Enduring Everything (Marked Heart #1)

by M. Sembera

  Looking over my shoulder at Jackson laying in my bed, I said, "Good."

  "So, what did you do after the wedding?" she asked with a hint of anticipation in her voice.

  Remembering she knew Jacks was going to propose and didn't warn me, I answered, "I rode with your dad to the airport, went to the reception and then came home. Why?"

  There was a long pause before she answered, "Oh, okay."

  Trying not to give anything away, I asked, "Was there something I was supposed to be doing?"

  Waiting for her to answer, I felt Jackson's arms slide around my waist. Looking down, I watched him glance up and smile.

  The cheer in her voice had noticeably lessened as she replied, "I thought that maybe..." before we both heard Jacks ask, "Is that Sophia?" and she shouted, "Is that Uncle Jacks?"

  Answering the two of them, I said, "Yes."

  "He did propose," she squealed before I could hear her shouting to Ailin, "He proposed!" Turning her focus back to me, she questioned, "Oh my gosh, is he in bed with you?"

  "Sophia," I snapped, before saying, "Why don't you call back a little later."

  Giggling, Sophia said, "Sure thing mama. Love you."

  "Love you too," I replied before hanging up the phone.

  With a little sigh, I brushed my hand through Jackson's hair smiling at him.

  ~

  Waiting for Jackson to get out of the shower, I wanted to have a serious talk with him about setting a more realistic wedding date. I wanted to talk about it last night when he got back from picking up some clothes from his apartment but just like last night, the moment he walked into the kitchen, I decided it could wait. Walking up to me he smiled wide before sliding his hands in the back of my hair and kissing me good morning. Our kiss was interrupted by a knock at my front door. Glancing around Jackson to see what time it was, I couldn't believe it was already a little after one.

  Panicking, I said, "Oh my gosh you have to hide, that's your mom!"

  Leaning against my counter, he gave me a 'you can't be serious look' as he said, "So?"

  "We were supposed to go shopping today and I don't want her to know you stayed the night," I stressed.

  Laughing at me now, Jackson shared, "Well, unless you can make my car disappear from your driveway, I don't think hiding is gonna do much good."

  With a heavy sigh and a great deal of embarrassment, I walked out of the kitchen through the living room and to my front door.

  Glancing back at Jackson, dressed in his undershirt and basketball shorts, I shook my head and took a deep breath.

  Opening the door, I greeted, "Hi, sorry I'm not quite ready."

  "That's okay honey, did you still want to go into town?" she asked as I let her in.

  Before I could respond, Jackson stepped in from the kitchen, saying, "Hey mom."

  Giving him a motherly smile and head shake, Mrs. Thomas looked at me and asked, "Did you want to go another day?"

  "Umm," was all I got out before Jackson interrupted me, offering, "You should go, I need to pick up some more stuff from my apartment anyway."

  Wishing he hadn't said that in front of her, I nodded at him.

  Mrs. Thomas raised her eyebrows at us questioning, "Y'all are going to live together?"

  As I shook my head at her, Jacks replied, "Just until next Saturday."

  "What's next Saturday?" she asked.

  Growing more uncomfortable with the subject, I gave a weak smile as Jacks put his arm around me saying, "We are getting married."

  Mrs. Thomas looked like she wanted to smack him as she fussed, "How do you expect us to pull a wedding together that fast?"

  Jackson and his mom looked at me like I had just committed a crime as I shared, "I don't want a wedding." Seeing their reactions, I tried to save myself by saying, "I want to be married but it doesn't have to be a big thing."

  "Well, we did just have a huge wedding so maybe something simple at the house would be okay," Mrs. Thomas agreed.

  Waiting for Jackson to give his opinion, I wondered why saying I wanted to be married made my insides twist. I said 'yes' and I meant it at the time. I wanted to be with Jacks. Why couldn't we just be together? And why didn't I take the opportunity to side with Mrs. Thomas and buy myself some time?

  Jacks gave me a little squeeze, saying, "Let me change and then I'll be out of your hair," before walking out of the room.

  Mrs. Thomas offered, "Why don't we skip shopping today and work out some details."

  Nodding at her, I whispered, "I'm sorry Jacks kinda sprung this on you like that."

  Giving me an 'I know better' look, she replied, "It's such a nice day. Let's go out back and talk."

  Nodding again, I started to worry.

  Mrs. Thomas was always sweet but she was also incredibly honest when it came to Jackson and I. Making our way to the back patio, I wondered how honest I should be with her.

  Taking a seat on my outdoor sofa, Mrs. Thomas asked, "What happened to your chaise lounge?"

  Clearing my throat, I tried now to think about how Jackson and I broke it as I replied, "It was never very sturdy and it finally fell apart."

  "What a shame, it was so pretty," she remarked before saying, "Saturday seems awfully fast."

  In complete and total agreement with her, I said, "It is but Jacks is really excited."

  "Are you?" she asked.

  Taking a moment to think, I replied, "I want to be with him."

  "I know honey, but..." she started before we saw Jackson step outside.

  He walked towards me glancing at the broken chaise lounge.

  Smiling wide, he shared, "I'll be back," before leaning down and giving me a quick kiss.

  After telling his mom goodbye, Jackson walked back into the house. For whatever reason I felt awkward sitting there with Mrs. Thomas. Her once strawberry blond hair, that was kept in a long pony tail was now shoulder length and almost completely white. Her green eyes were just as bright and endearing as the day Jackson brought me home to meet her. She became the closest thing to a real mother I had ever had. My mother never spoke to me the way she did. My mother never asked how I was or gave advice. All she ever did was side with my father. Mrs. Thomas was the standard I had set for myself with my own daughter. She was loving, kind, honest and known to speak her mind when the situation called for it.

  Trying to ease the uncomfortable feeling, I asked, "Do you think we are moving too fast?"

  A smile formed on her face as she replied, "Lord knows y'all have waited long enough but yes, I am concerned that you are moving too fast," pausing to give me a soft caring smile, she continued saying, "Maybe y'all should wait a while. I don't like the idea of y'all living together, no matter how old y'all are but the thought of either of you being hurt because you're rushing... If you aren't ready, you should tell him."

  Nodding at her, I took a deep breath before sharing, "I haven't had time to really think about anything."

  Smiling at me, Mrs. Thomas offered, "Well, why don't I head home and give you some time to yourself. I need to see what JP is up to anyway. That man doesn't know what to do with himself now that he's retired."

  Laughing a little, I hugged her before walking her out.

  The moment I was alone, my mind went into overdrive. Contemplating from are we going to drive to work together Monday all the way to Jackson and Ailin are cousins and if we get married what kind of back woods family will we be with my daughter and I's husbands being related. My thoughts turned to a more serious matter as I recalled the other relationships I had been in. I couldn't blame everything that happened on someone else. I was responsible too for the things that went on. Throughout the years, Jackson only had a taste of the crazy that was me. Dysfunction is bearable in small doses but marriage meant twenty four hours a day. What if I couldn't find a balance with him? By the time Jackson made it back I was a nervous wreck.

  Jackson brought a bigger bag with him this time and hangers with slacks and suit jackets hanging from them. I pointed him to t
he extra room that had been a playroom when Sophia was little, now mostly used for storage.

  "I thought maybe we could share a room," Jackson teased as he looked around.

  Barely cracking a smile, I asked, "Are you trying to hurry up and marry me so I don't change my mind?"

  Stopping in the middle of hanging up his clothes, Jackson turned to me and assured, "No, I'm excited to be married to you."

  Without being able to help it, I blurted, "Why?"

  "Because I love you," he answered before continuing to hang up his clothes.

  Standing there I watched him, waiting for him to finish.

  I wondered if he was moving slower in order to give himself time to think. When he placed his last hanger in the closet, he looked down at his bag.

  "Should I leave it packed?" he asked without looking at me.

  Deciding to just get it over with, I blurted, "Jacks, I'm not ready."

  The disappointment was very clear in his eyes as he argued, "But you said yes."

  Stepping closer, I swore, "And I meant it, just not for Saturday."

  Looking me over, he settled his focus on my eyes before saying, "I guess I was getting a little carried away."

  "Jacks, I love you. I want to be with you, I just need some time to get used to the idea of getting married."

  Appearing serious but understanding, he shared, "It won't be like that with me."

  Doing my best to believe him, I said, "I know but marriage changes things and I like us the way we are."

  With a curious smile, he asked, "Is it still okay if I stay the night?"

  "I want you to stay every night," I assured, reaching out to pull him close.

  "Are we going to live together then?" he questioned.

  Quickly realizing living together wasn't enough for either of us, I shook my head.

  At this point, I was basically at war with myself. Everything happened so fast, I needed time to adjust. I had created a life for myself that was simple and routine. The most exciting thing that had happened to me since the night before last was when my new washer and dryer were delivered. I loved Jackson, waking up with him in the morning was the best and so was everything else that came with being with him. He would expect a real marriage, I didn't know if I could be the wife he wanted.

  As we stood there facing each other, I didn't know what he was going to do. I knew what he wanted. I wanted the same thing, just in a different way.

  "I need something to show me this is gonna happen for us Ren," Jackson said, with a look that made me want to curl up and die for hurting him.

  Taking a moment to think and will my fear away, I took a deep breath and replied, "I don't want us to just live together."

  Appearing as though he wanted to be happy but wasn't quite sure if he should, Jacks asked, "What about needing time?"

  Shaking off my personal issues for a moment, I smiled, saying, "If you promise not to spring anything else on me, I'm okay with Saturday."

  A wide smile spread across his face as he assured, "This is me and you. If you get nervous or have a problem we can always work it out."

  Sliding my arms around his waist, I rested my head against his chest. Feeling him hug me back, I decided that if setting a date for our wedding was our biggest problem I could do this.

  5

  Monday Morning Announcements

  Waking up at seven, felt like two in the morning after the night Jackson and I had. At some point we were going to have to, either start earlier or limit ourselves to once per night on weeknights. Looking forward to going to work, I loved my job at JPT Financial from the first day I started there as Mr. Thomas' secretary. Even though Jackson was now my boss, the work days always ran the same. It was comfortable, routine and it would be like every other Monday, giving me a sense of calm knowing that part of my life wasn't changing.

  Dressed in my usual Monday attire, cream colored slacks, a powder blue silk blouse and open toed heels, I pulled my long brown hair into a neat twist in the back and waited for Jackson to kiss me good morning.

  Stepping into my room after taking his shower, in only his boxers, carrying his suit still on the hanger, Jackson asked, "How do you feel about taking next week off?"

  "That depends on why you're giving me the week off. Am I in trouble?" I replied with a smile.

  With a slight laugh, Jackson said, "No silly, I want to take you on a honeymoon."

  Suddenly excited, I asked, "Really? Where?"

  "It's a surprise but I thought we could fly out Saturday evening," he answered.

  Thrilled, I had never been farther than a few towns over and we were flying somewhere.

  I bounced up and down a little, clapping my hands together saying, "I have to go shopping. Are we going somewhere warm or cold?"

  Shaking his head as he laughed at me, Jacks said, "I should have offered a trip before I proposed. And if you keep bouncing like that we are going to be late for work."

  Stopping for a moment to look at him, I blushed before saying, "Oh, sorry. I'm just so excited."

  "It will be cooler where we're going but not cold and we will be gone for five days," he shared with a wink before laying his clothes across the bed.

  ~

  When we arrived at work, it was the same as always except for the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about going on our trip or my good morning kiss. Jackson was happy and I was so excited, we almost didn't make it out of the house. All of the employees were seated at their desks and working on various accounts. Getting settled at my desk, I straightened papers and glanced over my calendar. I heard a light buzz before picking up the phone on my desk.

  "Yes," I answered.

  I could hear the smile in his voice as Jackson requested, "Can you bring me the quarterly reports?"

  "Aren't they already in your office?" I asked.

  "I believe so," he replied.

  After pausing for a minute, I said, "Just a moment."

  Rolling my eyes as I stood, I wondered what Jackson was up to.

  Opening the door to Jackson's office, I stepped in.

  "Close it, please," he said.

  "You couldn't have gotten it yourself?" I questioned, walking directly towards the filing cabinets.

  Smiling wide, Jackson shook his head at me.

  I opened the file cabinet, pulled the print out, walked back to his desk and said, "Here you go Mr. Thomas," as I set it on his desk.

  "Thank you. Can you hand me a pen?" he asked.

  Glancing at the corner of his desk, I reached over and pulled a pen out of the holder before handing it to him.

  "Can you hand me a different one?" he asked.

  With sarcastic little smile, I picked up the pen holder and set it right in front of him.

  "And that packet there," he added, pointing to the opposite corner of his desk.

  Grabbing the packet, I held it out to him, asking, "Is there anything else?"

  "As a matter of fact, I just need one more thing," he said.

  Placing my hand on my hip, I raised an eyebrow at him.

  "Can I have a kiss?" he asked

  Smiling, I gave a light sigh, "Just a little one."

  Nodding at me, Jackson leaned forward as I bent down and kissed him.

  What started out as a respectable display of affection rapidly deepened until I whispered, "Jacks, we're at work."

  "I can't help it. Do you know how many times I've sat in here thinking about you sitting right outside my office?" he whispered back.

  Gently placing another kiss on his lips, I replied, "Maybe later."

  With a heavy sigh and a pouty expression, Jackson let me go back to my desk.

  As soon as I sat down at my desk, my phone started ringing. After transferring a few calls and scheduling appointments, I had a short break before the phone rang again.

  This time a cheerful 'hey girl' made me smile as I chirped, "Hi Mr. Thomas. Do you want me to put you through to Jacks?"

  "I wanted to congratulate you first," he replied
.

  Smiling into the phone, I laughed, "Guess I am going to be an official member of the family now."

  "I'm happy for you two," he assured before saying, "If he's not too busy you can put me through."

  After I transferred the call, I leaned back in my chair thinking.

  Jackson was everything my heart desired. His family was already like my family so what was I worried about? I wanted a relationship like the Thomas' had and it was now believable that I could. Making a mental note to remind myself, the past was in the past and Jackson was the present and my future, if I started to panic.

  When my phone rang, again, I quickly answered.

  "JPT Financial, Mr. Thomas is..." was all I was able to say before Amila Roberts' voice came through saying, "Ren, can you meet me for lunch today?"

  "Oh, sorry. I have plans for lunch," I replied.

  Her voice was troubled as she asked, "Is there any way you can change your plans? Ren, I really need to talk to you."

  Feeling bad that I couldn't, I explained, "I would but Jacks and I...We are going to get our marriage license."

  "No way!" she blurted before congratulating, "That's wonderful Ren. I am so happy for you and Jackson."

  Smiling, I said, "Thank you, we are actually going to do it Saturday. Nothing big, it's really just a formality," before I laughed, "He insists on making an honest woman out of me."

  After laughing at me she asked, "Do you think y'all could make it over for dinner tonight then?"

  "Sounds like a plan," I assured before saying, "Let me let you go, we are about to have our Monday morning meeting."

  There was cheer in her voice as she replied, "Okay, see you tonight."

  Hanging up the phone, I grabbed my note pad and a pen before pushing away from my desk.

  Making my way to the meeting room, I walked slow, waiting for Jackson to catch up. I watched as the accountants sat in chairs waiting for Jacks to get started.

  When Jackson made it to my side, I stopped him outside the meeting room and shared, "Amila asked us to dinner at their house," in a low voice.

  "Can we stop at home first?" he asked.

  Finding it hard not to smile when he referred to my house as home, I answered, "Sure."