Delirious

by Suzannah Daniels

  “It just doesn’t make any sense,” Crimson said, her eyes filled with pity.

  “I love him so much,” I whispered. “We’ve been together five years. How can he dump me after all we’ve been through?”

  “I don’t know.”

  As my brain tried to find the answer, my heart dropped when one possibility came to mind. I wanted to reject the idea, to say that it wasn’t even an option, and maybe I would’ve earlier today, but things had changed. “Do you think he’s found someone else?”

  Crimson watched me closely. She opened her mouth but then quickly shut it. Even she couldn’t flat out deny it, and she’d always been a strong proponent for Stone.

  I would’ve felt better if she’d told me it wasn’t possible. “What else could it be?”

  “Look at this way,” she said, “if he’s found someone else, then it’s better to find out about it now instead of after the wedding.”

  “That may be true,” I conceded, “but it doesn’t make me feel any better.”

  “Talk to him, Dara. At least you’ll know the truth.”

  “I don’t want to talk to him.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to call Scarlet? Maybe she’s heard something that you’re not aware of.”

  “Promise me you won’t talk to her, Crimson.”

  She held her hands up in surrender. “Fine. I won’t talk to her. What if she calls me?”

  “Then act like you don’t know anything about it.”

  “Has he tried to call you lately?”

  I shrugged. “My phone’s cut off. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to talk to anybody.”

  “Why don’t I show you to the guest room?” Crimson asked. “I’m sure you’d like to rest. Did you bring any clothes?”

  I shook my head. “No. I came straight here. I was afraid that if I went home, he would follow me.”

  “I’ll get you some pajamas.”

  I followed Crimson to her room, where she fished a set of pink polka dot pajamas from her chest and handed them to me. She then showed me the guest bedroom, which had its own private bathroom.

  “I’ll let you have some time by yourself, but if you want to talk or if you get hungry or if you need anything, just let me know.”

  I hugged Crimson’s neck. “I will.”

  She turned to go.

  “Thank you, Crimson.”

  She glanced back over her shoulder. “You’re welcome. For what it’s worth, I think the two of you were meant to be together.”

  I pursed my quivering lips and nodded my head, wanting desperately to believe her words.

  When she closed the door, I pulled my phone out of my pocket, my finger hovering over the power button. I didn’t have the courage to turn it on. I didn’t have the courage to find out that our relationship was over. I knew it was silly of me, but for right now, not knowing was better. At least now, I had hope.

  If only I could get his words out of my head.

  ***

  Stone

  I sat on my favorite chaise lounge, staring into the night sky. Heavy clouds obscured the stars and the moon, leaving Quail Mountain bathed in gloom. The sky matched my disposition as I thought about everything that had happened today.

  As much as I hated telling my father the chain of events that had led to today’s disastrous incident, I must say he was much more understanding than I’d ever expected. He hadn’t agreed with everything I’d done, but he knew why I had done it.

  I felt somewhat better now that I didn’t carry the burden alone, but even he couldn’t tell me whether or how much I should tell Dara. He didn’t even know how much he wanted to tell my mother. We both wanted to protect the women that we loved, but neither of us knew whether that philosophy was best served by telling them everything, nothing, or something in between.

  The only problem was that Dara and my mother both knew enough to know that something was very, very wrong. So telling them nothing was not an option. Not anymore.

  Maybe it would’ve been if I’d gone to my dad in the beginning, but I’d wanted to protect him, as well. So much for that brilliant strategy.

  At this point, there was nothing I could do to recover the money. Had things worked out the way I’d expected, it would’ve been worth every penny to me. But now not only was I out the money, but the truth was going to bite, anyway, a deep, penetrating bite that would be painful, that would leave scars.

  After we’d gotten back home, I’d stayed in my room until my parents went to bed. I didn’t want to discuss anything, not the money, not the wedding, not the fact that I had no idea where Dara was. I’d blown up her phone, something I’d always despised, and she never answered. In fact, most of the time, it’d gone straight to voice mail. I couldn’t blame her for not wanting to talk to me. Why should she?

  Attempting to remember happier times, I thought about the night that I’d recreated the prom for Dara on this very patio—the same night that I had proposed.

  Thinking back, I could easily remember how beautiful she was, how much I’d loved her. I’d had no idea then that it was even possible to love her as much as I did now.

  I detested the bleakness of my situation. Without Dara, happiness was like sand drifting through my fingertips. I could catch a glimpse of it, feel it gather against my skin, but I would never be able to hold it, to experience it. I needed to talk to her.

  Pulling my phone from my pocket, I called her again, grasping onto the slippery thread of hope that maybe this time she’d turned on her phone, maybe this time she’d be willing to talk to me. It rang a few times before her voice mail picked up, and I left her the umpteenth message begging her to return my call.

  Despair weighted my shoulders, and I tried to decide whether I should attempt to call her again or just go to bed and hope that she’d be at work in the morning.

  I knew it was late, but I dialed Crimson’s number.

  She answered on the third ring. “Hello.” I could tell that she’d been asleep.

  “Crimson.”

  “Stone, do you know what time it is?”

  “Where is she? I need to talk to her.”

  “She doesn’t want…crap. Ignore what I just said. It’s not fair that you called me while I was half-asleep.”

  “You know where she is?”

  “Leave me out of it.”

  I closed my eyes, praying that she would tell me. “Where is she, Crimson? I need to talk to her.”

  “I can’t tell you anything.”

  “Crimson, you’ve always had my back, even when Scarlet didn’t. I need to know where she is.”

  “You’re asking me to betray my friend.”

  If I could just talk to Dara, if I could just explain to her what she had overheard. “I’m not asking you to betray her. I’m asking you to help me breathe, Crimson. Without Dara, I don’t have one damn reason to fill my lungs with air.”

  “Aw, Stone, you’re making it hard on me. How can I say ‘no’ to that?”

  I could feel a tiny bit of the weight lift from my chest. Crimson knew where she was.

  “Please tell me.”

  No response.

  “Crimson?”

  I looked at my phone, only to realize that either she’d hung up on me or we’d been disconnected.

  I immediately dialed her number, and it went straight to voice mail.

  “Damn it!” I wanted to chuck my phone across the patio, but it was the only way Dara would have to call me if she changed her mind.

  I jumped up from the lounge chair and leaned against the railing that overlooked the valley. Where was she?

  I paced the length of the patio, hoping that Crimson would call me back. After a few minutes, I tried her phone again with the same result.

  Tormented, I sat down and buried my face in my palms. I was driving myself insane. Was she in Atlanta? I looked at the time on my phone, calculating what time it would be when I arrived in Atlanta. I had never been to Crimson’s apartment, and I couldn’
t call Scarlet in the middle of the night and ask her for the address, not when she had Isabella to tend to. I couldn’t get it from the office until we opened in the morning, and even then, I had no idea if that’s even where Dara was.

  I dialed Crimson’s number again with no answer.

  Resigned to the fact that I wouldn’t talk to her tonight, I went to bed, knowing that I’d lie awake all night. Where was Dara, and what was going through her mind at this very moment?

  Chapter 8

  Stone

  I was staring at the ceiling when my alarm went off.

  Instead of the blissful ignorance of sleep, I lay awake with visions of Dara’s pained expression tormenting me.

  Crimson never called back, even though I’d lain with my phone in my hands, silently begging her to call me and tell me where I could find Dara.

  I sprang from the bed and hopped in the shower, thinking that if I left early enough, I could ride by Dara’s and her mother’s to see if she had landed at either of those places sometime during the night.

  Other than maybe the dark period following Luke’s death, I could never remember feeling as desperate as I did right now.

  I styled my hair, drenched my eyes with eye drops, and dressed in a charcoal suit with a crisp, white shirt and a black tie. If I didn’t find Dara before I arrived at work, then I hoped that she would be there, sitting in her office behind her way-too-organized desk.

  When I left the house, my father was already gone, and I assumed my mother was still in bed.

  I pulled into Dara’s driveway, but her car wasn’t there. I drove by her mother’s duplex, which was just a few minutes away, but Dara’s car wasn’t there, either.

  By the time I arrived at the office, it was a few minutes after eight o’clock. I hadn’t seen Dara’s car in the parking lot, and as I walked down the hall past Dylan’s office, he called to me.

  I stepped into his office.

  “Hey.”

  I didn’t know how much Dad had told him or if he’d mentioned anything at all. “Hey.”

  “Scarlet talked to her this morning. I just thought you might want to know that she’s okay.”

  Scarlet had talked to Dara? “You know where she is?”

  He shook his head. “No. I just know she won’t be in today.”

  My gaze fell to the floor.

  “I talked to Dad this morning,” Dylan said, leaning back in his chair, his hands clutching the armrests.

  “Is he here?”

  “Yeah, he’s in his office.”

  I nodded. “And what did he tell you?”

  “Not much. Just told me that you had good reasons for doing what you did and that it was your story to tell. Wanna talk about it?”

  “No. Not right now.”

  “Anything I can do to help?”

  “Yes, you can tell me where she is.”

  “I don’t know, but maybe I can do a little fishing for you.” Dylan picked up his office phone. “Close the door on your way out, and I’ll let you know as soon as I find out anything. I’d certainly want you to help me find Scarlet if the tables were turned.”

  I just nodded and left his office, closing the door behind me.

  Farther down the hall, I stepped into my father’s office. I pulled the door shut and sat in the chair across from his desk.

  “Did you tell Mom?”

  “Yeah. She was still upset when I left the house this morning.”

  “Well, I thought about it all night, and at this point, I feel like I just need to tell Dara everything.” I ran my hands through my hair. “I wanted to protect her, but since she walked in on our conversation, I don’t feel like I have a choice.”

  “She’s a strong, young woman, Stone, and she has you.”

  “Yeah, well, that doesn’t seem to be working in her favor at the moment.”

  “Why don’t you take the day off? Maybe you can find out whether she’s ready to talk or just needs a little more space.”

  “I’m going to. I’m just waiting to see if Dylan can find out where she is.”

  I got up to leave his office. As I wrapped my fingers around the door knob, he said, “I’m here if you need to talk.”

  I looked back at him. “Thanks, Dad.”

  When I stepped into the hall, I saw Dylan walking toward me, straightening his tie.

  “Did you find out anything?”

  “She was in Atlanta.”

  “I knew it.”

  He held a finger up. “But she’s on her way back to Quail Mountain. Scarlet’s under the impression that she’s going home and that she’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.”

  “I owe you one.”

  Dylan grinned. “You always do.”

  I’d never even made it to my office. I rushed toward the exit, hoping that Dylan was right, that she was on her way home.

  As difficult as it was, I tried to drive slowly. I didn’t want to risk getting there first, only to have her turn around and leave when she spotted my car, and I hoped that Dylan hadn’t clued in Scarlet that I was going to Dara’s. I didn’t know whether Scarlet would tell Dara, but her loyalties had always been with Dara, not me.

  Mentally, I tried to put together what I was going to say to her, how I was going to explain everything I’d been through lately and how it all led to the fiasco with my parents.

  When her house came into view, I was relieved to see her car in the driveway. I pulled in behind it and exhaled a sigh of relief. This was it. It was time to smooth things over. It had only been a day, but I had missed my girl. I couldn’t stand the thought of her hurting, and I sure as hell couldn’t stand the thought of living without her.

  I knocked on the door.

  No answer.

  I knew she heard me, so she had to be seriously pissed.

  I knocked again. “Come on, Dara. I know you’re in there, and I’m not leaving until we talk.”

  Her muffled response drifted through the door. “Go away, Stone. You’ve said enough.”

  I stood akimbo, wondering what my best course of action would be.

  I knocked again. “Dara, please.” Despite the fact that it was still early, the day was already warming up considerably. I removed my suit jacket and my tie and laid them across a small table between two of the rockers on her porch.

  After unbuttoning a couple of buttons around my neck and rolling my sleeves up, I walked back to the front door and stared at it. I wanted to knock the freaking thing down.

  Instead, I knocked firmly again. “Dara? Baby, you know I love you.”

  When my pledge of affection was rewarded with silence, I walked back over to the rocker and sat down. Resting my elbows on my knees, I held my head in my hands. It didn’t matter how hard I tried, I always managed to screw things up. If I could just explain, I knew she’d understand. I knew things would be back to normal.

  I squeezed my head, trying to tamp down the anger and frustration.

  When I heard the front door open, I jumped to my feet and spun in her direction.

  “Go home, Stone.”

  “I’m not leaving until you let me explain.”

  “What’s to explain? I heard you loud and clear that you wanted to cancel the wedding. Are you going to try to deny it?”

  I closed my eyes and shook my head. “No, of course not, but….”

  “But what? Because you see, Stone, I’ve thought of nothing but your words since I left your house. For the life of me, I can’t think of one plausible explanation why you would want to cancel the wedding unless you simply didn’t want to marry me.” She held her palm up, facing me, and I watched her eyes shine like green fire. She was definitely angry. “It’s fine. You’ve gotten cold feet, and you’ve changed your mind. It sucks, but it happens. Now go away.” She waved her hands in the air. “You’re free. I’m done with you. I want a husband, Stone. I want babies. I want to share my life with someone and raise a family. I want to sit in a rocker on a huge front porch, where I can spend time with my family an
d drink sweet tea and listen to the wind chimes. We obviously don’t want the same thing. So get the hell away from me because I don’t want to marry you, either.”

  That definitely got my attention. “You don’t want to marry me? What the hell are you talking about, Dara? I thought you loved me?”

  “I thought I did, too. Turns out, I was wrong. I really just love the idea of having a family. It’s something I’ve dreamed of my whole life. I had no control over my father and mother when I was growing up, but I do have control of my future. I can get married and be a good wife and mother. I can give my children everything I never had.” She took a step toward me, her chin jutting in the air as she glared at me. “I don’t want you to be the father of my children, Stone. I don’t want you to be husband.”

  I clenched my jaw. “If you were trying to rip my heart out, you succeeded. Do you feel better now?”

  “No, Stone. I don’t. I’ve spent the last five years of my life dreaming about a future with you, dreaming about one of those great love stories that knows no boundaries, dreaming about our children, and in one moment, you took all of that away from me.”

  She couldn’t hide the quiver in her chin. To know that she was hurting because she thought I didn’t want her made me feel like shit.

  “Dara, I need to talk to you.” Hell, I still didn’t even know how to broach the subject.

  She held her palm up again. “Whatever you’re gonna say doesn’t matter. I don’t want you.”

  I captured each of her arms in my grasp. “You’ve never been a good liar, Dara.” Her eyes glistened with pooling tears. She was so soft-hearted that she could never hide her emotions.

  Her lashes fanned over her cheeks as she closed her eyelids and her tears escaped.

  I pulled her into my arms, my cheek resting against the top of her head, and she clung to me, her body shaking as she sobbed.

  I held her close, relishing the feel of her in my arms. But in the back of my mind, I knew that even though I might have the power to ease this pain, the truth was still going to hurt her.

  Whispering soothing words to her, I smoothed my palm along her silken tresses.

  While still clinging to me, I heard her whisper, “Just leave, Stone. I can’t bear to hear you tell me that you don’t want to marry me.”