Rush

by Violet Vaughn

  A flush rises to my cheeks, and I feel my brow furrow. I don’t know if it’s because of money or Derrick. Either way, I can’t look at Christian, my perfect brother, with the profitable career and perceptive eyes.

  “Ah, now we’re talking. You’re afraid to ask for help, right?”

  My muscles tense. “I don’t need help!” The words snap out of my mouth, and I take a moment to tamp down my anger. “I’m just not sure what I’m going to do.”

  Christian pulls me into a hug I don’t want. “Little sister, you just spent the last month taking care of Dad and helping Mom in so many ways I feel like a slacker. Did it ever occur to you that the people in your life might want to help you, too?”

  I sigh. “Nobody should help me. I’m goofing off snowboarding instead of being in school. If I can’t keep myself afloat, then it’s time to move on.”

  But that’s not really the problem. I could buy a useable car with what I have, and keep enough to pay my bills working only part time over the winter. Christian moves his arm to the back of the swing, and I notice the late afternoon sun has crept across the porch. A streak of sun highlights his hair, and I see red tinting the light brown.

  No, it’s time to admit to myself the problem is Derrick. I can’t stop replaying his last words to me. “I’m so sorry. I would like to explain everything. Please, when you’re ready, let me. This hurts so damn much.”

  I’m afraid to open my heart to the hurt all over again, but I know I must. I have obligations to my equipment sponsors and to myself. One more year. It’s time to go back to Colorado. I fill my mouth with the cold beer and gulp it down in two swallows.

  Christian pulls me from my thoughts. “How much do you have to put toward a car?”

  “Five thousand, but I would really like to not have a monthly payment.” I drink the last of my beer and want another.

  “Write me a check. Your birthday’s coming, and I’ll kick in a little something to get you a decent ride.”

  “Christian, no.”

  “Gretchen, yes. When I lose my shirt on Wall Street, you can take me in. But for now, let me do this for you. Please?”

  I cuddle against him and let him hold me tight. His shirt smells like smoke and bacon, and it comforts me. “Thank you.”

  “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

  Nope, but seeing Derrick again will be.

  Chapter 26

  “Hey Ted, it’s great to hear from you.” Last night I got a message from Burton Snowboard’s marketing guy, Ted Swan. I’m returning his call to schedule a photo shoot for a new poster.

  “Gretchen, I’m sorry to hear about your dad, how’s it going?”

  While Ted has the polished appearance of an aging movie star, he’s sincere. “He’s doing really well, thanks for asking.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. I’m also happy you’re in Vermont. We need to get you into the studio for a shoot.”

  I brace myself for the latest marketing idea. I have to admit the last one was effective. Dressed in a skimpy bikini and snowboard boots, I held a board and stood in fake snow. The backdrop was an out-of-focus picture of little boys dressed to ride, standing on a log cabin porch. The caption on the final poster read, “If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.”

  Ted says, “Wait until you hear our idea. It’s transforming.” He chuckles and I wait for the bad pun sure to come. “The tag line is Defy Gravity. You start a jump completely dressed, and as you climb higher clothing melts off your body, morphing you into a goddess-like creature, reaching for the moon. With the board still attached.” He takes a deep breath. “You transform, get it?”

  I chuckle and he asks, “What do you think?”

  “I think you guys always find a way to get me naked.”

  “You won’t be the only one, we’re doing a male version too.” Ted’s voice holds a hint of excitement and it makes me wonder what he’s up to. My friend Kaleb would be fun, and his naked body would certainly entice female boarders.

  “Who’s the guy?”

  “Cooper.” I can practically see the gleam of Ted’s perfect teeth as he says this. My stomach clenches. Cooper and I had a thing when we filmed a snowboard movie last winter. Ted probably thinks we still do.

  “Okay, when do you need me?” Fudge, this could be awkward. My finger goes in my mouth, but I pull it out and clench my fist instead. I’ve really got to stop biting my nails, it’s ugly.

  “Tuesday, the fourth of November.”

  Two weeks. My mind starts planning my workouts, thinking I’m going to be baring all, and I’d better look good. “All right, Burton corporate again?”

  “You got it. Cooper’s flying in the night before, and we’ll put you both up for two nights.”

  I take a deep breath. “Okay, sounds good. See you then.”

  “Looking forward to it, Gretchen. You’re a pro, and we appreciate it.”

  “Thanks, bye.”

  I gaze longingly at my bagel. The garbage disposal grinds and clunks as I shove my breakfast down. None of my beloved carbs for the next two weeks. I need to get cut, and fast.

  While I try to maintain good physical condition, this past month has given me plenty of time to get in top shape. A crash diet to lose a little body fat, and I’ll be lean enough that the Photoshop guys can work their magic and make me a dream girl.

  I rev up a blender full of white powdered protein shake, and my thoughts turn to Cooper. Tall and muscular, he’s a good choice for the poster. He’s not as pumped up as Kaleb, but he’s got sexy tattoos, and an edgy, rock star look. A look that used to be my type. Until Derrick.

  I swallow a mouthful of cold chalkiness. A vision of Derrick in his tight tee and loose jeans floods my mind. Oh, yeah, my taste has definitely changed. His broad shoulders taper to slim hips, and his tight, round ass makes me lick my lips.

  The bitter taste of my shake reminds me Derrick isn’t mine to lust over. But the thought of Cooper doesn’t do it for me, especially since we left on my usual terms. He wanted a serious relationship, and it made me run. Funny, but the idea of a serious relationship doesn’t scare me anymore.

  Ugh. I hope he’s moved on because two days with him won’t be fun if he hasn’t. Especially if he’s going to hang around for my semi-nude shots. I gulp down the rest of my shake, and push my thoughts aside. I don’t have time for them right now, because it’s time to walk with the first man I ever loved, my dad. I head toward his study to find out if he’s ready.

  ***

  The drive to Burlington is serene. The fall color is gone, but Vermont is called the Green Mountain State for a reason. Rolling hills give way to small, typical New England towns that inspire photographers and painters.

  Driving my dad’s BMW is a pleasure, and I’m in a great mood when I arrive. We’re meeting at Ted’s office to go over specifics before he sends us off to the Sheraton.

  Wind whips my hair into my face as I walk toward the building. The odor of wood burning makes me long for snow, and I push my hands into the softness of my fleece pockets.

  The lobby I enter is black steel and natural wood with tile floors. A fire crackles beyond the wood sculpture known as Big Foot. I walk up to the desk and am greeted by a cheerful blonde I remember from the last time I was here.

  “Hi, Gretchen.”

  “Sadie, right?” Because she remembered me, I hope I do the same.

  “That’s right. Good memory. Most of the team is here, and they’re up in Ted’s office. Do you remember how to get there?”

  “I do, thanks.”

  I walk down a long hall that is eerily quiet. The thick carpet muffles my steps, and I enter a large room. Ted strolls over in his usual white Oxford shirt and jeans to greet me. “Gretchen. Come on in. Coffee?”

  “I’d love some. Thanks.” My stomach growls when I notice a tray of pastries and bagels. I give my belly a mental hug and tell it, One more day, and you’ll get all the carbs you crave.

  The ceramic mug Ted hands me is
warm and the scent is laced with pumpkin. I have to hand it to the Burton people. They have good coffee. I take a cautious sip.

  I wander over to the mock posters and see what the advertising people have envisioned. The concept is pretty neat, and I’m smiling when Xander sides up next to me.

  I ask, “You’re going to make me look that good, right?”

  “Sweetie, I’m magic with a mouse.” He winks at me and steps back to give me the once-over. “I won’t need to do much. You’re a lean, mean machine.”

  “Thanks.”

  He tweaks my naval ring. “They have a cute little snowflake for you to wear. A-dor-a-ble.”

  I snort. “Doesn’t look like that’s what they’re going for.”

  Xander raises his eyebrows at me. “I know, and that’s why I love this job.” He makes a show of scanning around the room. “Now where’s that scrumptious Cooper?”

  As if on cue, Cooper walks through the door. I watch as Ted greets him, and people begin to sit at the conference table. Sitting in a plush leather chair, I sink into the softness. Cooper sits next to me, and the odor of canned airplane air wafts by me.

  “Hey, Gretchen.” His eyes stay on my face, and I appreciate this polite version of Cooper. Not that I expected anything less. He appears wild, and for now he may be, but I know he’s an Ivy League graduate who’ll probably settle down one day.

  “Hi, Cooper. Nice to see you.”

  “You too.” His smile is sweet and sexy, and I recall how it used to work its charm.

  Ted raises his voice over the din of people’s conversation to begin the meeting. The lights dim, and he begins a PowerPoint presentation. Cooper leans close and whispers in my ear. “I’m glad we’re doing this together. I’ve missed getting naked with you.”

  Shitake mushrooms. I steal a sideways glance at him. It wasn’t that long ago I would have flirted right back and considered that an invitation. I know what we had was hot. Unfortunately, the only person I want to get naked with thinks I hate him.

  Chapter 27

  Sitting in snowboard pants and a tight zip neck, I’m waiting for makeup. Ice rattles as I shake my protein drink vigorously. One more morning of this and then I can get fat on bagels. The aroma of the Baked Bean drifts into my mind, and I almost salivate thinking about it.

  Hot breath tickles my ear. “I’ve seen that smile before, thinking about me?”

  I jerk away and put my hand on my heart. “Jes-um, you scared me.” I close my eyes for a moment to recover from Cooper’s words. “No, I was actually dreaming of a bagel, if you must know.” I smile and peel the lid off my shaker cup.

  Last night after our meeting I begged off having dinner with Cooper and Ted. Instead I had a simple salad at the bar of the Sheraton and went to bed early to be well rested for today.

  “I know what you mean. I’ve been cutting back for this, too, and I dream about pizza.” Cooper’s hand goes to his stomach and it growls in response as he falls into a directors’ chair.

  “Pizza. Oh that sounds amazing. Let’s do that for dinner when we’re done today.” I take a swig of blandness and pretend its tomato and cheese flavored.

  “Definitely, with ice cold beer.”

  I nod and gulp more of my shake. Cooper is dressed in the male version of what I have on. His tight shirt shows off how muscular he’s become, and it’s working well for him. Once we’re done in makeup, we’ll take turns posing on the fake half-pipe.

  In snowboarding a half pipe is like a round-shaped gutter. Only it’s snow-covered, and we ride our board back and forth along the inside. Like skateboarding, we fly up in the air and do tricks before landing again.

  A woman with bright green hair walks toward us. “I’m Monica, and I’ll be doing your makeup today.”

  Cooper introduces us and she asks, “Who’s first?”

  “Gretchen, you go. I should get something to eat before I pass out.” Cooper leaves us.

  Monica is good at her job, and it isn’t long before she’s done and Cooper has returned. I leave them and go find out if the photographer is ready. Metal clangs as people arrange the lights and check strobes.

  Because our poster image will appear like it’s launching from a half-pipe and flying toward the moon, once we get through the first session we’ll be using a trampoline to jump and pose midair as well as do a series of standing poses. Our clothes will slowly come off throughout the day until we end up naked.

  Well, sort of. Andrea, the stylist showed us the nude-colored coverings we get to wear for modesty. They won’t be leaving much to the imagination, but at least I won’t be flashing crotch shots.

  I shiver when I enter the cold room. Because Cooper and I will be wearing ski gear a good part of the morning, the producer is keeping it cool for us. Slipping into my parka carefully so I don’t ruin my makeup, I welcome its warmth.

  Xander waves me over to the fake snow structure. A stepladder is set up behind it, and he says, “Everything is set. You ready?”

  “I am.” My snowboard is already at the top, and I climb to it. I’m instructed to do a series of poses, and within minutes the hot lights make me sweat.

  I’m supposed to tell them when my face starts to get wet so I can get cooled down while Cooper has a turn. The moment I feel a trickle down the back of my neck, I call out. “Xander, honey? I’m moist.”

  This gets the laugh I was going for, and they pause for me to switch with Cooper.

  Our day progresses nicely, and while it’s exhausting, knowing the team is pleased with our work keeps us focused on getting the job done.

  When we break for lunch, Cooper and I are almost nude. I slip on a large button-down shirt, and my stomach muscles thank me for relaxing as I sit at the table to eat a salad.

  Meg, the photographer, bites into a roast beef sandwich that makes me want to tackle her and steal it. She says, “You guys are a dream to work with. I love athletes. They don’t complain.”

  Cooper answers, “Thanks. I can imagine your job is hard enough without us making it more difficult.”

  Xander waves a chip in the air and says, “We’re getting great stuff. I know it seems like a million pictures, but the more I have, the easier it will be to get what I want.”

  I feel the cranky of food deprivation set in, and grab a chip. Everyone will be glad I did, so I don’t even bother with guilt. “Xander, I have no doubt you’ll work your magic. This one seems tougher than most, though.”

  I savor the flavor of salt and oil. Tonight I’m going to eat pizza until I burst. Xander says, “Oh, it is. But when it’s done, it will knock the big boy’s socks off.”

  Cooper glances down at his sweat-pants-clad crotch. His nude covering looks a lot like a sock, and I snicker.

  Xander covers his mouth dramatically and winks at Cooper. “Let’s hope the trampoline doesn’t knock yours off.”

  Cooper flushes and I wonder how he likes being the object of unwanted flirting. Although he has been professional throughout the shoot, and it speaks volumes for the kind of guy he is. Funny how I never noticed before.

  Meg claps her hands. “Okay, people, time to get back to work.”

  Chairs scrape against concrete as we all scramble to prepare for the next session. I make a beeline for the bathroom to brush my teeth and pee. Not a modest person, I’m surprised at how my stomach rolls with nervousness about what’s coming. I’m not sure if it’s because of the number of people watching or Cooper.

  Cooper is already in the makeup chair when I return. Grateful he’ll be first at the new poses this afternoon, I relax. His hands tap out a beat on the arms of the chair.

  I place myself behind him in a way he can see my face without moving and ask, “Are you nervous?”

  “Yeah. I’m not used to being next to naked in front of a group of people.”

  “I hear you, but it’ll be over before we know it. Just keep your eye on the prize.” He tilts his head in question, and Monica clucks at him while I say, “Pizza and beer.”

&nbs
p; He smiles and gets a smack from Monica. “Hold still or I’ll make the next one hurt.” She glares at me, and I get the message. I sneak over to another chair to wait my turn.

  A couple hours later and I’m watching Cooper jump on a trampoline in just his flesh-colored thong. Springs squeak, and he appears focused. I imagine he’s thinking about the moves he needs to make and nothing else.

  I prepare myself mentally as if I’m in competition and strip down for my turn. Cooper will get a break and then do his stills.

  The tight nylon strips of the trampoline give as I walk to position, and my calves flex to keep my balance. I take a deep breath and start to bounce. I lift up and strike the pose I’ve done a hundred times today. Repeating it, I keep jumping until Meg calls out for me to stop.

  “Excellent work, Gretchen. Take a break, and then all you have left is the final set of stills.”

  The cotton of my oversized shirt is rough on my tired limbs. I’m beat, and so glad we’re almost done. I lean back in my chair and close my eyes. Drifting off in a daze, the murmur of Xander talking to Don, the producer, doesn’t register until his voice rises with excitement.

  “Oh, oh, oh, can we try something?” My eyes open to Xander sitting perched on the edge of his seat, and his hands moving as he speaks. “Don, imagine how beautiful it would be if they merge at the top?”

  What? They? As in Cooper and me?

  Don’s deep voice answers, “I like it. What do you need?”

  Xander says, “Just two more sets. A jumping session and a still session with them in a couple different positions.” He’s practically dancing in his chair while I process what this means.

  “Gretchen!” Meg calls me over for my stills, and I do my best to focus. But my mind is reeling with the idea of merging with Cooper.

  When I’m done, Xander can’t contain his excitement. “Kids, wait until you see what I have in mind.” He actually claps his hands. “This is so good.”

  Xander lets out a huff and composes himself. “You two are going to merge as you reach the moon.” He tips his head up at the sky. “Oh my God, I’m brilliant. Transgender is so vogue.”