Nephi's Courage

by Rory McFarlan

  Fall leaves painted the trees red, orange, and yellow. Crisp fall air inflated Nephi’s lungs as he drew a deep breath. He walked along the sidewalk toward the covered parking space that protected his truck from the weather. The 1996 Chevy 1500 4x4 showed signs of rust just above the tires and on the roof of the standard cab. Nephi preferred to think rust gave it character.

  It wasn’t perfect, but he owned it outright, having earned every penny of the five thousand dollar price tag. The truck was white with a tuxedo blue interior and sported custom saddle blanket seat covers that Nephi ordered on the internet. Despite its age, the immaculate interior gave the truck a modern appearance. A 5.7 liter Vortec V8 engine made her purr like a tiger and her manual transmission allowed Nephi to control the acceleration. He loved driving that truck. It wasn’t fancy, but it was his. At least it wasn’t a Ford so he wouldn’t need to wonder if it would start each morning.

  Nephi climbed into the truck and turned the key. The roar of the engine did his heart good. Falling leaves waved to him as he pulled out of the parking lot and guided his rig toward work. He drove along State Street and made a right on 1600 North, following it to the Brower Hotels reservation center where he was a day shift manager. Brower assigned shifts on a bidding system. Over the past nine years, Nephi worked his way up the seniority ladder. Fresh off of his mission, he started as a customer service agent.

  Empathy came naturally to Nephi, and he excelled in customer service. God blessed him with the ability to connect with people and that served him well in the hospitality industry. Through the years, he progressed from customer service agent to reservations team lead, escalation supervisor, and now to shift manager. Nephi’s seniority placed him high in shift bidding priority, landing him the day shift that he preferred – seven in the morning until four in the afternoon.

  Nephi pulled into the parking lot and made his way to his usual spot at the back. He could not achieve ten thousand steps without intention, and parking at the back of the lot gave him a better chance to meet his goal. The conversation from last night returned to his mind as he walked toward the door. He couldn’t wait to discuss it with Stacy during their weekly Friday lunch date. Stacy had been Nephi’s best friend as long as he could remember and he valued her opinion.

  A stream of cars entered the parking lot, a sign that the seven o’clock shift was about to begin. Nephi scanned his badge at the door and went inside. The night shift reservations agents looked relieved at Nephi’s arrival. They would soon badge out and go home to sleep. Fatigued faces turned toward the clock as Nephi went to his office and sat down at the computer to check the statistics from night shift.

  ‘Time to Answer’ at 4.7 seconds and ‘Abandon Rate’ under five percent. Not bad. Day shift never did quite so well because of higher call volume. Call handling time was 6.4 minutes, which was high, even for night shift. The agents may have been completing work typically done after the call while the customer was still on the phone because the increased call handling time corresponded to a reduction in ‘Idle Time’. Monica, the night shift manager, must have been coaching her team.

  Nephi had learned that people always perform according to how they are measured. If you want to change behavior, simply change the way you measure people and they will fall in line. Emphasis on ‘Idle Time’ reduction by a manager could easily lead to the unintended consequence of increasing call handling time. Then again, Monica may have intentionally made the tradeoff. Mark, the call center General Manager, had emphasized ‘Idle Time’ in the last leadership meeting. After analyzing the data for several minutes, Nephi walked next door to Monica’s office.

  Monica sat in a mesh-back office chair, eyes glued to her monitor. She was a slender brunette with stunning brown eyes. Four years back, while a freshman at BYU, Monica hired on as a reservations agent. After graduating with a Bachelor degree in Hospitality Management last month, they promoted her to shift manager on the night crew.

  “Good morning,” said Nephi.

  “Is it?” asked Monica. “I’ve been stuck here all night, I wouldn’t know.”

  “A beautiful fall morning,” stated Nephi. “Take some time to enjoy the colorful leaves on your way home. The snow will be here before you know it.”

  “I suppose,” she said. “Brock and Angela from your shift called off again. My guess is that they partied all night and called in just before crashing.”

  “That’s the third time this month,” said Nephi. “I just don’t understand it. This job isn’t that hard. I guess they are overdue for a difficult conversation.”

  “Good luck with that.”

  “Your stats from last night look great. I can tell you have been emphasizing ‘Idle Time’ with your team,” Nephi said with a smile.

  “Thanks for noticing, Nephi. I hope that Mark will notice, too. He doesn’t seem too fond of me. I bet the only thing he will notice is that ‘Call Handling Time’ went up.”

  “Well, I have noticed how hard you are working and the night crew isn’t easy to motivate. I’ll find an opportunity to point it out to Mark when he gets in,” offered Nephi.

  “I appreciate it. Well, look at the time, I’m going to wrap things up and get out of here,” she said, cueing Nephi to let her work.

  “I’ll leave you to it,” he said, turning to walk the floor.

  Nephi roamed the maze of cubicles. Night shift had all but cleared out and most of his team already logged in. Everyone was present except Brock and Angela. They had been nothing but trouble from the beginning. Having started in the same orientation group, they became fast friends and started dating after a week. Ever since then, they were inseparable. Sitting next to each other with shoes off and playing footsies was their thing.

  They spent every break making out, unable to keep their hands off of each other. Those two didn’t know the meaning of discretion. Nephi had told them time and again to be discreet but they didn’t get it. For the past month, he made them sit in different areas while on the phone to help them concentrate on customers, but Nephi wasn’t sure it was helping. Their ‘Time to Answer’ was the highest on the team, as was their ‘Abandon Rate’ and ‘Transfer Rate’. A hard conversation was, indeed, overdue. Discipline was the part of the job that Nephi disliked but it was necessary, especially when employees behaved like Brock and Angela, treating customers as if they don’t matter.

  Every phone was lit up and chatter filled the room. Nephi knew they must already have a hold queue. He retreated to his office to monitor the team and to prepare for escalations. Although his role was to motivate and supervise, Nephi often took calls when it was busy. He enjoyed speaking with customers and he was good at it. A fresh batch of new hires recently graduated from training and this was their first week taking live calls. Inexperienced employees, many fresh out of high school, provided ample coaching opportunity for the managers. Busy or not, Nephi needed to get a feel for their performance and correct any bad habits before it was too late. He first monitored Ben, one of the new training graduates.

  “Thank you for calling Brower Hotel reservations,” stated Ben. “How may I assist you?”

  “Nice”, thought Nephi, “he followed the script perfectly so far.” Nephi jotted notes as Ben helped the customer change a reservation for a business trip to Vancouver, BC. Ben did well, following the script for the most part. He missed some upsell opportunities and Nephi made a note for their one-on-one coaching session next week. Ben scored 77 out of 100 on the monitor. Not bad for a newbie. Nephi monitored four more new hires and took two escalations before Mark arrived.

  Mark stood straight and entered the building in measured steps, making his way to the corner office. The office was large, with windows on two sides, allowing plenty of light. Gray streaks accented his neatly combed dark hair. He was a handsome man who carried an air of authority. Even though Brower had a business casual dress code, Mark wore a full suit and tie. Nephi entered Mark’s office, met by a humorless stare. The men knew each other well outside of work be
fore Nephi even started working at Brower. Before Nephi served a mission, Mark was his Bishop, and he now served as second counselor in the Stake Presidency.

  “Good morning, Mark. How are you today?” asked Nephi.

  “I’m well. Thanks for asking. How are things so far today?”

  “So far, so good, although it is still early enough for that to change,” noted Nephi with a smile.

  Noticing that Mark did not find the humor in his lighthearted comment, Nephi turned to a more serious note.

  “I went over the numbers from last night and Idle Time is really improving. Monica is doing a great job with the night shift. They are a tough bunch.”

  “Yes, I see that,” said Mark, “but look at this Handling Time number. It’s up. I need to have her focus on that.”

  “It makes sense for that number to come up if the agents are extending the call to allow them to take care of post-call work to keep the ‘Idle Time’ down. I think it is important to acknowledge the wins. It is motivating. Night shift numbers are starting to look even better than evening shift,” observed Nephi.

  “That is true, but on evening shift, Steve deals with much higher call volume than Monica does. It is easier for Monica to have good numbers. Besides, I don’t really want to get my hopes up with her. I was hesitant to promote her in the first place.”

  “Why? Monica is fantastic. She is hard-working, motivated, and really cares about customers. You know as well as I do that it is difficult to find people like that in this business,” said Nephi.

  “I know, but you know how those BYU girls are. She works hard now, but as soon as she gets pregnant or her husband graduates from Law school, she will be out of here as fast as you can blink and then we will be in a world of hurt trying to replace her.”

  “With all due respect, Mark, it is not fair to assume what Monica might or might not do when her husband graduates. It is also not right to speculate about her family planning choices and how they might affect her career. Not to mention the fact that it is illegal to discriminate on the basis….”

  “Whoa, hold on there,” interrupted Mark, “no one said anything about discriminating against anyone. You seem to be the one who is jumping to conclusions. Let’s end this conversation right here.”

  “All I know is that Monica works hard. She is good at her job and that is the only factor that should go into the way you evaluate her.”

  The eyebrows on Nephi’s head turned upward, which made him worry about the crease beginning to form in the center of his forehead. He forced himself to remain calm to let his moisturizer do its job, despite his disbelief at Mark’s line of thinking.

  “I best get back monitoring,” Nephi said before returning to his small, windowless office.

  The conversation annoyed Nephi, but he had several monitors left to do before lunch so he pushed it out of his mind and concentrated on work. Before long, ten score sheets lay before him. While he reviewed them one by one, Nephi thought about his lunch date with Stacy. She had canceled on him a week earlier and it felt like forever since they talked. 77, 64, 68, 72, 81, 76, 84, 67, 92, and 88. Ten monitor evaluations in one morning. Not bad at all. Nephi admired his handiwork. He would have been very pleased with himself had he not just created a heap of coaching sessions to schedule. After filing away the evaluation forms, Nephi put on his jacket and headed out.

  The white truck rumbled down State Street toward the Purple Turtle, Nephi’s favorite lunch destination. One of Pleasant Grove’s oldest local eating establishments, the Purple Turtle offers burgers, hot dogs, chicken strips, salads and sides. Most of the time, Nephi would choose a salad but today, that just wouldn’t do. He needed comfort and few things soothed his nerves like the fish and chips from the Purple Turtle. Unlike most hamburger restaurants, the Purple Turtle prepared everything fresh. They hand-breaded the fish and onion rings and the English chips were to die for. Nephi looked forward to the food almost as much as the conversation with Stacy.

  The beak of the turtle on the restaurant’s sign smiled at Nephi as he pulled into the parking lot. The aroma of fried fish and onion rings hit him as he opened the truck door. No matter how many times he visited this place, the smell never got old. Stacy waited for him inside. Her light brown hair came almost to her shoulder and her round face greeted him with a loving grin. Nephi opened his arms wide and embraced her. Warmth washed over him as he squeezed his friend. Stacy gave the best hugs.

  “Thanks, sister. I needed that,” he said.

  “It’s so good to see you,” she exclaimed. “It seems like forever since we got together.”

  “I know, it has been way too long. Where are the kids?”

  Stacy and her husband, Roger, married five years back. They now had two children – three-year-old Chloe and adorable baby Wyatt. “Wyatt is napping at my mom’s house,” she replied, “and Chloe is hiding over there in that booth.”

  Her finger pointed toward a booth in the corner that appeared empty. A small head popped up. “Boo!” Chloe screamed out before falling back to the bench in a fit of giggles.

  Nephi walked over and picked her up. Curly locks of golden hair jumped from her head like coiled springs from a click pen. Blue eyes, wide with wonder, stared up at Nephi. The ruffles on her pink A-line dress waved.

  “How is my little Chloe bear today?” he asked as he swung her up to give her a hug.

  “I’m great, Uncle Nephi” she boldly declared while returning his embrace. She called him ‘Uncle’ even though they weren’t actually related.

  “Chloe, what do you want for lunch?” asked Stacy who had joined them at the booth.

  “Grilled cheese with tater gems, please!”

  They approached the counter. Stacy ordered the grilled cheese kid’s meal for Chloe and the Amigo Burger for herself. She loved the way the salsa blended with the Swiss cheese in her mouth. Nephi ordered a three piece halibut with English chips. Stacy added three small pumpkin shakes to their order. The Purple Turtle has the best ice cream in town and pumpkin was in season. Stacy knew that Nephi wouldn’t order one for himself and from the way his arms lingered when they hugged, she could tell he needed it.

  “Okay, now spill!” Stacy insisted. “What’s on your mind?”

  Nephi collected the lunch tray and carried it to the booth while Chloe clung to her mother’s finger. Silent while gathering his thoughts, Nephi took a bite of halibut. Finally ready, he started to speak.

  “Last night, I met with Bishop Thompson and shared some of my concerns about church policy regarding gay church members. I told him that I hope for a different future.”

  “You didn’t!” exclaimed Stacy, wide eyes glued to Nephi from the other side of the table. “What did he say?”

  Details of the conversation were difficult to push through his lips. Tears came to Nephi’s eyes as he recalled the finer points of the discussion. He paused, choked back the tears, and continued.

  “I could see the disappointment on Bishop’s face. He said that I am walking the fine line of apostasy and I better fall in line and support the Brethren. I didn’t feel heard or understood. I love Bishop Thompson, but empathy is not something that comes easily to the man and he sees this in black and white.” Nephi gazed down at his food, lost in thought.

  “Most church leaders I have known see that way,” said Stacy. “The church needs less black and white and a little more rainbow,” she grinned in an attempt to cheer him up.

  Nephi cracked a smile and shot Stacy a glance that said he was glad to have her in his life. Stacy sipped on her pumpkin shake while Chloe picked at tater gems.

  “It’s just so unfair,” said Nephi. “I feel so lonely. The church accepts gay members in good standing, but only if we remain celibate for life. And even then, we cannot receive the same degree of eternal salvation as God’s straight children. I could live a perfect life, obeying every commandment and remaining celibate and lonely and then what? I just don’t believe that a loving Heavenly Mother and Father would be so cruel a
s to create children in a way that precludes them from returning home to live with them again. I feel their love and I believe they want me to be happy. The Book of Mormon says that God placed us on earth to have joy. Why are the rules different for his straight children?”

  Frustration came through in Nephi’s voice, bordering on desperation. Stacy had known Nephi for as long as she could remember but had never seen him like this. The inner part of her eyebrows turned downward. Placing her finger below his chin, she raised his head until their eyes locked.

  “Nephi,” she said, “I need you to know that I love you and I know that God loves you. He wants you to be happy. I have no doubt of that. He wants you to return to live with him again. You are the best person I know and if you can’t make it to heaven, I don’t know how anyone can. God doesn’t hate you for the way he made you. I won’t pretend to understand everything or have all the eternal answers, but I do know that God created you just the way you are, and he loves you that way.”

  “Thanks, girl,” he replied. “You are too sweet. I don’t know what I would ever do without you.”

  Stacy smiled, continuing to look Nephi in the eye. Her tender tone comforted him. She took him by the hand. “You call me anytime you need to talk, day or night.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate your concern. Stacy, I haven’t talked to anyone about this but I am thinking about giving dating a go. You are still the only person I have ever kissed, and we both know how that went. I know doing so will shake up my life and my relationship with the church and most likely my family. It might even change our…”

  “No,” interrupted Stacy, “nothing you do will change our relationship, Nephi. I love you unconditionally and I mean that in every sense of the word. That won’t change. I want you to be happy. If you go down that road, come hell or high water, I have your back.”

  Contemplating the weight of his feelings, Nephi squeezed Stacy’s hand tighter and smiled. Tears filled his eyes as they sat in silence.