Lord Harrow's Heart

by Susan M. Baganz

  Without another word, he left to tend the guests. The dinner was enjoyable with these men who were more family to him than his own had been. These men had eased his lonely existence and gave him a feeling of worth and belonging. A band of brothers, as it were. The wives had become as dear to him as he imagined sisters ever would be. And there at the other end of the table was Valeria. She took his breath away. Her golden hair swept up off her face with a few tendrils framing it.

  She tipped her head in question at his gaze. Theo raised his glass to her and nodded his head slightly with a gentle smile before taking a sip, never breaking eye contact until he set his glass back down. As he tended to the conversation with Katrina on his left he glanced at his bride and found her slightly flushed. He stifled a grin. Perhaps this wooing business wasn’t so hard after all.

  After the women left the men to their port, Michael cleared his throat. “I do not mean to complain, but the wait for Wolton is getting dashed long.”

  “Would you like me to extend him an invitation to attack so we can get it over with? If so, give me his address,” Theo said. He enjoyed tweaking Michael who gave as good as he got.

  “Buffleheaded definitely does suit you at times, Theo.” Michael grinned as he sipped dark liquid. “I was thinking we might want to draw him out of hiding. Provide him with the opportunity he has been waiting for.”

  “You want to use bait?” Phillip asked.

  Michael nodded.

  “I do not want to put Valeria at risk.”

  “She is already at risk, Theo. As are you and Dartanian.” Michael defended his idea and his lips were set in a firm line. There was no humor behind his suggestion.

  Marcus frowned as well. “What you are suggesting has some value, Michael.” He paused to look at Theo. “Hear me out. First, I would be loath to put my own wife in such a situation, so I understand your fears there. I can safely speak for all of us that we would hesitate to take a step like this. Second. If we did set a trap with you and Valeria as bait, we could control the situation better because we would be prepared for it. We can plot and plan and defeat him before any harm is done to either of you.”

  Theo leaned back in his chair and his shoulders sagged. He, too, was tired of the wait. What Marcus said made sense. He glanced to the door his wife had recently walked through. When this was over they would be able to have a regular marriage without the threat of danger hanging over them. They could go to London and he could indulge Valeria’s every whim. Buy her new dresses and waltz with her at every ball and find comfort in her arms at night without the fear of anything coming to part them.

  It hit like a knife to his heart. Even with Wolton out of the way, there were no guarantees. His father died tragically and quick and his mother grieved horribly for him. As much as he loathed his father, seeing his mother suffer had been heart wrenching. He swallowed. Anything could happen to him—or to her—and there was no way to prepare for it.

  “Theo?” Phillip’s voice was soft and laced with concern as his eyes searched and met his.

  “Hmmmm?”

  “You grew pale all of a sudden. Are you unwell?” Phillip leaned forward scrutinizing Theo’s face and the other two men now did the same.

  “I’m fine. I appreciate your concern. I wasn’t pleased with where my thoughts had led me.” Theo sipped more of his wine, savoring the heavy fruity flavor. “I hate to say I agree with you, but I think you have hit on a solution to our waiting. How do you think we should proceed?”

  The men leaned together to conspire and opted to keep the women out of the planning, so they would be less likely to interfere and possibly be harmed. They decided they would plan for the day after Dartanian’s party.

  That suited Theo fine as it gave him a few more days to woo his wife. He wanted her to remember him fondly should anything go wrong with all they had planned.

  Theo walked Valeria to her door later that evening and lifted her hand up. He kissed her palm and curled her fingers over it. He opened her door and she stepped inside, brows furrowed. She frowned as if she wanted to speak but said nothing.

  “Good night, Lady Harrow. Sweet dreams.” With that he limped to his own room and entered. He stared at that large bed and dreaded laying down in it alone again. But it won’t be for too much longer, old man. Soon you will have her in your arms again. Patience. Have patience. Lord, help me trust You in the waiting.

  ~*~

  Valeria was puzzled. Who was this man? She slowly removed the cross and placed it back in the jewelry box. She glanced down at the ring on her left hand. It was stunning, and the women had commented on it after dinner. They were not jealous as they all had their own treasured gifts from their husbands. But that he had even thought of it shocked her. She wanted to hope he was understanding what her complaint was, but she still wasn’t sure.

  Yet every time he had touched her or looked at her, even across the room, she saw heat in his eyes. They would turn a deep green and his smile promised hidden secrets only for her.

  Could she trust that he was really seeking to court her? Was she wrong that he did not want her? Perhaps he did. He had been acting as if he was afraid. A man of the world like him? Afraid of what? She was the tainted one.

  She closed the jewelry box and prepared for bed. Even with a fire and the warmer spring evening, she became chilled as she crawled into her bed alone. She missed the scent of Theo that was uniquely his. Horse and man and something else she couldn’t quite place but one that had a comforting effect on her. She tossed to her other side and her fist hit her pillow. She should not be sleeping alone. But she was the one who had walked out and locked the door. Maybe it would not be for too much longer. She could only pray that would be so.

  ~*~

  The day of Dartanian’s birthday party Valeria rose from her bed and stretched. She was tired of being alone. She looked forward to the day and seeing how Dartanian liked the mount Theo had chosen for him, a sweet and docile grey pony named Silver. Theo had shown her the horse the day before and she saw the excitement in his eyes at giving her son this gift.

  Their son. He had corrected her every time she’d said ‘mine.’ She longed for the day when the two could freely go about the estate without fear.

  Today they would be outdoors for their celebration. While she longed for the sunshine and freedom to roam the property, the idea of being in sight of Lord Wolton or his minions was terrifying. She had tried to voice her concerns, but Theo said that it would be safe and protection was in place. Nothing should mar Dartanian’s birthday.

  In spite of all that she could not repress the shiver that traveled up her spine. She had been living on the edge for too long and Wolton would be deriving great pleasure from that. Lord, please keep Dartanian safe from harm today.

  After Daisy left her, she sat at her mirror and put the golden cross around her neck. She reached into a drawer and pulled out a small knife and sheath and placed that deep into a side pocket. One just never knew...

  After breakfast, the younger children were assigned to the makeshift nursery while Dartanian came out with the adults for the first of his birthday presents.

  Theo held Dartanian’s hand for the walk to the stables.

  Dartanian quickly spotted the new pony in the pen outside scampering playfully. “Papa! That horse is new.” Dartanian’s voice was filled with breathless wonder.

  “He sure is. He came to live here because he has a new master.”

  “He does? That would be you, Papa?”

  “No, son, that new owner would be you.” Theo lifted the boy to the bottom rung of the wood fence enclosing the pen. He placed a sugar cube in the boy’s hand. “Hold it out. His name is Silver.”

  Dartanian held out the sugar on a flat palm. “Silver. I have a treat for you.”

  The horse willingly trotted over to the young boy.

  Valeria could not help but smile as the lips of the horse tickled her son’s hand. She delighted in hearing him laugh. He reached up to pet the horse
.

  “Dartanian, Silver is your horse. I want to teach you to ride him and care for him so you can be a good Duke when you grow up, knowing how to care for the animals that will serve you.”

  The little boy’s brows knit together. “Serve me?”

  Theo nodded. “We care for them, but they are here to serve us. They pull our carriages and give us rides and take us places. That’s their job. If we want them to do it well and for a long time we need to take good care of them. This horse is for you to learn on and grow with. He will serve you for many years if you care for him well.”

  “He won’t get shot like Zeus, will he?” The little boy stopped petting the horse to look up at Theo.

  Theo frowned. They tried to avoid telling Dartanian about that incident, but someone must have let it slip. “I hope not, son. I cannot guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen to you or your horse, but we can trust God for the future. We do not need to worry about it. We have today and as it’s your birthday, we will focus on what is good. Can you do that, Dartanian?”

  Valeria’s heart warmed as her little boy smiled up at the man next to him and nodded.

  “Shall we put a saddle on him and take a ride around the ring here?”

  “May I, Maman?”

  Valeria smiled. “You may. It is your birthday. We will try to make wishes come true as much as we are able.”

  Dartanian looked thoughtful. “I can have what I wish on my birthday?”

  Valeria had misspoken, and he had caught it. He was so literal at this age. “We cannot give you everything, but we will try to make you happy. Is there something you particularly wished for?” She held her breath, almost afraid of what he might request.

  “I want a brother.” He jumped off his wooden perch and grabbed Theo’s hand heading to the door of the stable. “Come, Papa! I want to ride Silver.”

  The color drained out of Theo’s face as Dartanian took him away.

  Valeria averted her gaze. She deeply longed for another child, but if things did not change with Theo, it would never come to pass. But how did one explain that to a seven-year-old?

  She leaned against the fence and waited for them to emerge in the paddock. Soon Dartanian was up on the horse and her heart warmed as he learned the rudimentaries of holding the reins and how to stay in the saddle.

  The man struggling to walk alongside Dartanian was tall and strong, good looking in a boyish kind of way as his hair fell onto his forehead and the sun shining on his head made him appear blonder. Theo was wearing more casual trousers and his boots. If it weren’t for his posture he would probably pass for a commoner with his easy smile and his laughter. His hazel eyes looked gray in the bright light but up close she had seen streaks of green in them. The way they changed color with his moods fascinated her.

  Her hand slid to her waist. A baby. What would it be like to have a baby with Theo? He was already a wonderful father to Dartanian. He would do anything to protect either of them if it were called for. Remembering that brought back fears raised by Dartanian’s comment. She hoped that they really were protected and safe today.

  Lunch was a joyful affair and afterwards the women either went to tend the younger children or nap while the men took Dartanian out to the pond to fish. Theo had talked about taking a small boat out as well.

  Michael laughed. “Dartanian, you need to understand that this introduction to fishing will not entail catching fish. It is the wrong time of day for that.”

  Dartanian looked up at him with squinting eyes. “But you told us how Lord Remington, Lord Westbrooke, and Papa would go fishing as little boys while you kept Mrs. Tidley from getting into trouble in the afternoon.”

  Phillip patted the young man on the back. “Very true. That is what we did. They sat under a tree and talked about life and women and periodically threw out lures and found it a great way to hide from the tutor who wanted to make us conjugate our Latin verbs even on a holiday. Fish were never required.”

  Dartanian frowned. “So, I won’t catch any fish, but I will hear about life and girls? I really don’t want to know about girls. Maman is OK, but I don’t want any more girls. I told Papa that I want a brother.”

  Valeria bit back a chuckle at Phillip’s expression and how his face turned red. Phillip glanced over at her and she covered her mouth to hide her grin.

  Michael patted Dartanian on the head. “I never had any brothers or sisters so I understand how you don’t want to be the only child. But your parents cannot control whether they have a boy or a girl.”

  “But Maman said I could have what I wished. I wish for a brother.” With that Dartanian shook his head at Michael and walked out to the garden where Theo had gone ahead with the supplies.

  Valeria burst out laughing after her son left.

  Michael gave his trademark grin. “Sounds as though you and Theo had better get busy with the baby making, Val.” With that he left her alone.

  She sat down feeling as if the wind had been knocked out from her. How many times today was she to be taunted with what she could not have?

  ~*~

  Theo enjoyed himself. To be limping alongside his son, their son, on a pony for the first time. He had missed first words and steps with Dartanian but there were so many other firsts he longed to be a part of. He was determined he would not be the one cutting down this little man when he failed to reach perfection. Who could? This little boy was already perfect in his eyes.

  That comment though about wanting a brother unsettled him. Where had he gotten an idea like that? Theo set out the rods and tied on the hooks. He had no idea how to address the topic and Valeria had been silent, but he had witnessed the pain in her eyes that Dartanian had missed. He spied her hand go to her waist. She wanted another child.

  And if he were honest, he did too.

  Dartanian came running down the hill and plopped his bottom next to Theo.

  The other men were following along at a more leisurely pace. There were armed guards hiding around the pond, the estate, and even in the house making sure they were safe. He wanted nothing to interfere with Dartanian’s birthday.

  “Papa?”

  “Yes, Dartanian?”

  “Lord Westbrooke said that we would talk about life and women. I don’t want to do that. Can we talk about something else while we wait for no fish?” The little boy picked up a pole and bobbed it up and down.

  Phillip tilted his head with a grin. “What would you like to talk about?”

  The lad leaned back against the tree and stared up into its branches as if that would give an answer. After a long pause, he finally spoke. “I want to learn how to fight, shoot, and fence.”

  “At some point those are good things to learn,” said Michael as he picked up a pole and cast out into the peaceful lake breaking the smooth surface with ripples.

  “Why, Dartanian?” Theo asked.

  “So, I can protect Maman in case Grand-père or Lord Wolton ever try to come back for her.”

  Theo saw the fire in the little boy’s eyes and the clenched fists. “You want to protect your Maman? That is a noble thing for a son to want to do.”

  The boy’s eyes brightened and he smiled. “You will teach me?”

  Marcus laughed and bent down to ruffle the little boy’s hair. “Protecting your Maman is now Theo’s job.”

  “But what if something happens to him and Maman and I are alone again?”

  Theo swallowed. That had been one of his own fears. “If something happens to me, Uncle Michael or Phillip or Marcus will help care for you and your Maman. I pray it will not come to that. I will do everything I can to keep you both safe.”

  “So, you won’t teach me?” Dartanian looked as if he would cry.

  “I will teach you and be glad to do so. I need a sparring partner when my friends return to their own homes.”

  Dartanian’s face lit up and his eyes were bright. “Thank you, Papa!” He stood up and threw his arms around Theo’s neck.

  Theo dropped the hook he
had been holding and hesitantly wrapped his own arms around the child. His heart barely fit in his chest it had grown so large.

  The fishing trip ended up being a success in more ways than one. Dartanian had an opportunity to hang out with the men and they all delighted in telling him tales of their own childhood mischief.

  Theo wondered at the wisdom of that, fearing that he would have a little terror on his hands as his son thought up his own means of getting into trouble.

  The other success of the afternoon was that Dartanian was the only one to catch anything. The young man proudly walked back to the house with three little fish dangling from his line to proudly present to cook to prepare as part of the evening meal.

  Theo walked the young man to his nanny to prepare for dinner with the adults, a rare treat for the little boy.

  Dartanian wrapped his arms around the top of Theo’s legs. “Today was smashing! Thank you for the bestest birthday ever, Papa!”

  The pain was worth it to Theo. He patted his son on the back. “It has been my pleasure, Dartanian.” Theo loosened the little arms and bent over so he could see the boy eye to eye. “I’m glad God let me be your new Papa. I love you, son.”

  Dartanian’s eyes welled with tears and his lips trembled. “My old Papa never told me that. I love you too.” The arms wrapped around Theo’s neck and Theo held the boy tight as he cried out his loss and love, soaking Theo’s jacket. Theo fought back a few tears of his own. Had his own father ever said those words to him? If so, he couldn’t remember. He vowed in his heart that he would make sure this little boy heard those words and accompanying actions, often.

  Later that evening, Theo walked Valeria to her door. She turned and placed a hand on his chest. “Thank you for making Dartanian’s day wonderful, Theo.”

  Theo risked gazing into her dark brown eyes reflecting a golden warmth from the lit candles in the hallway. “I love you and Dartanian. I could do no less.” He took hold of the hand on his chest, removing the warmth penetrating his waistcoat and shirt. He pulled the hand to his lips and placed a kiss there. Letting it go, he said softly, “Sweet dreams, Lady Harrow.” With that he turned to go to his room and his own empty, cold bed.