"I wish you were here," Luc whispered.
Adam wished he was too. His body hungered for Luc at the very thought of being close to him.
"That probably sounds really fucking needy," Luc added.
"If it is, I'm needy too." Adam rubbed the back of his neck. "I wish you'd never felt the need to go away," he admitted. "Maybe then..." he sighed, not really sure he should put it into words.
"We'd have been together sooner?" Luc asked, obviously not quite so wary.
"Yeah."
It was weird. Despite the time they'd spent apart, it still felt like they were a perfect fit for one another. He'd felt that way when they were kids: that they were a team, that they'd always be together, always be friends. Maybe, on some level, he'd had deeper feelings for Luc for a long time. Maybe that's why it had hurt so much when Luc had pushed him away and why his desire for Luc had been so quick to kick in, once he realised that he could feel that way about him. And maybe, just maybe, it wasn't only lust he felt for his brother. Was love really that much of a stretch? How could he not love the man he'd known for most of his life? The years they'd spent distant and estranged saddened him. They felt like wasted time and energy. He'd been so angry, when he could have been in his brother's arms, if only Luc had been honest.
The irony of that thought hit him like a sledgehammer. It wasn't as if he was tripping over himself to tell their parents, or anyone else for that matter. He'd had to leave the house, just so he could talk to Luc on the phone, without having to censor any of his words. He knew why Luc had felt like he couldn't be honest. Christ, he'd reacted badly enough as it was to Luc's admission. He could only imagine what he would have done if, as a teenager, he'd discovered his older brother fancied him.
He also wasn't letting those three little words fall off his tongue. Why not? Because they were on the phone? Or because he still wasn't sure that it was love, rather than lust?
A small part of him had actually hoped that his feelings would wane the moment Luc had gotten on the train. That, with temptation out of sight, he'd be able to put his lust out of mind. Everything would have been simpler if that had been the case; if they'd both felt that way. But, if anything, he needed Luc more now that he wasn’t around. He sighed.
"You okay?" Luc asked.
"I just miss you," Adam admitted. "This whole situation is so fucked up."
"Yeah, it is. I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For starting all this. I shouldn't have said anything to you."
"I'm glad you did." That was the honest to God truth. Sure, he'd have carried on living his simple life, angry and pissed off at Luc forever. But he would have missed out on the raw and wonderful connection he had with Luc.
It felt like the air had been knocked out of his lungs. Their connection was truly wonderful and the ache he’d had in his chest all week wasn’t just the product of lust; he felt so much more than that for Luc. He felt… love? It was the only name he could put to the emotion that was swelling up inside him, making him feel light and his lips curl upwards into a stupid grin. Everything made sense when he was with Luc and, at the same time, nothing made sense. Being with his stepbrother was both grounding and insane at the same time. The realisation that he could love Luc… no, that he did love him left him staring wide eyed at nothing, the park blurring into a hundred shades of green that swirled around him, as though he were on a merry-go-round that left him laughing and feeling slightly sick at the same time. He loved his stepbrother, but he wasn’t sure that would be enough.
“Adam? Are you okay?”
"Yeah, I just wish things were simpler,” he admitted. “I wish we could tell Mum and Dad and know they would be okay with us being together."
"Me too. Maybe they would be."
"And maybe pigs will fly." Adam inhaled, to try to curb the flash of bitterness that had surged through him.
He loved their parents; he wouldn't be able to stand it if he hurt them. But he would. Sooner or later, they would find out. There was no way he and Luc could hide their affair forever.
"I've got to go," he said. "I'll let you know about next weekend, okay?"
"Yeah," Luc said. "Adam..."
"Yeah?"
Adam held his breath as Luc paused.
"Take care, okay?" Luc said eventually, his voice wavering slightly.
"Yeah, you too." Adam hung up the call and stared at his phone. Maybe one day—hopefully soon—he'd have the courage to tell Luc he thought he loved him.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Luc
Luc wasn't sure how Adam had managed it, but his brother's train would be pulling in just before six. He'd known since midway through the week that Adam would be visiting and it had been hard to keep his excitement to himself. Somehow, he'd succeeded. But now that he was staring at the arrivals boards in the train station, he couldn't stand still. As soon as the train's arrival was announced over the tannoy, he headed towards the barriers that prevented people without tickets from gaining access to the platforms. It only took a couple of minutes for him to spot Adam striding towards him, with a rucksack on his back.
They embraced and kissed, their reunion far more physical than their parting.
"I've missed you," Luc breathed.
"Ditto." Adam grinned at him. "So, what was so important that I had to get here this evening?"
"You'll see." Luc threaded his fingers through Adam's. "Come on, you can leave your bag at my office until after."
"After what?"
Luc chuckled. "You'll see."
"You remember I hate surprises, right?" Adam asked, as they left the train station and started heading down the street.
"I remember, but you'll like this one, I promise. Have you eaten?"
Adam shook his head.
"There's a couple of places close to where we're going that do decent fast food."
They chatted about everything and nothing as they walked, catching up properly on the last couple of weeks. They held each other's hands the whole way and, every so often, one or the other of them would dip their head onto the other's shoulder. It felt so good to be able to act like a normal couple, without fear that someone they knew might see them. The only worry Luc had was running into Jane. Not that that was likely and he knew no one would be in the office on a Saturday. He was the only person aside from Adrianna who had a key and that was only because he always worked so late.
"So, this is where you work?" Adam asked, as they ducked inside long enough for Luc to put Adam's rucksack in his office.
He didn't even flick the lights on, so it was hard to see much, but there was a little light seeping through the blinds from the street.
"Looks nice."
"It's a good place to work," Luc agreed.
"Maybe one day I can meet some of your work mates?"
"Maybe."
Adam squeezed his hand. "What's up?"
"Jane—the designer I got to help with the website and promo stuff—knows you're my stepbrother."
"Ah. And she's seen those photos of me dancing."
Luc nodded miserably. "I'm sorry."
Adam shrugged. "We knew what we were signing up for when we decided to be together." He didn't sound any happier about the secrecy than Luc felt.
After setting the burglar alarm and locking up, they headed onto the high street to get something to eat. They ended up with a couple of burritos, which they ate whilst sitting on tall bar-style stools, looking out the window onto the busy street.
"How did you manage to catch a train to get here in time?" Luc asked.
"I moved some of my senior lessons to during the week. They didn't mind staying an hour later three nights, which meant I got to get away at two, inside of five. I won't be able to do it regularly, though," he said, regret lacing his voice. "It was just a one off."
Luc understood. Teaching was Adam's career. He couldn't just chop and change when he taught to suit his sex life; especially when their parents didn't know anything about it.
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"So," Adam said, as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Where are we going?"
"You don't let up, do you?"
"Nope."
Luc grabbed his hand again and dragged him off the stool and out the door. "It's just around the corner and we'd better get a move on."
He watched Adam's face as they wandered up to the theatre, with its elaborate facade. The door was framed by two columns, reminiscent of Ancient Greek doric ones. A red carpet, with gold poles to keep it secure, ran down the marble steps that led inside. Posters advertised Don Quixote and people were crowding around the entrance, slowly filtering inside as security guards checked their tickets and bags. Adam's expression lit up as his eyes widened and his jaw became slack.
"You got us ballet tickets?" he asked.
"Yup."
"I didn't think you liked going to the ballet."
"You do."
Adam hugged him and then kissed him passionately. "You're amazing."
"I know."
Adam play-punched him in the shoulder. "And big headed."
"I know that, too." He wrapped his arm around Adam's shoulder. "Come on, let's go find our seats."
Whoever had given Adrianna the tickets hadn't skimped. They were on the very front row of the dress circle, right in the middle. Adam hadn't stopped grinning since the moment they'd sat down. He sat, poised on the edge of his seat, staring intently at the stage, even though the house lights were on and people were still making their way to their seats. Not that Luc was surprised. He remembered vividly how much Adam had loved going to see the ballet. He knew how Adam had dreamed of being up on stage himself. Hell, he'd even auditioned for companies, alongside Mason and Luc knew he'd gotten in to at least one. But he'd turned the place down, to help their parents. Luc respected the hell out of Adam for the sacrifice he'd made, but he also felt a deep sense of sadness and regret on behalf of his brother. No matter how many times Adam told him he was happy teaching, that he no longer wanted to perform, Luc wasn't buying it. He hoped that watching the ballet would rekindle Adam's desire and that maybe, just maybe, he'd be selfish enough to finally put his dream into reality.
"It's starting," Adam said, bouncing slightly in his seat as the orchestra started up and the house lights went out.
Luc put his hand on Adam's knee and sat back to watch. He spent half his time studying Adam's face, rather than watching the ballet. The awe was palpable in Adam's features, in the way his eyebrows were raised and the way his lips moved to mouth the dancer's steps.
At the interval, Adam couldn't stop talking about the performance. Luc didn't understand half of what Adam said, but he listened intently, allowing Adam to gush happily.
His brother was just as mesmerised during the second act and, when the curtain went down and the dancers took their bows, Adam stood and pounded his hands together for a straight five minutes.
"You enjoyed that, then?" Luc asked, as they walked via his office back to his apartment.
"Yes," Adam said. "Thank you so much."
"Worth shuffling things around for?"
"More than!"
***
As soon as Luc shut the door, Adam grabbed his coat in his fist and dragged him close for a kiss.
"Nice place," Adam murmured against Luc's lips. He shrugged his backpack off his shoulder and dropped it onto the floor.
"You haven't had a chance to look at it," Luc replied, amused.
"We can be alone, that's all that matters. You can show me around tomorrow, after you've fucked me tonight."
"I have another surprise for you first."
"Sex first," Adam told him. "Surprise later." His eyes gleamed. "You were going to make sure I couldn't walk properly, remember?"
Luc was definitely up for that challenge. He pulled Adam's coat and T-shirt off, so he could press his hands all over his brother's taut muscles. They were kissing again, tongues waging a war for dominance.
"Are we going to make it to the bed?" Adam gasped, as he unbuckled Luc's belt.
"That's where my supplies are, so we'd better." He grabbed Adam's hips and, still kissing him, walked him backwards through the open plan apartment, to the steep stairs that led up to the mezzanine bedroom.
"Fuck, that's posh," Adam said, as his calves hit the steps and he was forced to stop and glance around. "You're going to have to let me go so we can get up there, though."
"Let's finish getting naked first," Luc said, smiling.
Adam tipped his head to the side a little, confusion and curiosity waging war on his face. But then he shrugged and, with frenzied movements and stolen kisses, they stripped each other bare. Luc turned Adam around and slapped his arse. He loved the feel of hard muscle and soft skin beneath his hand.
"Now get up there."
Adam chuckled and began to climb, giving Luc a wonderful view of his brother's crack. When it was just the right height, he leaned forward and ran his tongue down it, feeling Adam shiver.
"Cheeky bastard," Adam hissed, stopping. His hands gripped the rail tightly.
"You loved it," Luc said, before repeating the action, this time going bottom to top more slowly.
"Fuck, yes."
"But I want you upstairs," Luc told him. "On the bed."
"Once more," Adam whimpered, his voice almost pleading.
Luc laughed and obliged, allowing himself several seconds of lapping at his brother's crack, before slapping his butt cheek again, to encourage him to carry on up the steps.
He reached the top a couple of seconds after Adam and immediately pushed him onto the bed, so he was lying flat on his stomach. He straddled Adam, his erection resting against Adam's thigh, whilst he leaned forward to kiss his way up and down Adam's spine.
"I thought you were going to fuck me," Adam said.
"Patience."
Adam shook his head. "I've been gagging for this." He glanced back. "Either fuck me now, or I'll get bored and beat you to it."
Luc liked the sound of that: of the fight they'd have as they wrestled one another, finding out who was stronger and could pin the other first. But that kind of dominant play could wait. Tonight, he wanted his cock inside Adam. So, no more wasting time on niceties and foreplay. He grabbed a condom and lube from his bedside table and quickly gloved his hard cock. Adam moved, bending his knees beneath himself so he could stick his arse in the air. He waggled it tantalisingly from side to side.
"So hard I can't walk tomorrow," Adam said, glancing back, a hungry grin on his face.
"Let me warm you up first," Luc said, squeezing lube onto his fingers and then his cock.
"I want to feel your cock, not your fingers."
Luc hesitated. He was all for rough play, but even he liked his arsehole to be warm and loose before anyone tried to stick a cock in there.
"I can take it," Adam said. "I like it."
Luc shuffled closer, grabbing Adam's hips. He pressed the head of his cock against Adam's arsehole, feeling the tight resistance.
"Do it," Adam said, as a shiver shook his body. "Fuck me hard."
Luc pushed his way inside, one delicious inch at a time. He felt Adam's muscles ripple and tense beneath his hands, felt him push back against his cock, encouraging him deeper and deeper.
"Fuck, yeah," Adam hissed. "You're so big. You feel amazing inside me. I want you, Luc. I want you to fuck me."
Luc loved the husky sound of Adam's voice and the note of pleading in it. He began to thrust, hard and fast, sometimes pulling fully out so he could slam back in again and listen to Adam's deep grunts.
"That's so good," Adam told him. "I like it rough."
Luc let himself go completely and stopped worrying about whether he might hurt Adam. His brother was an adult, capable of deciding what it was he wanted. If he wanted it rough, Luc was more than happy to give it to him. Shit, he was actually fucking his brother. Stepbrother. Whatever. The clarification no longer mattered. He was fucking Adam. He was slamming his cock deep into Adam over and over and it felt amazing. The
warm tightness around his gloved cock was wonderful. Every noise Adam made drove him wild, the grunts, groans and moans caused by both pleasure and pain.
"Oh yeah," Adam said. "Harder. I can take harder. Give it to me harder."
Luc did. So hard it made him short of breath, made his body feel exhausted and made him sweat. His balls slapped against Adam's arse over and over.
"That's good," Adam breathed. "So fucking good."
He dropped his groin to the bed and began humping it, rubbing his own erection against the sheets as Luc continued to ram into him. Luc wasn't sure how much more he could take before he came. He could feel his balls tightening, feel every tingle of pleasure gathering in his cock, ready to explode. But he didn't want it to end. Not that he had any choice.
"I fucking love you," he cried out, as his whole body shuddered with his orgasm.
Almost simultaneously, Adam screamed out his own climax, his body shaking and shivering as he slammed his fist against the mattress.
Neither of them moved. Luc was still buried in Adam. Their breathing was hard, but almost in sync. Luc's heart thundered against his ribs, threatening to break free.
"I love you too," Adam murmured, licking his lips.
Luc pulled free and collapsed beside Adam, who rolled over, semen staining the hard planes of his stomach.
"That was good," Adam said.
Luc raised an eyebrow. "Just good?"
Adam laughed. "Okay, it was fucking amazing." He stared into Luc's eyes. "Holy shit, I just let my brother fuck me."
Luc stroked his face. "And?" He held his breath, anticipating the worst, but hoping for the best.
"You can do it again." He kissed Luc. "And again. I love you."
Luc smiled, his heart finally calming down. "I love you too."
Chapter Twenty-Three
Adam
When Adam woke, he was alone in the bed. The scent of coffee and bacon wafted up from the kitchen area beneath the mezzanine. He smiled as he stared up at the ceiling, remembering how amazing the previous night had been. But fuck was he sore. He'd asked for it, but he was certain he'd be walking bow legged for a short while at least. No doubt Luc would find that ridiculously amusing. He rolled out of the bed and grabbed the boxers he'd been wearing the night before. The clean clothes he'd brought with him were in his rucksack, which he remembered dumping by the front door. Clambering down the steep steps from the mezzanine took him longer than it should have done and he was indeed walking like he had a rod stuck up his arse. As he'd anticipated, Luc took one look at him and burst out laughing, clutching his stomach.
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