Broken Butterfly

by Cindy Patterson

  Mallory paused, memories of Dragonfly promising the same thing trudging through her thoughts. “Things were better for a while. He started dating someone and stayed preoccupied with her. But then they broke up, and his rage increased. After telling me he was only using her to make me jealous, he threatened to kick me out if I didn’t stop pretending I had no feelings for him.”

  Crushing weight lifted from her chest with each word, and she couldn’t stop. “He gave me a place to live for all those years. Being on the streets gave me a new perspective. I believed I owed it to him. Pretending became easier with time, and I let him …”

  She shook the memory free and cleared her throat.

  “I thought I could learn to love him. All that mattered was keeping him happy, so he wouldn’t lose his temper. I was pregnant. I kept it from him until I started showing. He wanted me to have an abortion. No matter how bad I felt, or how much I wanted a way out, I was stuck, but I couldn’t kill the baby.”

  She glanced at her flat belly. “I didn’t believe the child growing in me should suffer for my mistakes. Jake planned to take me to the clinic the next day, so I snuck out in the middle of the night. I hid in a neighbor’s playhouse and slept on the ground for a few hours. Before sunrise, I found a women’s shelter, and they had one spot available.”

  Rachel’s gaze was glued to hers, her frown deepening.

  “I was only there a few weeks before Jake caught me outside hanging laundry on the line. He snatched me into the woods, his breath reeking of alcohol.”

  Rachel leaned back hard, her chair sliding across the tile. “Oh no!”

  “A few days later, a friend of his stopped by. As soon as he left, Jake accused me of secretly seeing him while he was working and beat me unconscious, then left. My neighbor heard the screaming and came to check on me. She found me on the kitchen floor and drove me to the hospital. She checked me in under a different name. I woke up to find out I’d lost the baby.”

  A spring of tears erupted.

  “I stayed in the hospital a few days, and then my neighbor took me to a shelter outside of town until he found me. That’s when I met Nancy.”

  Unmoving, Rachel stared, her face scrunched as if in pain, her lips parted.

  Stinging tears filled Mallory’s eyes, and she blinked them away. “I can’t believe I just told you all that.” What will she think of me now?

  Rachel stood, running her hand through her hair. “I had no idea. I wish there was something I could do.”

  “You’ve done so much for me.” Mallory shifted. “If you feel uncomfortable letting me stay here, I promise I’ll understand.”

  “No.” Rachel walked around the table and placed a hand on Mallory’s shoulder. “I want you to stay. Besides, Jake hasn’t been back to the Chamberlain’s.”

  It didn’t matter. He was still watching—waiting for her return. There was no doubt. “That’s why I hid at Mary’s … Why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to drag any of you into this.” Mallory held her head in her hands. “He won’t stop until he finds me.”

  Eric jogged to his truck, frigid wind whipping through his hair. What was he going to do with all this information? How could he leave knowing the danger Mallory faced? He had stepped back inside to get his cell phone. He didn’t want to eavesdrop on their conversation, but when Mallory said Jake’s name, he froze.

  The guilt of listening had worsened by the second, but a force stronger than his conscience kept him from making his presence known.

  Thirty-Two

  Mallory blinked away fresh tears as she stood. “Can I get something to drink now?”

  “Of course.” Rachel grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and filled them with sweet tea.

  The community drama group would take her mind off Jake. She could pretend she was someone else for a while—pretend she was safe. “When’s the next practice?” she asked Rachel, before changing her mind.

  “Tomorrow, but Mallory, I don’t want you to feel like you have to go.” She tried to smile, but seemed to struggle as if it would be an offense. It was so different from her usual, dazzling smile that could brighten a dull room.

  “I know.” I’ve said too much. What if she never looks at me the same? Mallory pushed the haunting thoughts away. “I’ll go to practice. I just won’t promise anything yet.”

  “I’m so glad you’re here.” Rachel hugged her. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I can’t imagine how you must have felt when he showed up.”

  Mallory held in the broken sob. “You’re a great friend.”

  “You are one of the very best friends I’ve ever had, and I’m so glad God brought you to Paradise. I believe with all my heart he placed you here for a reason. I’m glad you’re staying. We’re going to have so much fun.” A full smile filled Rachel’s lips, and Mallory breathed a sigh of relief.

  Sunday morning after church they headed to the theater center. She hadn’t been there in so long and relished the idea of acting, even if only a short while. The familiar group of people she’d spent so much time with clapped when she entered.

  Every pair of eyes seemed to be on her. She bit her quivering lip.

  Jonathan strode through the crowd toward her. “Mallory, you’re back. Please tell me you’re here to play Elizabeth.”

  Mallory nodded.

  Jonathan grabbed a microphone. “Team, we have our Elizabeth. Get out your scripts, and let’s get to work.”

  Mallory practiced scenes with Rachel, Kelli, and Andrew until the end when she and Eric were thrown together.

  “Turn to scene fifteen. Mr. Darcy asks Elizabeth to dance at Mr. Bingley’s ball. Start at the beginning.” Jonathan’s gaze bounced between her, Eric, and the script.

  The few lines they spoke were easy, but trying to keep her face straight wasn’t. Eric stared at her with no smile, and she burst into laughter out of place. After working for a few minutes on the script, Jonathan led a few of them to center stage to learn the dance.

  Mallory stood adjacent to Eric and then they circled each other and moved to opposite sides. Keeping her gaze locked with his, she mimicked his motions, struggling to think rationally.

  At the end of practice, Mallory grabbed her script and jacket. “How do you do that?”

  Eric watched her. “What?”

  “Say your lines without cracking a smile.”

  “I don’t know.” His lips parted in a playful grin as he inched closer. “Something happens when we’re standing face to face.”

  Easy laughter slid from her lips, her skin tingling from the remembrance of his touch.

  “We’ll practice every night this week.” Jonathan spoke into the microphone grabbing her attention. “Work hard memorizing your lines. See you tomorrow at seven. Great job, guys.”

  Early the next morning, Mallory hurried to Eric’s truck when he arrived to pick her up. She shivered as she closed the truck door, warm air from the vents sweeping over her. “It’s so warm in here.”

  “Are you excited?”

  “Yes, I can’t wait to meet the children.” She squeezed her hands together, warming her cool fingers. “I hope they like me.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that. They’ll love you.” He turned to her. “What time do you get off?”

  Her smile swelled. “I don’t know.”

  He laughed and the sound echoed through the truck. She angled her body toward him.

  “I’ll talk to Mr. Chamberlain and be back to pick you up.”

  Mallory studied the tiny lines surrounding his lips. She didn’t argue—she wanted to see him again.

  The receptionist led Mallory to a large auditorium where children sat in the first few rows. Mr. Chamberlain stood among some adults at the front. The lady led her toward them as he walked in their direction.

  Mr. Chamberlain put an arm around her. Mallory blushed at his
public display of affection.

  “Come, Mallory.”

  Mallory followed him to the front and took the steps leading onto the stage.

  “Children, I want to introduce Miss Mallory. She’ll be your new group activity leader.”

  Mallory examined the variety of faces as they stared back at her. Some had frightened eyes, others angry and hurt. Toothless grins slipped across the mouths of a few of the smaller ones. One child sat with her hands crossed in her laps, her lips stuck in a permanent frown. She wanted to go to the girl and wrap her in a hug—to take away her fear, her pain, and give her hope.

  Taking in as many of their faces as she could, she gave them her fullest smile. Leaving the stage, she followed Mr. Chamberlain to his office. “They’re precious.”

  “Yes, they are.” He spread out his hands. “What do you think?”

  “I’m going to love working with them.”

  “No, I mean your office?”

  “This is mine?” Mallory took in everything from a different perspective. A plate with her name written in bold letters, she hadn’t noticed before, sat on the edge of the desk. A computer was set in the middle surrounded by notepads, pens, and pencils. A large leather chair scooted under the desk sat on a rubber mat. A variety of bright butterfly pictures graced the walls. It was perfect.

  She sat down for the very first time at her desk.

  “You’ll work until two, so you’ll be free to take classes or whatever else you want to do in the afternoons.”

  “Hello.” A young lady walked into the office.

  Mr. Chamberlain stood. “Mallory, this is Shauna. You’ll be working together.”

  Shauna offered her hand, and Mallory stood as she took it. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

  “You too.”

  Shauna clasped her fingers together. “I’ve come to take Mallory away. The preschool children are anxious to start playing this morning and very excited to get to know you.”

  With one last glance at Mr. Chamberlain, Mallory followed Shauna through the door.

  “This will be the first thing we’ll do every morning.”

  As soon as they entered the recreation room, a small body convulsing with silent cries slammed into her arms.

  Stunned, Mallory looked toward Shauna who was busy pulling games from a shelf in the far corner. Mallory lowered to the child’s level.

  The girl stared into her eyes. “You look just like my sister.”

  A sharp-edged sword ripped through her heart at the girl’s words. “What’s your name?”

  “Brianna.”

  “I’m Mallory.” Her heart squeezed and she placed a hand on her arm. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  Shauna told her later the child lost her family in a car accident. She had no other living relatives and came to live at the children’s home only two days ago. God had given Mallory a purpose—to love these children in a way she herself had never been loved.

  Later that evening, Paul drove her, Eric, and Rachel from practice. Mallory put her hand on the seat between her and Eric, longing for his touch … longing for the tingling sensation she never failed to receive when his skin brushed against hers.

  He hadn’t held her hand since their date. Had she upset him? Unless they were speaking their lines he barely spoke to her. Jake had told her over and over that no one would ever love her. Was that true? Was she unlovable? What if Eric had changed his mind and decided he didn’t like her? Jake had treated her different at first, but then changed.

  She studied the cornfields passing by in a blur. She’d listened at Rachel’s weekly Bible studies, the preaching on Sundays, and even the church services she had attended with Mary week after week, trying to trade her lies for truth.

  “You know, it’s so appropriate for you to be playing the part of Elizabeth—that being your middle name and everything.”

  She shifted at the sound of his voice.

  “That’s your real middle name isn’t it?”

  The thoughts that had been crowding her mind gave her a terrible sense of insecurity, and she couldn’t shake it. She offered a weak smile.

  Eric covered her hand with his. Heat rushed to her face. “I’m glad you decided to come back to our drama team. It wasn’t the same without you.”

  Why was he telling her this now? Why the sudden change in attitude? The moment was broken as Paul pulled the truck into Rachel’s driveway.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Eric released her hand.

  She climbed from the truck, willing herself not to look at him again … willing herself not to get her hopes up.

  Tuesday morning, Eric waited in the driveway at seven-thirty. He’d been thinking of Mallory all morning, thinking of her gentle spirit, her giving nature. She would be perfect for this job. She stepped through the door, her expression contorted in confusion. As she walked to the driver’s side, he pressed the window button.

  “Are you going to the children’s home today?” Eric propped his arm on the door handle.

  “Yes, but … I don’t expect you to take me every day, Eric.”

  “You don’t want me to?”

  “No, it’s not that, I just feel bad. You shouldn’t go out of your way for me.”

  “Mallory, it wouldn’t be out of my way even if I had to drive across the country.”

  Her laughter was rich, like a stroking brush of an angel’s wing. She glanced over her shoulder toward the back yard, before she walked around and climbed into the front seat. “Mr. Chamberlain gave me a car, but I don’t know how to drive yet.”

  “I’ll be glad to teach you … as soon as the weather warms up. It would probably be safer to wait until there’s no more snow or sleet. I don’t mind taking you until then. In fact, I honestly look forward to it.” It gave him a good reason to stay close to her and he could think of nothing better. “I needed to stop by and give something to Paul on the way. Do you think we have time?”

  “I don’t have to be there till nine.”

  Eric turned the truck around, his foot releasing the accelerator. “You should’ve told me. I would’ve given you more time.”

  “No, I appreciate you taking me. I wasn’t sure if you were coming, but wanted to be ready in case.”

  Within minutes, Eric pulled the truck into a makeshift driveway. Mallory gasped.

  He slowed and turned in his seat. “What’s wrong?”

  “This is Rachel and Paul’s house? The house Paul’s building for her?”

  “Rachel hasn’t brought you out here yet?”

  “No.” She jumped from the truck before he had a chance to. “It’s beautiful.”

  Eric hurried to keep up with her. The seed of a plan worked through his mind—one he would start as soon as he dropped Mallory off at work.

  As soon as Mallory reached the children’s home, she started her search for Brianna. She’d thought of her all night and wanted to see how she was feeling this morning. The children sat in groups with sets of toys spread out in front of them, but Brianna sat alone in the corner staring at the others. It ripped through the jagged place Mallory kept buried.

  The memory of her mama’s boyfriend dropping her off at the group home, promising her mama would come for her, came rushing back. It was as if it was happening all over again. Mallory didn’t reach out to anyone, and all the others pushed her away when she wouldn’t speak. She couldn’t bear to think of this precious girl hurting the same way she had for most of her life.

  Brianna looked up with teary eyes and a wobbly smile.

  Mallory squatted in front of her. “Good morning. I’ve been looking forward to seeing you. We’re going to have so much fun today. Did you have something yummy for breakfast?”

  “I wasn’t hungry.”

  “Well, baby girl, you have to eat. You need your energy for all the fun games we’ll pl
ay today. I left so early I skipped my breakfast too. How about we go to the cafeteria and have breakfast together?”

  Brianna’s cautious eyes stared into hers. “Okay.”

  They walked hand in hand, and Mallory’s heart swelled at the trust Brianna was offering already.

  During game time, Mallory intentionally set Brianna beside another little girl her age named Macy and bent to give them the instructions. Inch by inch, Mallory scooted away, but kept a careful eye on them both. Within a few minutes Brianna smiled, the last of her tears dried on her cheeks. Warmth filtered through her seeing the child smile for the first time.

  On Saturday morning, Mallory woke later than usual. The week had flown by. Practicing for the drama every night and working at the children’s home every day was wearing on her. Rachel had hair appointments scheduled this morning, so Mallory grabbed her bag and sat on the bed’s edge. Unzipping the worn, duffle bag she searched the hidden pocket and took out the small ring—a simple circle of gold with a tiny diamond placed inside a small butterfly. She slipped it onto her pinkie finger as she remembered the most precious moments of her past.

  A field trip had been planned for the day and she wouldn’t see Dragonfly.

  She followed the group, staying near the back as they explored the museum. Studying the exhibits, she read everything and soaked in the information. It didn’t matter that she walked alone, that no one spoke to her.

  An hour later, they left the museum and stopped for lunch at a fast food restaurant. Mallory chose a seat in the far corner.

  The teacher stood at the head of one of the tables. “Girls, let Mallory sit with you.”

  Her face heated as everyone scrutinized her with critical stares before turning back to their conversations. When she moved and took a seat at the end of the table, they all turned their backs to her. She studied the sandwich and fries she was supposed to eat, but her stomach turned in knots. Why didn’t the teacher leave her be?