Abandoned Hearts (The Ozark Durham Series)

by Regina Tittel

  “I will for you, Jacob. Will that be all?” he asked, in blatant dismissal.

  “Just one more thing I want you to be aware of. I’ve found prints of a big cat. I think it’s getting my calves. Be careful.”

  “Thank you, Jacob.” Mr. Stevenson steered his sons back in the direction of their house.

  “How could you tell they were cat prints and not a dog’s?” Ann couldn’t tell one print from another. Of course, the suburbs didn’t offer any reason for that type of knowledge.

  “You know a cat has retractable claws, right?”

  She nodded.

  “A cat only extracts them when needed, so when it’s running or walking you can’t see the claw marks. But dogs can’t retract their claws, so theirs show up. And since a cougar’s foot is huge, its track isn’t something you could confuse with a house cat or even a bobcat.”

  He rubbed his chin. What was he thinking? “I planned to show the ones I found to Ethan so he would know what to be aware of, but the rain took care of that.”

  “Do you think Mr. Stevenson believed you?” Ann asked.

  “I don’t know.” Jacob stroked Trigger’s neck. “No one around here wants to, but he should be cautious, especially since he has so many young ones. Seven children still live at home. That’s a lot to keep up with.”

  “Wow, and I always thought four would be a lot.” She spoke aloud without considering her audience. She could feel Jacob’s eyes on her and looked down from on top of Trigger.

  His mouth twitched into a crooked grin. “Four, huh? Is that how many kids you want?”

  Redness probably matched the warmth in her cheeks. How does he keep doing this?

  “Did you grow up in a large family?”

  Her shoulders relaxed before she answered, thankful for the change of direction. “There were twelve cousins, and we were all similar in age. My dad has three brothers and two sisters, so family get-togethers were always fun and loud. My brother and I were never short on playmates.”

  “It must have been nice to grow up with so many people you could trust.”

  Ann smiled and looked off in the distance as the warmth washed away from her cheeks. Flashbacks of playing with her cousins and the loud ring of laughter from adults gathered together rang in her mind.

  “I guess that’s probably why you wanted four children, so they could experience a life like yours.”

  “I guess.” The pleasant feeling her memories had wrought quickly faded as she realized what he’d done. She groaned. “Happy? You got your answer.”

  “Yep.” Jacob mounted behind Ann and gave Trigger an encouraging nudge of his heels.

  Ann tried not to dwell on Jacob’s curiosity but couldn’t help herself. Would he be willing to add to his children? Did God have a family planned for her all along? She pushed the thoughts from her mind. Jacob sat too close for her to think about that now. She focused her attention back to their ride.

  The creek had swelled well past its banks and made a small river through the property. Native Black Willows that usually hung in a quiet and serene manner along the water’s edge, now found themselves likened unto Cypress. A great blue heron, spooked by their presence, mounted up on giant wings and took flight.

  “This is simply beautiful. I’ve always thought of spring as the annual rebirth of creation. Being in the midst of the country only confirms it.”

  “Do you think it would ever bore you?”

  “Oh no, I’ve always wanted to live in the country. By the way, where are we headed?”

  “I figured you might enjoy seeing more of the property. Especially if we get more rain, I’d hate for you to feel cooped up in the house.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t. Your children are too delightful and your home is so cozy. Like the kind of place where you want to get snowed in.” Ann imagined snow drifting around the cabin while a fire blazed away in the hearth.

  Jacob lean forward, his breath whispered against her ear. “Am I the kind of man you could picture being snowed in with?”

  Jacob’s directness stunned Ann…and at the same time, excited her. Things like this don’t happen this fast. Who falls in love this early in a relationship? And, why would Jacob want me? Does he think I could be a good enough mother for his children? I’ve just learned his last name, but I don’t know anything of his past. What happened to his wife and what kind of husband had he been? She tried to slow things down while she still had the will.

  Her throat tightened but she forced her voice to respond. “Jacob, I’ve had some bad experiences and I’m not ready for…for…” she let her voice drift as her mind tried to remember what exactly she didn’t want.

  “Look, Ann,” Jacob reined Trigger to a stop and dismounted. His warm hands cupped her waist and pulled her down beside him. “If it’s me you have a problem with, you need to say it. But, if this is something from the past, then you’ll just have to move forward, ‘cause I’m not backing down.”

  Ann trembled from the truth and confidence of Jacob’s words. Unaware of how to respond, she allowed him to continue.

  “There’s a longing inside you that wants to trust, to feel secure in someone’s arms.” He pulled her to him. “Trust in me, Annie. Let my arms be the ones to hold you.” He brought his lips to hers and kissed her. His mouth beckoned for a response as the tenderness faded and something more driven took its place.

  Ann remembered Luke’s words, “You couldn’t be in better hands.” She relaxed in Jacob’s embrace and returned his kiss. She welcomed the familiar, languid warmth that filled her limbs and left her in want of more.

  As Jacob slid his coarse hand against the back of her neck to draw her closer, a cool breeze interrupted the moment. He exhaled a deep sigh and stepped back. “You’re something special, Annie.”

  Ann couldn’t speak for fear the water brimming in her eyes would turn to tears. Her heart ached for him. Her lips still tingled from the touch of his. She wanted so much to be back in his arms. Was it time to let go of the past?

  An ugly guilt manifested itself in her mind. What about the rumors her employers had spread? If word reached Jacob, would he find enough fault in her to believe them?

  Jacob accepted her silence and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. “Let’s head back before it gets too late.”

  ***

  The wind stirred around them as they rode on in silence. Jacob inhaled Ann’s natural sweetness mixed with soap from the morning’s shower and pictured her as his wife. He could see them in a family photo with his two children happily smiling, a toddler in his arms and Ann’s belly swollen with their fourth. Everything she said and did caused Jacob to desire her more. The tender nurturing she showed his children. The instant camaraderie she shared with his dad. The way her eyes lit up whenever she caught him staring.

  If the rain washed out the bridge, her stay would be lengthened.

  Let it rain.

  They’d only covered a short distance before Trigger snorted and tossed his head. He nervously backed up. Ann tightened her hold on the saddle horn while Jacob reached around with his other hand to grab one of the reins. He could feel the horse tremble beneath them and knew it wanted to bolt. He tightened his thighs around the horse’ sides and pulled one rein to his hip, which forced Trigger in circles until he calmed. With a glance ahead, he spotted the cause of the upset. Beside the rain soaked field, partially hidden under a low-lying branch, lay a fresh kill. A doe.

  “Ooh! What in the world…?” Ann clasped a hand over her mouth.

  The metallic smell of blood tainted the air. Jacob soothed Trigger’s nerves. “It’s okay, boy. You did good. You did good, all right.” He waited to answer Ann until he scanned the trees and underbrush for any sign of the lion.

  “That was a doe. A pretty good sized one, too. A cougar brought it down, probably early this morning.”

  “How can you tell?”

  “Look at its wounds. A lion opens up the chest and eats the heart, lungs and other soft organs first. Since it�
�s partly covered, I imagine it got full for now. But I suspect it’s not far off. We’d better get back to the house.”

  “You said lion. Now I’m confused. Is there a cougar and a lion we’re looking for?”

  Jacob directed Trigger away from the kill before he answered. “No, they’re all the same thing. It depends on where you’re from, whether you refer to it as a mountain lion, puma, panther, or cougar.”

  “How do you know all this?”

  “We’ve always had them around. As a kid, their stories fascinated me, so I did my own research.”

  Jacob continued to make conversation in an effort to steer Ann’s thoughts away from their find. “I recently bought a Sharps 45-70 at a sale. Now I’ll be able to justify its expense.”

  “What’s that?”

  “A 45-70 is the rifle I’ve always dreamed of owning. It represents the Wild West,” he deepened his voice playfully, “where men were men.”

  Ann turned to look back at Jacob and smiled. “So, do you have chaps and a cowboy hat to go with it?”

  Jacob was pleased with the result of their conversation. Ann’s mind was now refocused. “Don’t forget my spurs.”

  Her laughter was followed by a flash of lightening.

  Jacob looked across the sky. “If I can beat the storm, I might have a chance to use it.”

  Ann clutched Jacob’s arm. “You’re not coming after it by yourself, are you?”

  He leaned over her shoulder and whispered in her ear, “Why Miss Annie,” he drawled, “would that be concern in your voice?”

  Trigger was more willing to answer than Ann. The horse stretched out his legs and pulled for more rein as he bolted toward home. Jacob held Ann safely against his chest and let him run. The lightening flashed repeatedly as they raced for the safety of the barn.

  Chapter Eleven

  The sun rested on the horizon by the time Jacob and Ann returned to the barn. Luke and Ethan ran out to meet them. Ethan paused for breath. “What’s going on, Dad?”

  Luke mentioned Ann’s ghostly pallor and helped her down while Jacob relayed their findings.

  “We found a doe carcass in the back field. I bet that cougar brought it down sometime this morning, which means it’ll be back. I might be able to snag it if I hurry.”

  “Wow, can I go with you? You’ll need an extra set of eyes, Dad.” Ethan straightened his eight year old frame to its full height, apparently wanting to be seen as capable as he must feel.

  “Son, I appreciate that, but I couldn’t live with myself if something went wrong. These cats don’t leave any room for mistakes.” Jacob missed the immediate slump in his son’s shoulders and looked at the sky through the barn door. “It looks like I’m going to miss my chance anyway. From the size and color of those thunder clouds, I’d no sooner get out there than be caught in a down pour.”

  A clap of thunder resounded throughout the sky as the wind picked up speed.

  “Let’s not waste any time getting Trigger wiped down.” Luke grabbed a towel to dry off the sweat-soaked gelding.

  “You’re welcome to stay with us, Dad, ‘til this storm passes by. Bring Candy over if you like.”

  “Thanks for the offer, Son. Maybe next time.” Luke finished wiping down the nervous animal before he said good night. He patted Ann’s arm as he went out.

  “Why doesn’t he ever stay?” asked Ann.

  “He helps out a lot, but I think he still needs his personal space.” Jacob looked toward the house as lightening streaked across the sky. “We’d better get inside before Emily wakes up from her nap.”

  ***

  Ann hung up their coats while Jacob tried to comfort Emily. She jumped from a clap of thunder and knocked all the coats down again. The storm rolled in with more intensity than the night before. Lightning lit up the sky from every direction. No wonder the child was scared.

  Jacob held his crying daughter and patted her back as she soaked his shirt in tears. “Emily, you have to stop crying. We were right outside, you were safe, and we were coming in.” He heaved a sigh and turned to Ann. “Maybe you could sing to her again. I’m at a loss here.”

  “Sure.” Ann doubted she could comfort the distraught little girl any more than her father, but would try.

  Beside the fire place in a wooden rocking chair, Ann rocked and sung as Ethan helped build a fire with his dad. She wrapped a quilt around Emily’s small frame and the girl nestled as close as she could, as though to savor the offered security. The soft crackle of the fire created a peaceful calm that filtered throughout the room.

  As the night wore on, the horror of finding the dead deer faded. Ann relaxed and enjoyed being part of a family. No longer wanting to warn off her growing feelings, she allowed herself a moment to contemplate Jacob’s earlier statement. Does he really mean it? If he isn’t going to back down, could this mean…Unwilling to finish her thought, she secretly hoped he would bring it up again. She stole a look in his direction. Her eyes only confirmed what her heart already claimed.

  Jacob instructed Ethan how to lay the blankets where they could sleep in front of the fireplace so the children wouldn’t be afraid of the storm. Ann watched an ornery smile capture Ethan’s lips. He grabbed a pillow and swung it at his dad. Jacob laughed and returned fire with fire.

  Emily sat up on Ann’s lap and clapped her hands. “Get ‘im, Daddy.”

  Laughter filled the house as Jacob and Ethan continued to entertain the girls, disrupting the blankets they’d so carefully laid out. Ethan swung again and connected with Jacob’s head.

  “That was rough. You better watch yourself.”

  His words were lost on Ethan who was caught in a fit of laughter. Everyone laughed with him until Jacob’s swing connected with the corner of the side table. Feathers burst into the air and scattered around the room onto its occupants. For one small moment, the room became silent with disbelief. How would Jacob handle the mess? He looked over at Ethan. A joyful noise erupted from deep inside him and soon they were all near tears with laughter.

  Jacob’s eyes caught Ann’s and held them with a deep affection. Ann wanted to hold on to the joy they radiated. She admired him in his state of upheaval. His hair was tousled, despite his attempt to comb it with his fingers. A lock continued to tease his eyes. His plaid shirt was partially untucked from his jeans, which only added to his appeal. He looked so relaxed, so happy.

  Jacob walked over to her on his way to his room and waited as the children ran past to gather their stuffed toys and another pillow. “I’m glad you’re here, Annie.”

  Just as she opened her mouth to respond the children returned.

  Ethan shouted, “Come on Annie, we have a book to read.”

  Even their interruptions were welcomed. Watching them open up to her so readily helped comfort the constant yearning for children of her own; which is what made walking away from her chosen profession as a nanny so difficult. It had been a tough decision, and though she still wasn’t sure what direction God would send her, that door was undoubtedly closed.

  After three books, they roasted marshmallows over the fire in the living room. Jacob wiped the children’s sticky fingers before he skewered the hotdogs.

  “Do you always eat dessert before dinner?” Ann couldn’t help her curiosity.

  Emily giggled. “No, silly.”

  “Only when we eat hotdogs. Right kids?”

  “Yes,” they shouted in unison.

  Family traditions. They were important. Usually a mother provided those special occasions. Instead, Ann watched Jacob skewer another marshmallow for Emily.

  “You’re awfully quiet, Annie,” Jacob’s baritone voice rumbled.

  Ann ducked her head and smiled. “Oh, I was just thinking.” She cleared her throat. “If you didn’t have any siblings, Jacob, and you lived all the way out here, what did you do for fun?”

  “I had school and my folks. You might have noticed with Dad, they were up in their years before I finally came along. I helped them out a lot. And when
we didn’t work, there was always plenty of hunting and fishing.” He smiled at his last statement. “I remember setting trout-lines with my dad when I was about six.”

  Ann frowned. “Trout-lines?”

  “Oh yeah, we have a city girl in our midst.” The children giggled at their father’s remark. “A trout-line is a long cord with a weight at the end. In the middle are several leads of rope with baited hooks. You toss the weighted end of the rope into the creek and secure the remaining end to a tree.” He acknowledged Ann’s understanding before he continued. “We got up with the sun the next morning to check ‘em before any caught fish wiggled loose. My dad pulled the first line. On one of the hooks flapped the biggest catfish I’d ever seen at the time, but that was nothing compared to what was on my line.”

  The children leaned in closer, waiting for Jacob to release them from suspense.

  “My line was so heavy I called out to Dad to help me with it. We pulled and pulled and then something big started thrashing at the water’s surface. I was scared and wanted to run, but Dad was behind me so all I could do was brace myself for the worst. As we pulled, what looked like a prehistoric monster flipped out of the water and jerked himself loose of the hook.”

  “What was it, Dad?” Ethan’s eyes grew wide with excitement. Jacob possessed the same amount of skill at story telling as his father and was easily rewarded with their apt attention.

  “A gar. An alligator gar to be exact. It’s a fish. They have long skinny snouts lined with lots and lots of sharp teeth. They’re really harmless, but at five feet long, harmless was the last thing I was thinking.”

  Once again, Ann found her feelings deepen for this man. He had so many of the qualities that she had once labeled nonexistent in a single human being. She prayed again for this to be God’s will for her life. Please, please, please!

  ***

  Ann watched Jacob stare into the fire for a long while. Where were his thoughts taking him? “They’re asleep,” she whispered.

  He didn’t turn his gaze right away, and when he did, he gave his full attention to the two children and made sure they were covered before he looked at her.