Nephi's Courage

by Rory McFarlan

  On fast Sunday, Mormons go without food for two meals and donate the money that they would otherwise spend on food to feed the needy. They also pray for specific blessings while fasting because fasting magnifies the power of prayer. Today Nephi was fasting to understand God’s will for him.

  On fast Sunday, rather than prepared talks given by members of the ward during sacrament meeting, fast and testimony meeting is held. You can think of it as open mic church. During the testimony portion of the meeting, anyone who wishes to bare testimony can stand at the pulpit to speak. It is intended for members to share convictions with one another and to strengthen each other. The counsel of church leadership is to keep it simple and focus on testimony of gospel topics. Despite that, many use it as an opportunity to share a travel log or a rant on their topic of choice. Testimony meeting was Nephi’s favorite Sunday of the month.

  General Conference is a meeting held twice per year on the first weekend of October and April. The prophet and twelve apostles that lead the church speak to church membership during five two-hour sessions that span Saturday and Sunday. Regular church meetings are not held that weekend so fast Sunday is moved to either the week before or after General Conference.

  Nephi skipped breakfast since he was fasting. He put on a dress coat over his suit and headed to church at eight thirty to make sure he had time to talk to Brother Hanson about an appointment with Bishop Thompson. Only two blocks for his apartment complex, Nephi enjoyed the walk to and from church each week. This morning was unusually cold for September and puffs of white breath floated into the air as he exhaled. Bright golden leaves covered the sidewalk, forming a yellow brick road that led to the church. For the first Sunday in as long as he could remember, Nephi didn’t have a set agenda, which was nice but the change left him uneasy.

  He arrived at church and entered the chapel. The chapel is the most sacred room in an LDS church building. Sacrament meeting, the one meeting per week that includes the entire congregation, is held there. During that meeting, the congregation partakes of blessed bread and water in remembrance of the body and blood of Christ. In doing so, they renew the covenants, or promises, that they made with God at baptism.

  The chapel is a large room with pews extending from the front all the way to the back. Hymnals are located on the back of each pew. At the front of the room is a rostrum that most members refer to as “the stand.” The Bishopric sits on the stand, looking down on the congregation. A piano and organ are also on the stand. In addition to the Bishopric, the organist, chorister, and speakers for the day sit there.

  In the center of the stand is a podium with a microphone where speakers present talks on gospel topics. The speakers change each week and are selected from members of the congregation. The Bishop does not speak every week. Because of fast Sunday, no speakers would be assigned today and anyone in the congregation who felt inspired to address the group would have the opportunity to do so.

  Brother Hanson sat on the third pew back from the stand with his family. Sister Hanson was at his side and their eighteen-year-old son, Bradley, sat next to her. His thirteen-year-old brother, Todd, was with the other deacons on the bench at the far left side of the chapel where he would bless the bread and water for the sacrament during the meeting.

  Their other six children who ranged in age from eleven to one, filled the rest of the row. Sister Hanson home schooled all of them, worried that public school would corrupt them with teachings of evolution and climate change. Nephi approached Brother Hanson whose broad shoulders took the space of two average-sized people. His unkempt hair covered most of his ears and Nephi could see the large bald spot on the crown of his head from behind.

  “Good morning, Brother Hanson,” said Nephi, extending his hand.

  Brother Hanson stood and looked down at Nephi, who was a good foot shorter. He hesitantly extended his hand and seemed almost repulsed when their hands touched. Nephi grasped his hand and shook it firmly for a second before Brother Hanson’s arm quickly retreated.

  “I understand that you own the Bishop’s agenda until they call someone else,” Nephi said. “I need to meet with him today.”

  “He gave me a heads up this morning. How does one thirty this afternoon work?”

  “That’s perfect. I’ll be there.”

  Nephi turned to go find a seat on the bench in the middle of the congregation where he sat with his parents almost every week.

  “Hold on a second, Nephi,” called Brother Hanson. “There I something that has been bothering me that I would like to ask you.”

  Nephi turned to face Brother Hanson and looked upward, his bright blue eyes expressing curiosity as they locked with Brother Hanson’s coal black pupils.

  “What is it?” asked Nephi.

  “I just don’t get it, Nephi,” Brother Hanson explained. “Why do you even bother coming to church? You clearly don’t believe in the doctrine. You don’t follow the brethren. All you do is question. If you are going to come here, you need to have faith and fall in line with the brethren. We don’t need the doubting. It spreads and causes people to fall away.”

  Nephi was flabbergasted and hurt. His gaze shifted downward momentarily before raising back up and locking on Brother Hanson’s eyes. Nephi’s face showed an intensity that Brother Hanson had not seen before.

  “Brother Hanson, we have worked side by side for a long time but you do not know me. You have no idea what is going on inside my head. I can assure you that I have a testimony of Jesus Christ and his role as my Savior and Redeemer. I have faith in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe the doctrine. Sure, I have questions, lots of people do. That doesn’t mean that there is no place for me here. God’s church is for all of his children.”

  Nephi continued, “There are areas where I am strong and others where I am weak, just like all of God’s children. Believe me, I try hard to improve on my faults and to show love and kindness to all of God’s children. Some make it harder than others. Please don’t judge me because I sin differently than you do. And don’t assume that you know my sins. Remember that God will judge us the same way that we judge others. Keep your eyes on your own actions and leave the judging to God. I apologize if I am coming across harshly, but I feel strongly about this. I love you and respect you and hope that we can stay on good terms.”

  As Nephi was speaking, Bishop Thompson approached. He could hear the conversation from across the room and was worried that it might escalate in front of the congregation that was growing in numbers as the nine o’clock hour drew near.

  “How are you brethren doing?” asked Bishop.

  “Just fine,” said Nephi before turning to take a place next to his mother a few rows back.

  Convinced he de-escalated the situation, Bishop Thompson took his place on the stand. Nephi forced his attention to the sweet sound of the organ that piped prelude music into the chapel. The music calmed him and prepared his mind for sacrament meeting as he squeezed his mom’s hand.

  The prelude music stopped as Bishop Thompson stood and walked to the podium.

  “Good morning, Brothers and Sisters. Welcome to sacrament meeting. As a reminder, today is fast and testimony meeting because General Conference is next week. We encourage all to attend all sessions on Saturday and Sunday. Prepare your minds and hearts this week to receive the words of the prophets. We will now sing hymn number two, The Spirit of God, after which Sister Worthington will offer the invocation.”

  Music from the organ filled the room as Bishop Thompson took his seat. Hymn books in hand, the congregation sang praise to God with exuberance. Nephi loved this hymn. He sang loudly, his voice blending with his mother’s in harmony. Following the hymn, Sister Worthington walked to the stand and offered a prayer to open the meeting. The prayer finished, Bishop Thompson returned to the podium.

  “We’d like to thank Sister Brown and Sister Layton for the beautiful music. I will now turn the time over to Brother Peters from the Stake High Council for some stake business, after wh
ich, we will prepare to partake of the sacrament by singing hymn number 172, In Humility, Our Savior.”

  Bishop Thompson returned to his seat while Brother Peters came to the podium. Brother Peters served on the High Council in the stake. A Stake is made up of multiple wards, or congregations, in the LDS church. Each ward is led by a Bishopric and the Stake is led by a Stake Presidency. The Stake President calls twelve additional men to assist with the leadership of the Stake. These twelve men are called the High Council. Every member of a Stake Presidency, Bishopric, and High Council must be ordained to the office of High Priest, a higher calling in the priesthood. One responsibility of the High Council is to bring Stake business to the wards, and this is the reason that Brother Peters stood at the podium.

  “Good morning, Brothers and Sisters,” he said. “We have some releases and callings for positions in the Stake. The following individuals have been released from their callings in the Stake. Brother Simon James from the third ward as the Stake sports coordinator. Sister Julie Mayhew from the seventh ward as the Stake young women’s secretary. Brother Nephi Willard from the ninth ward as the ward executive secretary. All those who wish to give these individuals a vote of thanks for their service, please do so by the uplifted hand.”

  Everyone in the congregation raised their right hand, signifying their gratitude for the service provided. Brother Peters continued.

  “The following individuals have been called to positions in the Stake. If you are present, please stand when I read your name. Brother Richard Wahlstrom of the ninth ward has been called as the Stake sports coordinator. Sister Sarah Cahill has been called as the Stake Young Women’s secretary. All those in favor, please signify by the uplifted hand.” All hands were raised.

  “Any opposed, by the same sign,” he continued. No hands were raised. “Thank you,” he concluded.

  Brother Peters took his seat on the stand and the organ began to play. The congregation sang to prepare their minds and hearts to partake of the sacrament. It was unusual to release an executive secretary without calling another one and Nephi thought despite what anyone said, his release directly resulted from his earlier discussion with Bishop Thompson.

  As he sang, Nephi pushed those thoughts out of his mind and concentrated on Jesus. He thought of the earthly ministry of Christ and of his atoning sacrifice. When the hymn ended, one of the priest’s blessed the bread and the young deacons passed it to the congregation. After everyone had partaken of the bread, they blessed and passed the water.

  Bishop Thompson then stood and thanked the young men of the Aaronic Priesthood for their service in blessing and passing the sacrament and then bore his testimony. It is customary for the member of the Bishopric who is conducting sacrament meeting for the month to share their testimony of the gospel at the beginning of fast and testimony meeting before opening the meeting for others to speak. At the conclusion of his testimony, he invited any who desired to bare testimony to stand.

  The first to make her way to the stand was Maddie McIntyre, a six-year-old fire ball with wild bright red hair to match her personality. She escaped the pew while Sister McIntyre was wrestling Maddie’s three-year-old brother, Michael. Maddie’s testimony was a monthly occurrence. Through the years, the church has given direction from time to time regarding young children sharing testimonies in sacrament meeting. The guidance usually instructs church members to give children opportunities to bare testimony in primary class and in the home and discourages them from doing so in sacrament meeting but it still continues, mostly to the delight of the congregation.

  Brother Baker, the first counselor in the Bishopric, scooted a carpeted block against the podium, allowing Maddie to reach the microphone. She stepped onto it and grasped the mic, pulling it close to her face. Maddie’s mouth breathing echoed through the chapel.

  “Brothers and Sisters,” she said directly into the microphone, a bit too loud for the comfort of the congregation. Brother Baker adjusted the PA volume downward. “I’d like to bury my testimony.”

  Low chuckles echoed through the congregation at the thought of the child placing her testimony in a hole in the ground.

  Little Maddie continued, “I know the church is true. I love my mommy and daddy and I know that they love me. I know that Jesus loves me even when I don’t share with Michael. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

  Maddie climbed down and ran back to her seat next to Sister McIntyre, leaving the congregation smiling. Sister McIntyre put her arm around Maddie and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Emboldened by Maddie’s success, three more primary children headed to the stand and shared a short, sweet testimony.

  Sister Allred was next. She never failed to speak on fast Sunday. Sharing the details of her visit to her daughter’s family in Gilbert, Arizona earlier in the month, she bore testimony of missionary work and bragged of her grandson who would leave for a mission to Arkansas within the month. Nephi felt impressed to stand while listening to Sister Allred. He stood and walked to the stand, taking a seat behind Bishop Thompson while he waited for Sister Allred to finish.

  Bishop turned to look at Nephi, shooting him a stern glare as if to warn him against spreading doubts to the congregation. Annoyed at the lack of trust, Nephi smiled and nodded. Once Sister Allred said “Amen” and walked toward her pew, Nephi took the podium. Standing tall and wearing that ever-present smile, Nephi spoke.

  “Good morning, Brothers and Sisters, I would like to bare my testimony today. My heart is full of gratitude for the opportunity that I have had to serve you as executive secretary for the past four years. I learned and grew in my calling. I am especially thankful that I got to know so many of you so well. I want you to know that I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior, and that He lives. He suffered for our sins so that we may repent and return to live with God again. I know that each of us is a child of God. He created us and he loves us just the way we are. When we have faith in him and seek his guidance, he will direct us and help us grow. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and that he translated the Book of Mormon by the power of God. I know that book is true and that it contains the full gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that this is God’s church. I love you, Brothers and Sisters, and I love my Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ. I am so thankful for the atonement of Christ. It is a great blessing in my life. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

  Nephi smiled and returned to the pew next to his mom. Despite the turmoil of the past few days and the mal-intent he felt was directed his way, he had a testimony of the gospel and knowledge that God loved him. He was glad for the opportunity to share that testimony with his family and with the members of his ward. He looked forward to speaking with Bishop Thompson.

  Several members of the congregation stood to bare testimony of Jesus Christ and various principles of the gospel until the end of the hour. The meeting closed with hymn number five, High on the Mountain Top, and a prayer by Brother Bennet. The congregation then dismissed for Sunday school classes.

  Although Bishop had not asked Nephi to attend Gospel Principles class, after his conversation with President Stone, he knew that was the intention, so he went straight to that class. He was glad to be in a smaller class with the full-time missionaries and members of the ward who were either newly baptized or less active. Rumors fly fast in an LDS ward and are followed by judgment and awkward stares. Nephi could avoid all of that in Gospel Principles class. The topic for the day was Honesty. A straight forward topic that Nephi was glad to discuss. If Nephi was anything, he was honest. He enjoyed the discussion.

  Nearly every Sunday, Nephi went directly to his parents’ house after church to visit for the day. When Sunday school was over, he told his mom and dad about his one thirty appointment with Bishop Thompson, letting them know that he would be over later.

  He hugged them and followed the yellow brick road back to his apartment where he prayed for guidance during his discussion with Bishop. He watched a Tabernacle Choir concert DVD, enjo
ying the sound of their well-blended voices. The concert ended and Nephi prayed again, seeking to understand the God’s will for him as he continued to fast. One thirty approached, and he headed back down the golden leaf path toward the church building.

  Once Nephi arrived, he walked through the doors and into the foyer where he found Brother Hanson waiting. It felt strange to see someone else managing Bishop Thompson’s agenda.

  “Bishop is still in a meeting,” said Brother Hanson. “He should be with you soon.”

  Nephi sat in a chair with his head in his hands. Brother Hanson’s tone was friendly, almost as if their heated exchange before sacrament meeting hadn’t happened, but Nephi didn’t feel like talking to him. He remained silent until Bishop Thompson emerged from his office.

  “Come on in, Nephi,” Bishop Thompson called out. Nephi shook Bishop’s hand on the way into his office and sat in the chair opposite Bishop’s desk.

  “Let’s begin with a prayer,” suggested Bishop Thompson. “Will you please offer it, Nephi?”

  The men kneeled before proceeding to fold their arms, bow their heads and close their eyes. Nephi prayed aloud.

  “Our Father in heaven, we come before thee in fasting and prayer and ask for thy spirit to be with us while we meet. We ask thee to bless us with guidance and direction. Please help us understand one another and to understand thy will for us. We ask thee for strength and for discernment. Bless us with those things that we fast for today and bless those who are in need. We thank thee for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for His atonement. We thank thee for the opportunity we have to come to earth. Please help us follow thy commandments and to do the things necessary to return to thee. We ask and pray for these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”