He had made bug out bags for each of them, and they’d started helping with the clearings, and they took turns caring for the animals. If you were out the door, you had your pack on your back. That was the rule because the hordes appeared suddenly and without warning. He didn’t want anyone dying from exposure because they were trapped outside for a night.
He took a deep satisfied breath, and felt the dull ache that was his constant companion. He knew it could take several months to heal, and that the pain could remain even longer. He could live with pain; the physical kind was easier to take than the emotional.
His eyes settled on Juliette and his soul sighed. That was how he felt every time he looked at her. For all of the terror and insanity going on outside their safe zone, he had felt happier and freer than he had in a long time.
She’d had basic self-defense training when she lived on base as a teen, and she caught on quickly. He believed she could defend herself well if the need arose. “Juliette,” when he said her name, he saw the passion ignite in her eyes. What they had was tentative, cautious. They both knew that the stakes were high now, the chance for heartache greater. But they were tethered together by an invisible thread, their souls made for one another.
“Mitch,” she replied, a small smile playing on her lips. She had confessed yesterday, when they were alone together, how much she enjoyed being his student. She loved watching him own the room. What he wanted to own was her body. A house full of children when you’re sleeping in the living room wasn’t the place to do so. She had taken to sleeping in the recliner beside him every night. They would quietly tell each other stories about life before everything changed. She had an insatiable curiosity for his past, endless questions about the most bizarre things. Last night, she had asked him how old he was when he first learned to tie his shoes. It was like she wanted to know every detail about him. All the pieces that made him the man that he was.
He’d never encountered anything like this. He and Isabelle had grown up together for the most part, and what had come before didn’t matter. It was almost an instant union, that day, playing baseball in Ms. Z’s back yard.
This experience with Juliette was more like an exploration of the psyche. Tiny nuggets of history that revealed the heart within. He could hear the softness and love in her voice when she spoke of her family and he knew how profoundly the loss of her sister affected her. He liked to believe that he was helping her to heal as much as she was him.
“Tell me the rules,” he said finally, never taking his eyes off of hers.
“Rule number one, weapon on your person at all times. As Anna has just said,” she started, giving him a wink. “Rule number two, if you’re out the door, your pack is on your back. Rule number three, never leave the house alone. As you have established here daily, these rules will keep us alive.”
“Thank you, Juliette,” he said, satisfied with the whole group. They were prepared. They had each used the combat skills they were learning to take down roamers that made it within the perimeter. Even Jimmy, who was the hardest to see walk out the doors. Mitch thought about the youngest member of their group. It was sometimes easy to forget he was still a child because of his wisdom that transcended age. Mitch was determined to give him a piece of childhood however he could, even in this world. His birthday was in a few weeks, the day after Christmas, coincidentally the same day as Kate’s. The two of them were kindred spirits. He wanted to make the day special for both of them.
Kate had begun a school of sorts, working with each of the children daily. It was always a one on one class. She had told him privately that this was as much for herself as it was the children. She would rather fill her days with work she deemed important than just constant useless worry.
Mike communicated every night with a crew at the Fort Lewis Army base. They were doing survivor pick-ups daily. Their base had become one of many Military “safe” zones across America. The sad truth was that they could be wiped out in a single incident. It had happened last week in Michigan. One of the guys that Mike talked with daily had told him about it. The last transmission from Camp Grayling said not to send help, all attempts to hold the line had been lost, there would be no survivors.
There was life in this house, a constant flurry of activity, all geared toward survival. But outside of these walls, there was death. Constantly threatening, like a cruel wave on a stormy sea to wash across the lands and take hope with it when it subsides.
“I’m proud of you all, but don’t get too secure in your safety. Remember, you need to be aware of your surroundings at all times. That’s all for today,” he finished, feeling satisfied with the day's lesson.
It didn’t take long for the room to empty, except for Juliette, “Is there anything I could help you with?” she asked as she walked up to him. This had also become part of their daily routine. She needed to stay busy. So far, they had sorted and organized all of the medical supplies. It was a huge undertaking that could potentially save lives in the future. Juliette wanted them to move the infirmary down to the basement where the majority of the supplies were stored, or clear out one of the other rooms on the main floor and make it the supply room.
He liked the second idea better. He thought that the location of the infirmary was more important than the closeness of the supplies, although he was entertaining the idea of moving the spare room that Juliette had been sleeping in, before they had moved to the recliners, down to the basement. It would be nice to have everything stored just across the hall.
“Do you really want your room to be down here, in the basement?” he asked, wanting to be sure she had thought about it.
“It’s hardly my room,” she responded.
Henry had begun sleeping in there the first night that he and Hayden had joined them. Mitch still thought of the room as Juliette’s, but, she had given it up for a recliner in the living room. She had given it up for him.
“I have no qualms about kicking the kid out of your bed. If you want to reclaim it. Or you could just start sleeping in my room, I think I’m just about ready to sleep lying down again, and it makes sense that we bunk up together. For safety,” he said, his tone deep and gravely as he put his hands on her waist and pulled her close. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment and just took in the beauty of her face. Her hair had grown quite a bit in the month that they had been here and it was now starting to curl wildly at the ends. He loved that it made her look free, and unrestrained.
When he touched his lips to the corner of her mouth, he felt an instant softening of her body as she let out a little moan and deepened the kiss. “I think that sounds like an excellent idea, you can never be too safe,” she whispered as she pulled back from the kiss when they heard someone descending the stairs.
Mitch was surprised to see Mike walk into the room. It wasn’t typical for him to come down. He liked to either be out, keeping the area clear, or on the radio, talking to other survivor camps. Mitch knew he was going to leave. He could sense it in the way that he paced when everyone else was holding still. He was born for action.
“What’s the word?” Mitch asked.
“I think I found Anna the best way to D.C. We’re going to have to be ready to go in four days though. The pick-up will be at the top of the pass. My guy says they have a place set up for medivac, so they won’t have a hard time setting down there,” Mike told him.
“I’m not sure she’s ready,” Mitch said, automatically hating the idea. He thought he was going to be able to work with her through the winter. A few short weeks wasn't long enough.
“Damn it, Mitch! You know as well as I do that a chopper ride is the safest way for her to travel across the country. Use your head, it’s not always about you. Think about her, think about me,” Mike exploded, his fury surprising everyone in the room.
Mitch took a step back, feeling the blow of his friend’s words. “Why does it have to be in four days? What’s the rush? You said these guys are making regular trips across the country
, you could wait, let her get a little more training,” he tried to reason.
“In four days, they are heading to the base in D.C. We’re going to be on that chopper,” Mike replied with finality, as he turned to leave the room, punching the wall by the door casing on his way out.
“Well, I guess that’s the end of the conversation then,” Juliette said, exasperated.
“It’s always been that way with Mike. Once his mind is made up, that’s the end of it. He’s right though, a flight to D.C. is a dream, a real chance for them. I just don’t like it. They’re safe here, and once they walk out that door, we’ll probably never see them again,” Mitch told her, feeling the reality of his words sink like stones in his stomach. Mike had been his best friend, his brother, since his first day in BUD (Basic Underwater Demolition) training. His hesitancy to let them go had more to do with Mike than it did Anna. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to his friend.
“You can’t think that way, Mitch,” her voice was carefully mellow and smooth. “You don’t know that,” Juliette added, as she ran her hand down his arm. He shrugged off her pity, he didn’t need that shit from anyone, least of all her.
Mitch clenched his fists as his face heated. “The fuck I don’t! You think they’re just going to go for a little vacation and then make their way back here? Where’s your head, I thought you were smarter than that,” he roared as his anger reached the breaking point.
“Really? That’s how you want to play this, turn into an asshole to everyone around you? Yeah, I’m sure that’ll make everything better,” she snapped, shaking her head as she turned to leave the room.
Mitch sat, instantly deflated. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the feeling of his chest as it filled with each deep breath. He was glad that she left. This situation was making him crazy and he needed some time alone to get a hold of himself. Mike was leaving, and there was nothing he could do about it. He needed to stamp down the anger and sadness that were at war within him before he drove everyone else away too.
He sat that way until the pain in his ribs wouldn’t allow it anymore. When he opened his eyes, he wasn’t surprised to see Jimmy sitting there on the ground beside him. His back was against the wall, and his little legs were crisscrossed in front of him with his hands resting palm up on each knee. The tip of each thumb and ring finger were touching. He was in full meditation, his eyebrows furrowed as his face scrunched together. When his eyes popped open, he saw Mitch staring at him and he let out an unexpected scream. He threw his hand up over his mouth and began breathing deeply in and out into his palm.
Mitch had gotten used to glancing down to find that Jimmy was right beside him, and if he was sitting like this, in full meditation, it was always next to someone he fully trusted. Someone who could keep him safe. Mitch had never seen him react like this coming out of it. He sat watching Jimmy, not sure if he should touch him or not. As soon as he had the thought, Jimmy’s eyes met his, he dropped his hands, letting out one last mournful cry before he slumped over into Mitch’s lap.
Mitch adjusted his body, ignoring the sharp pain in his ribs. He scooped up the boy, and held his body close; hoping to extend some sort of comfort to Jimmy as he ascended the stairs two at a time. He needed to find Emily and Kate. They understood the boy better than anyone. “It’s okay, Jimmy, it’s going to be okay,” he said softly, as they reached the top of the stairs.
“I want to believe that, Mitch, I really do, but I’m not so sure,” Jimmy whispered, his face scrunched in anguish as silent tears ran down his cheeks. Mitch’s heart began to race. Whatever Jimmy had seen must have been devastating. He had never reacted like this, like he had lost all hope.
Micah had just reached the landing from upstairs when Mitch walked into the room. From the look on his face, Mitch surmised that whatever Jimmy was going through, he wasn’t alone. Emily was right behind Micah on the stairs. She stood composed, but she couldn’t hide the concern swimming in her eyes.
“Emily, I need you to get Jimmy some blankets, I think he’s going into shock,” he said as he laid the boy on the sofa, “And get Kate.”
“What happened, Dad?” she asked as she went to the hall closet and took out the blankets. “Micah just freaked,” she said nodding toward her brother who sat shaking on the end of the sofa. Micah reached a long arm forward and grabbed Jimmy’s little hand.
“You can’t lose hope, little B, there’s got to be a way,” Micah said, his voice low and hollow.
“They want to kill us all,” Jimmy responded, completely devoid of the emotion that had just been there. There was a note of finality in his words. As Emily laid the blankets carefully over his tiny form, Mitch noted the goosebumps that covered her arms. He felt a sickening chill climb up his spine.
“What do you mean?” he growled, the words sounding much harsher than he had intended.
Emily’s gaze snapped up to him, a warning in her glare. He needed to get a hold of himself. “We’ll figure it out, Jimmy. Whatever it is, there’s got to be a way around it. We’ll find it together,” she told him as she tucked the blanket up under his chin. “Big breaths in, just breathe, nothing has happened yet, you know things can change. We’ll find a way to change this,” she told him as she coached his breathing with her own.
Mitch stepped back from the group, needing to distance himself for just a moment, “I’m going to get Kate, you just stay with the boys,” he told his daughter, as he went in search of the one person who had always offered him solace.
“Just-- hurry-- back,” Emily stuttered, a hard edge of fear in her voice. “And find Drew,” she added, regaining her composure.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jimmy
I try to concentrate on my breathing, and all of the parts of my body working together in harmony to keep me alive. It’s something Nana Kate has been teaching me every day. We meditate together, it makes it easier to receive the visions. I’m so thankful for Nana Kate, and all of my other new friends. But now when I think about them, it makes it hard to breathe.
I open my eyes and see Emily’s piercing green ones looking back at me. Her colors are all wrong. They are usually so clear and bright, but right now she’s surrounded by a deep muddy blue. I’ll have to remember to ask Nana Kate what that means, we talk a lot about the colors.
She tries to smile, but it’s all wrong, everything is going wrong. “It’ll be okay Jimmy, we’ll figure it out,” she says. It’s the third time she’s said it in the last few minutes. I don’t think she believes it either.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks softly.
I really don’t know how to talk to her about what I saw. It was terrible--the worst it’s been since this all started. Normally, I get more than one flash and everything plays out a bunch of different ways until it settles on the most likely future. This time it was just the one. Nothing after. I can’t tell her that. I don’t want to tell everyone that they’re all going to die. We’re all going to die. Unless something changes. But I know they need to know. I’m going to have to tell them. I wish my mom was here, she could make this better.
“I’d rather wait until everyone is here,” I tell her, I don’t want to have to say it more than once. I hope Kate comes soon, I really want her to sit with me. She makes me feel stronger and safer than anyone else does. She is like pure love, I’ve never seen anything like it, her color is always pink, with just a ring of orange. She says the orange is what gives her the spunk. She is my safety in this scary new world.
As soon as she walks into the room and my eyes lock with hers, I start to cry. I can’t help it. She rushes toward me and slides onto the sofa next to Micah, “Come here, my boy, let me hold you,” she says, opening her arms to me. As soon as she’s holding me tight I start to calm. Maybe Emily’s right, maybe we can do something about this. I just don’t know how. How do you change the minds of leaders a world away from us? They had a vote, it’s already been decided.
I look up at Nana Kate, and when her tired blue
eyes meet mine, I don’t see fear there. I see determination, and I feel a small spark of hope begin to grow inside of me. This can’t be it, I know in my heart that if they go through with their plans it will be the beginning of the end for all of mankind. I am meant to save them all, if they drop their bombs, it’ll just be a matter of time before this outbreak reaches them and they’ll be lost too.
“Don’t worry my little friend. We’ll make this better, we just have to think about it some, there is always a solution to every problem,” Kate whispers in my ear as the others begin to file into the room.
Everyone is so quiet, and they all look so scared. Juliette is standing to the side of Micah, rubbing slow circles over his back, trying to calm him. He is shaking from feeling what I’m feeling along with every other person in the room. I feel sorry for him, if I put effort into it, I can hear people’s thoughts, but I can’t feel their emotions. It must be hard.
I take one last deep breath when Travis walks in. His colors are orange and green; he and Nana Kate are a lot alike. He looks really anxious too. Everyone is so frightened, I need to just get this over with. Maybe someone will know what to do.
I slowly count to ten in my head, trying to find the right words to tell them all what I saw. When I look up at Anna, she looks so calm, her yellow shining as brightly as it always does, not a trace of fear on her face. Suddenly things shift. For a split second, I see the future change, and then it’s gone in an instant. What does that mean? I look around to all of them, and just once, I wish I wasn’t the only one who saw these things. That there was someone who could help me understand.
I lock eyes with Mitch, who is sitting in the chair next to the fireplace, he’s leaning forward, elbows on his knees, resting his face in his hands. “It’s all right Jimmy, we’re all here now, go ahead and tell us what happened,” he says, trying to encourage me, as he changes position, leaning back in his chair.
Side Effects: Book Two: Visions of Despair Page 17