Broken & Damaged Love

by T. L. Clark

  “Shh…I’m still talking.” Frank made an ‘oo-ooo’ sound before letting his boyfriend continue. “As I was saying, we can’t afford to live. And honestly, I think I’m failing my course. I’ve really been struggling, and my heart’s really not in it. My dad wanted me to become a bigshot lawyer, but that’s really not me. I need to talk to my dad, see if he’ll help, but I’ve been thinking.”

  “Uh oh!”

  “I’m still in pretty good shape. I could become a Personal Fitness Instructor.”

  Frank sprayed as he laughed.

  “I’m serious. I know it won’t bring in much, but actually I think it’s what I want to do.”

  “Really?”

  “Is it so hard to believe?”

  “Well, I’m not sure how I feel about you hanging around with other fit men all the time.”

  “Jealous much?”

  “Yeah, a bit.”

  Jake kissed him quickly, “You’re the only man for me.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise. And besides, I think most of my clients are likely to be bored housewives.”

  “Well that’s OK then,” Frank smirked, kissing him back.

  Jake decided this was a conversation he needed to have face-to-face with his dad. So he waited for Christmas, and took Frank with him. Frank was obviously nervous.

  This was suddenly a massive step. He and Jake were planning a future together, and he was meeting his parents.

  “Hi sweetie.” Jake’s mum wrapped him up in the kind of bear hug only mothers can give as soon as she opened the door.

  “Oh, and you must be Frank,” she declared as she gave him a gentler hug.

  “Hi Mrs Patterson.”

  “Oh, Helen, please.”

  Frank gave her a boyish grin as she hurried them inside.

  “They’re here,” she called out to her husband.

  He appeared in the hallway and gave his son a manly hug and shook Frank’s hand.

  “Pleased to meet you.”

  “Pleased to meet you too sir,” Frank said meekly.

  “Harry,” he corrected.

  Jake led the way up to his old bedroom so they could dump their bags. He took the opportunity to give Frank a reassuring hug.

  “I told you they wouldn’t bite,” he said.

  “Yeah, but I didn’t expect them to be that friendly. Your parents are so cool. Are you sure we’re meant to be sharing this room?”

  “Of course. They know we share a flat, you know.”

  “Yeah, but there’s knowing, and inviting it under your own roof.”

  “Look, not everybody’s parents were brought up in the dark ages. I’m sorry your dad was, but my folks are free thinkers. But we should get back downstairs before we’re missed.”

  But he made time for a quick smooch, just to remind Frank just how much he loved him.

  “I’ve got a nice Cottage Pie on the go. It’s nearly ready. I thought you boys would like a nice home cooked meal. I’m sure he exaggerates about what he eats,” she confided to Frank.

  “Look at him, he’s still thin.”

  “Actually, he cooks really well,” Frank admitted. “He seems to be able conjure anything out of nothing.”

  Helen beamed with pride. “Well, of course he had a good teacher.”

  They all sat around the wooden kitchen table by the range as Jake’s mum dished up the meat and potato dish. The whole meal and atmosphere was warm and homely.

  They started off chatting happily, and got to know each other. But Jake decided he had better get it over with quick. “Dad…?”

  “Yeeees…?” He knew that tone; he wanted something.

  “What would you say if I quit law?”

  “Quit? Why would you want to do that?” He was surprised, but not angry.

  “Well, I’m just a bit shit at it really.”

  “Not terribly eloquent son, but I suppose it’s honest. I presume you have something else in mind?”

  “Well, um, yeah. I kinda want to become a fitness instructor.”

  His dad nearly choked on his Cottage Pie.

  “A…a fitness instructor? I see. Why this sudden change of heart?” he asked, raising one eyebrow in Frank’s direction.

  He was starting to wonder if he should like this boyfriend of his son’s.

  “It’s not his fault dad. Frank’s studying to be an art museum curator.”

  “And what’s that got to do with the price of eggs?”

  “He has years of studying ahead of him, and well, I’d like to earn some money.”

  “As a fitness instructor?”

  “Yes.”

  “Once Frank qualifies he’ll be able to earn enough, so it’s only until then.”

  “And you can support the two of you for years on the earnings of a fitness instructor, can you?”

  “No. Not exactly.”

  “I see,” he stated, having a bad feeling his bank account was going to get drained.

  “I think we need to discuss this further later. Let’s review your options?”

  “Fine.” Jake huffed.

  “Who’s for dessert?” his mum said breezily to try to lift the sudden drop in mood.

  She quickly brought out Jam Roly Poly with custard.

  “Thanks, that was delicious,” Frank said as he dropped his spoon in surrender.

  “I just can’t eat any more.”

  He leant back and rubbed his belly as he gazed on at the leftovers in his bowl.

  “Oh good,” Jake cheered, grabbing his bowl and polishing off the dessert.

  “Pig!” Frank chided.

  Helen started clearing the plates and Frank jumped up.

  “I’ll help you,” he said a little too eagerly.

  Taking his cue, Jake took his dad into the sitting room to have that chat. As he passed, Jake felt Frank squeeze his hand.

  “Good luck,” Frank whispered. Jake pulled a ‘worried’ face.

  Clearing the plates turned out to be easy; clear plates, rinse, place in dishwasher. But Helen poured them each a glass of wine and sat back down at the dinner table so get better acquainted, leaving father and son to slog out their arguments on Jake’s future.

  “Now before you get all het up…” Jake’s dad held out his hand in a gesture of ‘calm’ as he took a seat in an armchair.

  “I just want to make sure you’ve thought this through, that’s all.”

  “Of course I have.”

  “So you and Frank are that serious?”

  “Yes. Dad, he’s the one. I simply can’t imagine my future without him in it.”

  “Your future as a fitness instructor?”

  “Don’t start.”

  “Alright alright. It’s just I thought you wanted to be a lawyer.”

  “Not really dad. That was more what you wanted me to do.”

  “Oh, but you know I would have supported you whatever profession you chose.”

  “Yes, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I sort of went along with it. And I’ve tried really hard. But I’m just not cut out for it. I can just about keep up with the studying, just. But it’s the people, they drive me bonkers. I really don’t fit in. And if I don’t fit in I’ll never make all the right contacts.”

  “So let’s say I agree with your decision to stop studying law. For now at least. I fully respect you want to start earning money. Eventually I’d like to see some of mine come back.”

  “Dad!”

  “I know. The chances of you repaying me are somewhere between slim and none. It still leaves us with the sticky wicket of you earning enough to support the pair of you. How much do fitness instructors earn?”

  “I could probably bring home about £20,000, at a push.”

  “And you’re going to pay board and lodgings with that for two people?”

  “What else could you do? I’m not saying no, just think about the alternatives. Please, just humour me.”

  “I could be a stripper. That would pay well.”

 
“Don’t be clever. I’m just asking.”

  “I’m good with people, and I’m good with fitness.”

  “You’re set on this, aren’t you?”

  “Yes. I’ve found a course. I can complete my level 2 diploma in just six weeks. And start earning right away.”

  “How much?”

  “£1,500.”

  “Well, I supposed if I’m not going to have to pay any more tuition fees.”

  “Thanks dad.” He launched himself at him in a hug. “I’ll make you proud of me.”

  “Jake, I already am,” he said with a sudden lump in his throat.

  And so it came to pass; Jake got set up as a fitness instructor whilst Frank carried on with his studies, and completed his course. He even managed to set up an internship.

  Jake was incredibly charismatic and he soon had a waiting list of people wanting him to help them get fit. He had a firm but fair approach, and was able to push people to get the most out of their exercise without sounding like a drill sergeant. As his clients started to get results so the word of mouth spread.

  Tina really knuckled down with her studies that year too, and got through her AAT with flying colours. Her employers gave her a bonus for getting her award, and also a modest pay rise.

  Pete finished his undergraduate course with a 2:1, and so was all set to take his next steps to becoming a counselling psychologist.

  That year they all had something to celebrate. They all felt as if they were making ripples in the pool of maturity.

  Chapter 17 - Jubilation

  Near the end of the semester, Jake and Frank were wandering around campus on a lunch break.

  Jake sometimes found time to have lunch with his boyfriend; it was one of the joys of running his own business. He was in charge of his own schedule, client demand permitting.

  They walked across the green, down a path, past the water feature, down a grassy slope, and past some bushes. They were now completely alone in their grassy secluded spot.

  “I remember this place,” Jake remarked.

  “Mmmm…where we had our first kiss.”

  Frank smiled at the memory, and tried to ignore the following argument they’d had.

  Jake got down on one knee, and pulled out a ring box.

  “Frank. I love you more than you will ever know. You mean the world to me. You are my world.”

  Frank’s hands had gone up to his mouth in shock, and he took a deep breath.

  Jake continued, “Please would you do me the honour of marrying me?”

  “Oh my God,” Frank gasped. “Yes, yes I will!”

  Jake leaped up and grabbed Frank and hugged him, kissing him passionately. This time there was no hesitation, Frank no longer had concerns over who may see them.

  In that moment he truly was the happiest he’d ever been. This wonderful man was declaring himself to him forever, and he knew it’s where he belonged. And he wanted the whole world to know.

  Jake fumbled with the box and put the ring on Frank’s left ring finger, beaming as he did so. They had come so far in such a short time, but he knew this was right. It was as if they’d been made for each other.

  They broke the good news to all their friends when they were at the pub later. A huge cheer went round their circle, and the drinks flowed freely.

  Jake’s parents were equally happy for them, when Jake phoned them. They were just happy their son was happy.

  But Frank’s stomach was in knots. He still hadn’t told his dad he was gay. How could he tell him he was getting married…to a man? The answer seemed to come to him from Divine intervention, when a few days later his phone rang.

  “Frank. It’s time for you to move out of that flat,” his father gruffed.

  “Yes. I know. I’m looking.”

  “Well before you do anything foolish, I just wanted you to know there’s money in your account.”

  “What?”

  “I just transferred some money to you. I sold a property. It was always my intention. Tina’s a lovely girl, and I want you two to have the best start in life together. I know it’s serious. I thought I’d let you choose where.”

  “Thanks. I don’t know what to say. I’m gobsmacked.”

  “A thank you will suffice.”

  “B…b…but what if it’s n…n….n….not Tina,” he stammered, his heart racing.

  He felt sick.

  “What do you mean not Tina? You’ve not broken up, have you?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Then what’s going on?”

  Frank took a deep breath.

  “It never was Tina. She’s just a friend. My best friend, and I’m not sure I deserve her.”

  “But you’ve been dating. You’re living together. I don’t understand.”

  “No. I suppose you wouldn’t. Look, the thing is I’m gay.”

  “Now we discussed this. You got over it. It was just a phase.”

  His father’s voice was rising in volume as well as pitch. He felt liked he’d just been slapped in the face. His son had been lying to him? He felt mocked, like he’d been played for a fool.

  “Dad. I’m sorry, but you have to know. I’ve been dating this guy, and we’re getting married.”

  “Married?” he screamed.

  “Yeah. His parents are happy for us. I hope you can be. But that’s your choice. I’m marrying Jake. You can either accept it and give us your blessing, or you can leave us alone.”

  The line went dead as his father hung up, shocked to his core. Jake had been holding Frank’s hand the entire conversation, and he now wrapped his arms around him.

  “There, it’s done. You were so strong, Frank. You stood up to him. You were honest. The worst is over.”

  He rubbed Frank’s back as he whispered this in his ear. Frank just began crying.

  “What have I done?” he howled. “What have I done?”

  “Become independent.”

  “But I’ve hurt him.”

  “No. He’s hurt him, not you. What did he say?”

  “He hung up.”

  He was already calming down, but felt numb.

  “Oh! Oh well. You’ve given him his choice. He either accepts it or not. But at least he knows.”

  “But he’d just transferred money over for me to put a deposit down on a place with Tina.”

  “He what?”

  “Yeah. I should have told him so long ago, Jake.”

  “He didn’t really give you the opportunity, did he?”

  “No.”

  “It’s alright.”

  “How can you say that?”

  Jake backed away from him a little and looked his fiancé in the eyes.

  “I can say it because you have me!”

  Frank smiled and wiped away his tears.

  “Yeah, I guess I do, don’t I?”

  “For better or for worse.”

  They had a short engagement, not wanting to wait. That summer they got married in a beautiful country house/hotel. All their friends were there, as well as Jake’s parents.

  The happy couple wore matching blue suits, and looked incredibly handsome.

  The newly-weds managed to sneak outside for a quick breath of fresh air after the sumptuous meal. They started to wander across the lawn when they were interrupted.

  “Frank,” a female voice shouted.

  “Mother,” Frank shrieked as he ran towards her.

  She held out a wrapped present.

  “Your father would be so cross if he knew I was here. He thinks I’m at one of my WI meetings. I can’t stay long,” she apologised.

  “But I couldn’t stay away. I had to see my boy get married.”

  “I love you mum,” he replied, tears welling in his eyes.

  “I love you too Frank. I’m proud of you no matter what. I need you to know that.”

  “Thanks. That means a lot.”

  They quickly hugged, and Frank found a motherly kiss being planted on his forehead just before she wiped away her lipstick mar
k with her finger.

  “Mum, this is my husband, Jake.”

  “Pleased to meet you,” Jake said holding out his hand, but he too found himself in Frank’s mother’s arms.

  “I’m so sorry,” she began. “Frank’s father, he’s…well, he’s very traditional.”

  “I understand.”

  “Anyway, I just wanted to pop by and say congratulations.”

  “Thanks for coming. I know it means a lot to Frank, as well as me.”

  She grabbed Frank again for one final hug.

  “I’m sorry I’m not stronger for you.”

  “You came. That’s all that matters.”

  And then she was gone. The husbands took a moment to look at each other in stunned silence.

  “She seems nice,” Jake finally managed to say.

  “Yeah, she is. I have no idea how she ended up with my father.”

  “Hey, you OK?” Jake asked, placing a tender hand on Frank’s cheek.

  “Yeah.”

  “Jake. Frank,” a voice called from the house.

  They went as they were summonsed.

  “Everything OK?” Jake’s mum asked, concerned at the solemnity evident on their faces.

  “Yeah. It just all got a bit overwhelming,” Jake explained as they all headed back inside to get on with the reception.

  Tina approached them as they re-entered the room.

  “I wanted to give you this,” she said, shyly for her.

  Accepting the offered gift Frank planted a quick peck on Tina’s cheek.

  “Thanks. Should I open it now?”

  She nodded enthusiastically.

  “Yes. I insist actually.”

  His curiosity peeked, Frank began carefully unwrapping. His mouth opened wide as the most wonderful painting was revealed.

  Tina had painted a triptych; on the left was a troll, fresh from battle, like the ones Frank used to draw.

  On the right was a handsome blonde haired, green eyed prince.

  In the middle was a bright golden flash above two handsome princes, the blonde one was holding hands with a prince who had shaggy brown hair and a cheeky grin, a sparkle glinting in his hazel eyes.

  “It’s perfect,” Frank beamed.

  “You really think so?”

  “I really think so,” he said planting another kiss. “Thank you so much.”

  “Well, you had to have something to show for slaying your demons.”

  “I already do,” he said as he took Jake’s hand in his.