. “I believe you did.”

  Mike rolls his eyes. “I told ya he was a tight arse.”

  We sit in silence for a few long moments before Mike speaks. “Do you have another job lined up for after you leave us?”

  “No I haven’t.”

  “Would you think about coming to the UK with us? We’ll be there for about a week, I think. We’ll renegotiate your contract. You’ll get paid for it.”

  “I’ll have to think about it.” Not that I don’t want to go. I’d love to but the past few weeks have been so up and down for me, I don’t know how I’d feel extending the emotional roller coaster.

  But then there’s Mikey. He needs someone who loves him to look after him while his father can’t be there for him. And I do love that kid. I’d do it for him.

  I look at Mike sitting on the other end of the couch. “I’ll seriously think about it.”

  “Thanks.” He gets up off the couch. “Can I get you a drink?” he asks. “A beer? Wine?”

  “I’ll take a glass of water please.”

  Mike hands me a bottle of water and sits down again. He twists the lid from his beer and rolls it between his fingers. “So what’s your deal?” he asks me.

  “My deal? I don’t have a deal.” I defensively straighten my posture.

  “Yes you do. You’re twenty five years old and choose to look after other people’s kids. You don’t drink. You like to run.” He rolls his eyes again. “What’s your deal?”

  “I don’t have a deal, Mike.” I take a sip of water. I’m about to stand up to go to bed when Mike speaks again.

  “You wanna know what my deal is?” He doesn’t look at me when he says it. He looks ahead at the TV. And he doesn’t wait for me to answer. “My deal is that I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do but I’m too damn stupid, high or drunk to appreciate it.” He takes a mouthful of his beer. “My deal is that I’ve let the fame and privileges go to my head and I don’t give a damn about the things that are real anymore. My deal is that I’m terrified that one day all my legions of fans are going to wake up and think, ‘jeez, he sings no better than the next guy’ and I’ll lose it all. And my deal is that you see straight through all my bull crap to the scared little man I am on the inside.”