by Susan Laine
Ruben sauntered to stand at his side. “Um, when Ben was nineteen and I was fifteen. His first show.” Ruben brushed the picture tenderly, smiling. “He was so nervous, but he couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot the whole night. It was one of the first times I got to witness the impact art could have on people, how it provoked and evoked emotional responses and even physical reactions. Heady stuff.”
“Ben’s your inspiration?” Duncan’s gaze bore into Ruben. Damn, how perceptive that man was, seeing to the heart of things so easily. “I have a feeling it wasn’t the fame you liked, not the way he does.”
“Ben’s not a glory hog,” Ruben protested, defending his big brother. “He appreciates the fact that there can be fame and wealth by being an artist. But that’s not why he’s into it, either.”
“Check.” Duncan’s wink and grin was lighthearted, and Ruben was at ease once more. “I don’t want to sound like a broken record or step over any lines here, as it is a personal matter, but, uh… I think you might want to reconsider letting Ben be a part of your life again. I mean, here, specifically. I got the impression he misses you.”
If that was true—and Ruben believed Duncan—then it was a feeling he shared with his brother. Duncan was right. Maybe it was high time Ruben patched things up with Benjamin. He missed Ben anyway. His brother being busy was just an excuse Ruben told himself.
“You’re right. I think I will.” Then Ruben met Duncan’s eyes. “But not tonight.”
Duncan placed the picture back on the dresser carefully and smiled at Ruben. “No, not tonight. We have, um, other plans.”
“How eloquently put,” Ruben teased. That startled him more than Duncan. Ruben had never played this game, lovingly teasing a friend and partner. He’d never had a friend or a partner, not since he was a kid in school. Briefly, he wondered where those people were now.
“I do work for a publisher, you know,” Duncan needled right back, chuckling.
“Because the two are always related, huh?”
Duncan’s eyes narrowed, but Ruben saw he was trifling with him. “Smartass.”
Ruben’s eyes widened. No one had ever called him that, not even Benjamin. Duncan was clearly settling in, offering him normalcy and familiarity. “Pedantic, relentless—”
He didn’t get any further as Duncan cupped Ruben’s face and dipped down for a kiss. And this time it wasn’t a peck on the cheek or a chaste, closemouthed smooch, either. No, this was a prolonged, soul-stealing kiss that left Ruben weak in the knees and caused his heart to miss a beat.
Tired of being afraid, Ruben had no desire to revert back to his yesterday self, when his phobias ruled his life. With a newfound confidence, he met up with his future self, a strong and sensual young man who was in capable hands, and he let go.
Ruben wrapped his arms around Duncan’s neck, then threaded his fingers through the thick blond mane and felt the corded muscles of Duncan’s neck and upper back jump. Duncan was big and strong, like granite, but he had a grace of movement and gentleness of gestures that spoke of his true nature.
Right now, Duncan’s mission seemed to be to ravish Ruben’s mouth with his own. It was a claiming of sorts, Ruben realized, passionate and fierce. But there wasn’t even a trace of the kind of violence Ruben had come to associate with sex. Duncan would be kind and considerate and loving, he knew, and so he let the man kiss him breathless.
When Duncan finally drew back, his chest was heaving, his clothes were rumpled, his skin flushed, and his pupils blown black. Ruben just knew he sported the same look.
Duncan brushed his thumb across Ruben’s bottom lip, now sensitized by the nipping and sucking. Ruben’s lips tingled all over. He really loved kissing. “You okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No.” Ruben shook his head, smiling, chasing after the thumb touching him. “More, please.”
At first relieved, Duncan then grinned salaciously and murmured, “My pleasure.”
The second that wicked, slick tongue touched his, Ruben had to clutch Duncan’s body hard to prevent himself from falling. Duncan wound his thickly muscled arms around Ruben’s more slender frame, holding him up. Their tongues danced and entwined, hot and wet and slippery. God, I adore kissing. Kissing him.
Then Ruben felt Duncan’s fingers scraping over his bare back, having snuck under his sweater and T-shirt.
He stiffened in surprise. Ruben had known to expect it, yet the touch was… new.
Duncan stopped the kiss and his hands. “Want me to stop?”
For Ruben, he had idealized this momentous occasion as a metaphorical release from the past.
Now he knew it was more than that. Ruben was going to be naked in front of his lover, physically exposed to another man’s hungry and lustful gaze. As much as that excited him, it also frightened him.
He swallowed hard, nodding slowly. “I’m… I’ll be fine.” Duncan began to pull away, but Ruben kept him close, digging his fingers into Duncan’s shirt and the flesh beneath. When Duncan stopped moving away, Ruben tugged on the man’s cream-colored silk tie, loosening the knot slowly to give his hands something to do. “I am ready, Duncan. I knew you would… touch me, and see me. I just… I was surprised by the reality of it, is all.”
Duncan rested his hands on the small of Ruben’s back, so clearly he hadn’t decided what to do. “The last thing I want is to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable.”
“I know.” Ruben nodded, offering a smile. “Just go slow, okay? Give me time to, um, grow accustomed to it. Last time I was touched….” He swallowed down the lump in his throat. “It wasn’t nice.”
Duncan leaned forward, resting his forehead against Ruben’s. “I know.” He took a deep breath. “All right. How about I go first?”
Ruben frowned. Go first where?
Duncan chuckled, apparently reading Ruben like an open book. “I mean, what if I go first and undress? Then you can decide how far you want to go, how much you want to show of yourself. How does that sound?”
Obviously, Duncan was a prince among men, Ruben thought. “A-all right….” Wanting to see the man naked was just a bonus, right?
Ruben kept ahold of Duncan’s tie while Duncan popped open the buttons of his dress shirt, natural white, wrinkled now after their embrace. “Want me to keep that on?”
Duncan was referring to the tie, and Ruben blushed, because that was what he wished. “Yes.”
Bowing his head slightly to acknowledge the request, Duncan opened his shirt, teasing Ruben with his deliberate dawdling. Then he revealed his chiseled, muscular chest, with a dusting of blond hairs around his pink nipples and between his pecs, and a thinner, arrow-like trail leading down from his navel to disappear under the waistband of his blue jeans.
By then, Ruben was having a hard time breathing, and his heart thundered.
“Take the shirt off me,” Duncan whispered. Was it an order or a request?
Either way, Ruben obeyed. He released the tie, pressed his hands on Duncan’s bulging pecs, and then slid them higher, to his wide shoulders, to push the shirt off. The piece of clothing fell to the floor with a soft thump.
Ruben inhaled sharply, his eyes wide as he took in the gorgeous sight of Duncan half-naked. “Y-you’re b-beautiful…,” he murmured. He caressed the expanse of skin, muscle, and tendon before him, using only his fingertips. A part of him worried if he tried to grab this sexy man tighter, Duncan would vanish before his very eyes, a mere phantasm of Ruben’s dreams.
Duncan made that humming sound Ruben loved hearing. “Mmm, when you touch me, it feels like flames kissing my flesh.” He placed his hands on Ruben’s hips and pulled him slightly closer until their groins were in contact again. Ruben was erect in his pants, and the hard outline of Duncan’s cock was also evident, even through the layer of denim.
Biting his lower lip to stop himself from moaning out loud, Ruben inched his fingers lower until he reached Duncan’s jeans. “You’re wearing jeans today.” It felt like a silly thing to say, but he coul
dn’t very well take them back anymore.
“Casual Friday,” Duncan retorted simply. Ruben didn’t think the man would ever make fun of anyone. “The tie, though? Well, I guess I’ve just grown used to wearing one.”
“I like it.” Ruben gripped the silk tie carefully, not wanting to wrinkle it too much. The silk felt like water as it ran through his fingers. “It’s sexy.”
“In that case, that’ll be all I wear tonight.”
Ruben didn’t look up at that remark, but he could feel the grin on Duncan’s face. He said nothing, either. The promise spoke for itself.
Gathering his inner courage, Ruben fumbled with the buttons of Duncan’s jeans. There was no zipper, just a row of buttons. His hands shook, and he was having a hard time with it. But then Duncan moved his hands up Ruben’s arms to his shoulders, and gently massaged, relaxing him and soothing his frayed nerves. Who knew first times would be this stressful?
Finally, the fly was undone, and Duncan’s hard cock pushed the flaps open further, as if wishing to reach Ruben faster, with determination. Ruben stared. The tight black boxer briefs Duncan wore barely kept his dick at bay, the beast visibly twitching and growing. Ruben stared some more.
Duncan didn’t rush Ruben, even though Ruben could see how aroused his man was. This made it easier for Ruben to place his hand over the hot piece of meat. He splayed his fingers to cover more ground, wrapped them around the erection, and squeezed ever so lightly.
A hushed groan emerged from Duncan. Ruben looked up, startled. Duncan’s eyes had closed, and his rapturous expression of pleasure mesmerized Ruben. “Oh, Ruben, yes.” The words were a mere whisper, a sound unlike any Ruben had heard before, so soft and sensual he fell in love with Duncan all over again.
The wanton declaration of desire made Ruben bolder. He sunk to his knees, grabbed Duncan’s jeans, and tugged them and his underwear down shyly but certainly. All of Duncan’s glory was now in plain sight: the shorn golden pubes, the long fat cock with pulsating veins and a plump, purple cockhead, and the magenta-colored balls, big and weighty, sprinkled with a few golden hairs.
“Oh.” Ruben wasn’t aware of speaking until the sound reached his consciousness.
“Oh good, or oh bad?”
Ruben glanced up, blinking, and saw Duncan look down at him, smiling tentatively, as if he wasn’t sure at all how Ruben would react.
But all Ruben saw was beauty. “Oh, perfect.”
Duncan flushed, from the compliment or from arousal, Ruben didn’t know. “Come up here, love. I want to kiss you.”
Cocking his head, Ruben felt like teasing. “You can kiss me anytime. Can’t I kiss you now?”
Duncan chuckled and gave a barely perceptible chin lift. “Come up here, then.”
“I wasn’t talking about your lips.”
Ruben both saw and heard Duncan gulp, apparently speechless.
Remembering vividly the amazing sensation of Duncan kissing the tip of his penis, Ruben wanted to try the same with his lover. He wasn’t sure he could do a blowjob. Having gotten one didn’t exactly prepare him to do it himself to another. But kissing he could do. And tasting Duncan was a bonus.
With a shaky hand, he gripped the base of Duncan’s cock. The member jumped in his hand, the pulse quickening, the heat almost unbearable. Waiting for the panic tidal wave to rise and drown him, Ruben sat on his haunches, watched the flaring crown redden deeper and the shaft swell and grow.
But… the panic didn’t come. Every familiar symptom—rapid pulse, furious heartbeat, dizzy head, breathlessness—all those were the result of his sexual awakening, not of an impending panic attack. This Ruben concluded because for minutes now he had been staring at Duncan’s cock, and nothing bad had happened.
“I’m all right.” He spoke more to himself than to Duncan. Still, he felt Duncan caress his cheekbone tenderly, another unspoken reassurance. I guess I’m not afraid of sex anymore. That was a remarkable, arresting epiphany, and Ruben all but bounced on his heels with happiness.
“You’re so much better than all right.” Duncan said it with humor, but Ruben took the compliment nonetheless and tucked it inside his heart for safekeeping.
Ruben leaned forward and inhaled. Male musk was pungent this close, as was fresh sweat and the faint odor of bergamot soap. The heat Duncan’s dick was radiating made Ruben salivate, as though he were a hungry dog after a boner.
Then he couldn’t bear to wait any longer.
He placed a soft kiss over the crown of Duncan’s penis. He didn’t open his mouth to do so. The skin was smoldering hot and silky. Duncan let out a sigh, and his hips bucked, and his cock jumped in Ruben’s grasp. Ruben licked his lips, and a curious flavor—a mix of salty, sugary, and bitter—awakened his taste buds. He savored it on his tongue, knowing this was Duncan’s precome even before he saw a new, translucent pearl gathering on the slit.
“Beautiful,” Ruben whispered in awe. To be aware that he was the cause of Duncan’s arousal made his stomach flutter.
He kissed Duncan’s cock again, opening his mouth more this time, and let his tongue sweep over the slit and around the ridge. Duncan trembled and moaned. His hand cupping Ruben’s cheek shifted to rake through his dark hair. But Duncan put no pressure on Ruben, as he simply held on to him.
That sign was all Ruben needed to feel brave enough to wrap his lips around the head of Duncan’s penis and suckle, mimicking the way he recalled his lover doing to him.
The response was quick and startling.
Duncan shivered all over and murmured inaudible endearments and encouragements.
Quite proud of his accomplishment, giving his first blowjob ever, Ruben was surprised when Duncan gripped his arms and pulled him up on his feet. “D-did I do something wrong…?”
Duncan’s eyes were wild in a way Ruben had never seen. The man shook his head so fiercely his blond locks waved about. “God, no. Shit. I was five seconds away from coming.”
That made Ruben stand up straighter, pleased beyond belief. “R-really?”
Duncan was breathing heavily, his pulse visible on his throat. “Hell yeah. Such sweet torture. I honestly couldn’t have taken more without coming all over your face.”
That image made Ruben blink hard—and damn near come in his pants. “Um, okay.” Was it all right for him to want to experience that one day? It didn’t make him a wanton pleasure slut, did it? Ruben had never done anything. And here he was, at twenty-two, with a hot guy in his bedroom, ready, willing, and able. He’d be crazy not to act on it, let alone feel… horny.
That was a new feeling. Being horny. Ruben awoke with a boner most mornings, just like he assumed most guys did, but it was a physical reaction that he had no control over and one he could easily get rid of. It never rocked his world, and it never made him feel the need to have a guy share it with him. Not like that, anyway.
But what he was experiencing now wasn’t a morning stiffy. This was arousal brought on by another man—and that was something Ruben had always wanted. Even though it frightened him immensely.
Well, he wasn’t afraid with Duncan, so that was good.
Then Duncan kissed him, and Ruben opened up to him. That questing tongue explored Ruben’s mouth as if it were a treasure trove, plundering and delving deep. Ruben twined his own tongue around Duncan’s. It was soft, slick, hot. Duncan was making love to Ruben’s mouth, there was no other way to put it.
When Duncan pulled away, he looked at Ruben with a question. The question Ruben had known was coming. “Can I see you?”
Chapter 15
YES. NO. Yes. No. Ruben felt torn, conflicted. He opened and closed his mouth, trying desperately to find the right words.
Duncan smiled softly. “It’s all right if you’re not ready. I promise you it’s all right.”
“I do want to,” Ruben insisted. And it was true—to an extent. He worried his bottom lip, furious with himself. Why couldn’t he let this wonderful man see him naked? Ruben had seen himself nude in the mirror every da
y. He wasn’t bad-looking. Maybe a tad skinny and awfully pale, but cute in a twink sort of way.
And Duncan already liked him, so what was the problem?
“I don’t doubt your willingness, Ruben.” Duncan’s voice was soothing again, as if he were talking to a frightened animal. And that wasn’t far off the mark, Ruben thought. “But it’s still all right for you to have doubts. We don’t have to—”
“No! I want to—” Ruben heard the shrill tone of his own voice and closed his eyes to calm himself. He took a few breaths to ease the tension. And that’s when he knew what to do. He opened his eyes to find a worried Duncan in front of him. “Wait here. Don’t go anywhere.”
When Duncan quirked a surprised eyebrow, Ruben fled the room. He ran downstairs to the foyer where he had left it, picked it up, and dashed back up to his bedroom. There he walked right up to Duncan and offered the black piece of cloth to him again.
“It helps when I can’t see.”
Duncan stared down at the blindfold in his hand, as if weighing it and the implications of Ruben’s suggestion. Then he gave an almost imperceptible nod. “Okay. Turn around.”
Ruben did as he was instructed, whirled on his heels, and allowed Duncan to put the blindfold back over his eyes. The moment he couldn’t see, with the black veil blocking everything out, he knew he had made the right decision. The feel of Duncan’s warmth and solidity at his back eased the tension in his muscles and released the knots in his stomach and his nerves.
A few inhales and exhales later, he swiveled back to face Duncan—even though he couldn’t see him—and said, “It’s better now. Not so nervous.”
“That’s good.” Duncan was a steady rock, his voice husky but unwavering. “You sure, Ruben? I’m a patient man. I can wait forever if need be.”
In his state of voluntary blindness, Ruben felt audacious enough to be a bit flippant. He snorted loudly. “You may be as patient as the earth and the sky. I’m not. I want you now, not… an eternity later. Tonight.” There was a kind of freedom in this loss of a sense, Ruben reflected. He could do or say whatever his libido desired. He felt uninhibited in his body that he couldn’t see. He felt erotic, as though he were an object of desire for a man he trusted, someone who would give him pleasure and be pleasured in return. Ruben could let his mouth taste, his hands roam, his body covet. Duncan would let him.