Too Cold To Love

by Doris O'Connor

  "I'm sorry...I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

  Fucking hell. A few long strides brought him close enough to pick her up. His shoulder screamed at the strain, but he was damned if he was going to leave her down there.

  Her startled eyes flew to his face; her teeth bit her bottom lip, and he sat heavily on the bed cradling her on his lap. She buried her face in his chest, and he kissed her hair, murmuring nonsense in an effort to calm her down.

  "Shhh, cara mia, it's okay. This wasn't your fault."

  She shook her head and pushed against his chest. He reluctantly let her go.

  "It was my fault Marco, all of it. I was in charge of her. I knew that gate was faulty. I should have kept a better eye on her, but she was so fast when she wanted to be, and God, Marco. I tried. I tried so hard to reach her, but I couldn't, and then she fell, and…" A fresh wave of sobs made the next words unintelligible as her whole body shook in his arms.

  He balled his fists against the hot fury flooding through his veins at the injustice that let a young life slip away and left the woman that he loved – Christ he really did love her, he couldn't delude himself anymore – with haunting nightmares.

  "I'm sorry, Marco, you must hate me. Heaven knows, I hate myself. Mimi reminds me so much of her. I couldn't bear for anything to happen to Mimi. You've got to believe me. I have been extra careful. I know I shouldn't be here. I don't deserve to care for Mimi. I don't…"

  He tightened his grip on her, protectiveness welling up inside him, and he knew his own eyes held tears, when he cupped her face to make her look at him.

  "Listen to me, cara mia. This wasn't your fault. It was just a tragic accident, and no one blames you for Rosie, least of all me."

  She struggled off his lap, more tears spilling down her face.

  "No, you're wrong, Marco. They do blame me, and they have every right to. I should have protected her. She was their only daughter, a miracle IVF baby, and I …I failed them all. She was so beautiful, Marco, and clever, and spirited, and because I didn't pay attention for that one awful moment, she fell down those stairs. God, Marco, I will never forget her just lying there. She was so still. There wasn't a mark on her, but she wouldn't wake up." Elise clutched her arms around herself and swayed."They said she'd suffered massive brain damage. I prayed so hard… if only he'd let her live… but it was all for nothing. And Emma… she was so… Marco… the things she said to me… and she's right, I don't ever deserve children of my own. I'm not fit to be around them."

  Elise stopped talking, clearly lost in her painful past, and her whole body trembled. She refused to look at him.

  Marco's voice was harsher then he intended it to be.

  "Dio Santo, Elise, listen to yourself. Did you or did you not tell them that gate was faulty? Answer me, did you?"

  Her barely visible nod made him groan his frustration.

  "You told them several times. I know. I saw the inquest report. You were cleared of all blame. In fact Tom Milligan wrote you a glowing reference." Elise did look at him then. Her startled doe-like eyes made him smile.

  "How else did you think Jemima got the job, cara mia? And yes, I was furious at first when I looked into it. I thought she'd forged the references. Milligan put me straight on that. He said, and I quote, 'Elise loved Rosie as though she was her own. We know she did, and for what it's worth, I'm so sorry about the things we said. Grief does horrible things to you, and we had to blame someone'."

  Elise stood still, a glimmer of hope in her expressive eyes, and this time she didn't back away when he touched her. He took her in his arms and drew her close.

  "You should also know that they're expecting another baby anytime now. I dare say Rosie will never be forgotten, but they seem as happy as they can be, cara mia. What happened was horribly unjust, but it wasn't anyone's fault, do you hear me?"

  She nodded into his chest, and he cupped her chin to make her look at him.

  "I wish you'd have told me, but I don't blame you, and hell will freeze over first before I lose you over this." Before she could reply, he claimed her sweet lips. He smiled at her moaned response as her body moulded into his.

  His hands shook with the need to lose himself inside her right now. He would show her what he couldn't bring himself to say out loud. He deepened the kiss, tasting the salt of her tears under his tongue. His hands ripped away the sheet in his haste to feel her silky skin under his fingers. He cupped one freed breast, testing its weight.

  "You have spectacular breasts. Have I told you that? They make a man want to bury his cock in them and cover them with his cum."

  His cock hardened like granite at her sharp intake of breath. Her desire soaked eyes sought his, and he smiled. She trailed her hand down his six-pack, tracing the ridges, and he sucked in his breath at the feather light contact. Her hesitant smile made his chest feel tight with choked emotions he'd thought to never feel again. He groaned when her hand reached his cock and stroked him through his boxers. He walked her backwards to the bed and shoved her on top of it. She shrieked when he pulled her legs towards him so that her ass rested on the edge of the bed.

  "Marco, wh…what are you doing?"

  "Making you forget, pasticcino."

  He spread her legs and smiled at the beautiful sight of her pussy opening to him. Her nether lips glistened with her juices, her labia turning a lovely shade of pink, the longer he looked at it. She gasped when his fingers parted her folds, and he blew on the tight little bud hiding there. She writhed under him, and her clitoris swelled and hardened. His balls drew tight, and he knew his pre cum must be leaving a wet stain on his underwear, but he wanted this to last. This would not be a hard fuck. He wanted, needed to make love to her, to chase away the doubt in her eyes.

  "So beautiful, cara mia. I wish you could see how your pussy begs for my cock."

  "Marco, please…" He chuckled at her strained response and the blush that stole over her body.

  "Shhh, I've got you. I love how responsive you are, how wet, for me, and me alone."

  He spoke between open-mouthed kisses he trailed up her body slowly, across the velvet skin of her tummy, her muscles quivering under his lips. He swirled his tongue round her belly button and drank in the salty taste of her skin as her body broke out in beads of perspiration. He pushed his fingers into the wet haven of her pussy, and she clamped down. A rush of her juices coated his digits and aided their glide in and out of her hole pushing her closer to release. Her sweet musk filled the air, her soft, earthy moans urging him on. Suckling and nipping he paid homage to her incredible breasts. The dusky rose of her nipples just begged for his mouth and teeth to bring them to full attention. She arched off the bed when he bit down. He pulled back to admire his handiwork. Swollen and wet, her nipples stood proud, and his cock responded in kind. His gaze locked with hers, and the force of his feelings threatened to undo him. He smiled at her moan of protest when he moved on to her neck and finally claimed her lips again. Her hands fisted in his hair; her tongue swirled with his, and she writhed under him until her orgasm hit her with full force. He pulled back enough to watch her come apart. Her mouth opened; her breath came in short gasps, and her muscles quivered and clenched around his fingers buried deeply inside her tight channel. When the tiny shocks abated, he pulled his fingers out slowly and lifted his soaked fingers to her mouth.

  "Taste yourself."

  She obeyed, hesitant at first. Her tongue darted out of her mouth to clean his fingers, and Marco groaned at the erotic picture. His cock jerked, and he shut his eyes, willing the threatening orgasm to hold off. When he regained a modicum of control, he kissed her and sheathed himself inside her sweet cunt with one slow, torturous move. Her walls grabbed his cock, and she lifted her hips and dug her heels in his ass. She moaned into his mouth when he finally allowed himself to drive in and out of her slick folds. Her hips rose and met his as they found their rhythm.

  Sweet heaven, she felt so good, his wife, his love, his life. He was never going to be able to let
her go. Every thrust into her drove the truth further home, as they strived to reach completion together. How was he going to be able to hide this from her? And what would she do when she found out? Take his heart, and spit it out. He wrenched his lips from her struggling for control. Her hands cupped his face, her own eyes full of tears, huge with desire and need.

  "Let go, Marco. Give me all of you, please."

  Her tentative smile completely undid him, and he let himself go, pounding into her, her raspy breathing in his ear the most erotic sound ever. He couldn't hold out any longer. Her tight internal muscles gripped his length, massaging him as another climax racked through her. He felt himself going over growling her name, whilst drowning in the deep black pool of her eyes. His heart swelled to bursting with everything he didn't dare voice out loud.

  When he was finally able to breathe again he rolled her over with him. He kissed her between murmurs of Italian endearments he hoped to God she didn't know the meaning of.

  He held her for what seemed like an eternity waiting for his thundering heartbeat to slow down, her head cradled on his chest. Her breathing raised goose bumps on his fevered skin yearning for her touch.

  Her whispered, "Marco?" stopped him mid nibble on one delicious earlobe.

  "Mmm what, cara mia?"

  "Marco, stop it. I need to ask you something."

  "Spoil sport!" But he scooted himself up on the bed watching her. She was worrying her bottom lip with her teeth again, and he wiped his thumb across it to stop her. He smiled in satisfaction when her breathing hitched at the contact.

  "Stop worrying, cara mia, or I shall have to make you forget again."

  She blew a raspberry against his thumb, and his smile deepened.

  "Behave yourself, Marco. Be serious for a minute."

  "Who says I'm not being serious?" He took one of her hands guiding it to his hardening dick, and he chuckled at the blush spreading across her front. Si, she was as helpless to resist the sexual pull between them as he was. If only he could be as certain of her feelings for him out of the bedroom. But he daren't let himself hope he was man enough for her. Perhaps in time his useless body would work and he could be the husband she deserved.

  "How did you find out about Rosie?"

  He couldn't stop the groan escaping. Damn it all to hell, he didn't want to discuss this now. But one quick glance at her drawn together eyebrows and serious expression told him she would not let this go.

  "I didn't, cara mia. Jennifer did, and her solicitors are trying to make a case out of it."

  "What do you mean? Marco, are they going to use this against you in the custody case? Is she actually fighting it?"

  Her righteous indignation gave him a warm, hopeful glow inside.

  "They're trying to, yes, but it's not going to get them anywhere. No chance in hell that bitch gets her hands on Mimi. There will be questions asked, and social services will want to speak to us but Robert has it in hand. All we have to do is convince them that we are a happily married couple. Apparently Jennifer has them convinced that our marriage is a sham, quite ironic really."

  Elise's furious growl was the sexiest sound he'd ever heard.

  "Oh she does, does she? Well, we'll just have to show her, won't we? We can do this Marco, you and me. It's the least I can do after everything you've done for Jemima. Seriously, whatever did you see in that woman?"

  She leant forward to kiss him, and he was grateful the darkness hid the tears in his eyes. He had his answer. She was doing this for Mimi and out of gratitude for her sister. But, heaven help him, he wanted so much more from her. He wanted the goddamn fairy-tale!

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The pounding on the door found them fast asleep in a tangle of arms and legs. The late morning sun made them both blink through gritty eyes when Stella's loud voice rang through the heavy door.

  "Marco, Elise? I take it you haven't killed each other in there? Hello! Dio Santo, answer me!"

  Elise had to smile at the expression in Marco's eyes, as he groaned and buried his face in her shoulder. "Do you think she will go away if we just ignore her, tesoro?"

  "Urm, knowing Mamma G, I don't think that's very likely." Elise felt his smile in the kiss on her shoulder, and right on cue more furious pounding could be heard.

  "Dannazioni, Marco Giovanni, mi risponde. Elise, so help me I will leave you in there!"

  Marco's amused, "Oh I wish you would, Zia Stella," made Elise giggle before the click of the lock had her scrambling under the covers. A frowning Mamma G stood in front of them. Her ice-blue eyes raked them. Then she pointedly looked at the piles of clothes strewn across the room. Heat rose in Elise's cheeks, and the blush spread all the way down to her toes when Stella's gaze fell on her torn knickers. Stella smiled briefly and nodded to herself.

  She said something to Marco in Italian, which made him laugh, and she turned about heel.

  "When you're decent, come down to the kitchen. I'm putting the coffee on."

  Marco kissed her nose, his eyes tender. "You heard her. We've been summoned, so best get dressed."

  "Easy for you to say. You're not missing your underwear!"

  His light hearted chuckle wrapped itself round her heart, whilst the sheepish look he threw her was in direct contrast to the heat in his eyes.

  "Yeah, sorry about that, cara mia. What can I say? I can't resist you."

  He ducked the cushion she threw at him with another chuckle.

  "Yes, you look really sorry, Marco!"

  "Would you like me to show you exactly how sorry I am?" His suggestive drawl had her running from him. She slammed the bathroom door shut behind her.

  "I'll see you down stairs, angelo mio. Don't be too long. I expect you to rescue me from Mamma G."

  Ten minutes later, having hastily freshened up and feeling incredibly self-conscious in her knicker-less state, her mouth watered at the delicious aroma of freshly brewed Italian coffee. Marco looked up when she walked in, and his tense features relaxed. Elise walked into his embrace. If he was holding her a bit too tightly, only she was aware of it.

  "Well, it's good to see you two have sorted out your differences. Have some coffee, Elise. You look as though you need it."

  She passed a steaming mug of freshly brewed coffee across the breakfast bar, and Elise accepted it gratefully whilst pulling her skirt a bit lower. A movement not lost on the elderly woman, and Elise squirmed under her knowing smile. Marco's silent chuckle trembled through her back, and she was all too aware of the heat once again creeping into her cheeks.

  Way to go, girl. Just make sure they both know you have never gone commando before. Best just feign interest in that coffee cup.

  "Marco was just filling me in on the latest developments with the custody case. I cannot believe the woman has the nerve to fight this. She has never shown the slightest interest in that little girl. Now Mimi is finally coming out of her shell she wants to see her. Over my dead body. To think I once used to defend her. My past judgment has clearly been seriously off." She threw a reassuring smile towards Elise. "I hope you've made it clear to Robert that there is no way in hell we will ever allow her to get her hands on Mimi, Marco."

  "That goes without saying."

  Marco's barely controlled groan resonated through Elise, and she threaded her fingers through his. She earned herself a gentle kiss on the neck which caused an army of butterflies to descend on her tummy. Oh my, she was going to fall in love with him all over again if he kept this up.

  "How is Mimi this morning? She was up so late last night and with all the excitement of the day, did she sleep well? I know she tends to have nightmares when she's been that over-stimulated?" Elise asked.

  Stella's frown changed into a warm smile when she replied,"Yes, she's fine. She asked after you, Elise. Well she asked for Mamma Lissss to be precise, so I reckon that's you."

  Elise's heart beat in a very strange rhythm, and she furiously blinked away tears, dimly aware of Marco's soft exclamation in Italian. He pul
led her further into him.

  "She said what? But she can't have," Elise said in a far too shaky voice.

  Mamma G just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. She said something in Italian to Marco and patted Elise's arm.

  "Best get back to her. She'll want her mamma, won't she, Marco?" Stella left them alone in the suddenly too small kitchen.

  Elise scrambled off her chair. She had to put some distance between herself and Marco. She risked a glance at his face. How was he reacting to this news? He was so protective of Mimi; she was half expecting him to be furious. Just when they were getting on so well, too.

  His soft curse made her jump.

  "You heard her. She needs her mama, so let's go."

  They were silent on the drive back to Marco's, both lost in their own thoughts. Marco's occasional glances towards her sent her heartbeat into overdrive. If only she knew what he was thinking. He didn't seem annoyed, but he didn't exactly look pleased either.

  "We're home, Mamma."

  Her startled gaze flew to his smiling face, and she noticed that they had indeed made it home. When did that happen?

  "Wha... what did you just call me?" Instead of answering her, he scooped her up in his arms. He caught her shriek of surprise in a passionate kiss which left her breathlessly clinging onto his shoulders. Marco carried her effortlessly over the threshold, to all intents and purposes as though they had just gotten married, past a smiling Agnes, who murmured something about young love, and Elise buried her face in his shoulder.

  "Put me down, you silly man. You'll hurt your shoulder again."

  "My shoulder is fine, angelo mio." He slid her slowly down his front his eyes full of deep emotion she didn't dare analyse just then, even as her breathing sped up and her silly little heart jumped in excitement like a rabbit in the morning dew.

  "Papa, Mamma!" Mimi's excited shriek broke the sensual spell between them, and Marco swung his daughter up on his broad shoulders. Mimi giggled, and Elise had to turn away to hide her tears.