No Holding Back

by Dresden, Amanda

  Chris slumped her shoulders. “C’mon, Wade. I’m serious.”

  Wade closed in on her even more and exhaled forever through his nose. She was right though. He had had no idea how his older brother would take the news. He was just glad that Os no longer had a hand over him. But when it came right down to it, he really didn’t give a damn.

  “Look, just let me worry about Os. He’ll get over it just like everything else.”

  “Yeah. That’s what worries me.”

  Wade chuckled but then narrowed his eyes. “I’ll deal with him later. You have other things to worry about.”

  He shot her an evil look which startled Chris.

  “Huh? Like what?”

  Just then, Wade brought his head down like a predatory animal. “Like getting your ass into that bed.”

  Chris’ eyes widened in equal fear and excitement.

  “Again?! You do realize I’m sore as hell, right?” she pleaded, but Wade didn’t appear to have heard her.

  “I’ll count down from five.”

  He pressed her up against the wall putting his mouth over hers, searching for her tongue but letting up only to say, “Five.”

  “What? Wade, c’mon!”

  Chris giggled and pranced in her spot before Wade pressed into her again.

  “Four.”

  “Ahh!!”

  She broke free and raced to the bed, comforter and all, and fell onto it trying desperately to hide herself beneath the blankets.

  “THREE-TWO-ONE!!”

  She screamed and laughed at the same time as Wade hopped up onto the bed and proceeded to tickle the writhing mound. When he found an opening through all of it, he went inside to join her.

  As Wade lay in bed and continued cradling Chris in his arms, he couldn’t stop staring at her. Or her hands for that matter.

  As Chris was lost in dreams, Wade held one of them and began strumming her fingers across his face. Then he’d stop, stare at it, and do it again. He had a hard time convincing himself that these hands - these delicate tendrils of flesh and bone - were capable of holding millions in rapture. But her latest audience, Wade thought, was giving him the worst case of butterflies he had ever known.

  Of course he’d had women in bed before and plenty of them. But none of them were like Chris. None of them captured his attention with a foothold in both worlds that he desired; drop-dead gorgeous with talents that easily rivaled his own. He knew Chris was into music as much if not more so than Wade. She was a woman with passion.

  Wade rose carefully from the bed, so as not to disturb Chris, and picked up the phone to dial the small restaurant downstairs. He knew they both hadn’t eaten anything in a while and now his stomach was gnawing at him.

  “And could you deliver that to room 226 please?”

  “Certainly, sir. And would you like anything else with your order?”

  Wade looked over at Chris who never once stirred. He laughed softly when he thought of something.

  “Yeah. Fries.”

  As the hung up the phone, his stomach growled at him again, but he’d have at least twenty minutes to kill before the food arrived. So he used the time shave and shower up. But even after he emerged from the steam-filled bathroom, Chris was still out cold.

  He shook his head wondering how the hell he was going to keep his eyes or his hands off her as they toured.

  After Wade discarded his damp towel on the floor, he put his pants on and crawled back into bed with Chris. He despised the fact that in a few hours they’d all have to hit the road again. Wade knew that his personal time with Chris would be over soon and that meant she’d have to go back being a guy.

  He sighed in frustration. It took him his whole life to find a girl like her and now, he’d have to put her back into hiding. But for the time being, Wade put it out of his mind.

  Just then, perhaps out of boredom, Wade gently stroked Chris’ nose. She stirred slightly in response, but then scratched her nose and went back to sleeping. Next, he took his index finger and stroked the side of her cheek and this time, Chris buried her face in the pillows.

  But then, a devilish grin stole across Wade’s face when he suddenly lifted the covers, exposing Chris’ nudity, and planted a fierce smack across her butt cheek.

  “Tsss! Owww!” she cried. “What the hell do you think yer doin’!?”

  Chris awoke, painfully alert, and rubbed her tender backside as she got up and threw a few weak punches at Wade.

  “You gonna sleep all day or what!?” he teased.

  Chris tried reaching for the blankets, but Wade was stronger and kept them just out of reach. She was a little embarrassed when she realized she was fighting with him in the nude, but he only kept laughing at her.

  “We gotta leave soon and you’re passed out cold! You should hear yourself snore!”

  “Liar!”

  Mortified and fed up with Wade’s teasing, she grabbed what clean clothes she could find all while he continually tried to smack her butt.

  “Will you stop already!? I’m going to take a shower!”

  “Yeah, you do that! You’re ripe as hell!”

  He tried to slap her one last time, but he missed just as Chris retreated behind the safety of the bathroom door and locked it.

  “Hey, I got food on the way! It should be here soon!” he yelled, but she didn’t respond.

  But then, three soft knocks came at the door.

  “Oh, well shit.”

  Wade opened the door quickly wanting nothing more than to devour his burger, but it wasn’t room service.

  “Hey…Os.”

  Caught off guard by his brother’s surprise visit, he rubbed the back of his neck a little too roughly while Os just stood there with a shit-eating grin.

  “How’s it goin’?” he asked under a thick veil of sarcasm. “I uh…tried knocking on your door, but you didn’t answer.”

  “Obviously. What’s up?” Wade answered tritely. After all, he was in no mood for games.

  “Oh, not much. Just wanted to let you know that Pete is back with the bus. She’s all cleaned up.”

  “Okay. Earlier than I expected. Go out and tell him to hang loose for a bit, wouldja? There are a few things I wanna wrap up here.”

  Os didn’t move but allowed his eyes to fall upon the bathroom door. Chris’ running water from the shower could be heard clearly. Just then, he smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

  “Sure. No problem.”

  Nothing about Os’ attitude set well with Wade as his brother turned and walked down the hallway. He narrowed his eyes a bit and wondered just what the hell was going on inside his of brother’s head. It wasn’t as if Os liked Chris anyway, so what would he have cared what happened, Wade asked himself. But more importantly, he was surprised that Os didn’t take the opportunity to get in a few shots.

  Regardless, he shook his head of it and was getting ready to close the door when the hotel employee showed up with his lunch order.

  “Great. Hey thanks, man. Here you go.”

  After he handed Wade his food, he paid the kid with more than enough for a tip. His eyes lit up at the large bills while he walked out of sight.

  Wade closed the door and ripped open the container that held his loaded cheeseburger. He ate ravenously while he attempted to locate the rest of the clothes on the floor. And just as he finished off the rest of his dinner, Chris emerged from the bathroom in nothing more than a towel. Wade stopped mid-chew, unable to take his eyes of her long, glistening legs.

  “You better hurry up and put something on,” he said with a full mouth.

  She turned her nose up and bent over, drying her hair off with another towel.

  “Why? We leaving soon?”

  Wade shot her a coy look. “I think you know why.”

  Chris rolled her eyes and spotted the food on the table. “Oh, nice! I’m starving!”

  “Eat up. Pete’s here with the bus and we’ll need to leave in about an hour.”

  “Okay!”


  Chris already started to chomp down on one of her fries before Wade picked her up and spun her around. She giggled wildly as Wade latched onto her mouth and squeezed her butt through the towel.

  “Alright. I’m going back to my room to pack my things. Just meet up at the bus whenever you’re ready.”

  As Wade turned to leave, he held onto Chris’ wrist and started to drag her to the door along with him.

  “What’er you doin’!? I have to get dressed!”

  “I know! I know! C’mere!”

  He pulled her in close and laid a kiss on her lips.

  “Eww! You smell like onions!” she laughed while trying to physically shove him through the door.

  “Hold on a sec!”

  “What now!?” she asked impatiently.

  Wade forced himself through the closing gap in door one last time and planted another fierce kiss on her lips. Frustrated, she pushed his face away

  “Oh my gawd! Will you go already? I wanna eat!”

  “Okay, okay!”

  Wade backed off just before Chris closed the door in his face. He couldn’t help but smile like a fool on the way back to his room. Even as he got his things together, he couldn’t get over the feeling of how really damn lucky he was. This wasn’t his first night in some fly-by hotel while on the road with Heretic, but this time was different. He didn’t know how he was going to make this work, but he was going to try. To Wade, there was never the possibility of giving up Chris, especially not with what he had experienced – something he had never experienced before in his life.

  As he walked back to the bus for the hundredth time, he couldn’t remember a point in his life when he felt so carefree, so happy in his whole existence. It was clear that Joe understood, but did Os? They all had been friends since day one and they knew each other inside and out, but how could he begin to make his brother understand his elation?

  Wade knew there were certain risks involved and not just with Chris’ secrecy. He knew that when relationships formed within bands, it sometimes tore them apart.

  Wade cringed when he pictured himself not touring anymore, no longer screaming into a microphone under the blinding stage lights, he just couldn’t. Music was his life.

  He waited for the warning signs - the bells and whistles that his gut gave off when he was about to make a very bad decision.

  But there was nothing.

  Now, the only alarm he’d have to control was the fast-paced beating of his own heart each time he was around Chris.

  Chapter 16

  The bus hummed along the interstate like usual, although the atmosphere was very much the opposite. On any other day, Chris would already be lost in her zone while Joe played video games, and Wade would be jotting down lyrics in some obscure notepad. But now, there was a different picture painted this day.

  Chris, too scared even to move, sat in her regular spot at the table opposite of Joe, yet she was determined to keep her head and eyes out the window. She knew Joe remained exceptionally silent for a reason and for one reason only. She could practically feel his goofy expression digging into her from across the table.

  Wade tried to focus on his music, to jot down the lyrics in his head, but each time, he pictured himself buried in between Chris’ legs. He glanced over at their drummer in baggy clothing and bit his lip, forcing the fire in his groin to die down.

  And as the bus made the usual jerky motions across the road, Chris had a difficult time as well focusing on anything but the handsome rock star who sat just feet from her. Every time she dwelled on his masculine hands exploring her body, her insides tingled and she wondered if the two of them would ever been alone again.

  She felt her face blush continually and the fact that Joe hadn’t dropped his goofy expression since they left the hotel didn’t help matters much. She tried to ignore his wide grin by pulling her hoodie down over her head as much as possible, but she could still feel Joe’s awkward stare through all the layers of clothing. Somehow, she knew that his ability to hold in gossip was lost on him.

  As the bus strolled by one mile after another, it was obvious that the same routine that Heretic was accustomed to was not the same anymore. Chris wasn’t in the mood to get into her zone as long as Joe kept staring at her like that and Wade found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on his music and on the notepad in front of him. The only thing that was a constant in this state of flux was Os. When Chris looked at him a few times, he kept to himself and strummed at his guitar like usual. For almost two hours, no one spoke a single word.

  Sometimes, Chris would catch Wade as he eyed her, but then she’d retreat back under her hoodie and blush. But as time wore on, Joe’s anticipation kept building and building as if he’d explode at any moment. Chris would glare at Joe as if daring him to say something and so he pursed his lips together tightly, but it looked like it would hardly do the trick. She pretended to grow irritated with him just to keep herself from laughing at his mannerisms, but she couldn’t fight it off forever. Finally, she threw her hands down on the table loudly, causing a few pieces of silverware to jolt and move.

  “What is it, Joe? Huh? What?! What do you want to say?”

  Wade stopped what he was doing and looked up at the two of them. It wasn’t like he could get anything done anyway.

  “Huh? Wha-me? N-Nothing!”

  “To hell ‘nothing’! You’ve been starin’ at me like that for almost two hours!”

  “Like what?” he asked innocently.

  “Like you’ve got some big secret to tell and if you don’t spill it, you’re gonna explode!”

  “What’er talkin’ about? I-I always look like that!”

  Wade burst into laughter and Chris wanted to do the same, but she held her ground as best she could, determined to get Joe to spill his guts.

  “Yeah, I know,” Chris stated matter-of-factly. “…but this time is different. And if you don’t get out what’s on your mind, I’m gonna kick your ass!”

  And with that, Chris grabbed an empty plastic cup and threw it squarely at Joe. Before he could dodge the object, the well placed throw made the cup land directly onto his forehead with an audible ‘ploink.’

  “Ahh-how! What th-!? I swear! Wade? C’mon, man! Help me out here!”

  “Not this time, man.”

  “Spill it, Joe! Or I swear the next thing I throw is your ass out the window!”

  The bus was silent for a few moments and Wade cocked one of his eyebrows at Joe waiting for something to happen and by then, even Os stopped what he was doing and tuned into the commotion.

  But Wade knew too well that whatever Joe was about to say would be completely off the wall. That’s just the way he was. He had known almost his entire adult life, but he still shook his head as his friend’s oddball humor.

  Meanwhile, Joe’s frame practically shook with mountain-like tremors and he looked ready to burst from the seams at any moment. He held his breath for the longest time as a child would from a tantrum, until his face started to turn red. He looked back and forth from Chris to Wade several times until it all came out in one jumbled ball of idiocy and humor.

  “IF-YOU-GUYS-HAVE-KIDS-CAN-I-BE-THE-GODFATHER!?”

  “Oh my gawd!” Chris bellowed.

  “Joe! Jesus, man!” Wade exclaimed, mirroring Chris’ shock.

  Then, they both threw objects at Joe but it was Wade’s small pillow that hit him first. Joe easily dodged another plastic cup that Chris threw but not before the pillow knocked him upside his head.

  “OUCH! Wha’d I say!?”

  Suddenly, Os laughed out loud and got up from his seat, setting his guitar gently to the side. Amazingly, he approached Wade and held out his hand.

  “Really man, I’m happy for the two of you. I’m just sorry I was a dick earlier.”

  The other three seemed to look at each other surprised as Os wanted to shake hands.

  “Wow…thanks man.”

  Uneasy at such a turnaround, Wade eventually gave his brother his hand an
d they shook twice. Os smiled slightly.

  “Hey, you’re still my brother and I love ya. But I’m gonna hit the sack. We got a long night ahead.”

  “Alright, man. Take it easy.”

  Wade stared off into space as his brother retreated to his room. Os’ reaction to their relationship still took Wade some getting used to. He never expected his brother to come around so soon. Even Joe and Chris stared at each other in complete shock.

  After Chris was sure Os was out of earshot, she whispered to Joe across the table.

  “Did we somehow leave the old Os back at the hotel and pick up an imposter?”

  “Maybe,” he chuckled. “But I like this one better.”

  Chris giggled and brought her legs in closer to her, now more relaxed than ever. Already, the mood at the front of the bus seemed to lighten considerably.

  “I guess we should probably tell Pete next, huh?” Chris asked.

  “Pfft. You kidding me?" Wade interrupted. "We could tell him Joe is a girl and he wouldn’t be surprised.”

  “Hey!” Joe protested, making Chris laugh.

  “Alright - heads up.”

  Wade got up from his seat and sat down next to Chris. He set out a piece of paper with dates, times, and locations.

  “What’s this?” Chris asked, scanning over the sheet.

  “This, ladies and gentleman, is next month’s tour schedule. Look at it closely and plan your sleep and parties accordingly. And Joe?”

  Joe perked up. “Sup?”

  “When I mean’ plan your parties’, I fucking mean it. If I have to have your hung-over ass perform at another show, I’m checking you into AA.”

  “Man…what a buzz kill…” Joe groaned as if all life had been sucked from him.

  “And Chris?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re so fucking hot.”

  “Oh, Jesus. Go take a shower or something," she mumbled, nudging into Wade’s shoulder.

  "No way. I like smelling like sex."

  Mortified, Chris groaned and buried her head into her arms on the table. She mumbled something, but Wade couldn’t hear.

  Joe snickered.