Cas: Heroes at Heart

by Maryann Jordan

  “I can see no lightness, no humor, no joke to make. I just hope that we will be able to go back to when we had laughter, and the world was colored, not black and white and gray. Maeve Binchy”

  As before, she held the note to her chest, only this time tears hit her eyes. Refusing his apologies was pointless when her heart sang to be with him. She rushed inside, sliding her feet into her sneakers. Racing out the back door, she ran through the woods, not stopping until she rushed into his clearing. There, sitting in the middle of the yard, was a beautiful wooden chest, another piece that she had seen in his workshop.

  Approaching it slowly, she took in the intricate carvings. She recognized Snow White being led into the woods, holding the hand of the Huntsman as he guarded her heart. Tears slid down her cheeks as she carefully lifted the lid, hoping for and finding another note. Her hands shook as her eyes devoured the words.

  “I’ll understand if you don’t want me, but I will be heartbroken. You were all I ever dreamed of and hoped for. You are much, much more. Maeve Binchy”

  Lifting her gaze, she stared as Cas stepped from his back door, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. His eyes roved over her, fear in them as though he was afraid she would disappear. He hurried forward, and she met him in the middle of the yard. They stopped awkwardly a foot apart.

  Before she had a chance to speak, he rushed, “I am so sorry, Bianca. I can’t believe how horribly wrong I acted. Everything. Everything I did was wrong. I should have never looked at your phone when I moved it. I should’ve never read those messages. I should’ve never jumped to conclusions that were so stupid to begin with.”

  She kept her gaze on his face but could see the flowers in his hand shaking. “Why did you?”

  Anguish moved across his face as he winced, shaking his head quickly. “It was me I doubted. When we were kids, it felt like we were equals. Both having suffered loss. Both looking for friendship. Both connecting with someone that others might consider a little different.”

  Remaining quiet, her lips quirked slightly at the reminder of them as children. He, sitting under the tree whittling while she twirled about the yard.

  “But now, twelve years later, we’ve led vastly different lives. I began to doubt that I was someone you would want to settle for. When I saw those messages, I gave in to my doubt. It made me realize that in our excitement of being reunited, we haven’t had the time to figure out exactly who we are and what we want as a couple.” His chest heaved as he peered deeply into her face. “What you overheard was me talking to Jayden. The reason I said you were just a girl who moved in was I couldn’t bring myself to admit that you had come back into my life and I had fucked it up so badly. I don’t know what else to do but beg your forgiveness. Wherever we go from here and whatever we become, at least I need to know that you—”

  “I forgive you.” Tears stung her eyes as the words rushed from her, and she watched him blink before his eyes narrowed slightly in uncertainty. She stepped closer until the only thing between them were the flowers touching both of their chests. “I was miserable without you. I thought about it, replayed the scene over and over in my mind. Yes, you jumped to conclusions and did not give me an opportunity to explain, but I also reacted the way I’ve learned to do. Walk away. Pull into myself. Separate myself from whatever has upset me.”

  She reached out and took the flowers from his hand, sniffing their scent and admiring their beauty before holding them to the side so that she could step closer. With her head leaned back so she could continue to hold his gaze, she said, “If we’re going to make this work, then you need to move past the doubt that I want to be with you. And I need to learn to stand and fight for what I want.”

  He lifted his hands and gently slid his fingers through her hair as his palms cupped her cheeks. Bending, he kissed her ever so lightly. It was the barest hint of a kiss, but she felt all of the emotion it offered. Regret and sorrow. Forgiveness and redemption.

  As he started to pull away, she let the flowers fall gently to the ground as she reached up and grabbed his shoulders, holding him in place. Lifting on her toes, she kissed him fully, not willing to let him go. His arms banded around her back as he pulled her tightly to him. This kiss was different as their lips moved together and their tongues tangled. This was a kiss of letting go of doubt and embracing new beginnings.

  18

  Sitting in his truck as they rumbled down the road, Bianca swiped her hands over her sundress in an attempt to smooth out the wrinkles and remove the nervous dampness from her palms. Still needing something to do with her hands, she fiddled with the strap of her purse.

  She jumped when Cas reached his hand over and placed it on her leg and realized she had been bouncing her knee up and down the whole time.

  “Are you nervous?” he asked.

  Looking over at him, she rolled her eyes and shot back, “Wouldn’t you be?”

  “Sweetheart, it’s your family. You’ve always been family.”

  “I can’t believe everyone’s getting together just to see me again.”

  “Babe, you’re a surprise.”

  She swung around to look at him, the silky screen of her hair swinging out with the movement of her head. Her blue eyes, impossibly wide, stared at him. “Surprise?” she squeaked.

  “When Miss Ethel calls, everybody comes. Whether there’s a reason or not. So, she asked if everyone could come today because she had someone she wanted them to meet.”

  “Oh, my God, now I’m more nervous! Everyone is giving up a Saturday afternoon to reunite with a dorky teenage girl they used to know years ago.” She dropped her chin to her chest, her hands coming up to cover her face.

  “Don’t be nervous! They’re going to be so excited to see you again. So excited to see us together.”

  Her hands fell into her lap and she looked over at him again. A slow smile curved her lips, and she asked, “Together?”

  His brow furrowed and he shot her a hard stare. “After what we just shared for the past couple of days, I would think together is the right word. Is it not?”

  At that moment she could not think of a word she loved hearing more from his lips than together. Not just sitting in his truck together at the same time. Not just neighbors that together shared a few meals. Not just a random hookup together. But two people who actually wanted to share their lives… that kind of together. Still wanting to make sure she understood what he was saying, she murmured, “We haven’t exactly defined anything.”

  Turning off of the main road, he slowed, then parked and turned off the engine. “Then let me make myself perfectly clear. I haven’t just been playing house with you for the past few days. I can’t predict the future, but based on our past, I’d say we’re starting to build something special. Something that I want to keep building.” His gaze stayed pinned on her long enough to watch her face soften, and he added, “And I hope that’s what you want, too.”

  He leaned toward her, and she shifted so that she could meet him in the middle. They kissed, long and sweet. He slid his tongue inside her warmth, and she felt tingles move through her. Separating slightly, she murmured, “That’s what I want, too.”

  “Good,” he said, shifting back in his seat. Reaching down, he adjusted his crotch and said, “Give me a minute, babe. I don’t want to walk in with my cock leading the way.”

  Her forehead crinkled at his words, then she turned to look out her window and realized they were parked on the street outside Miss Ethel’s house. This time, the driveway was filled with trucks and SUVs. She sucked in a quick breath, willing her nerves to settle. It’s just old friends. As Cas opened her door and held out his hand to assist her down, she smiled. No, it’s just family.

  He kept her hand tightly grasped in his as they walked toward the front porch, her excitement at seeing everyone beginning to overpower the nerves. Before they reached the front door, they could hear the sounds of laughter coming from the back yard. He turned to walk around the house with her in tow.

&
nbsp; Once they reached the back corner, he said, “You ready?”

  Sucking in a deep breath, she let it out slowly, then smiled. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  He leaned forward and kissed her soundly, sweeping his tongue inside her mouth. Her knees felt weak, the way they always did when he kissed her.

  Grinning, he winked. “Let’s go.”

  As they turned the back corner of the house, she could see that Miss Ethel’s back yard had changed little over the years. There was more grass growing, no doubt due to the lack of ball games with eight boys continually stomping on the lawn. A tree she remembered in the back yard was even larger, its branches covering two picnic tables pushed together.

  The sight of seven large men and eight women had her feet stumbling to a halt.

  Miss Ethel saw them coming and clapped her hands. “Here’s Cas, and he brought an old friend of ours.”

  She stood rooted to the spot as everyone’s eyes swung around to them. She could tell that Cas was still grinning widely as he propelled them forward. As she got closer, she could easily discern each of the boys, now men. Zander, with his deep-set eyes intensely searching hers and a toddler in his arms. Rafe, just as handsome as always, a toddler held close to his chest. Cael, still towering over the others, his shock of red hair more of a deep russet than when he was younger. Jaxon and Jayden with their long hair pulled back, and she had to admit she could not instantly tell them apart. Asher, tall and lean, his discerning eyes moving over her. And Zeke, also with long flowing hair, head tilted slightly to the side, a smile playing about his lips.

  My seven dwarfs… my seven giants.

  In the slow-motion of dominoes falling, one by one, their eyes widened and their mouths dropped open in recognition. Suddenly, tears pricked her eyes as the years fell away, and she again felt like the lonely preteen who was looking for acceptance. Swallowing audibly, she felt Cas pull her back against his chest, his arms encircling her.

  He whispered, “It’s okay, babe. You’re home.”

  The men rushed forward, all exclaiming her name at the same time. Pulled from Cas’ arms, she was hugged by each of them, questions filling the air as well as heartfelt greetings.

  Overwhelmed, she wiped the tears falling from her eyes as she returned hugs and laughed with the joy that was filling her.

  19

  Bianca could not remember the last time she had laughed so much, enjoyed herself so much, or eaten so much.

  After having reunited with the men, each of them introduced her to their wives or fiancées. Trying to remember everyone’s name, she quickly figured them out, finding them to be as unique and united as the men.

  She had been plied with questions until Miss Ethel finally threw her hands up to quiet everyone. “I suggest we let Bianca tell her story as she would like.”

  Not wanting to belabor any of her depressing story, she gave them a basic rundown of her life after she moved to California. Their emotions appeared to run the same gamut that Cas’ had… horror at Lionel, anger at Lucille, concern over her health, and sorrow for the passing of her dad. But, ultimately, joy that she had decided to come back east, followed by shock that she had so easily met up with Cas again.

  Once the introduction and tales of the past were over, they settled around the picnic tables laden with food. Miss Ethel and the women had outdone themselves. Her delicious fried chicken was surrounded by bowls of potato salad, fruit salad, broccoli and cheese casserole, baked beans, and fluffy homemade rolls, followed by cake and pies.

  They finally moved to a large circle of chairs surrounding an unlit fire pit. Zander, keeping an eye on his daughter, asked, “What are your plans now?”

  Sitting next to Cas, comforted by his fingers linked through hers, she replied, “To be honest, that’s rather open-ended.” She felt Cas’ head turn toward her and knew his gaze was penetrating. She gave his fingers a squeeze and explained, “What’s happened in the past several days is more than I ever expected or hoped for.” She heard his audible sigh and continued, “As I told you, when I left California, I wanted to see a lot of the country and spent almost two weeks driving through places that I had only read about. At each place I visited, I asked myself the question, ‘Can I see myself living here?’ I saw so many beautiful places, and yet, I wanted my journey to bring me back here. To see it, if nothing else, for one last time.” Smiling, she looked over and caught Miss Ethel’s twinkling gaze and said, “I had no idea that you’d still be here.”

  Laughing, Miss Ethel said, “And I told her that there was nowhere else I’d rather be. This house may be large, and I don’t go upstairs very often, but with the help of my sweet boys, and now all of my girls, I’m able to stay in my home.”

  “That’s wonderful,” Bianca said, her voice hitching. She realized with the sound most everyone’s eyes jerked back to her, but she shook her head, swallowing deeply. “No, no I’m fine. It’s just that discovering that you all are still here and closer than ever makes my heart so happy.”

  Giving a mental shake, she continued, “But, as far as my plans now, I’m not sure. I don’t need the money that was left to me from my mother’s family, or even the money from my father. I’m going to invest it for now and can live off of what I earn. Because I work from home, it makes it easy for me to live anywhere. California was never home. And all the places I visited were wonderful but didn’t feel like home.” She glanced to the side, not wanting to make Cas feel uneasy, and just said, “I guess I’ll see what happens.”

  Without hesitation, Cas said, “If I have anything to do with it, you’ll stay. This is home. With all of us. With Miss Ethel. With me.”

  She whipped her head around as he slid his arm around her shoulders. Tears filled her eyes once again, and she was caught by surprise when he leaned forward and kissed her lightly in front of everyone.

  Looking up, she could not help but notice the huge smiles of the women who were also snuggled against their men. Glancing toward Miss Ethel, Bianca saw that her smile was the widest of all.

  After a while, they began moving around, the women gathering Bianca into their fold as the brothers moved to the side to talk.

  Zeke clapped Cas on the back and said, “I can’t believe Bianca’s here after all this time.”

  Rafe shook his head and said, “I mean, damn, I was just talking about her not too long ago.”

  “Do you think she’ll stay?” Zander asked, his gaze moving from Cas over to where Rosalie was chatting with Bianca.

  Cas’ gaze had rarely left Bianca, and he said, “I hope so. I have to admit we jumped into a relationship right off the bat. It may seem quick, but it was years in the making.”

  “Hey, the rest of us will tell you that when you know, you know. When it’s right, it’s right,” Jaxon said.

  Jayden grinned, adding, “I guess you didn’t get a lot of work done after finding out she was your neighbor.”

  Shaking his head, he said, “That’s what was so cool. We spent a lot of time getting to know each other, but then I’d be in the workshop working on the furniture, and she would take her computer out and work there as well. I thought it might be too distracting for her, but she seemed to get a lot of writing done.”

  “Can you see it working?” Cael asked. “Long term?”

  “Honestly?” he replied, holding Cael’s gaze, “The four years that she lived here, I fell for her. I never said anything, but I was going to tell her that I was coming back for her when I got out of the military. But right when I graduated from high school and was ready to go, that’s when her dad and stepmom hauled her off to California. It’s been twelve years, and I thought it was long over, but I never forgot her.”

  “When you think of it that way,” Asher said, “then it’s really not something very new. Kind of like rediscovering someone you knew a long time ago. A lot like me and Penny.”

  Nodding, he said, “Yeah, you’re right. It is a lot like that.”

  The sound of women’s laughter reached th
em, and the men looked over. The eight women were surrounding Miss Ethel, their smiles filled with true joy.

  “Do you know how fuckin’ lucky we are?” Zander asked. “Given my early years, I would not have thought I could’ve had a family like this.”

  Cas knew exactly what Zander meant, and he did not have to look at his brothers to know that each one of them understood as well. Their backgrounds were diverse, but one thing bound them together: each had found themselves as children needing to be placed in a foster home. Being placed with Miss Ethel was the greatest thing that could have happened to them. She had brought them together and made them a family and was now bringing into the fold the women that they had chosen for mates.

  He knew that Bianca had been worried earlier as they drove to Miss Ethel’s, but he was certain she would fit right in with the men that she remembered from years ago, and with Miss Ethel, who had given her a mother figure during her teen years. And now, he watched as she stood with the other women, her head thrown back in laughter, her silky black tresses flowing behind her.

  How was it possible that he had watched each of his brothers find love and now she had walked back into his life? Love? Could it possibly be love so soon? He told his brothers that it was like a renewal, not just something new. Looking back at her, his smile widened as he acknowledged he never wanted her to leave again.

  Bianca had been excited about seeing Miss Ethel again, but the idea that the men would have forgotten all about her and that their women would not like her had made her a bundle of nerves. But she should not have been worried. The men were as welcoming as long-lost friends, and their women seemed eager to include her in their sisterhood.