Break You

by Snyder, Jennifer

  I was going to make love to Blaire Hayes, the way I should have the night our baby was conceived, and she was going to enjoy every second of it.

  Running the pads of my fingers across the delicate, sweet-smelling skin of hers, I savored the sounds she made. I could tell she was struggling to hold them all in, to control how much she revealed to me about the way I was making her feel. This turned me on. I wanted to force her to let loose, to get so involved in how I was touching her and what I was making her feel that she forgot about the noises she made or the expressions that flitted across her face after each one.

  I wanted Blaire to get lost in me.

  Trailing my tongue along the length of her stomach, my hands came up to cup the minute baby bump she had forming. Placing a soft kiss there, I flicked my eyes up to meet with hers.

  “Hold tight, little peanut,” I whispered against her skin.

  Gripping the waistband of her yoga pants and the panties beneath, I tugged them both down in a few motions. She kicked them off and then reached for my shorts again.

  “If I have to be fully naked with the lights on right now, then so do you,” she said.

  Pulling my shorts and boxers off, I wadded them up and tossed them to the floor. Her arms wrapped around me and her fingers splayed across my back as she pressed me closer to her.

  “Better?” I asked.

  “Much.”

  My lips met with hers again and I intertwined my fingers through her hair as I cupped the sides of her face. Pushing her back down onto the mattress, I hovered above her and slowed our kisses to featherlight brushes once more. Brushing the hair away from her face, I stared at her for a moment. “Are you all right with this?” I needed to be sure.

  Blaire nodded and smiled. “Yes.”

  “Okay.” I grinned back at her.

  My lips grazed hers and I felt her thighs tremble against me. The only sound I could hear was the roaring of my heart as I attempted to keep the momentum slow and sensual between us. It took everything I had. I wanted nothing more than to go at it like rabbits, but I also wanted this moment to mean something. This is what the first time should have been like, but wasn’t, and now I was going to make up for that.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  BLAIRE

  I handed Wilma back her baby doll and tried to suppress the saddened expression that desperately wanted to make an appearance on my face. Wilma was not a new resident at Cross Meadows, but she was one that had been here the longest. Just like Mr. Harold, Wilma had been all alone since the day she’d been dropped off. This was why I think she adopted the habit of having a baby doll to take care of.

  Wilma rocked her baby in her arms while humming a sweet melody. I stared at her and wondered if she had been a good mother when she’d gotten the chance, or if this was her way of trying to make up for that before she died. I always thought this way with the grumpier residents—I felt like they knew they were dying and the thought scared them so much they couldn’t help but be hateful and angry.

  “I can’t get Cora to burp,” Wilma said. “Could you try, sweetheart?”

  Carefully, I reached out and scooped Cora from Wilma’s arms as though she were a real baby. This was something I’d learned to do the hard way. The first time I attempted to take Cora from her arms, I’d done so by gripping the doll’s arm and pulling her away. Wilma had slapped my hand and said I’d hurt her baby. She’d cussed me out and cried uncontrollably for over an hour.

  “Sure.” I cradled the doll in my arms and then gently swept her up to rest against my shoulder. Patting her back in a mild manner, I glanced at Wilma. Her wild gray hair was a mess today and her clothes didn’t match. I smiled at her. “How am I doing?”

  “Great, sugar.” She grinned. “Oh, I wanted to tell you what happened to me the other day. Boris pulled the damn fire alarm again and scared the shit right outta my baby.”

  “Oh really?” It was hard not to laugh, but I knew if I didn’t contain myself, Wilma would cuss me like I was sure she cussed Boris. She was one of our more blunt, potty-mouthed residents.

  “He damn sure did,” Wilma added. She waved her hands in the air and grew animated. “And while we were out there, standing around and waiting on all the idiots to realize there wasn’t a real fire, I saw Deloris James’ family standing with her. I walked right up to them and told those S.O.B.s what their mama had been doing lately.”

  “What’s she been doing now?” I asked.

  Deloris was a riot. Since she’d been at Cross Meadows there truly had not been a dull moment. I still wasn’t sure if Deloris was a klepto or if she just liked to mess with people and was attention starved. Either way, Deloris managed to steal at least five items from the other residents every day. Sometimes I swore she set goals for herself to see how much crap from others she could stockpile in one day.

  “She walked into my room yesterday and stole the blanket right off my bed!” Wilma said. Her cheeks grew rosy red as she talked and little flicks of spit flew from her mouth. “I jerked it from her hand as soon as I seen her carrying it down the hall like it belonged to her.”

  I pursed my lips together to keep from smiling as I handed her Cora back. “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry, Wilma. Well, at least you got it back, right?”

  Wilma threw her hand into the air as she curled Cora up against her chest. “I guess so. But I did walk right up to her family and tell them they needed to keep her in a place where she could wear a damn leash, because I was sick of my stuff getting stolen.”

  “And what did they say?”

  “Those fuckers just laughed at me.” She rolled her eyes and let out a loud huff before she went back to rocking Cora in her arms. “Which just pissed me off more.”

  “I bet,” I said. I stood and patted her on the shoulder. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that, but I need to make my rounds.”

  Wilma waved me away. “I’ll be here.”

  Chuckling to myself from Wilma’s story, I made my way around the corner to begin my rounds of checking vitals. Pulling my cell from in my pocket, I glanced at the screen, hoping for a text from Jason, but there wasn’t one. It was one thirty. Jason and I were supposed to meet up tonight to have dinner at my sister’s house. It was a family cookout. Bonnie had decided enough time had gone by and that I needed to let Jason meet the family, and let Mom and Dad in on the fact that I was pregnant. The excuse I’d given her over a week ago that I needed to wait and see what things with Jason were going to be like, if we were going to become a couple or if I didn’t think he could hack it, had expired apparently. Even though we’d only been “back together” for a little more than a week now, I was coming up on the nine-week marker…and she was right, it was time I told my parents the news.

  * * * *

  I grabbed the plastic container of deviled eggs with both hands and attempted to maneuver the Jeep door closed with my hip. Jason jogged around and closed the door for me before he took the plate from my hands.

  “I can carry that,” I insisted. “What are you doing?”

  He wasn’t letting me do anything tonight. I’d offered to make the eggs myself, he had to help. I’d offered to drive here in my car, he insisted we take his Jeep instead, knowing I didn’t know how to drive a stick shift. I wasn’t sure what was going on with him.

  “I’ve got it,” he said. “I should be the one carrying the food in.”

  “And why is that?”

  He shrugged. “Because.”

  “Because you need to look like the man?” I knew he would hate those words as soon as they’d fallen from my lips, but I didn’t know how else to word it.

  He stopped and stared at me. “Well…yeah.”

  I rolled my eyes, but didn’t argue with him any further. He was nervous, I could tell, so I’d let his macho man attitude slide, for now. “Whatever, let’s just get this over with.” I was not looking forward to dinner anymore than he was. My mother was unpredictable.

  We stopped in front of my sister’s door and I
spotted Tinley in the window, staring at us. I waved and her smile grew as she hopped off the couch. I knew she was coming to open the door for us.

  “You ready for this?” I asked Jason.

  “I have to be, don’t I?” he said. That was not the answer I was going for and he knew it. “I mean, yeah, I’m ready. Let’s do this.” He threaded his fingers through mine while balancing the plate in his other hand.

  Tinley threw the door open and charged at me. “Aunt B!” Her little arms wrapped around my thighs and suddenly I was glad I wasn’t the one holding the deviled eggs after all.

  “Hey, little bit. Are you ready for tomorrow?” I wrapped my arms around her to return her hug.

  Tinley lifted her face up to look directly at me. “Tomorrow?” she asked.

  Obviously Bonnie hadn’t told her about me coming to pick her up for the day tomorrow. Brice had decided golf was more important than Bonnie’s day at the summer festival after all, so I was watching Tinley. Jason had better never pull that crap on me with our baby.

  “Oh, I guess your mama didn’t tell you,” I said with a smile. “Should I tell her, Jason?” I glanced at him like I was really contemplating whether I should.

  He smiled at me. He knew I was supposed to get Tinley for the day tomorrow, but I don’t think he expected her not to know. This was the fun part of being an aunt, letting the kids in on surprises and not having to deal with all the nagging about when it would be.

  “Yes!” Tinley shouted. Her eyes locked with Jason’s and she began tugging on the leg of his shorts to further exaggerate her point.

  I watched him as he grinned down at her and my heart swelled with joy. What if we were having a baby girl, was this how he would be with her? I hoped so. He had this warm look etched into the contours of his face and his eyes were sparkling as he smiled down at her.

  “Yes, I think you should.” He glanced at me and winked, like he knew all along I would tell her; either that or Tinley had wormed her way into his heart already.

  “Okay, well if Jason thinks I should then…” I paused and motioned for her to come closer, so I could whisper in her ear. “You’re going to spend the day with me tomorrow.”

  “Yay!” Tinley shouted. She clapped her hands and broke out into a big grin.

  “Wow, it’s like you just told her you’re the tooth fairy or something,” Jason whispered against my ear. “And we haven’t even walked in the door yet. Is she always this excited to see you?”

  I nodded. “Of course, I’m Aunt B.”

  Jason grinned and wrapped his free arm around me to pull me in for a hug. As he kissed me on the forehead, Bonnie came around the corner and spotted us in the doorway.

  “Hey, guys,” she said. “Glad you could make it.”

  Her eyes met with mine and I knew with just one look that our parents were not being the best of guests. Again. Sometimes Bonnie and I wondered why they even stayed together—they fought all the time.

  “Yeah, thanks for the invite,” Jason said. “Where should I set these?”

  “Oh, you can set them in the fridge,” Bonnie said. She pointed to where the kitchen was and Jason let go of me to place them in the fridge.

  Bonnie looped her arm through mine as she closed the door behind me. “Well, isn’t he a peach?”

  “What the hell does that mean?” I asked in a hushed whisper. I didn’t want Tinley or Jason to hear.

  Bonnie glared at me. “Chill, preggo. All I mean is that he’s a cutie.”

  I relaxed a little. This whole dinner had me on edge. “Thanks. So, Mom and Dad are at it again, huh?”

  Bonnie waved a hand as we made our way into the kitchen and toward the French doors that led out to the deck and backyard. “You know them, just a small spat. Mom forgot to get beer and all we have are Brice’s Blue Moons.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Great, now Jason gets to see the family the way we really are, a bunch of crazed people who fight all the freaking time over stupid stuff like that. As if he wasn’t nervous enough.”

  “He’s nervous? Aww, how sweet,” Bonnie said. We rounded the corner into the kitchen and I spotted Jason, staring at all the family pictures on Bonnie’s fridge. “Feel free to grab yourself a beer.”

  “Thanks, I’ll just have one,” Jason said to me. He opened the fridge and grabbed one out. “It’s nice to finally meet you, by the way. I’m Jason.”

  “Nice to meet you too.” My sister smiled. “I’m Bonnie.”

  I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten to introduce them. Tinley swept into the room with a picture in her hand. I knew it was for me. She was always coloring me something.

  “Aunt B,” she said. “Here.” She held up the picture and I smiled. It was a picture of a purple elephant with pink grass surrounding it.

  “Aww, thank you. I’ll be sure to put it on my fridge when I get home,” I said. I bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek as I took the picture from her. “Can I set it here for right now?”

  “Sure,” she said. She bolted through the French doors and disappeared into the yard.

  I went to the cabinet beside the sink and pulled out a glass. My mouth had suddenly gone dry. I needed something to drink before I stepped through those doors and introduced Jason to my parents.

  “There’s lemonade in there,” Bonnie said. “I’d better head outside and make sure Tinley isn’t playing too close to the grill.”

  “Where’s Brice?” I asked.

  “Talking with Dad, I’m sure,” Bonnie said as she walked out.

  I poured myself some lemonade and took a long swig. Jason stood leaning up against the counter, his face beaded with a sheen of sweat.

  “Come on,” I said, smiling at him. “Let’s get this over with.”

  We stepped outside and Mom instantly came over and wrapped me in a hug.

  “Oh my word, look at the two of you,” she said. “You look great, Blaire. Wish your father and I could see you more often.”

  And there is was. The first of many jabs she would be taking at me throughout the night.

  “Jesus, Lydia, at least let the girl step through the door before you go harping on her for not coming around as much as you’d like,” Dad shouted from where he sat near Brice and the grill. “Maybe that’s why, because you hover too damn much.”

  “I do not hover, Chad, I mother,” Mom said. She’d spun around to face him, but he’d already turned back to the grill and was taking another swig from his beer.

  Oh my God, this was going to be horrible.

  “Forget him,” Mom said, shifting her attention back to us. “And who is this handsome young man, Blaire? I didn’t know you were finally dating someone.”

  I released a long breath and prayed my words didn’t sound too snippy. “Yeah, I am. This is Jason. Jason Bryant.”

  Mom beamed up at Jason. “Ah, a Bryant, huh? Are you Sharon Bryant’s son?”

  “I am,” Jason said, unfazed by my mother’s horrible behavior. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Hayes.”

  “Nice to meet you too,” Mom said. She started toward the patio set Bonnie and Brice must have pulled into the yard for the cookout, because I remembered it being on their deck last time I was here. “Come sit. Let’s talk.”

  We both followed my mother down the stairs and into the yard. Jason pulled my chair out for me and I sat. Mom sat across from me, her blue eyes the same shade as mine, churning with questions.

  How the hell was I going to make it through this?

  CHAPTER FORTY

  JASON

  I didn’t know who was more nervous in this situation—me or Blaire. All that kept running through my mind was what she had said when we’d had dinner with my mom—how her mom had so many expectations for her daughters and that there was a strong possibility Lydia might not be too thrilled about this entire situation.

  “So, what do you do, Jason? Are you a student?” Lydia asked.

  I swallowed hard and cleared my throat. “I work at Haven Software. I’ll also be internin
g at the children’s home on Woodmont Avenue in about a week.”

  This wasn’t the entire truth, since I wasn’t supposed to start at either place for another week or so, but it was better than saying I worked as a lifeguard at the public pool. Blaire flashed me a quick grin. Guess I’d forgotten to mention over the last week and a half where I worked. She seemed pleased and so did her mom. For the time being. The jobs I’d just listed were better than some my age, so it must count for something.

  “I might be wrong here, but I thought you’d chosen to move away shortly after your father passed,” Lydia said, remaining perfectly poised.

  My heart kick-started. “Yes, ma’am,” I said politely with a little nod. I took a small swig of my beer and saw Blaire’s mother’s eyes take note to the action. “I moved to Tennessee for a while.”

  “Tennessee? What was there?” Lydia asked. Her eyes trained on me like a predator scoping out its prey.

  “Mom, seriously, you don’t need to get so personal.” Blaire chuckled, but it was forced.

  Lydia waved her off. “I’m not getting personal, dear. Jason doesn’t mind, do you? We’re just getting to know one another.”

  “No, Blaire’s right,” Blaire’s dad shouted over his shoulder. “You’re doing that damn nosy thing you do so well, dear.”

  Lydia smacked a hand down on the table. “I am not, Chad. I’m simply getting to know the young man our daughter has chosen to date. If you would ever decide to take an interest in the lives of our children maybe you would know what it looked like when you saw it!”

  “Okay,” Bonnie cut in. Her eyebrows went straight to her hairline as she glanced at Blaire. “First, Dad, could you please cut the cuss words out. Tinley is at the age where she’s starting to pick up that sort of language, which is the last thing I need right now. Second, Mom, maybe your questions are coming off a little personal.”