Dishonor Thy Wife

by Belinda Austin

  “I ought to murder that husband of yours, and then we could be together.” I sit down beside her and she inches away from me. I sling an arm around her and nibble on her shoulder. Many times, we have imagined Bubba’s death.

  Barbie shoves me. “You leave Bubba Simpson alone, Brad O’Boyle. If he dies under any mysterious circumstance, I will get none of his millions. Zippo. Nothing. His entire fortune will go to his kids.”

  “Would you leave Bubba for Jayden if he asked you?”

  “Well your brother doesn’t have a wife and a kid does he? Maybe you ought to kill your wife and I would consider it,” she says laughing.

  “My brother has a fiancée. Jayden is engaged to a beautiful woman.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Quit acting insanely jealous, Brad. I don’t really know your brother.” She dusts off her jeans and pulls her t-shirt out to cover the rip on her zipper. “I’ve got to go over to the hospital and pick up something at the gift shop so Bubba will know I was telling the truth when I said my girlfriend was sick.”

  Barbie jumps off the pickup and climbs in the driver’s seat, revving up the engine.

  I pound the window with my fist. “Lying cunt! What really happened between you and Jayden?”

  Quick, she locks the doors. The wheels of her pickup spin in the dirt, and Barbie nearly runs over my toes and disappears in a cloud of dust.

  I slam the door so hard of my Mercedes, the car rocks on its tires.

  She wants to fuck Jayden! The thought keeps going through my brain and I can barely make out the road.

  Okay, calm down. Do not get so upset that you crash into the car in front of you. Don’t drive down Capital of Texas Highway like a crazy man.

  I cuddle with my folks, and then drive home.

  Ronni’s romantic candlelight dinner she prepared for the two of us is piled in the sink.

  Ronni cooked me a romantic candlelight dinner. Before I went to Philly, she would have liked to poison me.

  Just what was Jayden up to with my wife?

  The bitches all prefer my brother, Vanessa, Ronni, and now Barbie.

  Chapter 38

  BRAD

  I mumble, half-asleep, “This is Dr. O’Boyle,” using my title out of habit.

  “This is Dr. Tremblay. You asked Vanessa to marry me!”

  “Can’t this wait, dude? It’s two a.m. here.”

  “No, it cannot wait. I distinctly told you to break up with Vanessa.”

  “I’m not a trained monkey you can just order around, man.”

  “The breakup was the only reason I agreed to our charade. You had no right asking her to marry me; I mean, marry you.”

  I jerk up in bed, banging my skull against the headboard. “I already have a wife, remember? The marriage proposal was a joke.”

  “Well, I’m not laughing. You bought her an expensive engagement ring charged to my credit card!”

  “You don’t want to be cheap when asking a woman to be your wife.”

  “Get back to Canada and break up with Vanessa, now!”

  “Tell her to get lost yourself.”

  “You promised to dump her.”

  “Fine. Whatever. I’ll fly back tomorrow after work.”

  “I’ll book two flights and email you the travel arrangements.”

  Jayden slams down the phone. Ouch, my ears.

  I tiptoe down the stairs, snapping on the study light. Thorns cut my hands as I yank roses from a vase, ripping petals and leaves from the stems. I break the stems over my knee, pushing some thorns into my naked thigh.

  I roar from the pain and march into the den with my arms held out like a zombie in a monster movie.

  There are three dozen frickin’ roses in here and I slam the vases on the floor, drowning some of the carpet in water.

  I stand there with blood dripping down my arms and legs thinking Jayden played his own joke on me with Barbie, and it is not funny, not by a long shot.

  Ronni has been nicer and acting lovey-dovey because she thought I sent her the roses, even though there was no name on the card for recipient or from sender. Of course, the roses are mine, which was why Jayden left the names of the recipient and sender blank. The flowers were a thank you for letting him masquerade as me.

  He wrote me four notes with his four dozen roses and I now see a sinister meaning.

  The note with the red roses reads: For taking advantage of me.

  No, you took advantage of me!

  The note with the black roses reads: For giving me what I wanted.

  You mean, for giving you Barbie!

  The note with the yellow roses reads: You light up my life.

  Well, that is very true.

  The note with the white roses reads: Because I am sorry.

  And I’m sorry, too, that I ever met you, Jayden Tremblay.

  I claw the sides of my face, drawing blood. This is Jayden’s face, his skin.

  I fall to my knees, sobbing like a baby.

  Dammit, why couldn’t my brother love me!

  Chapter 39

  JAYDEN

  We met up at the Minneapolis airport. Brad stuck his chin out. “Chill out, Jayden. Don’t let a dingbat like Vanessa come between us,”

  I gave him a cold look.

  “Nice roses you sent by the way.”

  The roses I sent Ronni, right. I slept with Brad’s wife. A twinge of guilt clouded my eyes but then anger over Vanessa made me see red again. I trusted him. He should have kept his promise.

  Brad held his hand out to me, biting his cheek. His scratched hands made him appear as if he got into a fight with a wild cat.

  I shook my brother’s hand. His smile never reached his eyes.

  “Well, good luck with Vanessa.”

  “Yeah, you, too.” he responded.

  Was Brad wishing me luck with Ronni? I scratched my head, walking towards the gate. When Brad mentioned the flowers I sent his wife, he did not act upset. Did he read the notes with the roses, in particular the note thanking Ronni for giving me what I wanted?

  Well, my brother just gave me what I wanted—sex with his wife without guilt. Brad gave me permission to sleep with Ronni!

  Her hold over me was driving me nuts. It was just sex, nothing more. Yet, the airport spun around me at the thought of my sister-in-law.

  Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will see her again. Her. Her. Her.

  A part of me wanted to see Ronni, a portion of me hated to, some of me needed to, and all of me dreaded to be with her once more.

  Whatever would I say to her?

  “Hi, I’m back. Uh, you do not really know me but you do. I am Brad’s identical twin brother, the man you slept with Saturday night and several weeks before that. Oh, by the way, for old time’s sake, how about a quickie before I return in a couple of days to Canada, after your husband Brad breaks off my engagement, his engagement actually. By the way, your husband asked another woman to marry him.”

  God, help me, I imagined dragging Brad’s wife to the floor and having hot sex with her.

  I sat on my seat in the plane with my eyes closed, imagining whispering into Ronni’s ear in a deep throaty voice, “What if I just rip your pants off here on the stairs?”

  Her voice rattled with desperation of her own. “My room. Mine.”

  You’re mine tonight, I thought. Mine, if only for a night.

  Chapter 40

  JAYDEN

  It was too easy to step back into the role of playing Brad.

  I snapped on the bedroom light and Ronni blinked her sleep-filled eyes.

  I lied about working late at the hospital, undressed, and climbed into bed with her.

  I cupped her crotch and humped against her. She mumbled something about not disappointing me.

  I ached with lust, pressing under the covers against her leg. “Let me. Let me fu…make love to you.”

  I was way beyond desire and might take her any way if she said no, but Ronni was soft and pliable, moaning as she stroked me.

  Oh, my god! She
lowered her head and shyly kissed the tip. The sight of her lips pecking me, her long hair stroking my thighs nearly drove me insane.

  I will go mad if I do not spill my seed into her.

  Shit, didn’t think. I forgot to put on a rubber.

  I lifted her head from my lap and reached for my pants pocket.

  She grabbed the prophylactic and tossed it. She sat down on me, grinding her hips.

  “But…”

  Yeah, but. Ronni was rocking with friction, circling her hips, and I yelled out, collapsing into the mattress.

  Oh, crap! I better not have made a baby with my sister-in-law!

  It was at spooning moments with her naked leg rubbing against mine, our hands entwined, all relaxed by our lovemaking, that the guilt seeped back. However, the night was long and the memory short. Even though I was pretending to be Brad, Ronni had said yes to me.

  Then she went and ruined our after-sex cuddling by saying, “Let’s make a baby, Brad,” or something like that. I cannot remember her exact words because it sounded like a train roared down the tracks, right through my ears.

  Mental note: Do not get your sister-in-law pregnant. QUIT HAVING SEX WITH HER! And don’t you dare think that the damage is already done after tonight, you horny bastard! Buy a bushel of rubbers!

  “No baby, no way, Ronni!” I climbed out of bed, twisting my ankle in the sheets and landing on my ass on the carpet. Ass is right. Brad and Ronni do not sleep together. He would know! Brad would kill me!

  Ronni scrambled across the bed and shone a flashlight in my eyes, maybe to see if I was serious about not wanting a kid with her.

  “Look, Ronni, I want you to death. I need you like the air I breathe. You’re the drug that I crave, the high that I need.” Luckily, we did not have the same taste in music so I could take credit for poetic lyrics. A romance dork like me quoted lines from a song by Pulp. “You’re the habit I can’t seem to kick. You are the car I never should have bought. You are the train I never should have caught.”

  She did not get that the words to the song were my confession. I had to end this...this sickness…this obsession for my sister-in-law, but then Ronni walked up to me and began unbuttoning the front of my shirt.

  I smacked her fingers and could not button my shirt fast enough because my hands were shaking.

  She placed her hot lips against my skin and tasted me.

  God, I could not breathe. She rained kisses down my chest with each button she popped open, exposing more of my flesh.

  I rocked my hips against her, sighing in defeat.

  She yanked my shirt from my arms.

  I gave her a quick kiss but mainly to divert her while I slipped on a rubber.

  I closed my eyes even as I pushed into her. Oh, God, help me from wanting to have intercourse with this woman.

  Oh, Jesus, she feels good.

  God, I want to have intercourse with her. Please.

  After I found religion in her pussy and we were finished rolling around the carpet, I pulled out and the rubber stuck to her leg.

  She picked up the prophylactic and slapped me in the face with our unborn babies, well my half anyway. We were not even married and already splitting the kids up.

  I scowled back at her. You have no idea, lady, what dumb ass may have actually got you pregnant when he had unprotected sex with you tonight.

  I sprinted to the shower, pumping my biceps, and once more attempted to wash my sister-in-law from my hair only Ronni’s smell was all over me. No matter how much I scrubbed, I inhaled her like an aphrodisiac.

  Yeah, I like to sing in the shower, who doesn’t? I sang some more lyrics by Pulp.

  “You are the party that makes me feel my age. You are a car crash I see but cannot avoid. Like a plane, I’ve been told I never should board. You are the dream I never should have caught.”

  Note: You are not in danger of losing your head over your brother’s wife but QUIT SLEEPING WITH HER YOU MORON!

  Chapter 41

  JAYDEN

  Five days back in Austin, and I am still in love…I mean infatuated…I mean obsessed…I mean pussy-whipped by my brother’s wife.

  Note: Never use the word love where your sister-in-law is concerned.

  Okay, so we went from fucking to screwing to having intercourse, and now we made love. It was just semantics really, no big deal. Making love and being in love was not the same thing.

  “Quit staring at me with accusation,” I mumbled to Brad’s office picture, which was snapped in a golf setting. Brad’s expression was serious as if he was about to bash the opposing player’s head in with his golf club. I turned the 8x10 face down and flipped the other pictures of Brad hanging on the walls of his office.

  This thing with my sister-in-law was not yet a catastrophe. There was no word about a baby yet.

  There was still no word from Brad either nor did I bother to call. Apparently, Brad was just as loathe to leave Canada.

  I placed my cowboy boots on Brad’s desk and knocked his picture off. Yeah, I bought some boots in Texas, as when in Rome, right? My brother’s picture went sliding across the carpet and under the black leather sofa.

  The door opened and the nurse said, “Your first patient is waiting, Dr. O’Boyle.”

  I strolled down the hall whistling.

  I grabbed the chart by examining room number three and opened the door without reading the patient’s name on the chart. My head was down, scanning the info for vital data—a new patient with symptoms and complaint left blank. “What seems to be the problem, Miss Knightly?”

  “The name is Mrs. Simpson. Knightly is my maiden name, sugar.”

  All the blood rushed from my face. Barbie wore only an examining gown. Pillows supported her head. Her feet rested on stirrups. She spread her legs wide open and was naked under her gown. She put on quite a production, adjusting her pose, lifting her rump, wiggling her hips, and humping the air.

  I threw a blanket over her exposed female parts. “Sit up,” I barked. “You know damn well I’m not a gynecologist.”

  “Well you should remove the stirrups from your examining table then, or did you leave them up on purpose?”

  “I’m busy. What do you want?”

  She jumped off the table and cornered me, flinging her arms around my neck. “You know what I want, Brad.”

  “I told you before; I have the clap so...”

  “Cut the bullshit, Dr. Tremblay.”

  “What…what did you call me?”

  “I know who you are, Jayden.” She walked her fingers down my chest, her fingers headed towards my...

  I peeled her arm from around my neck and grabbed her hands to keep her from grabbing me like last time. “So you know who I am, Mrs. Simpson.” All pretense of politeness was gone from my voice and I twisted her arms behind her back. I preferred not to touch her but if I let go, she would be pawing inside my pants.

  “Call me Barbie, darling. Mrs. Simpson is my mother-in-law.”

  “Brad told you about us.”

  “You brother tells me everything,” she said, smirking.

  “I’m sure he does.” The dislike on my face was apparent. Surely, she would take the hint.

  Barbie was so full of herself; my frigidness did not even faze her.

  She yanked her hands from my grasp and wiggled out of the hospital gown. The material fell to her ankles and she stood stark naked. She sucked in her stomach, thrusting her breasts out. She had a beautiful body and knew it. “I’m dynamite in bed, just ask Brad.”

  Right, as if I would do that. Hey, bro, I want to have sex with your soul mate. Is she any better than your wife, because I have had her in the sack, also. I preferred a softer woman. “I’ll leave so you can get dressed. You appear to be in very good health.”

  She pounced, wrapping her calves around my thigh and hanging onto my belt, unbuckling it. “Don’t be so shy,” she said and pushed her tongue out at me. “Fuck me, Jayden.” She laughed. “I hear you just got engaged but your fiancé will
never know about us since she is all the way down there in cold Canada.”

  “Canada is north,” I said, “which is way up from Texas.”

  “It is? Geography was never my strongest ass-et especially with my brain filled with horniness for you ever since Brad told me you’re his twin brother.”

  “You are Brad’s girlfriend,” I reminded her.

  “I promise not to tell your brother either if that’s what’s keeping you from hooking my feet in the stirrups and riding me hard. Brad has been gone nearly a week. You must be dying for a woman.” She grabbed my hand, cupping it on her crotch. “I’ll have you begging for it just like Brad does.” She rocked, squeezing her thighs together, trapping my hand between her legs.

  I lifted a brow at her and sneered, yanking my hand from beneath her thighs.

  She gasped. “You’re sleeping in the same house with Brad’s wife. Are you having sex with that frigid bitch?”

  “No,” I said a bit too quickly and defensively.

  “Liar! I always know when Brad is fibbing so the same goes for you. I promise not to spill the beans to Brad about you and Ronni so long as you are nice to me. Think about it, doll face. If Ronni was better than me in bed, why would Brad chase after me?”

  “You expect me to fornicate with you so that Brad and I can compare notes?”

  “To fornicate sounds scientific. I was thinking more like wild sex.”

  I grasped the door handle. “Brad and I are not that close. Neither of us is into sharing.”

  She grabbed a gun from her purse poking my chin with the barrel. “Call when you change your mind and you will, cupcake.” She ran the pistol down my chest, pushing it against my crotch. She then set the gun next to the computer on the small desk, jumped back on the table, and opened her legs wide. She humped wildly, touching herself and grinning like the devil’s concubine. “My number is listed on Brad’s cell phone,” she moaned.

  I spun on my heel and grabbed the door handle.

  “You’ll come around. It is going to be kooky with you, Jayden. I should do you and Brad at the same time. Uh, uh, uh! You in the front and him in the back. Uh, uh, uh!”