by C. P. Watson
"You just got full marks on a senior quiz, I think you can more than handle yourself."
"You mean by identifying figures of speech, isn't literature much more complicated than that?" I asked as I picked up the first paper.
"Have you ever done Literature before?" She questioned as she rested her body weight on my desk with her elbows.
“I did in my Junior year and that only lasted about two weeks before I dropped out of it.”
"The teacher, right?" I nodded as I tapped my pen against the desk.
"Too anti-lgbt for my liking."
"Yeah, a lot of people are like that."
"Yeah, sometimes it's hard to handle such situations, which makes it best to avoid them."
I got up and stretched my arms before checking the time on my watch. It was only 3:47 in the afternoon, so I decided to go grab something to eat from the kitchen downstairs.
"Gonna grab a snack from the kitchen before we start, wanna come?" She nodded and we both walked out of my room and down the steps. As we walked towards the kitchen, I heard my name being called. "Yes, grandpa," I said as I saw the old man sitting in his armchair reading the newspaper.
"When did you get home from school? I did not know you were home." He said as he lifted his eyes off the paper and towards us. "I let Ava in and she said she came to see you." He said as he got up and walked towards us.
"I am just helping her grade some papers," I said as I walked into the kitchen and straight to the fridge. I peered in and scanned the contents it held, before deciding on a pudding cup. I picked it up and closed the fridge before turning my attention back to the two who were having a conversation.
"I see you have taken on some responsibilities, I am proud of you." My grandfather said as I ripped open the lid of the plastic container and then opened the drawer next to the fridge to take out a spoon.
"Yeah, whatever gets me into Harvard," I mumbled as I took a spoonful of the chocolate goodness.
"Ava, would you like anything to drink? It seems as though Kay has no manners nor hospitality." I rolled my eyes as I took another spoonful before placing the spoon in the sink and throwing the rest of the pudding into the garbage can. "And wasteful as well." He added.
"Water would be fine." She said before my grandfather opened the fridge, took out a bottle of water and closed it.
He handed Ava the bottle of water before looking back at me, "I hope you are not giving Ava a hard time, I know you can be a handful sometimes." He said as he walked over to the pantry and grabbed a banana.
"When have I done anything rebellious, grandpa?" I questioned offended.
"Your mother has told me about your tattoos." He said making me groan.
"So what? Just because I want to put ink on my skin does not mean I am rebellious. At least I don't go fucking around like normal teenagers."
"Language Kylie, just because you are heading off to college soon does not mean you have any right to speak to me like that."
"Whatever, I have stuff to do," I grumbled as I walked out of the kitchen, up the stairs and into my room.
I realized that Ava followed along behind me since I spotted her after I threw myself on my bed. "Hey, he is just trying to help." She said as she closed the door behind her.
"Do you even know why he is like this? Why they are so concerned about me?" I grumbled as I buried my face in my pillow. I was frustrated, angry and sad, and having a minor breakdown in front of my teacher.
"Not really, he never said anything about it." She said as she took a seat next to me on the bed and began running her fingers through my hair, just the way my mother did.
I let out a heavy sigh and looked at her, concern lingering on her facial expression. "Let's mark those papers," I said as I let out a deep breath. She seemed to want me to open up to her but I was not willing to do that. My personal business was personal for a reason and I really did not want another person to pity me.
"Sure." She said as she retracted her hand and got off the bed. I did the same and walked behind her towards the desk, grabbing my bean bag chair next to the desk and giving her the desk's chair.
We graded the papers in silence, using the answer sheet which was not really needed. We soon finished and she was ready to leave. By then it was only 4:32 in the afternoon and I really wanted to take a nap to clear my head, before waking up later and taking a run.
CHAPTER FIVE
An entire month went by, my flashbacks coming and going, my skills in Literature increasing, and a certain someone was always on my mind. I did not know if it was because I saw her literally every day, both at school and home, or because I was developing feelings for her. But I honestly did not understand what I was feeling, being that I never felt that way before towards anyone. It could have just been the feeling of friendship. She was my grandfather's god-daughter after all, so that had to develop a sisterly bond, though I was nothing close to religious and had great disbelief in God, I did know there was something of higher power than us humans in the world.
It was the weekend and I was sitting on a poolside chair in the backyard overlooking the pool. Since I arrived, I never touched foot into the water, but boredom was tempting me, but then again Ava was coming over soon to tell me about how my tutoring was panning out. I honestly could not wait for them to fire me; those three teenagers were going to make me have to admit myself into a mental asylum.
I walked over to the pool and dipped my toe in to test the water, it felt cool and sensual to the touch so I decided I would just dip my legs inside. Luckily, I was wearing shorts so that my legs were bare.
As I felt the cool water covering my legs, I let out a heavy sigh and watched how my legs slowly paddled in the water.
“Mommy, Daddy, where are you?” I yelled as I was left alone in the pool. I swam my way to the edge, with the help of my floating armbands, and lifted my little body out of the pool and onto the concrete.
A lot of people were there, either swimming or walking around, I felt out of place and alone. I walked into the house through the opened glass door to see my mother and father in the living room with another woman.
“Jaclyn, what the fuck!” My father spat as I walked closer.
"You brought your mistress to your daughter's birthday party." My mother fumed.
"Don't talk to me like that Jaclyn. I can bring who the fuck I want over."
I ran up to my mother and gripped on her leg, "Kay, why aren't you outside?" My mother asked looking down at me, her eyes softening.
"I want to be with you mommy," I said tightening my grip on her leg as I looked up at the woman.
"I think I should leave." The woman said and she stormed away.
"See what you fucking did." He pushed my mother out of the way, resulting in both of us toppling to the floor, and walked away.
“Kylie.” Ava sat down next to me and dipped her feet into the pool as well, "I was looking for you." She said as I felt her hand on my arm, "are you okay?" She questioned as she leaned closer to me, her body weight against mine resulting in both of us falling into the pool.
We both squealed as the impact of the water covered our bodies and I immediately swam towards the surface.
I took in the air, and my breaths were uneven as I saw Ava doing the same. "Fuck, were you trying to drown me?" I chuckled as I swam to the edge of the pool and lifted myself up to the concrete.
"I’m sorry. I didn't mean to. You just seemed sad." She said as she did the same.
"I rather be alone when I am sad if you don't mind," I said as I walked into the house, up the steps and into my room. She likely followed behind me since I heard her footsteps.
I slipped my soaked tank top over my head, including slipping my legs out of my shorts. I then took out two towels from the linen drawer and turned back to her. "Here." I threw one of the towels over to her as I proceeded to dry my skin.
"Um...mm... I like your tattoo." She said since the upper part of my body was completely exposed, being that I didn't wear a
bra.
"Thanks," I said as I slipped down my underwear and immediately wrapped the towel around my body.
"Your other tattoo is nice too." She said and slipped her top over her head, revealing a black lace bra. I bit down on my bottom lip as I tried not to look at her.
"You mean the one below my hip?"
"Yeah, it's cute." She said and I lifted my eyes up to hers, the towel being wrapped around her body. "I left clothes here that one time, I can use those." I nodded and walked over to my dresser and took out the folded clothes that I had placed in there.
"Sorry, I meant to return them to you," I said as I handed them to her.
"It's okay, there is a reason for everything."
She walked closer to me, "can I ask you a question?"
"You have been asking me questions since I met you but go ahead." I grinned but her body being so close to mine, made me a bit self-conscious.
"Are you a virgin?" She whispered as if anyone heard she would have gotten in trouble.
I swallowed as I looked down at her lips, I stepped backwards, making the distance between us. "I am," I said as I looked into her eyes, not too sure why she would ask a question like that.
"I figured... Since you never had a girlfriend." She said turning her gaze away from me. "I wanted to ask what it was like."
"You can only understand if you experience it yourself," I said and she shook her head.
"I can't, there is no one in this town that wouldn't rat me out to my parents and everyone else for that matter."
"Even if they are the one you would be sleeping with?" She nodded.
"I think I am just afraid of the possibility of someone finding out, you may not know this but I am just like you." She said as she took a seat on my bed still facing me. I took a seat next to her.
"I kinda figured that out a while ago."
"How?" She asked. I could feel her breath against my neck, she was close to me again, and I was not too comfortable with it.
"I just know," I said, my body heat building up. I knew I needed to move away from her but I did not want to. My heart was beating at a rapid rate and I did not know why.
"Isn’t it obvious?" She sighed as she began to run her fingers through my hair, making my eyes close and my need to push her away slowly disintegrate.
“You being a lesbian?” She trailed her fingertips along my shoulder.
“No,” she said before kissing my shoulder, I trembled at her touch, my heart rate again increasing.
I got up, leaving her on the bed, “I am not comfortable with that.” I said not knowing why I rejected her. Her touch was exhilarating but I was so uneasy about it. I wanted it but still, I did not.
“Hey, you can talk to me about anything you know.” I shook my head and walked towards my closet, looking for clothing though I just wanted to avoid the conversation. “Kylie, you need to open up to someone.” My head shot up to meet hers, tears threatening to fall.
"I don't want to talk about it," I said as I hastily picked up a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.
“Please Kylie.” She begged as she grabbed me by my shoulders and leant her forehead against mine.
“Can you just leave me alone?” I whispered, my voice strained.
She backed away from me and sighed, “I am here when you're ready to talk.” She said before picking up her clothes that she left on the bed and walking into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. I let out a heavy sigh and dropped my towel to the floor before I got dressed.
Combing my hand through my wet hair, I decided against blowing drying it since I was both mentally and physically exhausted.
Ava came out of the bathroom, her hair still wet as well and she walked over to me, “want to help me set a quiz?” She asked as I avoided eye contact with her. “By the way, you’re doing great with the tutoring, the three students are actually improving.”
“Yeah...um...”
"There is this fair tomorrow at the park, would you like to go? My family is going and grandpa will as well." I shook my head, "oh come on, there will be cotton candy and caramel apples."
I looked at her, "are you trying to persuade me with treats?"
"Maybe... Your grandfather did tell me that you have a sweet tooth." She said making a small smile form on my lips.
"Only if you promise not to kiss me again." She let out a heavy sigh before walking up to me and crashing her lips against mine. My entire body shook with an electric sensation at the unexpected gesture and when our lips parted she ran the tips of her fingers along my cheek.
"Like that?"
◆◆◆
I DID NOT KNOW how to feel, or why she kissed me. As she sat across from me while browsing through her phone, I could not help but stare at her. ‘Did she know the repercussions of people knowing what we did? Did she forget that she was my teacher?’
"What's on your mind?" She asked as she placed her phone down and looked at me, a smile on her lips.
"Why did you... Ummm... kiss me?" I stuttered while trying not to make eye contact with her.
"Isn't it obvious?" She asked as she leaned closer to me, a strand of her hair grazing the tip of my nose.
"I know that you shouldn't have," I said lifting my eyes up to meet hers. I saw conflict within them.
She let out a deep breath, "too bad, I really like you." She said cupping my cheek. "You are eighteen, right?" She questioned as she brought her face closer to mine.
I nodded as she grazed her lips against mine, "you like me?" I questioned rhetorically, not too sure how I felt about that. I was not too sure how I felt about her.
"Since I saw you in those pictures." She said making me remember when her little sister told me that Ava thought I was ‘extremely pretty’. "You are very beautiful." She whispered as she sealed our lips together. Her tongue slowly sliding against my bottom lip. "That was nice." She whispered as we parted, "you're a good kisser."
I smiled as she began to run her fingers through my hair again, "I like you too." I said as I closed my eyes, "but I don't confide in people." I informed making her kiss my forehead.
"You are closed off, you'll open up to me in time." She said as she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"What are you saying?" I asked as she rested her chin on top of my head.
"Am I being too blunt?" She questioned as her thumb caressed the side of my neck.
"Kinda... I guess."
"I don't mean to be but I really like you, Kylie, can we take it from here and see what happens?" She asked bringing her head down to lean her forehead against mine.
I let out a deep breath, though I was beginning to feel comfortable around her, not feeling the need to push her away, I did not want what she was saying. "I am not ready for that," I whispered disappointing even myself.
"I am not forcing you to do anything, let's just be friends then and when you're ready, I will be right here." She whispered before kissing my forehead.
"Are you willing to sacrifice so much for me?" I wondered why she would put her job on the line just for my companionship.
"Life is too short, and I have liked you for a very long time."
"We only met over a month ago."
"You have only known me for that period of time, but I feel like I have known you forever." She said making me back away from her.
"This is weird," I said getting off the bed, I did not know what to think. She was confusing and scaring me.
"I am trying to tell you I like you." She said letting out a heavy sigh. "Oh my God, I am sounding stalker crazy, aren't I?"
I looked back at her and pressed my lips together not saying anything before I walked out of my room, down the steps and into the kitchen. I really needed a little space.
“Kylie, come here.” My father called, my mother was in the kitchen making dinner.
“Yes, daddy,” I said as I stood by him next to the chair.
“Sit on daddy's lap.” I nodded and did as told but felt uncomfortable.
"Daddy
something is poking my thigh."
"It's okay honey, would you like to touch it." I shook my head wanting to run into the kitchen to find my mother. "I bet you'll like it." He said as he lifted me up and placed me on the couch next to him, then proceeded to place my hand over the bulge in his pants.
I immediately retracted my hand away from it and scooted to the far end of the couch. "I don't want to," I said tears building up in my eyes.
I then felt a sudden slap across my face, before he placed his palm over my mouth to block a scream from escaping my mouth, "tell your mother and I will kill her." He threatened making me hastily nod.
"Kylie, I am sorry for scaring you. I just think that you are beautiful from the inside out." She said catching up to me in the kitchen. I leaned on the counter trying to regain my comfort zone. "I know I am your teacher, and you're only eighteen, and I am your grandfather's god-daughter but I really do like you. Is that wrong for me to say?" She walked closer to me and gripped my side making me flinch.
"Don't, I am not ready," I said as I pushed her off me.
"Kylie, are you okay?" My grandfather yelled making my body shake.
"Yeah, she is just feeling uneasy," Ava said as I heard his footsteps coming closer to me.
"It's okay honey, I'm here." He said as he wrapped his arms around me, I began to cry on his shoulder as my grip tightened around his neck. "No one is going to hurt you." He added making my sobs worsen.
"Ava, what happened?" He asked as he helped me walk into the living room and onto the sofa where I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my face in a cushion.