Nephi's Courage

by Rory McFarlan

  “As long as he continues in sin, he is not my son and I will not love a sinner, especially one like him.”

  Realizing that banging his head against a wall would be more productive, Nephi excused himself. Not in the mood for gospel discussion, he walked right past the Gospel Principles room and out the door. He found Bradley at home browsing classified ads.

  “Any luck?” he asked.

  “There are a couple of fast food jobs nearby and a call center customer service job. Most of the jobs are too far away without a car.”

  “You can also check the bus schedules and find something near a stop on the bus route, or work somewhere within walking distance and save money for a car. It will take some time, but you can do it. You don’t need to worry about covering rent while you’re with me.”

  “That’s a good point and I really appreciate that. How was church?”

  “You know, same old routine. Nothing exciting,” replied Nephi, not wanting to upset him with the ugly details.

  “I guess I didn’t miss much.”

  “Believe me, today you didn’t miss anything. Just know that you are always welcome to come with me and if you aren’t feeling it with your family there, you can always attend the singles ward that meets at noon. I’ll go with you if you want.”

  “Thanks, Nephi, but I’ve had my fill of church for a lifetime and I think a Mormon singles ward would feel awkward for me as a gay man. I don’t see myself going back.”

  “I get it, but if you ever change your mind, you have a place next to me. Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?”

  The question made Bradley laugh out loud. “Where would I go?” he asked. “This apartment is my world right now.”

  “Then let’s expand your world view. We have dinner with my family at 6:00. Every fast Sunday, we have a get together with the whole crew.”

  “I can’t say that it makes me feel good seeing your loving, accepting parents. I can’t help but contrast them to mine, but I’ve never been one to turn down Darla’s cooking,” replied Bradley.

  “Honestly, my relationship with them hasn’t been the same since I came out, especially my dad, but your family takes it to an absurd level and I can’t tell you how sorry I am about that. In this life, you have to accept kindness where you can find it. As you know, it isn’t an abundant resource.”

  “Ok, I’m in. You talked me into it.”

  “Perfect. Feel free to ignore anything Jacob says. He has nothing on your parents, but he suffers from a nasty case of acute homophobia.”

  “Thanks for the notice.”

  Nephi changed out of his church clothes and the two of them binged half of Gilmore Girls season two before it was time to head over to Mike and Darla’s place for dinner.

  The entire Willard clan was already at the house when Nephi arrived with Bradley in tow. Dallin, Sophie, and Crystal clamored with delight when he came through the door and stampeded down the stairs to attack him with hugs.

  Nephi hugged them back and asked how they were doing. That led to a ten minute conversation about the pandas at the zoo, the latest crime fighting adventures of the Hero Battalion, and everything he ever wanted to know about raising a baby doll.

  Nephi sent them downstairs to play while he and Bradley proceeded into the kitchen where they found Darla, Chelsea, Rob, and Camille.

  He greeted them and introduced his siblings-in-law to Bradley.

  “You two sure have been hanging out a lot, lately,” observed Darla.

  “Well,” said Nephi, “Bradley will be staying with me for a while.”

  “Oh, you two are living together? Are you like, a thing?” asked Rob.

  “No, it’s not like that,” replied Bradley. “I came out to my parents, and they kicked me out of the house. I had nowhere else to go and Nephi was kind enough to take me in.”

  “Oh, no, they didn’t,” sighed Darla. “I knew your mother was uptight and your father can be overbearing, but I never pegged them for the kind that would cast out a child.”

  “Apparently, they are that kind,” whispered Bradley as his gaze fell to the floor.

  “You are always welcome here,” said Darla, stepping forward to give Bradley a hug.

  Bradley hadn’t realized how much he needed a hug from a mother, even if she wasn’t his own. A tear streamed down his check as he embraced her.

  “Nephi, why don’t you take Bradley downstairs to the family room? Dad is down there with Jacob, Ammon, and Tiffany. They are having a little family chat while this bunch is helping me with dinner. Nephi noticed the serving bowls full of meat, chili, green onions, shredded cheese, tomatoes and sour cream.

  “Potato bar?” he asked.

  “I thought we could do both potatoes and tacos tonight. The baked potatoes are in the oven and I am warming tortillas in the microwave,” replied Darla. “It should be ready in about ten minutes.”

  Nephi and Bradley descended the stairs to the family room where they found Mike chatting with the other Willard kids.

  “Bradley is with you again, huh?” said Mike. “Are we doing this now? Are you guys an item?”

  Before Nephi could speak, Jacob interjected, “Dad tells us you brought a date to the trunk-or treat and now you bring another one to family dinner? What’s going on? Are you going full blown gay?”

  “First,” replied Nephi, “I’m not sure what full blown gay even means. You already know that I am gay and as far as I know, there is no tool to measure how gay someone is. Second, I don’t know why the four of you feel you need to have a family meeting about my relationship status, but it is really none of your business.”

  “We are just concerned about you,” added Tiffany.

  “You don’t need to be,” said Nephi. “Whatever all of this is,” he continued while moving his hands in a circle, “you need to stop. Just stop.”

  “You all have the wrong idea,” said Bradley. “Nephi and Alex are just friends and I’m nothing more than a house guest.”

  “That’s not true, you are my friend,” countered Nephi. “And you don’t need to justify anything to them. It’s not any of their business.”

  Nephi hadn’t placed himself in the middle of their romantic relationships and he didn’t appreciate them getting in the middle of his, even if there was no relationship to get in the middle of.

  Bradley then recounted the events of the week to Mike, Jacob, Ammon, and Tiffany. Tiffany’s jaw dropped as he explained the details of his eviction.

  The sound of Darla’s high pitched voice calling the family for dinner interrupted the story. Nephi gathered the children from the playroom and everyone headed upstairs for tacos and baked potatoes. It seemed an odd combination to Bradley, but he was glad to have something to eat and to be with people who seemed to have drama of their own.

  The rest of the night was uneventful other than the entertainment factor of little Dallin trying to cheat at Go Fish. Bradley enjoyed watching the interactions between members of another Mormon family. He sensed the tension between some of them, but they were much more relaxed than his family.

  After dinner and card games, Nephi excused himself and Bradley. He gave everyone hugs and told them he loved them and he and Bradley returned to the apartment for the night.

  They squeezed in two more episodes of Gilmore Girls before bed and then Nephi crashed on the sofa while he insisted that Bradley sleep in the bed. Bradley wasn’t sure what the new week would bring. He was devastated by the actions of his own family and intrigued by Nephi’s. He felt uneducated about life and ill-equipped to face it. One thing he knew is that he needed a job. His search would continue in the morning.

  Chapter 12

  While Nephi worked the next day, Bradley continued the job search. He submitted dozens of resumes and waited for a call. With nothing else to do, he watched DVDs and spent a lot of time thinking and worrying. He had never been on his own before or without a strict routine. His newfound freedom was exhilarating, but also terrifying.

  Wh
ile Bradley sat at the apartment, doing his best to stave off anxiety, Nephi went about his day at Brower. Hotel reservations really pick up right after Halloween as people start thinking about travel for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even staffing the call center with more agents didn’t keep the hold queue at an acceptable level and it impacted their numbers. ‘Time to Answer’ was through the roof. Even the managers took calls in an attempt to keep up.

  Despite the busy day, Nephi took a break to pay a visit to Mark’s office. He knocked on Mark’s open door.

  “Come in,” said Mark, motioning inward with his hand.

  Nephi entered his office and took a seat.

  “I would like to talk to you about Bradley Hanson,” said Nephi.

  “Oh, yes. Bishop Thompson filled the Stake Presidency in on the Hanson family. It seems they are dealing with some things right now.”

  “I should say so,” replied Nephi. “Anyway, Bradley has been staying with me since his parents kicked him out last week and I am trying to help him get on his feet. He needs a job and since we are so busy this time of year, I think it is a good opportunity to get someone who is eager to learn. I think he would be a great reservations agent.”

  “I’m sorry, Nephi, but I can’t hire Bradley Hanson.”

  “Why not? We must have a new group starting training soon, anyway.”

  “Yes, a week from today.”

  “That’s perfect. Let’s add him to that group.”

  “I told you, I will not do that. Bradley Hanson needs to learn that the Lord will only bless him if he obeys the commandments. If he does not honor his father and mother and disregards the commandment to serve a mission, he will have no such blessings.”

  “That makes no sense. Are you making that judgement on the Lord’s behalf? Withholding blessings because you judge it to be right?”

  “I don’t feel impressed to offer him a job right now. And my advice to you is to stop helping the boy. If he has nowhere to go, he will be humble and will honor his parents. Your actions are blocking his blessings.”

  “That is the most convoluted logic I have ever heard. I’m sorry, I will not abandon someone in need after he was forced out by no fault of his own. Bradley has done nothing but be honest about who he is. He is much braver than I was at his age and I admire that. At that age, I couldn’t even admit it to myself.”

  “Suit yourself, but be careful. You don’t want the Lord’s judgement to fall on you, too.”

  “I’ll take my chances and I will help Bradley find a job and get on his feet, even if it’s not here.”

  Upset, Nephi left Mark’s office and returned to the call center floor. The thick cloud of judgement that hung in the air over Pleasant Grove seemed contagious and he was desperate to find a cure.

  Redirecting his mind back to work, Nephi took several customer calls until it was time for lunch. With a guest at home, his routine was thrown off, and he forgot to bring lunch so he grabbed a protein shake from the vending machine in the break room and drank it in his office while he called Alex.

  “How was the rest of the weekend?” asked Alex.

  “Bradley’s parents both spoke in church. The entire time his dad was using scripture to justify disowning his own son and his mom was either in denial or is a total hypocrite. I tried talking some sense into his dad but that turned out to be just as productive as conversion therapy.”

  “That’s the problem with scripture, there are so many ways to interpret it, you can use it to justify just about anything. Look at all the wars people fought throughout history in the name of God,” said Alex.

  “I know. It was infuriating. Then we had dinner with my family last night. When we arrived, my father was leading a family meeting about me and my romantic relationships, which are a figment of his imagination. Unless you count the short kiss with Bradley, that is.”

  “Wait, what? You kissed Bradley?”

  “Not exactly. On Friday, he was upset, and I consoled him. In the heat of the moment, he kissed me. It only lasted a few seconds before I pulled away and told him it can’t happen.”

  “Wow, how does it feel to break out of the virgin lips club?”

  “The kiss was nice, but he’s way too young for me and the history with his family in the ward would make it super awkward. Besides, I like Bradley, but I’m not really into him in that way.”

  “I get that. Either way, congratulations on taking a step. Even if it wasn’t intended, that’s no small thing.”

  “True. I thought it would make me feel guilty. Maybe it was the moment and the way it happened, but it felt natural. Next time I don’t think I’ll be as hesitant as I have in the past.”

  “Baby steps. I think you’re smart to take it slow. You’re a complicated man.”

  “I’m not sure how to take that.”

  “How are things progressing with Brent and Gary?”

  “They’re not. After confessing my Mormonhood, Gary cut it off and I haven’t heard a thing from Brent in a week.”

  “Oh man,” laughed Alex, “he’s totally ghosting you.”

  “Ghosting me?”

  “You know, completely ignoring you. He disappeared like a ghost and eventually you’ll have no idea if he was real or just a figment of your imagination. Consider yourself lucky. At least he isn’t breadcrumbing you.”

  “Breadcrumbing?”

  “Don’t you know anything? It means stringing you along, sending little flirty messages with no intention of carrying it forward but not having the guts to cut it off. They both suck but I would rather be ghosted than breadcrumbed. What can I say? Snuzzle can be a cruel place.”

  “Why don’t I know any of this?”

  “You are new to dating apps and you’re not on social media. I don’t know how you expect to keep up with the world.”

  “I don’t know, maybe I’m a lost cause but hey, I wanted to ask if you are free sometime this week. I still owe you an environmental debate about my gas guzzling beauty.”

  “I’m looking forward to it. How about Wednesday night? I can make dinner for you and Bradley at your apartment.”

  “Wednesday works. I’ve been wanting to try more of your cooking ever since I tasted your chili.”

  “Alright, we’re on for Wednesday then. I’ll be there around 6:00.”

  With that, they said goodbye. Nephi finished out his shift monitoring calls and running reports. On his last pass through the call center he noticed that Brock and Angela had migrated back together and were playing footsies while taking calls.

  “Be discreet,” he whispered as he walked by. “I don’t want to see you sitting together tomorrow.”

  Brock grinned sheepishly, knowing that they had taken advantage of a busy day to pull one over on Nephi. They continued with the footsies as he walked away.

  Steve arrived and Nephi reviewed reports with him and completed shift handoff before heading home.

  Bradley had been submitting resumes all day. In all, he submitted over fifty, but had yet to hear back from a single one which left him discouraged.

  Nephi told him, “It can take a while to get through the resume filter and get a human to look at it and a lot of the local places don’t even list jobs online. Tomorrow, you should walk around and ask places if they are hiring.”

  “Just walk in off the street and ask for a job? That sounds strange. I’m not sure if I would be comfortable doing it.”

  “You need to get out of your comfort zone to grow. It seems awkward at first but once you get over that, and push through the discomfort, good things will happen and you will grow. After a while, it might not seem so awkward.”

  “Okay, I’ll give it a try tomorrow. Did you have time to see if anything is open at your work?”

  Nephi hesitated and looked away, not sure how to answer. After thinking for a few seconds, he said, “Yeah, I looked into it but it seems we don’t have anything right now. I’ll ask around and see if anyone else knows of something. I’ll check with Stacy and my family, too
.”

  “Thanks for checking. I appreciate it. I just hope I find something soon.”

  “So do I. Hey, Alex is coming over on Wednesday night to cook for us and chat about my truck and world issues.”

  “Sounds like fun. I guess I have something to look forward to,” said Bradley.

  Work filled the next two days for Nephi while Bradley continued the job search. In the afternoon, Nephi taught him how to use the machines in the fitness room and they both spent the evening continuing the DVD binge. Nephi liked having company at the apartment. Each night didn’t seem so lonely. Bradley felt lost ever since his parents turned his world on its head but he was glad for somewhere safe to stay and for a listening ear.

  On Wednesday after work, Nephi returned home quickly. He showered, changed into fresh clothes, and put on a splash of his favorite cologne. Then he watched out the window in anticipation of Alex’s arrival.

  “Wow, you’re really into this guy, aren’t you?” asked Bradley.

  “You know we’re just friends.”

  “You keep saying that but since I have been staying here, this is the first time you have dolled yourself up right after work, and the way you are staring out that window reminds me of the way my dog stares at a bully stick before he devours it.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. My work day was just long, and I needed a shower. It’s not that uncommon, and I’m just interested to know when Alex arrives. He should be here any minute now,” replied Nephi, beginning to pace as he continued staring out the window.

  Excitement grew in Nephi’s belly when he saw the Prius pull into the parking lot and settle into an empty space. Alex got out of the car and walked around the back, removing two paper grocery bags from the hatchback. Nephi moved to the bathroom and ran a comb through his hair, double checking the mirror to make sure it was just right.

  When the knock came at the door, Nephi asked Bradley to answer while he sat casually on the couch as if he had been there the entire time. Bradley rolled his eyes as he opened the door and invited Alex inside.