Alice's Nightmare In Wonderland

by Jonathan Green

  Alice’s adventure ends here but her nightmare is only just beginning as the vampiric knights begins to feast…

  THE END

  478

  Following the footpath, Alice comes to a clearing between the toadstool trees. Lying within it is a log that has been left hollow by rot. Being a naturally inquisitive child, Alice wonders what she might find inside.

  If you want Alice to take a look, turn to 498. If not, turn to 488.

  479

  An eerie feeling comes over Alice as she explores the outer ward of the castle, as if a thousand eyes are fixed upon her. And yet, when she looks round, she sees nothing but the castle’s petrified defenders.

  In the far corner of the courtyard, at the base of a corner tower, Alice stumbles across all that is left of a huge broken egg.

  “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall: Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the King’s horses and all the King’s men, couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty in his place again,” Alice finds herself chanting under her breath.

  The fractured shell is twice as tall as she is and it is empty. Alice can only wonder at what hatched from the enormous egg.

  Deciding it best not to linger within the inner ward of the castle any longer, in case whatever hatched from the egg returns unexpectedly, she makes for the steps that lead to the entrance to the keep.

  Turn to 447.

  480

  It is not long before Alice reaches another right-angled turn in the leafy labyrinth. Should she go south (turn to 272) or east (turn to 470)?

  481

  No matter how hard she imagines the narrative of her story could differ from the path it seems set upon now, the Tiger continues to prowl towards the child, and there is nothing she can do to stop it. It would appear that this is one battle Alice is going to have to have to face up to.

  Cross off one The Pen is Mightier box from Alice’s Adventure Sheet and turn to 492.

  482

  Opening the door Alice enters what can only be described as a small boudoir. Resting on a stand on a dressing table, in front of a mirror, is a grand, powdered wig, like something out of the history books her Governess made her read about the French Revolution.

  The child can’t help but lift the wig from its stand and try it on, imagining that she is Marie Antoinette as she regards herself in the mirror. (If you want Alice to keep the Wig on, make a note of it on Alice’s Adventure Sheet.)

  There is nothing else for Alice here so she eventually has to leave the boudoir through the same door she entered by.

  Turn to 502.

  483

  The handle turns, the door swings open, and stepping over the threshold Alice finds herself in the cool shade of a tiled entrance hall. Doors lead off from the hall ahead of her and to her left.

  For Alice to try the door in front of her, turn to 166. For Alice to open the door to her left, turn to 494.

  484

  Alice feels exhausted after her battle with the Red Knight, but she has been victorious nonetheless.

  If Alice previously solved a chess puzzle, double the answer to that puzzle and then subtract it from this paragraph, ultimately turning to the new paragraph.

  If Alice has not previously comes across, or solved, such a puzzle, turn to 302.

  485

  Alice’s mind can barely comprehend what is happening to her, and with the appearance of the Spinebacks her spiralling descent into madness only worsens.

  Add 1 to Alice’s Insanity score and turn to 28.

  486

  As the Red Queen’s stare bores into her soul, Alice finds herself pacing across the throne room as if sleep-walking, a part of her screaming at her to break eye-contact with the blood-sucking leech and save herself.

  “Now then, my dear,” says the Red Queen, smiling languidly, “I know what you’d like.”

  It is then that Alice hears a voice carried as if from far, far away on a zephyr from a land beyond the borders of Wonderland: “Wake up, Alice dear!”

  And as the Red Queen opens her mouth wide, to sink snake-like fangs into the child’s neck, Alice succeeds at last in breaking free of the Red Queen’s spell, and readies herself to fight back against the murderous witch.

  “Very well!” hisses the harridan. “After all, it is better to be feared than loved.”

  If you think Alice should use The Pen is Mightier ability now, turn to 506. If not, turn to 496.

  487

  As Alice stands there, studying the inscription around the tomb, hearing the footsteps on the stairs coming closer with every passing second, she can’t shake the thought that the stone soldiers in the courtyard reminded her of nothing more than chessmen…

  If you think you know the answer to the riddle, convert the word into numbers using the code A=1, B=2… Z=26. Add the numbers together, and then turn to the paragraph with the same number as the total.

  If upon reading the paragraph you turn to it makes no sense (meaning you have got the answer wrong) or you are unable to solve the riddle in the first place, turn to 477.

  488

  Leaving the clearing by a path on the other side, Alice soon finds herself emerging from the towering toadstools and leaving the forest of fungi.

  She is standing at the top of a steep slope. Below her, at the bottom of the incline, to the north, on the other side of a rickety fence, she can see a curious house, with chimneys shaped like ears and its roof apparently thatched with fur. To the north-west there stands a grand house built in the Palladian style. Beyond the cottage Alice can see the towering yew hedge walls of a maze that appears to cover acres of ground.

  In which direction should Alice go now? To head towards the grand house, turn to 319. To make for the fur-thatched cottage, turn to 216.

  489

  Alice sails over the creatures and lands on the path behind them. Not waiting to judge their reaction, she races off again through the swamp. Turn to 286.

  490

  Alice soon comes to another branching of the ways in the yew-hedge maze, but which way should she go?

  North? Turn to 430.

  East? Turn to 134.

  West? Turn to 413.

  491

  Without a second thought, Alice gulps down the potion and, as she rapidly starts to shrink, leaps onto the back of the wasp. Grabbing hold of its antennae, Alice steers the insect back through the tulgey wood to the glade in which stands the mirror portal. And she arrives only just in time, for upon reaching the clearing, she starts to grow again.

  Returning to her normal size, she steps up to the looking-glass. Alice closes her eyes and takes a step forward, the glass becoming a silvery mist before her as she does so. And then she is back in the palace… but the Red Queen is waiting for her.

  Turn to 41.

  492

  It may only be a Paper Tiger but the cat’s card claws still look like they could cause Alice a nasty paper-cut. (Before you begin the battle, make a note of Alice’s current Endurance score. Alice has the initiative.)

  PAPER TIGER COMBAT 8 ENDURANCE 8

  If Alice is using a Pair of Scissors to fight the Paper Tiger, for every successful hit she makes against it, as well as causing 2 Endurance points damage, you can also deduct 1 from the Tiger’s Combat score.

  If Alice is victorious, turn to 517, but if the Tiger wins the battle, turn to 507.

  493

  Alice hurls the bottle of brown liquid at the gardeners but misses all three of them. The flask hits the roots of the rose-tree and smashes, splashing the strong-smelling liquid compost over the plant’s roots. The effects are almost instantaneous.

  Cross Bloom’s Patent Plant Provender off Alice’s Adventure Sheet and turn to 308.

  494

  Passing through the door, Alice makes the transition from the tiled hall into a dusty, darkened room filled with glass cases containing displays of stuffed birds, animals and fish. They remind Alice of the collections at the University Museum of Natural History.

  The drapes have been drawn a
cross the window, allowing only a sliver of sunlight to enter the room, which illuminates the golden motes of dust spinning in the shaft of light, and the room’s prize specimen, mounted on a perch of Madagascan rosewood, and, like the other specimens, behind glass.

  It is a plump bird covered in bright blue-grey pigeon-like plumage. It has a tuft of tail feathers, short stout legs with bright yellow feet, and a large hooked bill, coloured from black through to green.

  On the other side of the room is another door, this one a fine example of walnut-panelling.

  If you want Alice to go through this door, turn to 516. If you want her to examine the Dodo close-up first, turn to 505.

  495

  “Capital! Capital!” the Bellman exclaims. Taking out a most curious map – it appears to have nothing drawn on it at all – the Captain of the Snark-Hunter sets about plotting a course.

  “What’s the good of Mercator’s North Poles and Equators, Tropics, Zones, and Meridian Lines?” the Bellman cries, to which the crew reply, “They are merely conventional signs! Other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes! But we’ve got our brave Captain to thank,” so the crew does protest, “that he’s bought us the best – a perfect and absolute blank!”

  This is charming, no doubt, but they shortly find out that the Captain they’ve trusted so well, has only one notion for crossing the ocean, and that is to tingle his bell.

  He is thoughtful and grave, but his orders, so brave, are enough to bewilder the crew. When he cries “Steer to starboard, but keep her head larboard!” what on earth is the helmsman to do?

  But somehow they make it to their destination, a dark and gloomy island, and make land, unloading their boxes, portmanteaus and bags.

  “Just the place for a Snark!” the Bellman cries. “You’d best be unpacking the things that you need to rig yourselves out for a fight,” he tells the others.

  Alice watches as the merry band busy themselves preparing for the quest ahead. When they are ready, they all set out in different directions, leaving Alice quite alone on the shore of this strange and sinister island. Seeing that she has little other choice, steeling herself, Alice sets off towards the island’s interior.

  Before very long, she finds herself negotiating the treacherous pathways of a terribly tangled forest. The grey-black trunks of the trees are contorted into shapes that speak of torment and pain, their branches clung with moss and snaking creepers. The air is redolent with the aroma of a compost heap and a sour yellow mist hangs in the air. Beads of moisture condense on Alice’s skin, sucking the warmth from her body. Strange animal hoots and shrieks echo between the trees and have Alice looking all about her, wondering from where the next threat to her life might come.

  “Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!” Alice mutters under her breath. “Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch!”

  And then the strange sounds of the forest are silenced by a blood-curdling howl that cuts through the tulgey wood, threatening to send an already anxious Alice over the edge.

  Take an Insanity test and if Alice passes, turn to 367. If she fails the test, turn to 347.

  496

  The fiend-like queen’s beautiful countenance twists into an ophidian hiss as the vampiric Red Queen launches herself at Alice, intent on drink her blood and sucking her very soul from her body. (The Red Queen has the initiative.)

  RED QUEEN COMBAT 11 ENDURANCE 12

  If the Red Queen wins three consecutive Combat Rounds, she bites Alice’s neck, draining an additional 2 Endurance points and 1 Combat point from the poor child. If Alice defeats the vampire, turn to 398. If not, her adventure ends here, as a bloody prize for the usurper of the throne of Wonderland.

  497

  This riddle is taxing indeed. Nonetheless, if you think you know the answer convert the word into numbers using the code A=1, B=2… Z=26. Add the numbers together, and then turn to the paragraph with the same number as the total.

  If upon reading the paragraph you turn to it makes no sense (meaning you have got the answer wrong) or you are unable to solve the riddle at all, turn to 477.

  498

  Fascinated by what might have made the log its home, Alice bends down and peers inside. She jumps back again when she comes face to face with a larger than life Stag Beetle. Now aware of Alice’s presence, and clearly considering her a potential meal, the beetle scuttles towards her, its huge jaws snapping in anticipation of devouring the wretched child.

  Alice is either going to have to defend herself, once again (turn to 508), or she will have to use The Pen is Mightier ability to save herself, if she can (turn to 518).

  499

  The Slithy Toves try to snare Alice with their sticky tongues, bite her with their needle-sharp teeth, and claw her with their strange corkscrew talons. Manoeuvring herself cunningly upon the narrow path, she is able to make sure that she only has to fight them one at a time. (Alice has the initiative.)

  COMBAT ENDURANCE

  First SLITHY TOVE 6 6

  Second SLITHY TOVE 6 5

  If Alice slays the creatures, she hurries off again through the swamp. Turn to 286.

  500

  Having given herself over to her bloodlust completely, the Red Queen starts to transform. Shedding her royal robes and her human skin, the vampire takes on the form of a monstrous blood-red serpent-woman. Hissing like a cobra, her sinuous body writhing with an almost hypnotic rhythm, the Gorgon strikes! (The Gorgon has the initiative in this battle.)

  GORGON COMBAT 12 ENDURANCE 14

  If Alice somehow manages to slay the transformed Red Queen, turn to 125.

  501

  Before anything untoward can befall her, Alice flees, running pell-mell through the tulgey wood, until she sees the battlements of an ancient fortress looming over the tops of the sickly trees.

  Turn to 512.

  502

  Leaving the hall she enters a long passageway that ends at a closed door. From beyond this door come the sounds of crying and screaming and a lot of sneezing. Every now and again, this cacophony is accompanied by a tremendous crash, as if a dish or kettle has been broken. Halfway down the corridor another door leads off to the left.

  Should Alice make her way to the door at the end of the passageway (turn to 454), open the door halfway down the corridor first (turn to 239), or turn back and leave the house (turn to 249)?

  503

  The gardeners run at Alice, dropping their paintbrushes and arming themselves with spade-shaped trowels and garden shears.

  If Alice is still able to use The Pen is Mightier power, and you want her to now, turn to 13. If Alice can still use the Curiouser and Curiouser ability, and you want her to use that instead, turn to 308. If she is unable to use either of these abilities, or you do not want her to, turn to 26.

  504

  Feeling a shiver of fear raising the hairs at the nape of her neck, Alice quickly closes the book, hoping that this will dispel the apparition. But the spectre remains there in the corner of the library.

  As Alice watches, the ghost’s mouth drops openly impossible wide and its features become the fleshless visage of a skull, as a blood-curdling scream rises from its fleshless throat.

  Books start to fly off the shelves, battering Alice. (Lose 2 Endurance points and add 1 to Alice’s Insanity score.)

  What should Alice do now?

  Flee from the haunted library? Turn to 464.

  Try to drive the Ghost away? Turn to 474.

  505

  With a leathery creak the bird turns its glass-eyed stare on the child. “Ah, Alice, it is good to see you again.”

  “Again?” Alice says, in consternation.

  “You mean you don’t remember?” the Dodo says, crestfallen.

  “I am quite sure that if I had a met such a curious bird before I would be able to recall the occasion,” says the child, primly. “What I mean to say is that you are, quite clearly, a Dodo–”

  “Yes,
that’s right, a flightless bird of the pigeon family endemic to the island of Mauritius.”

  “–and seeing as how you are extinct, our meeting would have surely made an indelible mark upon my memory.

  “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear,” mutters the bird. “A classic case of somnia-related amnesia. But then I suppose it was some time ago.”

  “What was?” asks Alice.

  “Our meeting,” replies the Dodo. “But never mind that now. Let us start again. Raphus Cucullatus at your service” – and then adds, almost as an aside – “but my friends call me Raph.”

  “Pleased to meet you,” Alice says offering the bird her hand – but not feeling it proper to call the Dodo by his first name – the Dodo offering her his wing in return.

  “Time is short and on the path ahead you will meet all manner of menaces.”

  “What do you mean?” says Alice, unnerved by the Dodo’s words.

  “The Queen of Hearts has issued a decree that if you return to Wonderland you are to be killed or captured, and taken to her palace in chains. But the truth of the matter is that now you are here you must enter her palace, unseen, and put an end to Her Majesty before she can put an end to you.”

  “But why does it have to be me?” Alice asks, baulking at the enormity of the task that has been set before her.