Delirious

by Suzannah Daniels

  I had traded my red, compact car in a couple of years ago on a slightly used mid-sized car, but it was nowhere near as nice as Scarlet’s. It didn’t matter much to me, though, because my car still got me everywhere I needed to go.

  When we pulled into the Hamiltons’ driveway, I was surprised to find Stone’s car parked there, along with Dylan’s and Mr. Hamilton’s.

  After we parked, I met Scarlet in the driveway.

  “Maybe they’re finished with whatever they were doing,” Scarlet suggested as she motioned toward their cars.

  “Maybe so.”

  The garage door was open, and I followed Scarlet as she walked through the garage and into the finished basement. She thought Mrs. Hamilton might have Isabella in the downstairs family room, but after we determined they weren’t downstairs, I heard loud, muffled voices coming from the stairway.

  Stone

  I could see Dad’s glowering stare, the same one that I’d seen on his face more times than I cared to remember.

  “Is this true, Stone?” Dylan asked. I shifted my gaze to him, a look of disbelief etched in his features.

  Like everyone else, my mother’s eyes had settled on my face. They were all waiting for an explanation, but I couldn’t give them one. Not now. Not without hurting the people that I loved the most.

  “Damn it, Stone,” my dad thundered, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

  “Yeah, Dad, I did it! Is that what you’re waiting to hear? I did it!”

  “Shit, Stone, you stole money from the company?” I could hear the disappointment in Dylan’s voice.

  My dad threaded both of his hands through his hair as if he were trying to do something, anything to help him cope with the truth. “What the hell were you thinking? You could seriously steal from your own family?”

  My mother watched the exchange quietly, even she, the one who always buffered the tense situations, had no idea what to say.

  I clenched my jaw. Their reactions hadn’t changed. They always thought the worst of me. Maybe there was no hope. Maybe that was the conclusion that they’d always come to, no matter what I did, no matter how many years had gone by. “I didn’t technically steal it. I borrowed it.”

  “You don’t borrow twenty-five thousand dollars without mentioning it!” my father roared, the veins in his temple bulging. “The last time I checked, I still owned Hamilton Enterprises, not you.” He pointed at me, his eyes wild with anger. “I can’t believe you would steal from your own family!”

  “If I’d had the intentions of stealing it, I wouldn’t have told Tom to make a journal entry showing that I owed the company that money, would I?”

  “That’s not the point, Stone. You still removed twenty-five thousand dollars from the corporate bank account without consulting us. What are we supposed to conclude from that?”

  “What did you do with the money?” Dylan asked.

  I stood motionless, returning his stare.

  “Are you in some kind of trouble?” My mother’s soft voice was a stark contrast to my father’s thundering shouts.

  I wished that I could explain, and I briefly considered it before dismissing the idea.

  “Where’s the money?” my father demanded.

  I looked him in the eyes. “It’s gone.”

  “I heard you on the phone making a wager not long ago,” Dylan said. “Is this some sort of gambling debt?”

  “Hell, no,” I answered.

  “Are you on drugs?” my father asked, his brows drawn over his eyes in an angry slash.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose and tilted my head downward. It never changed.

  “Answer me,” my father commanded.

  I looked at him and said quietly. “I’ll pay you back.”

  “You’re damn right you will. And I’ll not spend another penny on you until you have.”

  “Everything’s not about money, Dad. I don’t give a damn whether you spend another penny on me. In fact, you can start by canceling the wedding!”

  “Stone,” my mother said, “we’ve already invited three hundred people to the wedding.”

  Clearly unsure of where the wedding stood, her gaze toggled between my father and me.

  “I’m sick of all this shit! Y’all always jump to the worst possible conclusions where I’m concerned, don’t you?” I asked my father, pointing at him as my anger rose. “Cancel the wedding. I don’t give a damn if I have to call everyone myself!”

  “This can all be worked out,” my mother assured me. “We’re not canceling the wedding.”

  “Money’s not the only reason I want to cancel it,” I told her.

  “Stone?”

  We all turned at the unexpected voice. Dara stood quietly at the top of the basement steps, her sad, green eyes wide with horror as she focused them on me.

  “What the hell is she doing here?” I demanded to know, angry that my father brought all this shit up like this, angry that she’d overheard.

  Her chin quivered, and she turned and raced down the stairs, nearly knocking Scarlet over in the process.

  “Shit!” I blew out angrily between clenched teeth. “Are you happy now, Dad?” I asked as I brushed my way past him and went after her.

  By the time I ran out of the garage, Dara was already in her car, backing down the driveway. I sprinted to my car, squealing the tires as I drove up the driveway, turned around, and sped back down it toward the main road. This was the exact kind of fiasco I was hoping to avoid.

  I chased her, and it didn’t take me long to catch up with her as she raced down the mountain. Desperately needing to talk to her, I motioned for her to pull over, but she continued to speed along the narrow road.

  Frustrated and angry, part of me wanted to stay on her bumper until she did as I asked, but she was already driving recklessly. I had visions of Luke’s crash, and my heart couldn’t survive another tragedy. I couldn’t lose Dara. I slowed, letting her pull away from me. When I came upon the next side road, I turned onto it, pulling my car to the grassy edge and turning the ignition off. I watched her as she disappeared.

  I slumped over the wheel, wondering how things had gotten so out of control. I felt like shit. My life was falling apart right before my eyes, and I had no idea what to do about it. I had been so close, so freaking close to having everything I’d ever wanted. And now it was gone. All of the carefully built trust I had with my father had vanished in one moment of weakness. My relationship with Dylan over the last few months had been better than it’d ever been since Luke’s death, and now I had no doubt that he despised me again. I knew my mother believed in me, but even she had doubt clouding her eyes. I could see it. I could feel it. And I hated it.

  But as bad as all that was, life wasn’t satisfied until it’d hurt the one person on this earth who meant the most to me. The pain in her eyes had ripped my heart to shreds, leaving a cold emptiness inside of me that left me frigid, despite the scorching temperatures outside. I had done everything I knew to do to keep her from feeling that kind of pain, and not only had I failed, but our relationship had been sundered in the process.

  I wondered if it would matter what I did at this point. The damage had been done. No one trusted me. I’d done the best I could with the precarious situation that I’d been dealt, and I’d failed miserably.

  I took a deep breath, trying to still the hot tears that threatened to seep from my eyes. Shit, shit, shit. I couldn’t cry like a freaking baby.

  I couldn’t…but I did. Once the tears started falling, I couldn’t stop them. My arms were crossed over the top of the steering wheel, and I buried my face in them. Why was life determined to keep me wallowing in misery?

  I thought of Dara’s face. My heart ached at the pain evident in her eyes, the pain that she felt as a result of my words, the pain that I’d promised myself I would protect her from. If only I’d known she was there….

  Damn, could I do nothing right?

  I leaned back and
slammed my palms against the steering wheel. I couldn’t lose her. I couldn’t.

  I wiped my eyes with my forearm and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I took a moment to compose myself and dialed her number.

  I silently begged her to pick up. If only I could talk to her....

  The phone rang and rang until voicemail finally answered. I hung up and dialed again, only to get the same result. I dialed again and again until I lost count how many times I had called her, hoping against hope that she would eventually pick up and talk to me.

  Damn.

  Pissed, I tossed the phone down in the seat beside me.

  Anguish consumed me, and I wanted to rip out my own heart, so I didn’t have to feel the pain. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. How could I get rid of this feeling? I had the overwhelming urge to get out of the car and beat it until every bit of glass was broken, until every inch of surface was dented or scratched. I needed some way to release the unbearable anger and guilt that screamed in my head until my skull felt like it would crack in two.

  I didn’t think I could feel any more tortured until I realized that Dara probably felt the exact same way.

  And it was my fault.

  Chapter 7

  Dara

  If someone had told me that Stone wanted to cancel the wedding, I would’ve never believed it. But I’d heard it with my own ears.

  My tears blurred my vision as I tried to drive. I didn’t even know where I was going. I just knew that I had to escape, and I didn’t want to go anywhere where he would find me. When he’d tried to call me, it was so hard not to answer. I wanted to hear his voice reassure me that everything was going to be fine, that he hadn’t meant it. But I hadn’t answered because I was afraid that he would lie to me, that he would tell me exactly what I wanted to hear, that his words represented nothing more than a fanciful make-believe where the princess always gets her prince. I was also scared that he would tell me the truth, that he really did want to call off the wedding, and I wasn’t prepared to hear those words from him.

  So I didn’t answer. I just drove, trying to make sense of the scene that I’d just witnessed.

  It felt surreal. He would never do those things, never say those things, not the man who’d given me the necklace that weighted against my chest even now, like his palm pressing over my heart.

  Instinctively, my fingers reached for it, felt its smooth surface, and as he instructed, I imagined him caressing my skin. The tears fell faster. I wanted to feel his caress now. I wanted his warm fingertips to glide along my skin, reassuring me that he loved me. I wanted this all to be a horrible nightmare.

  Maybe the ominous darkness of the sky had been an omen of the horrible truths that I would learn today.

  I wanted to disappear like a crab who buries itself in the wet sand after a cruel wave crashes onto the beach and forces it from its secure spot. I was scrambling, scrambling to find another safe haven after I’d been dislodged from the feeling of security that surrounded me only this morning. I suddenly felt exposed, like everything I knew was a lie, like the one man with whom I’d planned to spend my life had vanished, leaving a cruel imposter in his wake.

  I wanted to jump into the waves and disappear, let the current take me somewhere, anywhere but this ugly, cold, cruel stretch of beach.

  ***

  Stone

  I didn’t know how long I’d sat there. I was pissed. I was pissed that Dara was upset. I was pissed that my father had assumed the worst of me. I was pissed that I’d been put in this situation to begin with.

  I forced myself to take deep breaths until some of the anger dispelled. I held my head in my palms as I tried to figure out where I went from here. I’d screwed everything up trying to take care of one problem by myself. Hell, I didn’t need to do it again. I needed help, and as much as I hated to admit it, if anyone could help me climb out of this cold, dark, lonely hole I found myself in, it was my father.

  I dialed his cell number, and he answered immediately. “Dad.” It came out a hoarse whisper. He said my name, not with malice, not with anger, just a father letting his son know that he was listening.

  I tried to take a deep breath as agony eddied in my chest, as the vision of Dara’s pain-etched face tormented me, as all the guilt from Luke’s death haunted me, as the knowledge that I’d taken money from the company without consulting my father assaulted me. I closed my eyes. “Shit, Dad,” I mumbled, my voice breaking up, “I need your help.”

  He agreed to meet me at Quail Mountain Park, which was only a few minutes away.

  A few people meandered around the park, but Dad waited for me at a secluded, shaded bench near the edge of the woods. I parked and walked to him, loosening the tie that felt like a noose around my neck. Sitting beside him, I rested my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my palms. I didn’t say anything, just wrestled with my composure as he gently laid a hand on my shoulder.

  He didn’t speak. He just waited patiently, silently letting me know that he was there for me.

  I rubbed my palm across my face and shook my head, as if that action would rid me of the misery that weighed me down.

  “I don’t know what to do,” I said, unable to look him in the eyes.

  “Stone, you know, no matter what you’re about to tell me, that I love you, son, and I’m here for you. If you need me, all you ever have to do is ask.”

  I clenched my teeth and pressed the heels of my palms against my forehead. “I wanted to take care of it myself, Dad. I didn’t want to have to tell you or Mom, and I sure as hell didn’t want to have to tell Dara.”

  I inhaled a shaky breath.

  “Have you seen how happy Mom has been lately? She’s helping with the wedding. She has a grandchild. Hell, Dad, I couldn’t screw all that up. I couldn’t let y’all be robbed of your happiness a second time.

  “I just wanted the problem to go the hell away.”

  “Whatever it is, Stone, we’ll deal with it.”

  “Shit, I don’t want to have to tell you.” My temples ached, and stress caused my shoulders to tense.

  “Do you have a drug problem? Has a dealer been after you?”

  “Hell, no. It has nothing to do with drugs. It has nothing to do with gambling.”

  “Then what is it? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

  I took a deep breath. I was in too deep now. “I was being blackmailed.”

  “Blackmailed? Who the hell would want to blackmail you? And why?”

  Dara

  By the time I pulled up to Crimson’s new apartment in Atlanta, the sun was low on the horizon, and darkness would fall soon. I welcomed the night, hoping that when I awoke in the morning, I would find this all some dreadful illusion in my mind’s eye. It couldn’t possibly be real.

  Crimson must’ve been watching for me because she met me at the car before I’d even gotten out. She pulled me into her embrace, soothing me with soft whispers, and I clung to her for support, both mental and physical.

  Sweeping me inside her ground floor apartment, she motioned for me to sit on the couch while she fixed me a glass of water.

  Sitting it on a coaster in front of me on the coffee table, she sunk down beside me and handed me some tissues.

  “What’s going on?” she asked, softly, brushing a strand of hair away from my face with a manicured nail. “I couldn’t make out what you were saying on the phone.”

  I could feel my chin quivering, my face trying to scrunch into an ugly cry, as I remembered Stone admitting that he’d taken money from the company and then demanding that his parents cancel the wedding. I could also clearly remember him saying that money wasn’t the only reason he wanted to cancel the wedding. His words resonated in my head. I could hear them so clearly, even the inflection of his voice.

  I closed my eyes, dabbing at them with a tissue, and reached for the smooth, silver, heart pendant that dangled around my neck. I forced myself to remember the words that he’d spoken when he’d given it to me, not the
nauseating words that I’d heard him say today.

  Taking a deep breath, I tried to speak clearly. “Stone doesn’t want to marry me.” My voice cracked but was audible.

  “What?” Crimson asked, gawking at me in disbelief with huge, brown eyes. “He told you that?”

  I caressed the pendant, clinging to it as if it would magically make my melancholy disappear, as if it would transport me back to the day that he’d given it to me, when we were happy and in love. “I overheard him talking to his parents.” I took a sip of water, moistening my mouth so I could explain everything that had happened.

  Crimson leaned back against the couch, staring at me with sympathetic eyes. “I just can’t believe it, Dara. Something’s not right. Why didn’t Scarlet call me and tell me this was going on? I should call her.”

  “No,” I begged, grasping her arm. “Please don’t tell her that I’m here. She’ll tell Dylan and Dylan will tell Stone. I just need some time to digest everything that’s happened today.”

  “Have you told your mother?”

  “No, I haven’t talked to her, and I couldn’t go to her house like this. I don’t want Emma to see me in such a mess.”

  “You can’t just run away. You need to talk to him and find out what’s going on, and if you don’t, I will.”

  “Not yet. What if he confirms it? What if he looks me right in the eyes and tells me that he doesn’t want to marry me anymore?”

  “Then I’ll tell him what an asshat he is.”

  I squeezed my eyes closed, forcing the hot tears onto my cheeks, so that I could wipe them away.

  Crimson rubbed my arm in an effort to comfort me. “There must be some explanation. I don’t believe for one minute that Stone doesn’t want to marry you.”

  “Then why would he tell his parents to cancel the wedding? And why would he tell them that money wasn’t the only reason?” I crumpled the tissue in my hand. “I mean what else could he have possibly meant?”