No Direction Home (Sweet Home Colorado)

by Jude Willhoff

  Nana turned her head toward Grace. “I love you, child.” She clutched Grace’s hand as if it were a lifeline. “Seth will be good to you.”

  Grace bent over and kissed her grandmother. “I love you, too. Rest now. I’ll be right outside.” When Nana closed her eyelids, Grace glanced at Seth with confusion in her eyes.

  “Not here.” He pulled her out the door and down the hallway. “We’ll go to the chapel and discuss it there.”

  Shutting the door to the empty chapel, he turned to face Grace, seeing a mixture of pain, grief, and anger in her eyes. Raw emotion glittered in those dark pools of brown.

  “I understand you were trying to calm her, but what gives you the right to tell Nana I’m going to marry you?” She lifted her chin and boldly met his gaze. “Have you lost your mind? We can’t possibly go through with this.”

  “I said it for Nana’s sake.” He turned away from her, gripping the back of the church pew for inner strength. This wasn’t the way he wanted to get Grace to marry him, but he also wanted to save Nana. In time, Grace would come around and realize it was what she wanted just as much as he did. “You heard the doctor. You saw the condition she’s in. If she gets any more upset, we could lose her. She’s worried to death about leaving you alone.” He ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of a way to convince Grace to marry him. Maybe he could shock her into it. “If I can ease her mind, take away her worry, I’ll do whatever it takes.” He grabbed her by the arm. “Think about it, Grace. This is for Nana...not you or me. Don’t be so dammed selfish.”

  As if he had thrown a bucket of cold water in her face, she pulled away from his grasp. “How could you lie to her? You don’t want to marry me.”

  “I didn’t lie. I have every intention of marrying you.” His voice became cold and calm. He'd make her marry him...one way or another. He had to make her do it. “It could save Nana's life.”

  “It would never work. You don’t love me. You don’t know me.”

  To keep Nana alive, he knew she would do anything. She was defenseless with his logic. “I know you, but if it makes it any easier for you to go through with this, then, after she gets better, we can get a divorce.” He'd say whatever it took to get her to marry him, even if it did give her a way out.

  ***

  “Oh...I see.” Her heart slammed inside her chest. Fool. I knew he didn't love me. How stupid could she be to think he really wanted to marry her? Like he said, it was for Nana. She stiffened her spine, shrugging in resignation. She had to help her grandmother. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

  “Good, that’s my girl.” He reached out and pulled her into his arms. She laid her head against his chest and held on to him while he gently caressed her hair. He said he'd get a divorce. Now she knew his comfort had all been a charade. How could it feel so good and be so false? She sighed against his chest. So what if her heart broke in the process? She would go through with it for Nana.

  Grace refused to leave the hospital when Seth left to make the arrangements. Jenna and Cindy had gone for more coffee. She sat in the waiting room, feeling numb, watching the clock, and not wanting to be far from Nana. The last time she had been in Nana’s room, sometime in the early hours before dawn, she was unconscious. She had looked frail and small in the bed with all those tubes sticking out of her. Pressing Seth’s handkerchief to her eyes, Grace glanced up and Jenna handed her another cup of black coffee.

  A concerned Cindy gestured to her. “You can’t get married without flowers.” She carried a huge bouquet of Grace’s favorite flowers, in a vase, tied with a purple ribbon.

  “Where did you get these?” She’d be forever amazed at Cindy’s ingenuity and positive outlook.

  “Let’s say I have friends—or customers in high places—who don’t mind doing me a favor now and then. They’ll stay fresh this way until you need them.” She smiled and sat next to Grace, handing her the flowers. “Have you heard anything else?”

  Grace tried to smile. “The doctor says she’s resting comfortably, but not out of the woods yet.” She sniffed the red roses, daises and baby’s breath and let them mingle with her tears. “They’re beautiful. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” Cindy sat beside her. “She’s tough. She’ll make it just to see you and Seth have her grandkids.”

  A new and unexpected warmth coupled with a deep sorrow, surged through Grace at the thought of having Seth’s children. She took a sharp breath. “I told you, it’s not a real marriage. He told me we’d get a divorce soon as Nana gets better.”

  “I don’t care what the man said. I've known all along that you two were meant to be together. This is going to be real as it gets. Mark my words. The man loves you—this marriage will stick.”

  Grace’s chest ached under her breast at the words Cindy had spoken. She knew her friend meant well, but she was sadly mistaken. The fact Seth would want a divorce after Nana got better told her he didn’t care. It had all been an illusion she had built up in her mind. She put her arms around Cindy, hugging her. “I’ll do whatever it takes. I love her so much it hurts. I can’t lose her now.”

  They sat in the waiting room clinging to each other, trying to ease each other’s pain when Seth walked into the waiting room. “Grace, everything’s been arranged. The minister will come when the doctors give us the okay to go into Nana’s room and do this.” Grace tried to assess his unreadable features when he reached for her hand. At the base of her throat her heart had risen from its usual place. She must’ve lost her mind, but heaven help her, she’d go through with the marriage.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Cindy and Jenna had gone home to catch some sleep once Nana was stable. Now everyone was back looking refreshed. Grace still wore her rumpled shirt and jeans from the night before, but didn’t care. Most of the day had passed in a fog while Nana held her own. Grace wouldn’t leave her side. The only visitors had been the family lawyer and the minister. Nana had insisted on seeing them both alone, much to the doctor’s disapproval. Finally, Dr. Kruger ushered everyone into the room for the marriage ceremony.

  Grace stood next to Seth holding her bundle of flowers with Cindy acting as her maid of honor, Jenna the witness and Travis the best man.

  This was a never-ending nightmare. She was marrying a man who didn't love her...another mistake. Grace wanted to scream for help but couldn’t when she saw the joy on Nana’s pale face.

  “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

  Grace heard the words from a long way off. What man in his right mind would want to kiss a woman who’d been up all night with smudged make-up and probably bad breath? Grace cringed at how she must look. But...after all it was a sham. The minister smiled down at Nana and she began to breathe easier.

  Seth pulled Grace into his arms and gently kissed her on the lips. Grace’s soul ached at his touch. Damn, she still cared about him. Determined to keep up the illusion for Nana, she smiled and reached over and patted Nana’s small frail hand.

  Cindy kissed Seth’s cheek and hugged Grace, whispering into her ear. “I know you’ll be happy together. It’s going to be okay. I saw the look of love in his eyes when he said I do.”

  “Cindy, you’re the eternal optimist.” Totally fatigued, Grace hugged her dearest friend.

  “I have a wedding present for you.” Nana’s voice was still weak but sounded more like her usual self. “I had my lawyer draw up these papers for me. I already signed them.” Tears glistened in her eyes when she handed an envelope to Grace. “From my heart, I give you and Seth the Cactus Rose as your wedding present. It’s your home for Jamie and Joey. Pass it down to your children.” A coughing spell broke the moment.

  Sudden enlightenment struck Grace. Oh, my God. The ex-con got what he wanted. He now owns half of the ranch. I was such a fool.

  Dr. Kruger interrupted. “Ladies and gentleman, you’ll have to leave the room now. My patient needs her rest.” The doctor led them out of the room and into the corridor, and then glanced at Grace
. “She has a long way to go, but her condition has stabilized. I suggest you all go home. You're the best medicine for her but you'll be no good to her if you don't get some rest. If there’s any change I’ll call you.”

  Grace stood in the hallway totally exhausted. How could so much happen in such a short amount of time? Her whole body ached and it made her head spin to think of the things which had transpired in the last few hours.

  “Come along.” In a daze, she let Seth take her arm. “We need to go home. You’re about to collapse."

  The funny thing about it—he was right. She could barely keep her eyes open. Stunned, she let him lead her out of the hospital and into the truck. She had lost her heart, but not her mind.

  ***

  Seth drove out of the hospital parking lot and Grace fell asleep leaning against the side window. Along the way, Seth eased her against his shoulder. After he parked, he shook her arm trying to wake her. “Grace, we’re home.” She slept on as if she had been drugged. Jamie stood on the porch watching when he came around the truck and carried Grace into the house.

  Jamie held the door open, her eyes round with fear. “Is she hurt?”

  “No, she’s asleep. She's completely worn out. Do you want to help me get her settled in her room?”

  “Sure, Daddy. How’s Nana?” she whispered and ran up the stairs in front of him.

  “She’s doing better, but she’s going to have to stay in the hospital for a while.”

  Jamie hurried ahead of Seth and opened the door to Grace's room. “Are you going to put her to bed?”

  “Yes, turn down the covers.”

  Jamie rushed to do as he asked.

  He gently laid Grace down and removed her shoes, tucking her under the comforter. Pulling the bedding up to her neck, he leaned down and kissed her cheek. She rolled over, sighing in her sleep. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her—instead he longed to crawl under the covers with her and hold her through the night. But he would have to resist the urge for now, knowing it would take time for her to accept him as her husband.

  “Come with me and we’ll let her rest.” Taking his daughter’s hand they walked down the stairs together.

  “There are some things I need to talk to you about.” They sat at the kitchen table and he wondered how he could tell a seven-year-old she might lose someone very dear to her. He had to ease his way into this. “Want some juice?”

  “Sure.” She stared at her father with a worried expression on her face.

  “Where’s Joey?” he asked.

  “He’s in the pool with Travis and Cindy. Cindy told us Grace was too tired to do his therapy today. Said they wanted to help out.” She reached over and touched his hand. “I didn’t feel like swimming and waited on the porch for you.”

  “Thanks. You were a sight for sore eyes when I pulled up in the yard.” He sighed and set the juice down in front of them. “Come over here and sit on my lap.”

  She hurried to him, climbing onto his knee. Seth held her close and tried to explain. “Nana is very sick. Dr. Kruger thinks she’s going to get better, but we don’t know for sure. The next few days will be real important for her.”

  “What’s wrong with her?” Her pretty blue eyes opened wide with concern. “Joey and I woke up and everyone was gone, except Travis. He told us Nana was sick and had to go to the hospital.”

  “That’s Travis, a man of a few words. I’m sure he didn’t want you to fret over Nana and she wouldn’t want that either.”

  “So, what’s wrong with her?”

  He looked into her big blue eyes picking the right words to explain. “She had a heart attack. Her heart isn’t working quite the way it needs to.”

  “Oh...will she go to heaven, like grandpa?” Tears glistened in her eyes when she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I don’t want her to go into the clouds.”

  He hugged her to him. “None of us want that, sweetie. The doctor seems to think she’ll be okay, if we can get her to stop worrying about things.” He sighed. “I hope and pray he’s right. Grace and I will be going back to the hospital first thing in the morning.”

  “Can I go and see her?” She snuggled closer to him, letting him comfort her.

  He could see the moisture building in her eyes while he hugged her and murmured in her ear. “In a few days you’ll be able to see her, when she's better. In the meantime, you and Joey can color her some nice pictures. I’m sure she would like to see those when she wakes up.”

  Seth closed his tired gritty eyes and buried his nose in her soft hair, thinking of Nana. “She loves you very much.” He was still surprised Nana had given him half of the ranch to make a home for the kids. Of course, after Nana was better he’d give his half of the ranch back to her or Grace. It was rightfully theirs. Thanks to Nana’s involvement, the neighboring Davis ranch would be his, in less than a month.

  “We can color when Joey gets done with his therapy.” She jumped down off his lap. “I’ll go get the crayons and everything set up for us to draw. Joey likes to color with me.”

  “Wait a minute, Pumpkin. There’s something else I have to tell you.” He didn’t know how she would take this last bit of news, but the kids needed to be told. Travis would be talking about it with the other ranch hands. He didn’t want the kids to find out that way.

  “What?” She turned and glanced back at him.

  Jamie had practically told him to marry Grace. He didn’t think she’d have a problem with it, but you never knew with kids. Well, here goes. “Grace and I were married this evening in Nana’s hospital room.” He quietly waited for her reaction, praying it would be a good one.

  Her eyes lit up with expectation. “Yippee. That's so cool. I’ll have a mom of my own.” She clapped her hands above her head, dancing around the room in excitement, then ran over and hugged him. “We can stay here forever. We can all do fun things together, be a real family.”

  He hugged her back but his pleasure was bitter sweet. How long had his little girl been yearning for a real family? “Yes, but we have to take this slow. We rushed it because of Nana’s health and Grace is going to need time to get used to the idea.”

  “Oh, she will. She loves us.” She jumped up and down again, bubbling with excitement. “Joey is going to be happy about this, too.”

  “Slow down, we have to take it one step at a time.”

  “Okay, I’m going to the pool to tell Joey.” She turned to leave the room.

  “You do that, Pumpkin. And listen to what Travis and Cindy say. She’s going to be staying with us for a few days to help out.” He yawned and drank the rest of his orange juice while Jamie hurried out the door. It's time I got some rest, too. He trudged up the stairs to his room. Stopping and touching Grace’s door gently with his fingertips, he whispered, “Pretty lady, I’ll make things good for you. Just give me a chance.” Bone tired, he turned and went into his room. Throwing his hat and coat on the chair, he pulled off his cowboy boots and lay back on the bed.

  A lot had happened in the last twenty-four hours, including the most surprising—he was a married man. If only it were under better circumstances. Of course, Grace had only agreed to this sham marriage because of Nana’s condition. Too bad she didn’t care for him the way he cared for her. He sighed and wished she could love him back. Maybe with time, but until then, he’d give her space to let her work things out for herself. In his heart he wished it were a real marriage. He closed his eyes and fell asleep, dreaming of the kind-hearted woman in the room next door.

  ***

  Grace brushed a hand over her face as a painful muscle spasm woke her from a deep sleep. Rubbing her lower back, she glanced around the room, realizing she was still in her clothes from the previous night, sleeping in her own bed. Someone must’ve carried her in. Then it came flooding back...Nana’s heart attack...the hospital...her marriage to Seth.

  She sat straight up in the bed and stared at the clock. It was late morning—she had slept through the night and then some. She had to go
to the hospital and check on Nana. Jumping out of bed caused intense waves of pain to shoot up her spine and down her hips and legs. She grabbed a robe and slowly made her way into the bathroom.

  Turning on the hot water and getting under the spray helped to ease some of the aches and pains in her lower back. She had really pushed it and now she was paying the price. It didn’t matter, couldn’t be helped.

  After getting dressed for the day, she realized she was starving and needed to eat something before she headed back. Where was Seth? She wondered how she could face him as memories came back to haunt her. The look on his face when he’d said, “I do.” The haze she had been living under for the past few hours. Well, now she was awake and knew what she had to do—take it one day at a time. She would live the lie for Nana.

  Refreshed from her shower, she heard voices coming from the kitchen when she went downstairs. “When will Nana come home?” Joey asked with a tinge of alarm in his voice. The poor boy had lost too much in his short life and no doubt he was terrified of losing Nana.

  “We don’t know. Maybe we’ll know more after Grace and I visit her later today.” Seth glanced up from the kitchen stove, where he was making bacon and scrambled eggs for the kids. Grace walked into the room.

  “Hi.” He smiled with that sheepish cowboy grin. “Did you rest okay?”

  “Good as could be expected. Have you heard anything from the hospital?” She wondered if she could act the part of the loving wife in front of the kids.

  “I called and talked to Dr. Kruger a couple of hours ago and he said she was resting comfortably. Things are looking better.” He passed plates of food to Jamie and Joey. “Want something to eat?”

  “Sure, I'm hungry.” It seemed so civilized. The kids didn’t have a clue Seth had tricked Nana out of the ranch. Like most hungry boys, Joey was stuffing his face. Jamie smiled across the table at her. Had Seth told them they were married? The Cedar Falls grapevine was probably working overtime with the news. Sham that it was...the children needed to know. She couldn’t blame the kids for her predicament. They were the innocent ones in this whole mess.