Shifting Darkness

by Kate Wendley

  He refused to think of a possible life as a husband and father when he couldn’t even pull himself out of bed some days. And Penny tried her best to be supportive when he was too tired to do anything with her, but she was closed off around him at those times. He could see it in her eyes and feel it in the way she hesitated to give him a hug and kiss goodbye. She didn’t want a sickly boyfriend any more than he wanted to be one, and he didn’t blame her one bit.

  Chapter 20

  Full moon night was a big event in Brookhaven. Vince was used to his mom discreetly leaving on these nights, but people here excitedly met up, asked each other who they were going with, where they’d meet, what clothes and blankets they’d bring with, and then they all left en masse.

  It was usually the loneliest, most depressing night of the month for him because after his mom took off he’d be all alone to go through the hell that his hybrid magic, no scratch that, his handicapped magic and sickly body always put him through.

  Tonight might be different for him, and it made him anxious to think of what things might be like once he was healed. Tonight could be the start of a whole new life…

  He rode with Zach, Ed and his mom to the ranch. He was anxious, nervous, and all around terrified about what was about to happen. His worst nightmare was that nothing would happen. Zach wouldn’t be able to make him shift and then he’d be in the midst of thousands of actual shifters transforming before his eyes into their awesome animals.

  They’d also be out of ideas for how he could heal himself.

  He was tense and only got more so over the forty minutes it took to get to the wild land where they could safely shift and run around. Actually, everyone was a little jumpy and edgy, which only made him all the more anxious.

  Zach broke from his conversation with Ed and said, “It’ll be fine, Vince. You’re going to be fine.”

  He frowned. He didn’t like Zach sensing so much about his emotions. He turned away, watching the passing trees and cars instead of telling Zach where to shove it. He had no idea if things would be fine. Zach’s life already was fine, Vince was the one who would have to deal with a permanently bleak future if this didn’t work.

  **

  They finally pulled off onto a muddy road, making their way to a large, patchy lot where a bunch of people were already parked. They got out and walked past the cars, Anthony and his look alike father already waiting for them.

  Vince stopped and stared at the crowd that spread out absolutely everywhere and didn’t want to be here anymore. There were too many people who would see him struggling to shift. He turned back towards the cars, unable to get enough air into his lungs.

  “Honey, what’s wrong?”

  He strode away from his mom, her obvious concern just making him mad. Everyone saw him as a science project, something to study and worry about, someone that couldn’t do anything for themselves. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want everyone to see that he wasn’t even a fully capable man.

  He closed his eyes and calmed his breathing, sensing someone other than his mom standing silently beside him. He took a big breath and smelled both Zach and Anthony. He opened his eyes, startled that he couldn’t feel Anthony standing right in front of him. He could only smell him. Maybe he was more handicapped than he thought he was.

  He scowled and needlessly snapped, “I don’t want an audience.”

  Zach looked to Anthony, who watched Vince with fathomless eyes. “I have the ability to make you unseen. And unheard. Your audience can be as large or small as you like.”

  His racing pulse started to calm. “Really?”

  He nodded once, his inhuman expression firmly in place as he stood still as a spooky statue, and giving off about as much natural body heat.

  “So you know about my condition?”

  Anthony blinked, then went completely still again. Vince had seen him do that a number of times now, but still got the creeps every time.

  A pressure quickly built in the air, and then the sounds of the night went silent.

  Anthony made a vague gesture with his hand. “I’ve put a sound barrier around us for privacy. To answer your question, I do my best to keep tabs on everyone in the family, and especially those that live beneath my roof. Your mother went to great pains over the years to try to get help for you, and I’ve assured her we’d do everything we possibly could. So yes, I’m aware of your condition. For some reason you haven’t had your first shift yet, and the resulting suppression is making you constantly ill.”

  He frowned. “I’m always tired and sick because I can’t shift?”

  Anthony and Zach exchanged a look before he turned his attention back on Vince. “It’s my theory. The doctor’s not quite sure he agrees with me. I’m obviously not shifter, but I’ve been alive far longer than the doctor and have lived amidst shifters for well over two hundred years. Needless to say, I’m confident of my judgement in the matter. How do you feel right now?”

  “I have a headache.”

  “Is that all?”

  He frowned. “I’m anxious and I itch all over.”

  Anthony didn’t react to his comment other than to say, “I appreciate that you’re uncomfortable with the situation. I’ll do my best to not make the night even more uncomfortable.”

  “You’re staying here all night?”

  He cocked his head in an eerie way. “You’re family now, so I’ll stay as long as needed to make sure you’re safe.”

  Huh. This man wasn’t even his own kind, but he’d have his back. That was a nice feeling, something Vince had no experience with besides with his mom. The burden of his care could finally come off her shoulders, and maybe off Vince’s shoulders, too. If they could heal him.

  “Thanks man.”

  Excitement burned inside him once again. He wanted to do this. He wanted to heal. Now.

  As if sensing his suddenly urgent need to get on with it, Anthony said, “Zach, if you would lead us to where you’d like to begin the night.”

  **

  They ended up a good ten minute walk away from the parking lot, and with only a small group along. Zach, Ed, Anthony, and his father, Isaiah. That was it. He didn’t know Isaiah very well, but if this all went to hell he’d need vampire help to get safely home since all the shifters would be running around as their animals.

  Zach had asked if Bobbi could be here, to have more jaguar energy around, but he really, really didn’t want to be doing this in front of women. He was embarrassed enough that all these dudes were going to see him trying his hardest to do something he should be able to naturally do. He didn’t want to be worried about his modesty in front of the opposite sex, and that included his mother.

  He’d even lied to Penny about where he’d be tonight, so he just wanted this over with before she found out he had no animal. If she was disgusted and unsure how she felt about him just being shaky and tired all the time, she for sure wouldn’t want to know that he wasn’t even a whole shifter.

  He wasn’t a whole man, at least not yet. And if he couldn’t shift, he’d have to let her go because he’d never be able to be what she wanted. He’d never be what he wanted to be for her.

  They stopped walking, and after Anthony assured him that he’d put his sound barrier up again, and all the sounds of the night went quiet, he stripped down to the loose shorts he’d worn under his baggy sweat pants.

  Time to get this show on the road.

  **

  Penny was too warm in the cool night air. Her coyote wanted out and it wanted out now. She shut the SUV door and was getting ready to hustle off to her usual shifting spot when Suzanne stopped her. “Where’s your honey?”

  She kept her eyes on the forest beyond as she pursed her lips. “He said his mom wanted to shift with him tonight.”

  “Charlotte, right? That lady right over there?”

  Penny automatically glanced where she pointed, then looked all around for Vince. When it was obvious he was nowhere in sight, she couldn’t bring herself to see th
e look on Suzanne’s face.

  “I’ll kick his ass for you.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” Penny’d already had a feeling he was lying to her today, she just wasn’t sure why he would. Maybe his shift was painful and shaky, just like he was a lot. Whatever his reason, he obviously didn’t want to share important things about himself with her. Once again she wasn’t the girl guys wanted to get serious with. She was the girl they fooled around with and strung along until they found someone better.

  But she also guiltily wondered if the times that everything was great between them would ever outweigh the times that she didn’t find him so sexy as he stumbled, dropped things, and was shaky, tired and outright sick. She felt like a horrible person for thinking that way, though, because when he felt good, everything was awesome. They had a similar sense of humor, liked a lot of the same music as each other, and had an easy rapport between them. And damn when he was being sexy…

  But not tonight. Tonight he’d lied to her about where he’d be.

  She looked around for Elsa, a niggling doubt in the back of her mind that maybe he really was with another girl…

  Chapter 21

  “It might be easier if you knelt on the ground. Lots of us do that while we shift.”

  Vince awkwardly followed Zach’s directions, feeling like a fool for being a grown man that had to be told how to do something that even teenagers knew how to do. Hell, for all he knew, the family probably taught children how to shift properly. He’d never felt more out of place than he did tonight, but if it worked, he’d gladly suck up his shame.

  The moon’s energy saturated him out here in the wild night, and especially while he sat with barely any clothes on. It was similar to the crazy anxiousness he felt when he and Penny made love, except this wasn’t a sexual feeling. His entire body just felt ready for action… ready for change.

  When Zach began growling low and deep in his chest, his glowing eyes focused hard and heavy on Vince, his alpha power washed over him and it was all he could do to keep from screaming.

  Zach’s power felt like it was trying to pull every tendon, every muscle, every bone out of his body all at once. Vince’s insides felt like they were tearing themselves apart, and he fought with wanting to wrap his arms around himself to keep himself whole, or stretch his body out to try to fight the cramping and tearing of muscles he could feel and hear happening inside himself.

  He heaved when his stomach literally wrung itself like a washcloth, then decided the hell with trying to stay quiet. He screamed in holy agony, his entire body shaking and sweating worse than he’d ever felt in his whole life. He thought for sure he was going to die and almost didn’t care, so long as the pain stopped.

  **

  All of Anthony’s senses were focused on Vince, though he couldn’t bear to watch him. The jaguar wasn’t whole. Something was missing from his energy, something important to all shifters. What that was, Anthony wasn’t exactly sure, but he felt it.

  He looked around himself, unsettled that he could sense more things every day, things he’d never known where there to be sensed.

  And Zach tried his best, he really did, but Vince was in nothing but pain at his attempts to get him to shift, and it was getting harder and harder for Zach to hold back his own animal at the same time. Anthony could feel it through their blood connection as well as see it in his eyes. They’d turned into his cat eyes almost as soon as he’d thrown power at Vince, and they never turned back.

  Ed had already succumbed to his shift and tried to patiently wait for Zach, but he was nothing but a distraction now. Zach growled in his direction, then gave one more incredible pull of power, but all it did was force more screams of agony from Vince. Anthony was about to tell Zach to stop when he suddenly faltered, then fell to his knees, gasping.

  “I’m sorry Vince. I can’t do anymore. That’s as much as I have in me.”

  It was disconcerting to listen to Vince gasping in pain as he awkwardly shook and trembled, trying uselessly to find comfort. He lay on his side and kept curling into the fetal position only to immediately cry out and straighten his body again. He arched his back as he pawed at the ground, then curled up and held his stomach tightly. He dry heaved as he continued looking like he couldn’t decide whether to lay still or keep moving.

  Anthony said to Zach, “Go. You need to shift. I’ll watch over Vince for the rest of the night and get him home safely. Father, you as well. Feel free to tend to Daphne.”

  Isaiah gave him a tense look, then nodded and excused himself. Gossip was starting that Daphne, his father’s wolf girlfriend that he’d brought home with him after years away from the family, wasn’t happy living in the meager apartments in Brookhaven. Even quieter gossip was that Daphne was starting to spend more time socializing with other wolves, and in particular, Tristan, Anthony’s daytime business assistant. Anthony had never smelled Daphne’s scent on the man, but all that meant was that they hadn’t slept with each other.

  He scowled at those thoughts, not wanting to know so much about people’s personal business, and especially not if it brought pain to his father. They might not be incredibly close, or even see eye to eye on a lot of things, but his father was his true family and because of that, he cared what happened to him.

  Zach looked torn by indecision as he sat on his knees, sweating with exertion from holding back his own shift while he’d tried to force Vince’s out of him. Ultimately, he knew he’d have to transform, so he shakily started stripping out of his clothes. Anthony locked eyes with him, his cat eyes bright and desperate.

  He nodded once. “Go.”

  He grimaced and let his shifter magic pour over him. His muscles quickly morphed and bones popped and snapped as they should. He dropped to all fours, his face shifting shape until a snout and cat ears appeared and, finally, black hair poured over his body as his tail grew. The entire shift took only seconds, though that was because Zach was an alpha and because Zach himself had a special talent for shifting faster than Anthony had ever seen anyone do. Vince looked mesmerized by the sight, and Anthony had to admit it was hard not to be amazed, even after seeing it for so many years.

  Zach’s gleaming black cat stepped forward, pressed his nose to Vince’s shoulder, then raced off into the night.

  Anthony reached down and draped a blanket over Vince’s twitching, shivering body, not sure what else to do to quell the bitter disappointment that now hung thick in the air.

  **

  The full moon’s pull, or maybe Zach’s power as alpha made Vince feel delirious. He wasn’t even sure he saw what he thought he saw when Zach was just suddenly a jaguar. If that was how a shift was supposed to happen, Vince was well and truly handicapped.

  He lost all hope that he’d ever heal once Zach’s cat trotted off. Apparently the blood ritual Zach had done with both him and his mom before they left Brookhaven earlier tonight hadn’t helped his alpha link to Vince, either. Being officially part of the pack didn’t seem to make one bit of difference.

  He curled up in pain, his body uncontrollably shaking and sweating. Every single muscle felt twisted and cramped up one minute, then like he needed to stretch the next. He screamed as the most horrific stomach pains he’d ever had ripped through him, his body feeling like it was eating itself alive.

  Through chattering teeth he managed to get out, “Please don’t let anyone see me like this.”

  “No one can see you. I’m still using my power to conceal us. No one can hear us either.” Anthony’s voice was oddly settling to his nerves.

  “Is that bullshit or is that true?”

  He sounded completely no nonsense when he said, “I’m a Master Vampire, Mr. LaRue. I have many powers.”

  He gasped, “Vince. Call me Vince.”

  “Vince. I can put you in a trance if you like. Then you wouldn’t feel any pain.”

  He whimpered in disbelief. “Would I still have my mind?”

  “No. But it wouldn’t be permanent.”


  “Then no.” His muscles shook in a bad way, but he’d get through this. He’d been laboring through monthly nights of torture for years now. “This’ll pass. I’ll be fine.” But he wasn’t at all certain of that. This time was way different from any other night. This time he’d had the magic of an Alpha Jaguar trying to pull his very soul through his flesh, and this time it felt completely wrong in a way it never had before.

  Anthony startled him from his wandering delusions of souls and men that turned into animals. “I suggest you stay here for a while. Zach wasn’t able to coax your animal out of you, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t still happen on its own. He’s an alpha and his magic is strong, besides that he’s had my blood many times.”

  “So he laid some pretty heavy voodoo on me?”

  “So to speak, yes. Your body is no doubt trying to figure out what to do with all the energy inside you.”

  He made himself stop whimpering and closed his eyes, his face turned up toward the sky. He swore he could feel exactly where the moon was, even through his eyelids. “Talk about something. It’s calming.”

  “My talking is calming?”

  He grunted out through uncontrollable shakes, “It’s distracting. It helps. Tell me about other shifters who’ve had problems over the years.”

  He heard a heavy sigh. “I haven’t seen this issue with any other shifters. At least not for long. Adolescents usually go through this not quite shifting phase of pain and body aches for only a month or two before they finally shift.”