Lessons Learned

by Amy Lynn Steele

  “Let me talk to him first,” he sighed.

  Both Christina and I nodded, unable or unwilling to move.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Cooper

  Walking to the front door felt like walking death row. Sean knocked again before I answered. When I pulled the door open I pushed myself outside before he could get past me and go inside. He looked like a wreck. His cheeks were flush, his eyes wide and frantic and he was trying to push me out of the way. I put my hands on his chest and tried holding him at bay.

  “Ali has no idea what she was seeing and no right, no right at all, to get involved.” He was pissed.

  “Hey,” I barked before he could say anything he’d later regret about Ali. “Christina showed up here, Ali didn’t call her. She just told us what she saw and kept it as unbiased as she could.”

  He huffed out a skeptical breath. “Yeah, I’m sure she did.”

  “Be careful man, that’s my wife you’re talking about.”

  “Yeah, well my whole world is in there thinking the absolute worst of me because of your wife.”

  “Can I ask you something? Was that Cami from Jumping Beans you told me about the night you found out you were going to be a dad?”

  His face paled and he looked like he was going to be sick. “Yeah, it was, but it’s not what you think either.” He sighed and looked at the door. “I think I’ve loved Christina since the day I met her in the hospital when Ali was having surgery. I just wasn’t ready at the time, but I’m more than ready now. I love her so much I don’t know how I’ve lasted this long without her in my life.”

  I shook my head trying to understand. “Then why did you meet up with Cami?”

  His hazel eyes were filled with doubt and he looked wore down. He opened his mouth then snapped it shut looking up.

  The door opened a crack and Christina stood in the small space. “Cooper, I’d like to talk to Sean for a moment alone.” Her voice was calm, too calm.

  I looked between them and shrugged. I didn’t want to be involved, but it was too late for wishful thinking. Ali and I were knee deep in this now. The shouting started almost instantly as I shut the door.

  “Who the hell is Cami?” I heard Christina demand.

  “I can explain everything, just let me, please Kitten.” Sean pleaded. The voices faded, but not by much, as I sat next to Ali on the sofa.

  “Should we take Joel upstairs so he can sleep?” She glanced from the baby to the door.

  Their voices rose and fell, Christina’s rising and Sean’s falling. “Yeah, let’s let my namesake get some rest.”

  Ali smiled and laughed. “Middle name sake,” she reminded me.

  “Stop being jealous,” I chided her.

  We got Joel comfortable in our bed, Ali happily cuddling next to him. Within minutes they were both sound asleep. When I knew they were both settled, I went downstairs to play referee to our closest friends. As I tromped down the stairs I was surprised to find a tear streaked Christina in the armchair. She glanced up and I slowed my pace at the look in her eyes, despair. She sat up a little straighter and wiped her fingers over her eyes.

  “Is Joel asleep?” Her voice raw.

  “Yeah, with Allison.” I looked around the room then glanced to the front door.

  “He might still be out there, I don’t know.” Her lip trembled. “I started to let him tell me his side, how running to get us coffee ended in,” she paused and spread her arms out in front of her, “this.”

  “Did he tell you what happened?” I hoped my friend got to defend himself.

  “Well, his story started with him showing up at Jumping Beans, Cami bringing him the coffees he ordered and how she kissed him.”

  I wanted to say something, but my mouth just kept opening and closing. I gaped at Christina like a fish out of water. “Then what?” I finally managed.

  “Then what?” She laughed coldly. “Then I slapped him, told him to bring some things from home for Joel and I, and locked the door behind me.”

  I immediately wanted to jump to my feet and see if Sean was outside. I needed to get to the bottom of this. But one look at the woman across from me made me think twice. I knew Sean was crazy about Christina after all I had never seen him like this with anyone before, but he now seemed even more so because of little Joel. He was in love with the mother of his child as much as he was with the child himself. I glanced at the door.

  Christina shook her head. “Go check on him.”

  I jumped to my feet as though I’d been electrocuted and fled to the door. I went outside, but Sean was nowhere to be seen. I pulled my phone from my back pocket and dialed his number. It rang once then went to voicemail. I tried again and got the same response. I walked around the side of the condo instead of daring to walk back through the living room and face Christina. I sent Ali a text to let her know where I was going, hoping it wouldn’t wake her or Joel up. Then I got in the car and made my way to Sean’s.

  His car was in the driveway but he wasn’t in it. He couldn’t have been too far in front of me. I didn’t even bother knocking on the door because I knew he wouldn’t answer. I used my set of keys to let myself in. The house was silent. I checked the kitchen and then the backyard, but both were empty. The living room was also abandoned, as was his office. I know he had to be here somewhere.

  When I found him he was in the glider in the nursery, blindly looking around the room, holding a small stuffed bunny. Neither of us spoke, Sean looked broken as his fingers squeezed the little toy in his hands. I finally crept into the room and sat on the floor near the crib. He glanced up at me.

  “I’m sorry for what I was saying or implying about Ali. She didn’t do anything wrong.”

  The silence held for a few more minutes. “Do you want to tell me what she saw, or thought she saw, this morning?”

  More silence apart from a soft clicking from the huge clock that hung on the living room wall.

  “I’ve seen Cami in passing a few times over the last couple of months,” his voice lifeless. “She knows that I love Christina and is aware of Joel,” his eyes softening at mentioning them. “Then today out of nowhere she kissed me,” his words rising.

  “Did she think you might still be interested from all the times you said you’ve seen her?” I thought Sean and I were closer than this. It shocked and hurt that this was the first I was hearing about it.

  “I had very important reasons for bumping into her all those times.”

  “So they were planned run-ins?”

  “Yes, but not for the reasons you might be thinking.”

  I sighed. “You have to tell me what’s going on man. You sound like you were up to no good.” Allison’s comment about him being like his father didn’t seem too off base right now.

  “I saw my dad in a restaurant a few months ago, right after I found out about Christina being pregnant,” his voice shaking. “I was so stunned that I just kinda froze. It had been years since I’d heard from him. He was having lunch near my office downtown. He was so close to me and I bet it never even occurred to him to stop and see his only son.”

  “Did you say anything to him?” My heart was pounding in my chest.

  “I couldn’t even move, man,” his eyes wandering back around the room. “Then I noticed that someone was eating with him.”

  I felt like I was in a suspense movie, my muscles tightened and anxiety plagued my stomach. Sean shook his head at the memory that was still so fresh for him.

  “What did you do?” I encouraged him.

  “I took a seat in the bar and watched them.”

  “Who was with him, Sean?” I couldn’t help asking.

  He looked sick when his eyes finally connected with mine. “Cami.”

  His words felt like a slap in the face. “Your dad is sleeping with her?”

  He shook his head. “Things would have been so much easier if that were the case. At the end of the meal he handed her a gift that she immediately tore open. I thought he was her sugar daddy
and was giving his play thing something shiny, but that wasn’t it. After she opened it she stood up and hugged him,” he took a moment to catch his breath. “She said ‘Thank you so much daddy! I love my birthday gift. You are the best dad in the world.’”

  My jaw dropped open. “Dad, as in…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence out loud.

  “I have a sister and it just so happens to be Cami from Jumping Beans.” He shook his head and a sad smile touched his lips. “Good God I almost dated my sister!”

  We both let out tension-filled laughter that eventually turned into the real thing. “Looks like Christina saved you from a real disaster,” I said as I wiped tears of laughter from my eyes. Sean looked at the stuffed animal in his hands at the mention of Christina’s name.

  “That’s why you kept bumping into her, your sister.” Sean nodded. “But then why didn’t you just tell Christina all of this?”

  Something close to fear touched the light in Sean’s eyes, no not fear, rejection. “Well, if I’m being completely honest, I guess I thought it might change the way she feels about me. All of those years of being rejected by someone I wanted desperately to love me never went away. I doubted everything. Me and Christina. Hell, I didn’t even want to tell you Coop.”

  “I wish you would have,” I said gently. “You didn’t have to go through any of this alone.”

  Sean sighed. “Hindsight and all that.” He looked from the stuffed bunny to me. “I wanted to shield Joel from all of this. I never wanted him to know what a bastard my dad was, or what I feared I could end up being.”

  “Sean, you aren’t him.” I’ve been telling him this for years, hoping one day he’ll actually hear me.

  He just shook his head, my words not getting though to him.

  “Did you try to tell Cami who you were?” I steered our conversation down a different path.

  “Yeah, I wanted to find a way to tell her and get to know her, but it is a hard thing to say. Then I just kind of became obsessed. Not just about who she was, but what made her so special that my dad not only remembered her birthday, but celebrated it?”

  The hurt was so clear in his words that it broke my heart for my friend. His birthday was in February and occasionally he’d get cards from his dad in June. So, seeing his estranged father celebrating an unknown sibling’s birthday must have cut him to the core.

  “Then I started to try to see myself in her. I wanted to see if we had any characteristics that made us look related. Hair color, eye shape and color. It was all there.”

  “So you ran into Cami a lot and would stare at her and ask her a lot of questions.”

  Sean squinted and squirmed in the chair. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

  “I’m guessing Cami misread your frequent rendezvous and longing stares?”

  Sean’s cheeks colored as he sat back in the glider. “Yeah, very much so, as I learned today.”

  “Come on man, you had to know she thought you were into her.”

  “I didn’t think of it because all I could see when I looked at her was my sister!”

  “But she kissed you?” I didn’t have any siblings myself, but the thought made me cringe.

  Sean was shaking his head. “Yeah, I went to get Christina and I coffee this morning. When they were ready Cami brought them over to me and just,” he paused, “just went for it. I stood there, totally shocked. That’s when I set her down and told her everything.”

  “That must have been an awkward conversation.” I couldn’t even imagine.

  “Yeah, she was pretty shocked to say the least. Especially since she’d grown up thinking she was an only child.” Sean was rocking absentmindedly in the glider. “She just lost it man. Her whole world upside-down because of our father. That’s when Ali saw us.”

  I understood why he had done what he did, but Cami hadn’t had any idea. Neither did Christina. I sighed and looked around the room. The walls, with my help, had been painted a light blue on the top half of the wall, a dark blue on the bottom. Separating the two colors was a white border with surfboards printed on it. Above the dark wood crib hung a wooden surf board with Joel painted on it. The room was fresh and cozy, evidence that Christina and Sean had put a lot of time making it perfect.

  “What are you going to do about Christina?” I finally asked him.

  “She asked me to bring some of Joel’s things over so she could stay with you guys.”

  I shook my head knowing that wasn’t the answer. “Okay, but what are you going to do? She’d understand if you explained.”

  Sean suddenly stood from the chair and quickly walked out of the nursery. My eyes followed him, but I didn’t. A moment later he was back. He had a look on his face that I’d only seen a handful of times. It was a look that showed he was going to get what he wanted and wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He held a small velvet box in one hand and raised it above his head, the small bunny still clutched in the other hanging at his side.

  “I’m going to get my woman and my baby and bring them home where they belong.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Allison

  While Christina was feeding Joel I left the room to take a phone call from Cooper. She looked almost peaceful as I left them in the living room to take the call on the patio.

  “Hey, is everything all right?” I answered.

  “I think it’s going to be. We are on our way back now. Sean explained it all to me and it isn’t what any of us thought.” Cooper told me.

  I felt the skepticism building. “He kissed her.” I reminded him.

  “No, trust me,” Cooper laughed. “He didn’t.”

  As he drove home, Cooper relayed to me all he had learned. About Sean’s dad and how much the man had hurt him over the years. He explained Sean’s self doubt and fear of being a bad father. Cooper then told me about Cami and who she was. Sean’s sister. He had been right, Sean didn’t kiss her.

  “What can I do?”

  “I need you to keep Christina calm enough to let Sean explain.” Oh, just that. How about I go ahead and cure world hunger while I’m at it.

  I heard the garage door open, letting me know Cooper was home. I met him at the driver’s side door. Sean stood silhouetted in our open garage, arms folded. “I’ll go get the baby so you can talk to Christina,” I finally said.

  The guys waited in the garage while I went in. Christina was speaking quietly to Joel, rocking him side to side. He let out little cries as she adjusted him.

  “He is fussy tonight,” Christina commented when she saw me.

  “Because he needs his Auntie Ali,” I cooed, gladly taking him from her.

  “No, he needs his daddy,” Sean said from behind me.

  For a moment Christina looked relieved that he was back. But then her green eyes darkened and her pupils dilated. Joel let out a sharp wail and Coop came to our side. Without a word he ushered us outside. The cooler air seemed to calm the baby, but he didn’t stop fussing. Cooper took him from me and put him to his shoulder. This seemed to calm him a little.

  “I think everything is going to be all right little guy,” Cooper whispered in our nephew’s ear.

  It was fairly quiet inside, which was a good sign considering the yelling warfare we experienced earlier. It had been a long day for all of us and it was starting to weigh on me. I sat in a chaise lounge and stretched out my legs, yawning. Cooper and Joel sat near my legs. The minutes felt like hours and I realized why.

  “I am starving.” I announced and dared a glance toward the kitchen hoping that food would magically appear in front of me.

  Cooper laughed and touched my leg. “I think once he explains you’ll be able to go inside and get something to eat.”

  On cue my stomach growled. “I hope so. I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”

  A smile spread over Cooper’s face. “I don’t think you’ll have too much longer, you ravenous girl.” He nodded toward the window.

  I turned to see what he was talking about. Sean was tou
ching Christina’s cheek softly and it was obvious they had both been crying. He was talking and she nodded her head. Then Christina’s hands flew to cover her mouth. At the same time, Sean knelt in front of her and held a small black box up. She was nodding her head and he was smiling. I watched awestruck as he slipped a ring on her finger. He stood up quickly and pulled her into a fierce hug.

  “Did he just,” my voice trailing off.

  “It appears so,” Cooper said smiling and bouncing a now happy baby.

  The newly engaged couple kissed then came outside to join us. There were lots of hugs and lots of tears. Sean took Joel from Cooper and held the baby to his chest. Sean kissed his son and then put his arm around his fiancé. I haven’t seen either of them look happier than they did at this moment. My heart was filled with so much joy that it leaked out through my eyes.

  “I am so happy, but I’m so tired.” Christina said with fresh tears forming in her eyes.

  I wanted them to stay and celebrate, but the new parents needed to be alone. Cooper moved Sean’s car into the garage so he and Christina could ride together. Coop and I stood in the street until their taillights disappeared around the corner. His arm slipped around my shoulder and he kissed the top of my head.

  “How about we get Italian food for dinner?” He suggested.

  “I knew there was a reason I loved you so much,” I pressed to my toes to kiss his cheek.

  The following Monday I lay in our bed and watched Cooper get ready for his first day at the cooperate office of Los Jalapeños. He was wearing a dark charcoal suit, white shirt and a light blue tie that matched his eyes perfectly. He looked incredibly handsome, but I knew his heart was with his students. It reminded me of walking into class when I realized he was going to be my teacher. He had been doing what he had always dreamed of doing, but the circumstances were almost unbearable. That first day he had worn a similar suit as he stood in front of the class of seniors. He had looked more mature that way, though he was only a few years older than most of the student body. After the first week or so he started to wear more casual clothes, and found that he almost instantly became more approachable. Especially by the female students.