Pretty Boy

by Carlos King

  Jovon glances back at Shanti. “There are a lot of beautiful people in the world who are willing to look beyond our physical flaws and focus in on our internal qualities.” Jovon and Shanti exchange endearing smiles. “I didn’t really believe that at first, but know I do.”

  Jovon’s seminar goes on for over twenty minutes, during which time he succeeds in captivating the attention of everyone in the audience with a mixture of truth, humor and blunt honesty. The crowd is hanging on to Jovon’s every word. Every time he makes a specific point the crowd erupts in cheer.

  “Now before I leave you, I would like to show you guys something very personal to me.”

  A huge screen lowers from the ceiling. Shanti makes her first appearance in front of the crowd, coming out on stage to bring Jovon a remote control. Shanti then exits back off stage, receiving an abundant amount of flattering compliments and numerous whistles from the gawking men of the audience.

  “Now, I’ve been out here calling you guys ugly and everything like that, but the only reason I did that was to simply get you use to it. You have to be honest with yourselves in order to gain content in life. Just look at me. I’m ugly as all hell and I know it, but the difference between me and all of you is that I’m proud to be an ugly person. Anybody can wake up in the morning and walk around with a good looking face and a nice toned body, but it takes a special person to wake up every day with a face that could scare off the devil. I’m the ugliest person in this auditorium, and if I can have this kind of confidence, you guys should have the confidence of playboy centerfolds. Now I want you all to turn your attention to the screen.”

  Jovon clicks the remote and a picture of his current face and body displays on the twenty foot screen.

  “That’s me,” Jovon said proudly. “I know, it’s hideous, right? Notice the droopy ears, the crooked nose, the lazy eye, balding head, missing teeth, dark eye rings, bad skin and the horrible looking body. Disgusting, isn’t it? Now, take a look at this picture.”

  Jovon clicks the remote again and a picture of his face and body from a month ago pops up. “This is one of the people who use to make people like you feel bad about yourselves.”

  The crowd boos the good looking person.

  “Now, now, now,” Jovon stated, “there’s no need to boo this man because unlike a lot of other self-centered people, this one has changed his ways. Because this person and this person…” Jovon clicks the remote again, which puts the two pictures side-by-side, “Are the same people.”

  The crowd awes in shock.

  “That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. That handsome, sexy son of a bitch was me just a month ago. I know you’re all wondering what the hell could’ve caused such a transformation, but don’t worry. I promise you, it’s nothing contagious. Someone just put a curse on me that made my outer beauty switch positions with my inner ugliness. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Jovon Smooth, and believe it or not, I’m only in my late twenties.”

  The crowd awes in shock again.

  “In closing, I just want to say that everything you saw and heard here today was real. These pictures have not been photo shopped and I’m not wearing a body suit with make-up. This face, this body and everything you see here is real. Nevertheless, I’m still proud to be here. Because despite what people say about me, I know that I’m a good person, and that’s something that a lot of people can’t say. Now none of you, without the aid of plastic surgery, will ever be supermodels…But that doesn’t mean you can date them. All you have to do is remember one thing. It’s all about your swagger. Now, go get ‘em!”

  The crowd explodes in cheer. Every single person in the auditorium is giving Jovon a standing ovation. Jovon takes a bow and casually walks off stage. When he finally gets backstage, he and Shanti embrace in a hug.

  Hugging Jovon tightly, Shanti informs him, “I’m so proud of you.”

  “Thanks, Shanti. I wouldn’t have been able to do all of this without you.”

  The two step back from one another.

  “Did you hear the applause they gave me?” Jovon asked, still feeling the bug of excitement surge through his aged body. “I should hold another one and start charging admission,” he joked.

  Shanti smiles, “You crazy.”

  “But seriously, I think I might’ve actually helped a few people out today.”

  “I think you helped more than a few.”

  “Man, I feel like a huge ass weight has just been lifted off my shoulders.”

  Shanti looks at her watch. “Look, I’m sorry to cut the celebration short, but I have to get out of here. But I think it’s about time you and I had a very important conversation. I need to get something off my chest.”

  “About what?” Jovon asked.

  “I’ll tell you about it tonight. Damn, I work tonight,” she remembered. “Can you come over around eight or nine tomorrow night?”

  “Yeah, sure,” Jovon answered.

  “Okay,” she beamed vivaciously, “I’ll see you then.”

  Shanti walks off, but stops suddenly and turns back toward Jovon.

  “Hey, Jovon!” Jovon turns to face her. “It’s a conversation that’s long overdue.”

  “Okay,” he answered, smiling as he reads in between the lines.

  The two then proceed to part ways for the remainder of the day.

  Chapter 20

  DAY 30

  Jovon is in a local bar with Vinny and Lewis. The three are sitting at a booth table having a round of drinks.

  “Yo’ man, I’m starting to get nervous,” Jovon suddenly admitted out of the clear blue.

  “And you should be,” Vinny confirmed. “You have less than five hours before you’ll be forced to live out the rest of your life wearing adult diapers. I said it once and I’ll say it again, Shanti maybe the only chance you have outta this mess.”

  “A, man, I told you that diaper shit in confidence,” Jovon answered back.

  “Oh, my God!” Lewis said, rubbing his eyes in frustration.

  Jovon and Vinny both turn to Lewis and ask, “What?”

  Lewis points toward the bar’s entrance. When Vinny and Jovon set their sights to where Lewis pointed, they’re stunned to see Mike standing at the entrance wearing attire reminiscent to an outfit that A.C. Slater would’ve worn on Saved by the Bell. The outfit includes the Hammer pants, sunglasses, a tucked in short-sleeve button-up shirt and a pair of old school high-top Reeboks. Mike even has gone the extra mile and given himself an S-Curl hairstyle. Once Mike sets locates his best friends, he confidently saunters over to their table.

  As soon as Mike reaches their table he coolly removes his glasses. “I told y’all I was gonna do it. Y’all see how all these females checking me out?”

  Lewis abruptly bursts Mike’s bubble. “Fool, everybody up in here checking you out…And they’re not admiring you…They’re laughing at you dumbass. Can’t you hear that shit?”

  The sounds of laughter and people ridiculing Mike clothing can clearly be heard.

  Mike remains undaunted. “You see all you hearing is the haters. The only thing I can hear are the women who are clearly digging my shit.” Mike prepares to sit down.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa…What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Vinny asked, sliding further out the booth, preventing Mike from sitting down. “You’re not sitting with us looking like that. You better take yo’ crazy ass on with that shit.”

  Jovon turns to Vinny. “See that’s why I had that seminar today. Because people like you are always making fun of people who you perceive as not being on the same level as you. How are you gonna cast Mike out just because you’re not feeling his outfit?”

  “This is something totally different, alright?” Vinny claimed. “That seminar you had today was for ugly people who can’t help the fact that they’re ugly. But what he’s doing is just fucking retarded.”

  “Retarded?” Mike repeated.

  Vinny glares at Mike. “Yes…Retarded!” Vinny turns back to Jovon. “And as for you,
don’t criticize me for being the person you taught me to be. You’re letting that fat broad curse you right into a coerced epiphany…It’s all a bunch of bullshit if you ask me.”

  “I might’ve taught you a lot of negative things, but I was never as out of control as you are right now. Hell, if I treated y’all the way y’all are treating Mike, I would’ve never hung around none of you mothafuckas.”

  Lewis sets down his beer. “That’s a fucked up thing to say.”

  “I’m sorry,” Jovon said, “I didn’t mean for it to come out that harsh, but y’all know what I mean.”

  Vinny continues to try and get his point across. “All I’m saying is that it’s bad enough you’re sitting here scaring off all the chicks, but now this fool’s getting added to the pot, too…We’re gonna be getting pointed at and laughed about all night long.”

  “Yeah, whatever,” Jovon dismissed. “I need to get up out of here anyway. I’m supposed to be meeting Shanti at her house in an hour.”

  “Tell me again, J, why do you think it’s a bad idea to go to Shanti’s house?” Lewis asked.

  “Because what if she says she wants to be with me?”

  Mike squeezed in the booth, despite Vinny’s wishes. “Would that be a good thing,” Mike questioned. “If she falls for you the curse is broken, right?”

  “Yeah, but”—

  “But my ass,” Vinny interrupted. “Go over there, tell her you love her, let her tell you the same, do her and then have your ass ready to jump back on the hoe train by tomorrow night.”

  “That’s just it,” Jovon stated. “I don’t want to tell her I love her.”

  “Why not?” said Lewis. “I thought you was starting to fall for her?”

  “I am, but how do I know I’m not just fallen for her because I see her as my ticket back to normal lifestyle? She’s too good for that. If I tell her I love her I want it to be real—not out of desperation.”

  “You know living your life as a gremlin is making you soft. Whatever happened to making sure you put nobody before yourself?”

  Jovon smiles. “I grew up, Vin. I’ve learned how to put other people first.”

  Jovon gets up and begins walking heading for the exit. As he nears the door he hears a commotion stirring up behind him. He turns around and spots three very large men standing over his friend’s table. After a few seconds, he realizes that one of the men is the UFC fighter that attacked Vinny a few days ago. Suddenly, the UFC guy snatches Vinny up from the booth and holds him up by the collars of his shirt, while the other two men grab Mike and Vinny.

  Vinny looks over at Jovon and yells out. “We could use a little help over here, J!”

  Jovon looks at the door, then back at Vinny and then back at the door once more. The time is nearing nine o’clock and he really wants to make his date with Shanti.

  “Come on, J!” Vinny cried out, still within the grasp of the UFC fighter. “What the hell happened to putting other people first, you lying bastard?!”

  Jovon looks at his watch. The time reads 8:33.

  Jovon huffs, “Shit!” He then proceeds to take off his leather jacket and rush his way back over to friends.

  THREE HOURS LATER.

  Shanti is sitting on her couch when she hears someone knocking at her door. She gets up to answer it, leering through the peephole first in order to see who it is. Standing on the other side of her door is a bruised, bloodied and disheveled Jovon. Without further delay, she opens the door.

  “What happened to you?!” she asked, concerned.

  Jovon hobbles into Shanti’s house. “Vinny and the guys got into a slight altercation tonight. I had to join in.”

  “Why?” she asked. “Knowing Vinny, it was probably something he brought on himself.”

  “Oh, it was definitely something he brought on himself,” Jovon affirmed, “but I can’t just turn my back on my boys like that.”

  Shanti smiles. “You know I’m starting to like the new you. A month ago, you would’ve left them to get their asses kicked without giving it a second’s thought.”

  “I don’t think I was that ba…Well, maybe I was.”

  “Come on, in,” Shanti said, taking Jovon by the hand. “Let me clean you up.”

  Shanti escorts Jovon to the couch and then heads into her bathroom to grab the first aid kit. She reenters the living room carrying some cotton swaps and a bottle of antiseptic. She sits down beside Jovon and begins cleaning his wounds.

  “Sorry I’m late. I really wanted to be here on time. But after the fight was over, we had to run Mike to the emergency room. He fucked around and slipped on his on S-Curl juice and pulled a groin muscle. I tell you one thing, Hammer pants don’t give you no kind of protection when you slip and fall. Mike isn’t a flexible person, but when he slipped that fool went into a full-fledge split.”

  “So is it still a good time to talk to you? On a serious level?” Shanti added.

  “Sure. Now is just as good a time as any,” Jovon told her.

  Continuing to dap a cotton ball on a scrap above his cheek, Shanti says, “I don’t really know how to put this, so I’m just going to say it and you let me know what you think.” She sets the cotton ball down and stares Jovon right in the eyes. “J, I’ve had a crush on you ever since we were in high school. I just never said anything because you were always trying to mess with the popular girls. Then when we were in college, when you came into your own, it seemed like you didn’t even notice me. It’s been that way for years now. It seems that this is the closest we’ve been since we were kids and it’s because of that that I’m realizing how much I really love you.”

  “Wow,” Jovon replied. He had a feeling Shanti was going to divulge her love, but to actually hear the words overwhelms him. ‘It’s funny to hear you say that,” Jovon stated, “I’ve been with plenty of women and every time one of them would say they loved me it would be a complete and utter turnoff. But when I hear it come from you it feels right. I have feelings for you, too, Shanti…I just can’t tell you I love you…At least not until after midnight.”

  Shanti reveals her pearly-white teeth. “Jovon, if that’s all that’s keeping you from telling me you love me…You might as well go ahead and say the words now.”

  “Why you say that?” Jovon asked.

  “Because it’s already two minutes pass midnight. The deadline for your curse has come and gone.”

  Surprised, Jovon replies, “Really?” He checks his watch. “So that’s it, huh?” The gravity of the situation hits him softly. “I guess this’ll be my permanent look from here on out then. Are you sure you still want me?”

  “I do,” Shanti told him with the upmost sincerity.

  “I love you, Shanti,” Jovon finally confessed. Moving in close for a kiss, he playfully repeats, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

  As the two begin kissing, Jovon suddenly pulls back.

  “Wait.”

  Puzzled, Shanti asks, “What’s wrong?”

  “We can’t do this.”

  “But I want to,” she smiled.

  “Yeah, I do, too, but unless you got some Viagra in your medicine cabinet, I seriously doubt this is going to happen tonight,” he shamefully admitted.

  Shanti laughs. “You just leave that up to me,” she said, pulling Jovon towards her. “I’ll find away to get you going.”

  Jovon smirks as their lips draw near. “Oh my.”

  Chapter 21

  The next morning, Jovon is fast asleep in Shanti’s bed, completely buried underneath the covers. Shanti walks into the room wearing a silk bathrobe, carrying a tray full of food.

  “Rise and shine, sleepy head,” she said in a soft, delightful voice.

  Jovon slowly wakes up.

  “Come on, J, I know you’re not still tired from last night.”

  As Jovon sits up, he starts to stretch and yawn. “Hell yeah, I’m still tired. I didn’t know you had that much freak in you.”

  As Jovon rises up from under the sheets, Shanti is shock
ed by what she sees. “Oh my God!” she gasped.

  “What?!” Jovon instantly panicked.