No Regrets (No Regrets #1)

by Heather Allen

  I shake my head at his admission. I never knew where Meyer had gone off to that night. No one ever told me and I was so angry back then I didn’t care.

  Meyer continues, “So I came to try and make things up to you. If it hadn’t been for me, you would have gone pro a long time ago. You wouldn’t have had to do it all over again.”

  My head sinks into my hands. I’ve been so angry at Meyer for such a long time. It seems to seep away in that moment. My friend, who I’ve known my whole life, is still the same person. The same person I spent so much time with over the years. I look up at his tormented face. “Meyer, it’s done. You can’t blame yourself because it’ll eat away at you. Let it go, buddy. I’ve made it up for both of us. Neither one of us was right that night and mistakes happen.”

  As the words leave my lips I acknowledge that most of what I am telling Meyer is what Jackson has been trying to tell me now for six months. I can’t go on if I can’t let go of the past. This right here, with Meyer, is the first step for both of us in that process. Silently I tell myself, no regrets.

  I lift out of my chair and step toward Meyer. My hand darts out, palm up. Meyer grasps it as he stands. I pull him into a shoulder hug. As we distance ourselves I tell him, “Let me get some clothes on and we’ll go find Mollie.”

  We drive to the hotel first as Meyer reasons that she isn’t familiar with New Brunswick but I have other thoughts about where she is. I ask, “Meyer, the other day, after you came back to town. Mollie found me at Mill Creek Pond. Any idea how she knew I would be there?”

  Meyer looks miserable all over again.

  “Dude, I wasn’t sure if you were going to hate me forever. I thought me being here would either piss you off to the point of uncaring whether I came or went or you’d be pissed enough to revisit old memories.”

  “Dammit, Meyer, and you thought that would be a good idea the day of a decision fight? Aren’t we too old for these fucking games? I don’t know whether to hit you again or hug you for coming back.”

  “Sorry, Grey, I guess I’ve messed up a lot.”

  I shake my head as we pull up to the hotel. I’m glad Meyer was willing to open up.

  “You go up and see if she’s there. I’m going to check the pond. Call me if she’s here.”

  We part, and as I pull away I wonder what kind of game Meyer is playing. Him being here with Red…why is Mollie here? I want to find her more than anything now to answer these questions that keep popping up. The first being, why did she leave my bed?

  As the truck aims in the direction of the pond, my phone rings. I hit the button without looking at the screen and my sister’s voice, full of pain, fills my ears. “Grey, Where are you? I need you, Grey.” She’s sobbing.

  Worried, I ask, “Trinity, are you okay? What happened?” I take a deep breath, my heart beats faster. “I’m on my way.”

  Chapter 21

  As I near my sister’s house, thoughts of Red’s beautiful face passes through my head but I force them away. Meyer will find her. I drive way too fast, shortening the twenty minute drive to fourteen. I slide out of the truck, barely slamming the door as my feet rush up the walk to the front door. It swings open before I can think to knock. A distraught Trinity stands in the doorway. Her cheeks are stained with trails from her tears. Her face is red and she’s shaking. I pull her into my arms, hugging her tight to my chest. I think about Parker and how much I really hate him now. I’m sure he did this to her and the first chance I get I’ll mop the road with the prick.

  Trinity starts crying all over again as I lead her into the house toward the living room. As we sink to the couch, she squeezes an already soaked tissue in her hand. I move her body beside mine and ask, “Trin, is Parker here?”

  This seems to create more conflict as she frowns and breaks into a blubbering mess. What the fuck? My voice softens. “I need to know. Is he here?”

  She shakes her head. I’m glad because beating his ass in front of her probably wouldn’t help anything. I tell her, “Let me go and get you more tissue.”

  Her breathing is starting to slow as she nods. I walk to the downstairs bathroom and grab the whole box. As I cross back to the couch, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to see a text from Meyer explaining that Mollie was at the hotel. This has the opposite effect on me than it should. I’m glad that she’s safe but sorry I was wrong about where she was. Maybe she is with Meyer and I overstepped with her. She went back to him and didn’t stay with me.

  Nearing the couch, loud sniffling pushes Mollie from my thoughts. I situate myself back into the cushions, offering Trinity the box of tissues. She carefully takes one and begins wiping her face. I wait a few minutes while she gets her emotions under control. As her sniffles begin to even out and more time passes, I decide to try and find out why she was so upset.

  Grabbing her free hand, I squeeze and ask, “Trin, do you think you can tell me what happened?”

  Panic passes over her features. I wait with an encouraging expression. The thought that this guy could cause this much pain in her makes me irate. I knew the asshole was bad news the minute I saw him.

  “Grey, it’s nothing. I think I just blew things out of proportion.”

  “What?” I can’t believe what I’m hearing. My breathing halts for a few seconds as her words register.

  Slowly I plead, “No, Trinity, you were really upset. I need to know why.”

  She shakes her head. “It was really nothing. I’m so sorry I called you.”

  I know she isn’t going to tell me anything. I’m going to have to find out from the douche himself. Abruptly I stand, looking down at her innocent face. How can anyone hurt my sister? I want blood and I want it now.

  “Trinity, I have to go. Will you be all right?”

  She nods, fear filling her expression. “Don’t do anything to Parker. Please, Grey.”

  I look away and she grabs my hand before I can leave.

  “Promise you won’t hurt him. I told you it was nothing. It was my fault.”

  My gaze swings back to look at her incredulously. “What was your fault?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Tell me Trin or I will go and beat the crap out of him.”

  “He’s going to Vegas, for good, Greylan, and I don’t want to go. I told him that I won’t go. He was upset and he told me that he couldn’t marry me then because this is what he does. He’s tired of flying back and forth. He wants us to move there. But I don’t want to go. I’d miss you; I just got you back, well kind of. Grey, I wish we could see each other more. Maybe this is best. You hate him, anyway. Maybe I shouldn’t marry him.”

  Realization hits me, as she utters the words that implicate me as a reason that could cost her happiness. All because I can’t get past my dislike for the guy.

  I lower to the edge of the couch and explain, “Trinity, you can’t give it all up. This is a silly reason. You’ll work it out.”

  “No, Grey, I don’t think we will.” She starts blubbering again. It amazes me how she can turn the waterworks on and off like that.

  “Calm down, Trinity, Vegas is where the fights are. Remember, I told you that this life is hard?”

  She nods.

  “I told you that I would never choose for you to marry a fighter. Remember?”

  “Yes.”

  “This is why. We move around and have to deal with all kinds of people. It’s tough, Trinity.”

  Her face goes slack for a moment and then it’s as if clarity reaches her thoughts. She whines, “Are you going, too?”

  Fuck. I was hoping my relocation wouldn’t come into this conversation. I nod. She starts gasping again, flushing to get air into her lungs. Where the hell is that pussy, anyway? Maybe it will be in my best interest to beat Parker’s ass anyway.

  We sit like this, the conversation continuing as I answer her questions about Vegas and the fights. As darkness envelopes the house, I stand to turn on the lights and stretch my muscles. My body yearns to go and punch something but
I know Jackson will have closed the gym by the time I’m finished here. Just as seven o’clock rolls around, the front door opens and closes. At least the idiot didn’t leave her already.

  Parker walks into the room, surprised to see me but focused on Trinity. She leaps off the couch and rushes into his arms. He whispers into her hair, shaking his head, “I’m so sorry.”

  Her voice is shaky again. “I’m sorry too, Parker. I love you so much. I’ll go wherever you want me to go.”

  I can’t listen to another word. I skirt around them and head for the door. Parker calls out, “Greylan.”

  The douche is lucky he didn’t use my nickname. He knows better. As I meet his stare over Trinity’s shoulder, he expresses his gratitude. “Thanks.”

  “No problem.” There’s so much more I want to say but decide it isn’t the time or place. We will meet on the mat at some point and I’ll let him know exactly what I think of him then.

  As I climb into the truck and turn the ignition, two things cross my mind. First, I need to figure out this thing with Mollie. I won’t be able to focus on anything with her floating uncertainly through my thoughts. The second is how furious Juno and Christina are going to be at me if I don’t get over to the bar soon.

  I decide to head straight there. As the truck pulls into a space lining the road out front, I notice a small figure situated on the curb. Her red hair gives her away. She has a forlorn look on her face as I approach. What the hell is it with crying chicks? It’s been a shitty day for confrontations. I consider avoiding this one but I know we need to talk.

  I move to sit next to her and grab her hand. She seems lost in thought even though her stare meets mine. She doesn’t seem very happy to see me. My heart falters and I decide this is the first thing that I won’t add to the list of things I love about her.

  My voice is soft as I admit, “Hey, I missed you this afternoon when I woke up.”

  A slight smile rises in the corner of her mouth and her eyes return to their normal sheen. “Really?” She stares at me as if searching my entire face for something.

  “Yes.” I lean closer to her, the sweet scent that is only Red filling my nostrils.

  “Where did you go?”

  She looks away, lost in thought again.

  “I had to take care of some things.” She stands, quickly looking down at me. Her shoulders roll back and her eyes glance at the bar behind me. She speaks into the air indirectly to me.

  “Greylan, I have to leave. I’m sorry.”

  At her words I’m on my feet, panic running through my body. I can’t believe what she’s telling me. Every part of my body seems to pulse in denial as if I’m having a drug withdrawal. Why in the hell am I having this kind of reaction?

  Silently telling myself to calm the fuck down, I ask, “Why do you need to go?”

  She shakes her head, detaching herself just like that. “Last night was nice but I just can’t stay. Goodbye, Greylan.” As she says the word nice, it sounds like a dirty word that she regrets saying.

  “You don’t really mean that, Mollie. It was so much more than that and you know it.”

  My heart aches with the words I speak. I just found her again and now she’s going to leave me. I reach for her but she turns, moving quickly away in the direction of the hotel. I want more than anything to follow her and demand she tell me why. I start to have doubts. Maybe I read her wrong and I’m the douche bag needing it to mean more than it did. I sink to the curb and lean forward on my knees, pissed for making her mean so much. I’m usually the first person to admit that it doesn’t happen like that. People don’t matter to each other like that. But I know the words running through my mind are just that, words. The way my body responds to her is something I can’t deny and I hate that I let a woman get to me that easily.

  Meyer’s claim on her crosses my thought. ‘She’s here with me.’ Did Meyer convince her to be with him? Maybe I should have admitted what she is to me. But I don’t know what that even means. A woman I can’t stop thinking about and I can’t get enough of now that I’ve had a taste. Fuck!

  When I finally drag myself up off the curb, Christina is just stepping out the door onto the sidewalk. She takes one look at me and asks, concern lacing her words, “Grey, what happened?”

  I can see the panic cross her features. I know her and she’s probably worried because she was the one who pushed me to go after Mollie last night.

  Before I can answer, Juno steps out of the bar and asks, a cigarette clasped between her fingers, “Are we having a party on the street? We aren’t gonna make a dime out here and the customers we’re about to get damn well can’t serve themselves.”

  Christina glares at her aunt and turns back to me, ignoring the reprimand. “Are you all right?”

  I nod, shaking off her hand when she reaches out to console me. I know she feels guilty and I want to let her off the hook but I feel rotten right now. Eventually we’ll hash it out and she’ll know it wasn’t her fault.

  I slip into the building past Juno. Christina tries to follow but Juno grabs her arm, forcing her body around. She glares at her aunt as the older woman takes a drag from her cigarette. She breathes out, squinting through the smoke. “Christina, what’s goin’ on with him?”

  The breath escapes Christina before she answers. “Juno, he’s just having a hard time with stuff. Leave him alone.”

  “Well, girl, he’s earned this thing he has going. He deserves it, so we need to do everything we can to support him. I’m guessing he’ll be crushed if he doesn’t make it. Am I right?”

  Christina glances my way, knowing I can hear their conversation. Instead of answering she just nods in agreement and skirts back into the bar. She stands in the doorway for a minute, watching me move absently behind the counter, stocking up for the night. She loudly apologizes. “Grey, I’m so sorry for pushing you.”

  My eyes dart up, anger running through my face.

  “No, Christina, you don’t get to be sorry for that. Get over that shit. I wouldn’t have gone if I didn’t want to. What happened has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t matter. Fighting does, and that is my focus. So no more talk about that chick, she’s history.”

  Christina nods vigorously. That chick did a number on me. She better stay the hell away or I’ll lose my mind, I think.

  Chapter 22

  Every time the door opens I glance over, hoping Mollie changed her mind. But the night rolls on and she doesn’t make an appearance. As the bar closes, Christina pulls out two glasses and a bottle but I put my hand up, halting her. The last thing I feel like doing is drinking. She swallows two pours before asking, “Are you going to share or are you going to torture me forever?”

  This brings a smile to my lips. Leave it to Christina to try and cheer me up. I shake my head as I finish up behind the bar. “I went after her, stuff happened, and she’s going back home now.”

  Her mouth gapes open. “That’s it? What stuff happened? Did you sleep with her? Why is she leaving? Did it suck that bad? I guess it didn’t suck if you’re so heartbroken over her.”

  I frown at her ramble.

  “What am I going to do with you?”

  “Come on, Grey, at least tell me if you had a good time.”

  “Yeah, it was a good time. It was nice.”

  Her eyebrows quip at the last comment. She winces at my word choice but doesn’t ask. Instead her next question has me wondering as well.

  “Where is her home?”

  I look up from wiping down the counters behind the bar. “I’m not sure.”

  She pours and downs another glass. My eyes narrow at her. “How are you getting home?”

  As if on cue, the door opens and Jonathan walks in. He stares at her back with a wide grin across his face. His accent stresses the words as he asks, “Are you getting drunk again, Christina?”

  She turns, her eyes roving over him.

  “Hey, baby, you wanna drink?”

  I take this as my opportunity to leave. W
hen they start calling each other baby and shit, I’m out. I ask Jonathan, “You got this?” referring to my very buzzed friend and the bar. Jonathan nods, wrapping his arms around her, nuzzling her neck.

  “Yeah, man, I’ll make sure everything is closed up tight and this girl gets home safe.”

  I nod, heading out the door.

  When the chilly air hits my face, I contemplate walking the short distance to the Breaker, just to see, I reason. I don’t even know where she lives and I’ll probably never see her again. Of course if I’m going to work with Meyer, I can probably find out, but my hands long to touch her. The fingers on my hand clench at the thought of never having the chance to see or kiss her again.

  My feet seem to move of their own accord in the direction I last saw her flee. As I near the tall building, doubt forms in my middle. When did I turn into such a fucking pussy, chasing after a chick?

  But still I continue, noticing how immense the lobby is as I approach the counter held up by intricately carved columns doused in white. A wall of etched golden metal lines the space behind the counter. The hotel is fancier than any I’ve ever seen. The woman behind the desk dressed in a crisp blue uniform looks shyly at me while batting her eyelashes. She stutters nervously, “C-can I help you?”

  I sigh. “Yes, I was wondering if you can tell me if a guest is still here.”

  She smiles sweetly but shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I can’t give that information out.”

  I glance to her nametag. “Um, Danielle, I know you have rules and I would never ask if it wasn’t very important.”

  I lean over the counter, closing the distance between us further. “Please, Danielle. I just need to know if Mollie Andrews or Meyer Hansen are still registered.”

  She looks apprehensively back and forth to either side of the counter but no one is listening. Uneasily, she glances down to the computer screen before her fingers hit a few of the keys. When she looks up, I already know the answer by the expression on her face. My heart falls.