Abandoned Hearts (The Ozark Durham Series)

by Regina Tittel

  “What? She said that, huh?” Jacob pondered her statement before saying, more to himself than Emily, “I wonder why she said that?”

  “Because I asked her, silly,” Emily giggled. “And then I asked her if she liked you a lot and she said, yes!” Emily triumphantly explained.

  Jacob began to understand. He hoped Ann did like him, but from the sounds of things, Emily all but said the words for her. “Can you tell me what else you two talked about?”

  “She used to be a babysitter for a girl named, Amy. She said she was the kind of babysitter that lived with Amy; I forgot what she called it. But I’m older than that girl.” The latter was spoken with pride. “I think Ann should live with us, Daddy. She could be my babysitter.”

  “But you don’t need a babysitter, honey, you have Grandpa and me.”

  “But I need Ann, and she says she really likes kids and I’m a kid, so that’s why she needs to live with us.” She whined her last words.

  Jacob smiled at his daughter’s youthful logic. He could definitely get used to the idea of having Ann around. But before his heart could warm to the idea of a future with her, memories of the past shadowed his happiness.

  Why should he even try? He obviously lacked what it took to keep a woman content, or else he’d still be married.

  Chapter Nine

  Ann watched Jacob and his daughter until they disappeared over the hill. Bubbly sensations tickled inside and tempted her to twirl around with her arms in the air. She laughed at the idea and went inside to straighten up the mess she and Emily made. What a wonderful day this turned out to be. But what happens after this? She’d never thought about that. Living in the moment was fun, but it would eventually come to an end. And what then?

  When finished cleaning up the mess, she turned to take a closer look at the Durham home. It was bigger than she first imagined. Shaped like a “T,” the kitchen entrance opened from the back and joined the living room. A hallway led to two bedrooms and created the top of the “T.”

  She turned her attention to the living room and stood with hands on her hips, perhaps it held answers to Jacob’s past. He’d had a wife. Where was she, had she died? Had they been happy together?

  Surely they had family photos. The room was furnished with an older sofa and recliner on a hardwood floor. She opened the cabinet door on a small side table. a box hid under a pile of old magazines and coloring books. Her eyes darted toward the door. How long had it been since Jacob and Emily rode off?

  Curiosity beckoned her to throw caution to the wind and open the lid. She lifted it an inch and peeked inside. Unable to see, she took a breath of courage and tossed the lid to the side.

  Crayons.

  Disappointment settled in her chest. What had she expected? Repositioning the box the way she found it, she stood and looked around the room.

  A framed print decorated the wall adjacent of the door. A wintry scene displayed a row of saddled horses with two civil war soldiers making their rounds on foot. Ann was familiar with the artist and knew something significant hid in the picture, often in the opposite direction her work naturally led the viewer’s eyes. Ann searched the painting and spotted two Indians that snuck by unseen.

  Perhaps I’m a bit like those Indians. The image didn’t set well. With a defeated sigh, she plopped into the recliner.

  Aha. On top of an end table sat a framed family photo. It looked to be roughly a year old with the children, their Grandpa Luke and most likely, his wife. Ann peered at the woman. A pang of regret swept through her for not having met her. Emily had mentioned she’d passed on. Even through the picture, it appeared the woman possessed a Godly wisdom Ann would’ve benefited from knowing. In the background stood a steeple from a church. It comforted her to think perhaps they attended church on a regular basis.

  Since she already saw the rest of the house, and nothing caught her attention, she ended her search. Nosiness wasn’t her style. At least she had the comfort of the church in the background of the picture. Refocused, she started cleaning.

  Though the house wasn’t cluttered, it lacked a woman’s touch. She trailed her finger across the window seal and noted the layer of dust. A quick search beneath the kitchen sink rewarded her with a can of dusting spray. The chore didn’t last long enough to still her nerves.

  Ann left the clean lemon scent that now filtered through the house and stepped outside. Her shoulders drooped with disappointment. They still hadn’t returned. She sighed and hoped a walk would help control the jitters that continued to build the longer he was gone. Jonquills had already bloomed alongside the house. Many other flowers were leafed out, but without their blooms, she couldn’t identify them. She rounded the corner and saw Luke and Ethan outside. Without hesitation, she followed their beckoning waves to join them and crossed the gravel road.

  Ethan grabbed her hand and pulled her inside his grandparent’s home. He proudly gave her a tour as his grandpa smiled fondly and followed behind.

  Luke’s home held an old-fashioned appeal. Everything was dated, just like it should be. In the main room, faded wall paper hung behind numerous portraits of their small family.

  “You’ll love the upstairs, Ann. You’re short enough you won’t even hit your head on the ceilings.” Ethan bounded up the creaky stairs that led to two small bedrooms with shortened ceilings.

  After their descent, Ann found her favorite room to be the kitchen. An old chrome table and chair set, reminiscent of another era, centered the worn yellow linoleum. Luke opened a painted, plywood cabinet door to retrieve a few glasses.

  “You want some tea?” He filled the glasses while Ann and Ethan took their seats at the table. “This old house has been around far longer than I have.”

  He eyed Ann carefully. “You know, most young couples nowadays wouldn’t dare settle for a place like this. They want all that new and fancy stuff.” He waved a hand at his out-dated cabinets.

  Ann’s gaze followed Luke’s hand before she allowed it to settle back on him. “I’m sure you’re right. But, I wouldn’t be included in that group. I’ve lived in some fancy places and they not only lack the charm that your home affords, they also lack the contentment I feel here. And, it makes sense. When families have high, unnecessary mortgages to meet each month, it takes away from the enjoyment of the home.”

  Luke sat back in his chair as though satisfied. Had she correctly answered something that bothered him? He continued the conversation, centering on the life of a farmer. If Ann didn’t know better, Luke was preparing her for what would be expected should she ever find herself as a farmer’s wife. She wasn’t offended by his efforts. She was honored he wanted to prepare her, instead of scare her off. His stories were both honest and amusing, and kept her and Ethan laughing whole heartedly.

  “One of my favorite stories was when Christine, that was my wife’s name, and I were brush-hogging the field. It was before Jacob was born. I guess we’d been married almost a year. We were seated on the tractor together and scared up a batch of baby skunks. Now, if you’d known Christine, you’d know that lady couldn’t turn her back on any of God’s creatures. Naturally, she wanted to catch them so they weren’t left defenseless without any cover. Through some fast talking, she convinced me babies couldn’t spray.

  “I should’ve known better, but being so in love with that woman, I chose to believe her. So, I shut down the tractor and we commenced to chasing those little, striped critters around. We finally got one cornered together, and just as Christine reached to pick it up, it turned its baby tail up and…oh well, you can guess the rest of the story.” Luke chuckled. “Someone from the community would stop by with canned tomato juice each day for the next week!”

  “And that’s why they always canned extra tomatoes each year.” Jacob’s voice surprised them as he stepped into the kitchen. Emily bounded onto Ann’s lap and embraced her in a big hug.

  “Hi, we didn’t hear you come in.” Ann returned Emily’s hug, taking in the sweet scent of the outdoors that
clung to her hair.

  Jacob’s gaze remained glued to Ann as she held Emily. “I thought we’d get a bite to eat then you can join me when I meet the neighbors.”

  Luke scooted back his chair and went to the refrigerator. “In that case, let’s have sandwiches while we’re all here.”

  Over lunch, Emily filled them in about the new calves, how she named each one, and what their names were. Ann stole a look at Ethan to see if he would argue to her naming all of them, but was surprised to see him laugh at Emily’s selfish antics and pass it off with a simple shake of his head. He appeared far more mature than she earlier guessed--even to the point of understanding his sister’s youthful age and leaving the unimportant battles alone. Emily would probably never have to resort to climbing trees to be a part of her brother’s life. Suddenly protective, Ann was glad. She cringed at the thought of Emily high in a tree then almost laughed out loud. She sounded just like her mother.

  With lunch over, Luke and the children sat down to watch an old western. Though there wasn’t an antenna, he maintained a television and VCR to enjoy movies. As they settled in, Jacob took the opportunity to guide Ann outside for the promised ride.

  The refreshing weather nipped at her cheeks. Although it was still March, she could sense spring edging in closer, but even that wasn’t enough comfort to hold her attention. As the door closed behind Jacob, she realized how relaxed she had been. Now that they were alone again, her tangled nerves returned to the familiar jittery sensation. Being alone with Jacob brought about feelings of anticipation along with apprehension. She was excited to be with him, but worried if he was feeling the same or not. Though his past actions should be enough to clear away her doubts, she still succumbed to nagging worry.

  In hopes of easing her spirit, she turned to make small talk, but caught Jacob admiring her. Her mouth parted in surprise before she closed it and gave him a sheepish smile. He reached for her hand and held it as they walked back to the cabin. His touch held a welcomed sweet calm.

  Ann spied Jacob’s horse, ready to ride again, tethered near an oak tree. “Where’s the other horse?”

  Jacob helped her mount up, careful of her knee. “Trigger’s all I’ve got.” Then he quickly mounted behind her.

  Ann stiffened at his nearness, his legs nestled into the bend of her own. Sharing a saddle together wasn’t what she had in mind, though it was becoming clear it was exactly what Jacob had intended.

  “Relax,” he whispered in her ear, “I can be a gentleman.”

  “I’m sure you can. I’m just not convinced you will.”

  He laughed but withheld any response. With his left hand resting on his leg, he reached around Ann with his right and retrieved the reins. He encouraged Trigger along, and they headed toward the creek to check in with his neighbors.

  Ann inhaled deeply and tried to hold it. Though after a moment she realized it was futile to fight against the joy that rose within her. Earlier, Jacob had more or less called her a princess. Now, it seemed as though the fairytale would continue, while she rode away with her prince.

  Jacob’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “I stopped inside the house before going over to Dad’s. Thank you for cleaning up the place. It looks great.”

  Ann raised her brows in surprise, not only because Jacob noticed, but that he also thanked her. Even as wonderful as her own father was, rarely did he thank her mother for all her efforts. She looked at him over her shoulder. “You’re welcome. It helped pass the time.”

  Then she held her palms up so he could see. “I didn’t even get my hands wet.”

  Jacob seized the opportunity to touch her again and took one of her hands in his. “Good, they’re looking much better.” He pulled her hand to his lips and planted a soft kiss over her cut before gently placing it back on the saddle horn.

  ***

  Jacob considered their developing relationship as they rode quietly through the field. He’d made the decision to avoid getting too close to Ann in conversation and in the physical sense. The more she opened up, the more entangled his heart became with hers. Since he’d never experienced such a connection with someone before, he feared losing control.

  Now, however, he had to admit what an improbability his idea posed, especially since they shared the same saddle. A fact he’d refused to consider when he made his hapless plan. His only hope was that her strength would be enough for both of them.

  Ann shifted in the saddle before she spoke. “I know the Stevenson’s a little. When you first mentioned them, the name sounded familiar but it didn’t occur to me who they were until today.”

  Curious, he asked, “How’s that? They don’t usually socialize with many people.”

  “They stopped by one day when I was working outside so we got to talking, and Mrs. Stevenson asked me over for the next day. I have to warn you though, I didn’t impress her.”

  “If you were wearing those jeans and a little shirt, I can see why not.” He laughed.

  “Actually, I tried to be respectful. I dressed in one of Uncle Frank’s sweatshirts. I suppose I could have worn one of my dresses, but I doubt they’d approve of the lengths.”

  “Maybe I should see you in them and give you my opinion.”

  “Ha, ha.” She began to twirl a strand of hair.

  “Seriously,” he asked as he fought against the vision of Ann in a short skirt, “why weren’t they impressed?”

  “They tried to convert me to their convictions, but I wasn’t very moldable.”

  Jacob let out a hearty laugh to which Ann replied, “I’m glad you find this so funny. At my expense, I might add. You realize they probably think I’m bound for hell.”

  “Look at it this way; you didn’t waste any time getting to know what they’re like, so be thankful.” Jacob paused. “By the way, Mrs. Stevenson home-schools my children.”

  Ann turned as much as the saddle would allow and faced him. “What? Why and how do you measure up to their standards?”

  The sun’s light drew on the color of her freckles and challenged him to drop their conversation and kiss each little brown speck. He drew his attention to her eyes; he loved the way the green brightened as they grew wide with aggravation. He touched a hand to her soft cheek and smiled. “Don’t get so riled. They’re merely helping out a single father, who they probably see as despondent, in hopes of raising his children to their way of thinking.”

  Ann gaped. “And that’s okay with you?”

  “Annie, I talk with my children every evening over what they’ve been taught. The Stevenson’s are a bit old fashioned with their convictions, but that’s their convictions, not mine. And I don’t think they mean any harm. Besides, in my opinion, my kids are much safer in their hands than public schools.”

  Ann turned back around, her posture more relaxed. “I guess the Stevenson’s aren’t wrong in their way of life. They choose to live more restricted because that’s how they’re convicted. The thing I didn’t like was feeling judged by them. But, I suppose even that isn’t a reflection of their way of life. I’ve met other families of similar beliefs and enjoyed my time with them. The Stevenson’s were at odds with me from the start. Why they ever invited me over is a mystery to me.”

  She paused before she asked, “Do you think God convicts everyone differently?”

  Jacob considered her question. “To some extent, yes. I think you see examples of that in the Bible if you read about Paul and his thoughts of some of the other disciples.”

  “That’s how I see it, too. But, I don’t think your neighbors do.”

  “You mean the ones standing over there?” Jacob pointed to the rigid outlines of his neighbors.

  Mr. Stevenson stood across the overflowing creek with two of his sons. He emitted a foreboding presence that seemed centered on Ann.

  Chapter Ten

  Mr. Stevenson cupped his hand around his mouth and shouted from across the creek. “Good afternoon, Jacob. How are the children?”

  Ann cringed from his voice
. He was a stern man that, for an unexplainable reason, made her want to disappear.

  Jacob slid down from his mount. “Fine. Excited about storms and no school.” He walked closer to the bank with Trigger’s reins in his hand.

  “Yes, it’s a shame they’ll miss out on a few days.” Mr. Stevenson wasn’t one prone to jester. He took school as seriously as every other part of life.

  He turned his attention toward Ann, and shouted to be heard over the roar of the creek. “Who might your friend be?”

  Still sitting atop Trigger, she could only hope he had a bad memory.

  Jacob’s chest swelled. “This here’s, Ms. Annie McHaven.”

  Even from the distance the creek put between them, Ann could see Mr. Stevenson’s brow furrow as he rubbed his thumb across the side of his index finger in an agitated fashion. Had he noted the endearing way Jacob referred to her? She needed to break the growing silence. Ann planted a smile on her face and waved. “Good morning, Mr. Stevenson!”

  As though she hadn’t even spoken, he directed his speech back to Jacob. “Have you enough food for the children? We’re supposed to get another bucket of rain tonight.”

  “Yes, thank you, though I could use a favor. Since Annie’s going to be stuck here until the creeks go down, could you call Mr. Whitener and let him know she’s here. He’ll probably be checking in on her and we don’t want him to worry.”

  Ann knew her reputation was shot. Not only did Jacob refer to her as Annie, something no one else did, he used the word “we,” as if they made decisions together. But, we did. We made the decision about Mr. Whitener together. Jacob also asked her to ride with him, he didn’t command it. Maybe there was hope for this man after all, and why did that thought leave her so happy?

  The sound of Mr. Stevenson’s voice brought her out of her reflections.