The Middle Finger of Fate (A Trailer Park Princess Cozy Mystery Book 1)

by Kim Hunt Harris

  “Giving her the creeps? How?”

  “She didn’t say. Just that he was giving her the creeps and she wanted to know if I would switch with her.”

  “No more information than that? And this guy, he didn’t give you the creeps?”

  “I didn’t even know who she was talking about.”

  “She’d never said anything to you about this guy before?”

  She shook her head. “Not really, no. We talked sometimes, you know, about getting freaked out when we were working by ourselves. Those big buildings, deserted and dark, you know. You start to think you hear things, sometimes. I was glad to switch with her, because that church has always given me the heebie-jeebie, especially down in the basement. All those big metal doors, and who knows what’s behind them. Those creaky old elevators and spooky dark hallways and stuff.” She shivered and rubbed her hands over her arms. “I think something in me knew something bad was going to happen there.”

  Viv patted her arm. “You’re very empathetic, dear. Very sensitive. I wonder if there’s any other…vibes you’ve picked up on that might – on the surface – seem to be unrelated, but that might actually be connected to Lucinda’s case.”

  Stephanie chewed her lip. “Well, I don’t really know of anything. I mean, I guess I had a few feelings here and there.”

  Viv nodded slowly, encouraging. “I’ll bet you did.”

  “Like, I think Tony liked Lucinda but I don’t think she was so much into him.”

  “Did you tell the detective that?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “I told him they’d been seeing each other, but not that part. I didn’t really think about that until later, you know, when I was kind of going back over things in my mind.”

  “So what makes you think she didn’t like him as much? Just a hunch?”

  “Yeah, you know, he’d always single her out, be real attentive to her. Not in an obvious way, but he’d always check on her and make sure she was feeling okay, she had what she needed to get her job done, stuff like that. I mean, he’s that way with everyone, but he’d single her out special, you know? At first I thought it was just because she was new, and then I found out she was pregnant, and I thought it was just because she was pregnant, but the way he’d look at her…” She trailed off and cocked her head. “You know how a guy looks at a girl and you know it’s the real thing, not just an ordinary look. You know?”

  Viv nodded happily. “I do.”

  “Sure,” I said, although I couldn’t say that I’d ever been on the receiving end of one of those looks. I thought I’d been, a couple of times, but it turned out to be too much alcohol on either his part or mine, or both. “And you’re sure she didn’t return the feelings?”

  “I know she liked him okay. I mean, she wasn’t pushing him away or anything. She talked a lot about how nice he was to her and what a great person he was, how successful and dependable. But it was always like, “Oh, he’s so much nicer to me than Rey ever was.” And “Oh, if Rey could see the way Tony treats me, he’d be furious. Rey would be eating his heart out if he could see how much money Tony makes.” Stuff like that.”

  “So Rey was still on her mind a lot.”

  Stephanie nodded sadly. “I think so. She said she hated him, but I think a big part of her loved him still, too.”

  “That always sucks,” Viv said.

  “Tell me about it.”

  What all this had to do with the murder, I didn’t know. It didn’t look good for Tony that he loved Lucinda more than she loved him. It only bolstered Bobby’s theory that Tony killed her in a jealous rage. If he loved her, and she was still in love with Rey, who knew what could happen?

  It was getting late and I was suddenly very tired. My head was starting to hurt, and I became aware that the rest of me did, too. The meds must have been wearing off.

  “I’m sorry, but I think I’m going to have to get some rest. Can you think of anything else?”

  Stephanie chewed her lip and shivered a little. “I don’t know, I just…” She looked from me to Viv.

  “What is it?”

  She shrugged. “It’s nothing really, it’s just…well, you yourself said I can be sensitive to stuff, and I keep having this feeling that…” She rubbed her arms again. “When this first happened, I didn’t think there was any way Tony could have done it. But the more I think about it…”

  “Are you serious? You really think he did it?” Maybe I was getting a little shrieky because the possibility was starting to sink in on me, too, and I didn’t want it to. “Then why are you still working for the man?”

  “Because I need the job. And because he’s not in love with me, he’s not jealous of me.” She shrugged. “I don’t think I have anything to worry about, so…”

  “Well, he didn’t do it, so you’re perfectly safe. From him, at least.” I gave her a menacing look but it was completely lost on her. “In fact, I’m spending the night in his house and I’m not a bit worried.”

  “Well, of course you’re not,” Viv said. “He’s not in love with you, either.”

  “Let’s just go.” I stomped to the car then remembered that I might need Stephanie’s help again later if I had more questions. “Thanks for your help,” I said. “Sorry if I seem a little…grumpy. I’m just tired and worried about Tony.”

  She nodded and waved. “No problem. I understand. Lucinda was like that, too.”

  I watched her close the door behind her and leaned back in the seat while Viv drove me back to Tony’s. I mulled over what Stephanie had told us. Lucinda was the one who switched the schedules around. I wonder if they were supposed to clear that with Tony. I wonder if she had something else up her sleeve. But what? Why would she have wanted to go to the church that night? What could she have been up to?

  And what did Stephanie mean, Lucinda was like that? Worried about Tony? Tired, grumpy? Or just moody?

  I turned in my seat and laid my cheek on the back of the seat. “This detective stuff is hard.”

  “Tell me about it. But it’ll get easier as we get more experience.”

  There she went again. “Viv, we’re not going to be getting more experience.”

  “Sure we will. You said so yourself.”

  “When?”

  “At Tony’s house you said we’d have to learn to be more observant if we’re going to make a living at this.”

  “I was joking.”

  “No you weren’t. Maybe you thought you were joking, but your heart knew this is what you really want and that’s why you said it. It’s a whole Freudian thing.”

  “My heart doesn’t really want to be a detective.”

  “Sure it does. Just think about it. If we could do this kind of thing every day. Go around talking to people, asking nosy questions, making sure good triumphs over evil.”

  Actually, it did seem kind of fun. “There’s only one problem I can see.”

  “What’s that?”

  “We suck at it.”

  “I told you, we’ll get better.” She swooped her car down Indiana Avenue. “Do you think she was trying to make him jealous?”

  “Who? What?”

  “Do you think Lucinda was using Tony’s affection to make Rey jealous?”

  I shrugged and leaned my head back down. I was really tired. “I kind of figured she was using him as a security net since Rey hadn’t worked out.”

  “Either way, she was using him.”

  “I think so. Which doesn’t make her look so nice.” I yawned and shifted in my seat. “I keep wondering why Lucinda would want to switch with Stephanie that night. Stephanie said Lucinda told her someone at her regular job was giving her the creeps. But if that was the case, wouldn’t she ask a guy to switch with her? Not another girl who looked so much like her?”

  “It sounds like one of them wasn’t telling the truth. And I don’t know about you, but Stephanie doesn’t sound like the manipulative type to me.”

  I shook my head. “She’s too naïve. Do you think Lucinda c
ould have been setting up a meeting at the church? With Rey, or whoever? If there are lots of places to hide…”

  “Beats me, I’m fresh out of ideas at the moment. I’m going home to do some more Columbo research. When Tony gets home pick his brain. Find out why he was up at the church that night and whether or not Lucinda told him she was going to switch with Stephanie.”

  “Will do.” I couldn’t decide how the notion of talking to Tony made me feel. On the one hand, I couldn’t deny the niggling doubt that was creeping up that maybe, perhaps, he just might be guilty. On the other hand, I was really afraid to be alone at the moment. So, hopefully, if he was a killer, he’d gotten it out of his system with Lucinda.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Tony was home. I lugged Stump in her box up to the door and knocked.

  He looked like he’d been waiting for me. He wore baggy gray sweatpants and a t-shirt. He looked tired. I felt bad because apparently I’d kept him up.

  “I’m sorry,” I said as soon as I came through the door. “Viv and I thought we’d go talk to Stephanie for a while.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Is she okay?”

  “Sure, she’s fine.” I carried Stump into the den and set the box on the floor. “I think I scared ten years off her life, but she was fine when I left there.”

  He stared at me a second.

  “She’s fine, really. She wasn’t expecting anyone to come up there and she’s on edge because of everything that’s happened, so…” I shrugged. “But she was back to work when we left there.” Maybe I would leave out the part about the police coming.

  Tony nodded and reached over to scratch Stump’s ears. Stump moaned and shifted under his hand, so he dug in a little more and cruised his hand down her neck – or where her neck would be if she had one – and down her shoulders.

  Stump looked worshipfully up at him and tried to thump her leg. Doing so made her lose her balance, and she rolled back up like a Weebil and licked his hand.

  See, the thing was, Stump was a really good judge of character. She was a better one than I was, as a matter of fact. She knew who she could trust. She liked Les and Frank, and she was a little more reserved around Viv. But she always growled at the man who came to read the gas meter, and he was a creep who gave me lascivious looks every time I saw him. One time a few months ago she flat-out hated this new girl who moved into Trailertopia. I thought the girl was really cool, and I got all excited about making a new friend, until one day she stole the money I’d left in the sugar bowl on my kitchen cabinet. That was how I ended up losing my phone and having to go completely cellular.

  Right now Stump was looking up at Tony like he was the answer to every prayer she’d ever prayed. That evidence probably wouldn’t convince Bobby, but it went a long way with me.

  We moved back to the kitchen, and I set Stump’s box on the floor at my feet. If I were home, the box would have gone back onto the banquette table, but I had the strangest feeling that Josephine Solis would somehow, some way with that hairy eyeball of hers, find out.

  “I guess I should tell you I scared Stephanie so bad she called the police.”

  “You…what?”

  “She was wearing headphones and didn’t hear me come up.” Even while spilling my guts I wasn’t going to tell the part about me sneaking up on her. I would confess that to God and God alone. “She saw me out of the corner of her eye, and she thought I was an intruder –” Yep, I left out the part about her saying I was a hulking man, too – “and she called the police. They were there in like thirty seconds. They’re keeping a close eye on her.”

  His jaw twitched, but as always his face remained totally in control, totally neutral. “Well, that’s good to know.”

  “I swear she was okay. She was just on edge, and I scared her so she called the police. They did their job very well.”

  He nodded. “Okay, fine.”

  “You’ll be calling to check on her later, won’t you?”

  “Within the next five minutes. I was going to pretend to go to the bathroom.”

  “But since I’ve already figured it out…” I tilted my head toward the phone on the kitchen counter.

  He kept the call quick. I smiled when he hung up. “Feel better?”

  “About that, yes.” He laughed. “You’ve always been…interesting to have around.”

  I scooted back and got comfortable in the corner of the banquette. I really liked that thing. It was stylish and functional. I liked saying the word, even just to myself in my head – banquette banquette banquette.

  I felt a little woozy, I realized. Maybe I needed to lie back down for a while, but I didn’t. Instead I smiled at Tony. “You’re so polite. ‘Interesting’ is a better word than irritating, or pain-in-the-butt, or just plain horrible.”

  “You were never horrible.”

  I looked at him for a moment. “Of course I was. The whole thing was horrible. You did your very best to make it work, while I did everything I could think of to make it not work. It’s okay, Tony. I’ve learned that being dishonest with myself just gets me more of what I don’t want.”

  I remembered what Les kept telling me about being a new creature in Christ. He said that when I was born again, I was literally a new person. Sometimes I didn’t feel like a new person; actually, most times I felt like the same old screw-up I’d always been. Les insisted it didn’t matter how I felt; the Bible said I was a new creature and so it was a fact. I wanted to believe that. I really wanted to.

  “I’m a Christian now,” I said. I felt a little goofy saying that. Okay, a lot goofy. I was cool, I’d always been cool and the kind of person who would laugh right in the face of someone who said, “I’m a Christian now.” Of course, I would be a Christian now. That’s what people do when they’ve screwed up too hugely to fix things themselves.

  Except with Tony, it felt safe to say. I knew he would be happy for me.

  He was. His face lit up and he reached over and squeezed my knee. “I knew there was something different about you!”

  “Oh, that’s just the forty pounds I’ve gained.”

  He laughed and stood up to hug me. “No, it’s not. It’s you. You’re different.”

  “Well, I’m sober too. I haven’t had a drink in a hundred and fifty-two days.”

  “Outstanding. A miracle.” He wasn’t trying to be funny, either. He squeezed my shoulders and sat back down.

  “Yeah, well…” I shrugged. I thought about making some smart remark like, “Well, it’s no Virgin-Mary’s-face-on-a-piece-of-toast, but…”, but that would be crass, so I only thought about it. “That’s really the only explanation for it, isn’t it? It’s a miracle.”

  Tony leaned forward and cocked his head. “What is it?”

  I shrugged again. “It’s nothing.”

  He raised a brow. “You know, you’ve never been as good a liar as you thought you were.”

  I sighed. “It’s just…I don’t know. You’re a Christian. Do you ever feel like…” I wrinkled my nose. “I don’t know how else to say it. Do you ever feel like you might have been sold a bill of goods?”

  He had the nerve to laugh. I’d opened up about one of my deepest concerns and he laughed. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean about this whole new birth, new life, everything’s coming up roses stuff.”

  He clicked his tongue. “Well, I’m Catholic. The coming up roses part is probably for Protestants.”

  I rubbed the bruises on my throat. “I just really thought things were going to be…different. Better. Like people wouldn’t break into my house, and I wouldn’t have to drive a pickle-mobile.”

  He blinked, but didn’t ask.

  “Les told me that when the Holy Spirit would come into my heart and would transform it. I would be made new, and I’d be filled with joy, and I’d always have the – the –” I mimicked Les’ booming voice, “The Great Comforter with me, whatever the heck that means. Where was this Great Comforter when the guy was sitting on my stomach shoving my
head into the wall? Where’s the Great Comforter when I’m feeling like a complete screw-up who’s never going to get it right? I mean sometimes, Tony, I have to tell you, I feel like one of those poor salmon swimming upstream, except at least the salmon actually get somewhere for all their trouble. I keep leaping out of the water over and over again and flopping around for all I’m worth, but I’m at the same stupid spot in the same stupid river – and no matter how hard I work I’m always going to end up right there. I thought it wasn’t going to be like this anymore when I was born again. I didn’t want to get born again as the same person.” I took a deep breath because I was beginning to see spots. “Sorry. I hadn’t meant to say all that. I’m really kind of woozy from the pain meds.”

  “What did you think it was going to be like?” He leaned forward in his chair, his brown eyes intense on mine.

  “Just better.”

  “Better than what? Better than it was, or better than this?”

  “Both. I mean, I think I had realistic expectations. I didn’t think everything would actually be coming up roses all the time. I can see that life is still life and bad things still happen sometimes. But I thought more good stuff would happen, and I thought, even when it didn’t, I’d have…” How could I explain it? “I wouldn’t feel so alone all the time. I’d feel like I had someone in my corner, someone on my team, and even if things sucked every once in a while, it wouldn’t be so bad because I wouldn’t be alone while things were sucking. And even if I didn’t have, like, you know, the great love of my life, I would have love in my life. And that would make all the rest of it bearable.” I made a face. “I don’t think I’m explaining it very well.”

  “I think you’re explaining it very well.”

  “Les promised me in that jail cell that the spirit of the living God would be alive inside me and that I would actually be able to feel a difference.”

  “And when was this?”

  I didn’t really want to talk about that part, even if this was Tony, who had seen the very worst of me and still wasn’t totally repelled, but there was no going back now, and he probably already knew the statistics even if he didn’t know the details.