Captain Fin

by Amanda M. Thrasher

  Hannah giggled. “Girl, you’ve lost your mind. I don’t know why all that went down! But I am glad we’re here.” She took a sip of her drink. “Damn, look at that boy!”

  “Speak of the devil,” Lindsey whispered. “Here comes Kennedy.”

  Kennedy rolled her eyes. “C’mon you two; let’s get on with it.”

  “Get on with what?” Lindsey asked.

  “Introductions.”

  “Told ya!” Lindsey whispered.

  Kennedy marched right over to Jackson’s group of friends, Cash included. In the most monotone voice, she did her duty.

  “Hey, this is Hannah and Lindsey. This is them,” she said and spun on her heels and walked toward Adam, standing awkwardly by himself in the far corner.

  “See what I mean. Freaking CRAZY!” Jackson laughed. “Nice to meet you. Have you met this loser?” Jackson punched Cash in the arm.

  “Yes, she has, sort of. We have a class together.”

  Trying to look confident and at ease, Hannah’s cheeks flushed bright red instead. Lindsey smiled and said their hellos on behalf of them both.

  Smiling, Cash complimented Hannah. “You look nice, by the way,”

  “Thanks,” she replied.

  “What’s your poison?”

  “What?” Hannah laughed. “Who says that?”

  Cash handed her a beer. “Absolutely nobody! It’s an ice breaker; did it work?”

  “I guess,” Hannah answered. “It made me laugh.”

  “Do you drink beer?”

  “I do. Thank you.” Hannah reached for the beer he handed her; talk about caving into absolutely zero peer pressure… what was that all about? Stupidity at its finest, but she didn’t even care! Happy to be engaged in conversation with him, she hadn’t a clue that Lindsey had slipped away to give them space to talk semi-privately in a crowded room. My gift, and thank you! Lindsey had thought.

  Hannah sipped the beer while Cash proudly introduced her to his friends, and she couldn’t help but notice he never once asked her to hurry up and drink the beer she held in her hands, nor offered her a second one. In fact, she held onto the same one practically all night. That was something Hannah noticed and appreciated—no pressure to keep up with his drinking. Lindsey appeared at her side from time to time, but she was laughing and playing games with Donavan, Jackson, Kennedy, Adam, Rachel, and several others. Pleased Lindsey was having fun, just like her, Hannah didn’t feel guilty for spending time with Cash.

  “I don’t want to gross you out or anything, but if you’re going to get to know me, you’ve got to take the good with the bad.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Cash looked at her, surprised. “What’s the bad?”

  “I’ve got to step outside for a smoke, well, a quick cherry-vanilla, actually, vape. Sorry.”

  “Ya know they’ve proven that’s just as bad as for your lungs, right?”

  Hannah laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “You sound like my mom, she’s a nurse, and I know. I plan on quitting, but not today.” She pulled her tiny device out of her pocket. “Now, you coming or staying? Makes no difference to me.”

  Her confidence surprised and impressed him; laughing, he grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the back door. The air was chilly, but the outdoor fireplace was lit, which helped take off the edge as several teens gathered around it chatting, laughing and smoking as well. Cash introduced Hannah, and it was as if she’d always fit in.

  Shivering, Cash put his arms around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. Hannah didn’t mind, and her smile assured him everything was okay. Conversation and laughter around the fireplace was pleasant and light, and Hannah found out that most of the kids went to her school. Turning to Cash, Hannah began to quiz him.

  “So where do you live?”

  “Actually, not far from here, about twenty minutes.” He grinned. “I’d tell you, but you wouldn’t have any idea where it was anyway.”

  Hannah laughed. “True.”

  “Do you like it here?” he asked. “I mean, being new in town and all… not right here… at this house.”

  Giggling, Hannah thought about his question before answering. She did like it, but she was so used to having to pack up and move again each time she had finally settled in, that not moving was going to be an adjustment.

  “I know what you meant, but that was cute! To answer your questions, yes, so far I really do. I just hope this is really our last move.”

  “Do you think you’ll be moving?” Cash sounded alarmed.

  “No. We’re not supposed to be moving. But I can’t count how many times over the years we have moved.” Staring at her feet, Hannah continued. “My mom swears this is the last move, and I’d like to believe her. I guess it’s just hard at times for me to trust her when it comes to her saying something like that, that’s all.”

  Cash watched her inhale, and though he wouldn’t admit it, the sweet smell of the cherry combined with the vanilla was quite nice. She caught him staring at her and immediately thought it was due to her smoking.

  “Sorry! I’m going to quit, really.”

  “No need to apologize to me; it’s your body, your lungs.”

  Rolling her eyes, she added, “Man, you and my mom, which by the way, she would kill me if she knew I was still doing this.”

  Holding the tiny device, which brought her such comfort, in the palm of her hand, she stared at it. It looked so pretty. Pink, trimmed in black.

  “What can I say, it’s a crutch for right now. Gets me through the sad and stressful times.”

  Cash’s deep brown eyes darted toward her. Sad and stressful times? He knew it! Leave it alone, Cash, he told himself. But at least now he knew he was right! Her big blue eyes were empty and distant because this beautiful girl was sad, and there was something about those eyes, her eyes, that absolutely tormented him!

  Chapter 17

  What’s Going On?

  Nervous speech and gentle kisses

  He lifts me up but doesn’t know it

  Butterfly stomach

  I’m a wreck

  Just pretend and you’ll forget

  ~ Hannah Gunner ~

  Hannah and Cash had been talking and hanging out for a few months, long enough that the official dating thing had taken form, though not officially addressed until now. Cash, leaning against his jeep, pulled her toward him. Hannah didn’t resist. His arms wrapped around her waist as he leaned in and gently kissed her. Her lips were soft and melted into his, and the speech that he’d played over and over again in his head suddenly disappeared. Sweeping her hair out of her face, Hannah playfully punched him on the shoulder.

  “Having any doubts about hanging out with my mom tonight? Are you scared to spend the evening with us?”

  He shook his head.

  “No!” Grinning. “It’s not like I haven’t met her before, and besides, I feel as if I know all about her already, since you talk about her so much.”

  Hannah looked surprised. “I do?”

  Cash nodded and laughed. “Yes, yes, you do!”

  “I didn’t realize that. What’s wrong then?” Hannah laughed, and for a split second, he thought he caught a glimpse of a sparkle in her eyes.

  “Um, well, there’s no easy way to say it, so I guess I’ll just lay it on you.”

  Hannah’s heart sank, and the smile she wore disappeared. Any hope of keeping that sparkle in those beautiful blues was gone, as Hannah prepared herself for the worst.

  The look on her face told him he’d screwed up. Wrong way to start the conversation and portray what he was trying to say. Hoping he hadn’t ruined the entire thing, he grabbed her hands in his.

  “Wait a minute, it’s not what you’re thinking. Let me start over.”

  “Well, you don’t know what I’m thinking,” Hannah replied nervously, trying not to look as worried as she now felt.

  “True, but let me start over anyway.”

  Cash cleared his throat.

  “We’ve been hanging out for a whil
e now, and I really like you, and you like me, or at least I think you do.”

  Hannah waited on pins and needles. Was this the dreaded breakup speech or something else? Her eyes darted toward the ground just in case it was a break, not a break up, but the dreaded break, which was always worse than an actual breakup because there wasn’t ever a reconnect after a break!

  “I just think we should officially say, that you know, we’re now exclusive.” He pulled her closer and lifted up her chin so she could look him in the eye. “Hannah, I don’t want to date anyone else.” Giving her a quick kiss on the lips, he added, “And I don’t want you to date anyone else.”

  Hannah didn’t respond at first, and nervously Cash asked her what she was thinking. Balling up her fist, she slammed him in the shoulder as hard as she could!

  “That’s it. That’s what you had me scared shitless about?!?! I thought you were breaking up with me or ending this… this thing, here, that we have!”

  “What are you talking about?” He laughed. “Are you crazy—ending it?” Playfully grabbing her head, he ruffled her hair, and for a split second the sensation of that feeling of her hair moving under someone’s hand in such a way on her scalp brought back a memory, a flashback, but she couldn’t remember where or why.

  “I guess I’m just terrible at this stuff. Sorry. But anyway, what say ye?”

  Hannah’s head whipped up as soon as she heard him say those words.

  “What did you just say?”

  “What say ye?” He chuckled, knowing he had her undivided attention. “Those crazy pirate stories you always tell me about.”

  Her face dropped as she remembered her dad, or was it the Captain, ruffling her hair as a kid as they played.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” Cash asked. “I pulled a Hannah; you know, that thing you always say. What say ye. It’s kinda cute, not gonna lie, a little weird, but cute in a weird girlfriend sort of way. See there, I said… girlfriend!”

  “Do I say that, really, what say ye? I swear, I hadn’t even noticed!”

  Cash looked puzzled. “Yeah, you do, but like I said, it’s really kinda cute. I guess it’s from your pirate days as a kid.”

  Embarrassed, Hannah placed her hands over her face. “Yeah, I guess. I just didn’t realize I said it around you; but I love that you just said those words to me here, right now.” Hesitating, she added, “They were pretty special back then, and yes, I’ll be your girlfriend!”

  She leaned her head on his chest, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her again. Her hair smelled like strawberries, and he figured she must have used some fruity shampoo. But her perfume, the one that he loved, lingered on her skin. He inhaled the scent and kissed the top of her head. Standing on her tippy toes, she kissed his cheek. His deep brown eyes drew her in and made her feel safe and loved. She hadn’t seen eyes quite like that before, and she realized right then and there that his eyes were one of the things she loved about him most. Cash felt the same way about her blues, except hers somehow had a hint of sadness in them that taunted him, forcing him to want to find out what had happened that made her eyes sometimes seem empty or not present.

  “I don’t know why, but those words startled me for a second.”

  Cash held her hands in his.

  “Sorry about that; but you said yes, correct? You’re in, exclusive, like just you and me?”

  Was that even a real question? Hannah was thrilled! Her feelings for Cash had only grown each time they’d hung out or talked. He made her laugh, listened to her, let Lindsey tag along with them without complaining a single time, and he hadn’t once judged her or pushed her too far in regards to questioning about her past. Though, admittedly, Hannah had yet to understand how Cash could be so hot, nice, and attracted to her at the same time; she didn’t inadvertently want to screw it up. Now here they stood, planning their date for that evening and when they’d officially tell her mom they were a real couple. Hannah didn’t often take guys to meet her mom. Kissing him longer than usual, she finally gave him the answer he’d been waiting for.

  “Yes, absolutely! Count me one hundred percent in!”

  Cash kissed her a little longer, and she noticed a tad harder when he said goodbye. “I’ll see you at seven, correct?”

  She nodded. “Yes. I think we’re having pasta, not sure, but that’s usually our go-to meal.”

  “Love me some spaghetti!”

  “Never said it would be spaghetti, maybe a version of something like that,” Hannah laughed, waving goodbye, and before his Jeep was out of view she was already FaceTiming Lindsey.

  “Y’all are so cute! But it’s not like you guys haven’t been exclusive for months anyway. I mean, really, I guess nothing’s changed except y’all have just confirmed it with the words.”

  “True. But the way he asked me, you should’ve heard him, so damn sweet.” Hannah giggled. “I must admit, something he said kinda freaked me out at first, the way he pays attention to what I say, I mean, more than I realized.”

  “Oh yeah, what happened?” Lindsey asked.

  Hannah hesitated.

  “Well, it’s weird. Cash said that I say this thing that I used to say as a kid, ‘What say ye?’ But I didn’t even realize it.” A smile crossed her face. “Especially around him, so dumb, or that I said it often enough he’d notice!” Hannah laughed at herself. “The Captain, I guess my dad, hell I’m not really sure anymore which one used to say that.” She laughed out loud and Lindsey laughed with her. “I think he was my dad, but the Captain, in my pirate dreams, would always say it.”

  Lindsey interjected. “I think it’s safe to say the Captain was your dad. You’ve said it before that you thought that you remembered playing a pirate game with him, or him telling you amazing stories about pirates. He must have been quite the storyteller for you to remember those things so vividly for all these years. I’m betting you’re just confusing the two, the stories and your dad.”

  “I guess,” Hannah replied. “I’m honestly not sure if it was him or just a dream; but I think you’re right, it probably was my dad. How cool is that… my dad… was the Captain. Well, if only in my dreams.”

  As soon as they hung up, Hannah ran into the apartment to help prepare for Cash’s dinner with her mom. Gloria had been trying to sit down with him for weeks, but Hannah had kept putting her off. They were only friends, Hannah would say, no need to single him out and embarrass him. Now they were more than friends, and Hannah knew she couldn’t put her mom off any longer. Gloria sat in the recliner in the living room, pale, unable to get up to greet her daughter.

  “What’s going on?” Hannah asked. “Are you all right?”

  Gloria nodded, but Hannah didn’t believe her.

  “You look terrible. Are you sure you’re up for company?” Hannah sat on the arm of her mom’s chair. Even Hannah knew her mom wasn’t up for company, let alone cooking a dinner for a guest. “Mom, Cash doesn’t have to come for dinner tonight. We can go out and do this some other time. Promise!” Picking up her mom’s hand and squeezing it, she added, “You look terrible, no offense.”

  Gloria shook her head and forced a fake laugh. “I’m fine, really. I’ve been a bit under the weather, but I’m feeling much better. In fact, I’ve got everything prepared. I really just need to heat everything up, and with your help, we’ll be done in no time at all.” She winked. “Trust me, I’m not about to miss dinner with your boyfriend, I mean so-called friend.”

  “Well, about that,” Hannah grinned. “I guess you and I need to chat.”

  Gloria hung on to every word her daughter shared with her. Smiling, she nodded and squeezed Hannah’s hand. Her first outpatient treatment had been that morning, but she’d yet to tell Hannah the truth about the diagnosis. The treatment was supposed to have minimal side effects, but it hadn’t gone as well as she’d hoped. It had taken a toll on her, and until her body was accustomed to the toxins that they were prescribing to help her, she’d have to acclimate herself as best she could
to the treatment she needed and get through the recovery period. One thing was clear: Gloria certainly wouldn’t be going to work the next day, she felt too weak. A little white lie about a shift change, and she could hide the truth from Hannah a bit longer. Fearful she couldn’t keep the truth from Hannah too much longer, she worried about how and when she would need to come clean and tell her daughter how ill she really was. But not today, not tonight, and not when her daughter looked so happy. Gritting her teeth, Gloria put on a smile, and insisted that despite how she felt, dinner would proceed. Scrambling for a reasonable excuse for her predicament, she came up with one that Hannah might actually believe.

  “I did the stupidest thing today,” she said. “It’s all on me!”

  Hannah sat down on the couch opposite her. “Oh yeah, what’s that?”

  “I took the wrong prescription for my blood pressure, accidentally got in a hurry and mixed it with the correct one, and between the combination of the two they made me violently ill.” She wiped her nose. “I’m doing much better now, but it was rough for a minute.”

  Faking a smile, she reassured Hannah that she was truly on the mend. “A little 7-Up, some crackers, a break, thus the recliner and blanket, and I’m on the mend. I’m really looking forward to having dinner with Cash, officially visiting and chatting with you both, and pasta is easy-peasy to cook.” She pushed her hair behind her ears, sat up straight to reassure Hannah that she was fine, but in truth the thought of cooking made her nauseous. Between the nausea and exhaustion, the thought of cooking was overwhelming, but the thought of eating was even worse. Gloria, white as a sheet, shook her head and took a deep breath.

  “Mom, really, I’m not sure you can pull off dinner.” Hannah crouched down on the floor in front of Gloria’s chair. “Are you?”

  Adamantly, Gloria insisted she was fine. “Don’t dismiss me like a kid, young lady; I’m fine.” Standing up, Gloria pointed toward her bedroom. “Time to freshen up.” As she walked feebly down the hall, she hollered back at Hannah. “Put snacks out; Cash will be here soon.”