Don't Explain

by Audrey Dacey

“It's beautiful out here,” he said, entranced by the landscape. “It's a lot different than the west. I can see why you wanted to come back here.”

  “I ended up here because I was too afraid to try anything new. Arizona was more trouble than it was worth to me,” she admitted. “I do like it here, though. It is a part of me that I can't seem to let go of. Unless my mother drives me away, I doubt that I will ever leave for an extended period of time again.”

  “How is Cat?”

  “She’s a pain in the ass.”

  Michael laughed. Caitlyn had only introduced him to her mother and father once during Family Weekend the fall of their freshman year. It was exactly long enough for Cat to insult Michael on everything from his hair to his choice of major, and her mother didn’t dislike him. That didn’t happen until Michael didn’t come to Caitlyn’s father’s funeral in the fall of their junior year. He wanted to go, but his teachers were less accommodating than Caitlyn’s, and one threatened to fail him if he didn’t show up for class. The fact that Caitlyn’s best friend didn’t show up to her father’s funeral was not acceptable to Catherine Murphy.

  Michael stared out at the skyline. “I could see not leaving here.” He paused. “I don't know if this vacation is going to cut it. I feel like I need something new. Some place relaxing.” His revelation startled Caitlyn. She had always seen Michael as a hustle-and-bustle type who took brief retreats in nature.

  “I don't see you moving here. You’re in your element in Sacramento. I don't think you could give that up so quickly,” she admitted frankly.

  “So you are trying to get rid of me. I thought you might be after last night. I'll go away on my own. You don't have to push me down the mountain.” He flashed a smile that showed that he was joking, but it had apologetic undertones.

  “Last night you were overloaded by what was going on in your life. We had a moment of faux intimacy. A rebound kiss. It isn't anything that should prevent us from being friends. It just shows what good friends we are.” She shook her head knowing that what she had just said sounded incredibly childish and was a half lie. She let out a brief, breathy laugh. She was unsure of why she had just passed off one of the most anticipated and intimate moments of her life as proof of their platonic friendship. A friendship, she remembered, proven unable to withstand time and distance. After a few moments she asked, “You ready to head back down the hill?”

  “Let's do it.” He half hid a smile. They walked their trash over to the nearest receptacle, and then headed to the trail. The walk down was as quiet as the walk up, but the overall mood was lighter.

  They had travelled for a mile in peace when Caitlyn placed her foot on a loose rock. She lost her balance and swung her arms in circles to try and regain her footing, but she failed. Her butt hit the cold, hard ground with a thud. The leaves slipped all around her and she slid down the incline of the mountain past Michael. Her right foot jammed against a boulder, and it bent upward slightly.

  Caitlyn yelped in pain, closed her eyes, and scrunched her nose. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again. Michael rushed down to her and knelt beside her, asking questions that she couldn't hear through the screaming pain. She slowly lifted her hands and looked at them; they were scraped from fingertip to wrist and filled with dark soil from dragging her hands behind her as she skidded down the mountain. Tears began pooling in the corners of her eyes. She looked at Michael and breathily whispered, “I'm okay.” If she talked any louder she would have broken down crying.

  She lifted herself off the ground, grimacing. Her hands stung as they dug into the ground. The moment she placed weight on her right foot she fell limply. Michael caught hold of her left elbow to keep her from hitting the earth. She leaned against the boulder that had twisted her foot and let out a pained sigh. A tear glided down her left cheek, another immediately followed on the right. She looked to the sky hoping to hold back the rest.

  Michael put his hand under her elbows and across her back and lifted her at her knees. He cautiously carried her to large, flat-topped rock nearby and placed her on top. He dropped to one knee beside her and began unlacing her right boot, but she protested, “I'm okay. I just need a minute.”

  He looked at her incredulously and continued to work. He placed her foot on his raised knee and looked at it intently. “I think it is just sprained, but I want to splint it anyway.”

  He put her sock back on and grabbed a nearby stick. He looked through his pack, and with Caitlyn's permission, her pack, but failed to find anything to tie the ankle. He then took off his jacket, his sweatshirt, and finally his white undershirt.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, trying not to stare.

  “Making a splint,” he answered as he tore the undershirt into two pieces. He tied the stick to her leg with the scraps of fabric.

  She stared at his bare chest. She was tempted to reach out and run her fingers along the curves of his well-defined pecs, arms, and stomach, but she barely managed to restrain herself. “This is really unnecessary,” she commented dazedly.

  “Only if you want to hurt it further,” he replied. He finished with her ankle and placed her boot in his pack; he put his sweatshirt back on and grabbed the packs, slinging them both over his right shoulder. “Can you walk, or should I carry you?”

  “I think I can make it. Thank you.”

  “I'll check your ankle again when we get back to lodge to make sure that it is just a sprain. We may have to take you to the emergency room.”

  She was happy to be out of the spotlight for the moment and could not stand to be coddled by him any longer. Despite the immense throbbing in her ankle, his attention was sending arousing tingles through the rest of her body, and she felt herself becoming impulsive.

  The trip managed to cool her off. Caitlyn hobbled down the side of the mountain; she cringed in pain every once and a while, and for the majority of the trip Michael had to support her. Her face was flushed from the exertion and a little from embarrassment. She cursed herself for suggesting this trip; she thought it would be relaxing, but now she was more stressed out than before. She would really hate a trip to the emergency room, and she didn't want to inconvenience Michael any more than she already had. He wanted a vacation, and she had made him work. The worry on her face was showing and Michael noticed. “You shouldn't worry so much. Large amounts of stress can cause a number of health problems. Many a lot worse than a sprained ankle.”

  “I've absolutely ruined your vacation.”

  He stopped, and since he was supporting her, she was forced to stop too. He looked her straight in the eyes and said, “It wasn’t a vacation until I ran into you.”

  Caitlyn stood in silence. The warm feeling started to arise in her again. She tried to calm her mind, but the look in his eyes prevented any pure thoughts. He ran his fingers through her hair, brushing it away from her face. He traced the side of her face from her temple to her chin with the side of his finger and held her chin in his hand. He slowly leaned down and kissed her, at first gently and then deeply. Caitlyn relaxed and kissed him back. For a moment they caressed one another’s lips, and then Michael pulled away and looked down at her and said, “It wasn't faux intimacy.” He kissed her once again, but this time quickly and nonchalantly, and then slipped his arm around Caitlyn’s waist, guiding her down the path as she staggered beside him.

  Thousands of questions raced through Caitlyn's mind, but she dared not ask them. She chose not to spoil this moment as she had the evening before, and despite the pain in her ankle, she considered the recent moments as some of the best of her life.

  When they reached the lodge, Michael looked at Caitlyn's ankle and determined that his original diagnosis had been correct. He removed the makeshift splint and looked at her with a serious expression.

  “It looks like I am going to have to stick around for a while to nurse you back to health.”

  “Don't be ridiculous. It's just a sprain. I can deal. Besides I thought you were a doctor not a nurse.”
/>   “And if I want to stay but am using your ankle as an innocent excuse?” he questioned.

  “I guess I could use a little help,” she replied shyly.

  “Let's get you home. You need to rest your leg for a while.”

  #

  When they arrived at Caitlyn's, she remembered that her house was incredibly messy. This was partly due to the day before when she was looking for the perfect outfit for dinner, but she had recently become lackadaisical when it came to cleaning her personal space. It was part of her scheme to keep men away. She was mortified, but she soon came to the realization that Michael didn't notice the mess at all. He had carried her from the car to her couch, wrapped her ankle in an elastic bandage, started a small fire in the stone fireplace, and set off to the kitchen. He was engrossed in his task and was oblivious to anything else. He poked around her refrigerator and then rummaged through the cabinets until he found suitable items. He began sautéing something; the burn of onions, peppers, and spices soon filled the air.

  While he was cooking, Caitlyn changed out of her hiking clothes and into a long, baggy, cream-colored sweater that stopped mid-thigh. The seam of her navy blue cheer shorts was barely visible at the bottom, drawing attention to her long, smooth legs.

  She limped around the living room as she attempted to clean up a bit, but eventually gave up and lay on the couch. She began reading a novel. Her glasses were perched at the end of her nose and her legs playfully draped over the arm of the couch. The rest of her body was propped up by pillows.

  Within fifteen minutes Michael walked out of the kitchen carrying two plates stacked with chicken fajitas. When he saw Caitlyn on the couch, he had to stop and catch his breath. His eyes crawled from her toes all the way up her bare, milky legs to the point where the sweater rested on her upper thigh. He could see her creamy skin peeking through the knitting. He had a strong urge to put the food back in the kitchen and run his hand along the curves of her body. He wanted to throw the sweater aside and reveal all to his sight. Blood rushed through him until his resistance was wasted, and he was undoubtedly aroused.

  Caitlyn sat up and flung her legs to a normal sitting position when she noticed Michael standing in the doorway. He made his way over to the couch and set the plates on the coffee table in front of them. She clapped her hands excitedly and grabbed her plate. “This looks delicious. How did you make something so quickly? I can't wait to eat.” She was rambling, but he didn't notice. He hadn't even realized that she asked him a question. He was too focused on the inviting movements of her body.

  He went back to the kitchen, and when he came back, he had a bottle of merlot and two glasses. Caitlyn ate quickly, not realizing how hungry she had been, but she made sure to savor the wine. Michael ate slowly and distractedly. He was no longer interested in dinner.

  The fire crackled nearby as the flames reached pockets of sap in the logs. Caitlyn thanked Michael for the dinner and placed her plate on the coffee table. As he mimicked her movement, she laid her head on the arm of the couch and closed her eyes.

  He looked at her longingly. He could not restrain himself anymore and leaned in. He raised his hand and brushed his fingers through her long, silky hair. Grabbing the back of her head, he pulled her close to him. She could taste the tannins of the wine on his lips as he kissed her hard. Caitlyn kissed him back softly, and he quickly followed her lead. Shivers went up and down her spine as he grazed the nape of her neck with his fingers. For a moment, she pulled away and looked him in the eyes. “Michael,” she started to protest. She wanted this, but not if it was only to satisfy his lust or distract him from his heartache. But lust was not in his eyes—passion was. Caitlyn felt a tingling as she placed her lips on his again.

  He laid her head back on the arm and carefully positioned himself so that he was lying next to her. His rough stubble rubbed against her soft skin as he breathed softly into her ear. She let out a soft moan as his right hand slid to her bare thigh, and he began running his fingers over it gently.

  Michael's fervor became apparent when he placed his hand on her side, just underneath her sweater and pulled her tight against him. She could feel his muscles through his shirt as she grabbed hold of him. The warm skin of her stomach felt his cool, rough hand gliding up towards her breasts; she held her breath in anticipation, but before he reached her chest his hand slid back down her side. Caitlyn yearned for more.

  Caitlyn tugged off her sweater and threw it on the floor. She lay before Michael in a white bra with a pink ribbon lining the cup and a bow between her breasts, and her little shorts. Michael sat up and stared at his reward while Caitlyn attempted to look her best in a nonchalant way. He slowly lowered the straps from her shoulders and kissed her neckline. He slipped his fingers into the bands of her shorts and panties, and slowly pushed them off her hips. Shuddering in a deep breath, Caitlyn let Michael completely expose her body to him. Lying before him felt strange, but she did not complain. Instead, she began undressing him. She pulled his naked body against hers and rose into him with the feel of their bare skin touching. Her center throbbed with desire for him. Both let out a gasp of relief as he plunged into her soft, wet folds.

  The tingling in Caitlyn's body immediately turned to a bursting warmth. She dug her fingers into his strong back and tenderly bit his shoulder to keep from crying out with passion as he pushed into her over and over. Michael lifted himself on his arms, hovering over her, and looked into her eyes. Caitlyn felt the rush up her torso and through her limbs. She cried out as he covered her mouth with his.

  She wrapped her legs around his back and pulled him more forcefully into her as she pulsated around his shaft. He kept pushing into her, and she could barely stand the overwhelming sensation coursing through her veins.

  “Michael.”

  “It’ll be okay. You can do it. Just hang on a little longer for me.”

  “But I…”

  “Shh…One more time. You can do it one more time.”

  He slowed his movements and glided into her smoothly. Teasing her, slowing her breath. He stared down into her eyes. “You ready now.”

  Caitlyn nodded, and he pushed harder and faster against her. Her sense heightened again and they felt the surge of euphoria rush through their bodies.

  Caitlyn breathed heavily as she lifted herself off of Michael. Her body tingled all over and aftershocks radiated through her body. Any touch was nearly unbearable and caused her to laugh uncontrollably.

  She tried to get up to pull herself together, but the weight on her foot made her sit down right next to Michael. He caressed her shoulder, and she was finally able to hold back her giggles.

  “Where do you think you're going?” he inquired.

  She smiled at him innocently. “I was going to go put myself back together.”

  “Don't,” he commanded still eyeing her hungrily. “You've never looked more gorgeous.”

  She shied away from him, embarrassed. “I could certainly fix this.” She waved her hands over her head to point to the sex hair she had acquired.

  He pulled her close to him. “Why?” he whispered. “I'm just going to undo all your work in a couple of minutes anyway.”

  CHAPTER 5

  Caitlyn opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. Please, no, she thought to herself. She squeezed her eyes closed tightly and turned her head to the left. If she was lucky, she dreamed the last two days, and she was incredibly late for work. She forced her eyes open, and Michael lay next her, sleeping.

  “”What have I done?” She dragged her palms across her face. Caitlyn knew exactly why she had stopped him that first night. It was this sinking feeling in her gut. The one that she never really wanted to feel again. The one that threatened to make her vomit, but also the one she—somewhere deep down—craved.

  “Are you okay?”

  She looked over at Michael. “Fine, but I need a shower. You keep sleeping if you want.”

  “Can I join you?”

  She’d better stop this now. “
My shower’s pretty tiny. It’ll be better if we take turns.”

  Caitlyn grabbed the small blanket that she kept on top of a chest at the end of her bed and wrapped it around herself.

  “There’s no reason to be modest,” Michael teased.

  Caitlyn laughed but secured the blanket around herself as best she could and tiptoed across the cold floor to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She turned on the water and immediately stepped in, not waiting for the water to warm up.

  The threat of falling in love with Michael again was too strong. There was still time to undo what they had done all night, but she had to figure out a way to get rid of him—quickly, while she was acting like a rational human being and not some horny Neanderthal.

  For a moment Caitlyn considered calling Alexis over and having her work her lust magic on him, whisking him away to some sanctuary of pleasure until he was ready to go back to Sacramento.

  The thought made Caitlyn feel a little sicker. She and Alexis shared a lot, but that was going a little too far. Probably even for Alexis. Probably.

  Unfortunately, her only alternative plan was to give him the cold shoulder and ignore him for the remainder of his stay in Massachusetts. But Michael was not easy to ignore, especially when he didn’t want to be ignored. She was left only with her will, which was weak at best.

  Caitlyn took her time in the shower and bathroom in an attempt to avoid what was to come. Maybe he’d even be gone by the time she was done, but when she peeked her head out of the bathroom, he was still lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling.

  He turned his head to look at her and smiled. “Want to go shopping with me?”

  Caitlyn tried not to melt under his smile. “What?”

  “I need some clothes. I didn’t pack much.”

  “I don’t think I can. Sorry.” Caitlyn walked across the room in a towel to her closet and began the search for something really unsexy. She didn’t find the search too difficult and settled on a pair of jeans and a Patriots jersey.