Lacrimosa (Requiem Series)

by Fonseca, Christine

  “You know, Mr. Presley hates it when people fall asleep in class. You’re lucky he didn’t catch you.” Aydan pulls out the chair across from me and sits.

  “Yeah, well, it happens.” I can’t hide the anger in my voice. What the heck is wrong with me? Sentinals don’t sleep—especially when they’re on the job. “So, where’s your friend? The way you guys talk, I assumed you went everywhere together.”

  “He had someplace to be.”

  Good. Time to finish this before anything else can go wrong.

  “I guess it’s just you and me then.”

  The corners of Aydan’s mouth twitch. I stare too long, remembering the taste of his lips. Focus, Nesy. Focus. “So, what are you doing after school?” I ask.

  “Hanging out with you.”

  “Interesting. And what exactly are we doing?”

  “You asked me to walk you home.”

  “Funny, I don’t remember asking.”

  “Yeah, but you want to.”

  Yeah, something like that.

  I smile and take his hand in mine.

  We leave campus as the bell rings. Cars and people fill the streets around the school. Goth boy is nowhere. Neither is Lori. Finally, a chance to vanquish in peace.

  The bustle of the city makes it impossible to hear, so I step closer to Aydan.

  “So?” Aydan asks. “Where do you live?”

  I lean into him, painting a confused look on my face. I seem open, vulnerable. The perfect victim.

  “I said, where do you live?”

  “Oh! Chelsea. I usually take the train,” the lie flows easily from my mouth.

  He smiles, his eyes radiating hunger. “Sounds good. But, let’s not go there. Maybe the park. I know some out of the way places I think you’d like.”

  Out of the way places? Just what I had in mind.

  Aydan places his arm around my waist and steers me up the crowded streets. My body reacts too strongly to his touch. Inhale…Release…Inhale…Release…I continue the breathing mantra with every step. I refuse to mess up this time.

  The walk uptown is long, punctuated by the everpresent pulse of the city at the end of a day. Aydan’s hands never leave my body, as though he’s afraid to lose me. On the way to the park, we talk about school, music, his band. He’s easy to be around. And nothing like I expect. Not that I’d actually spent any time with the UnHoly. The thing is, I could like Aydan. A lot. If it wasn’t for the whole soul-sucking thing.

  I find myself wanting to hear about his life, the things that make him happy, the things that annoy him. Each moment draws me closer. He’s nothing like the monsters I’m trained to kill.

  Not even close.

  The park is unusually quiet by the time we arrive. Sunlight glistens off the nearby skyscrapers, casting pink and orange hues across the sky. We walk through the grassy hillsides, past the lake and reservoir. Parents play with young children, couples lock in tight embraces. I need to get Aydan alone.

  “I want to show you something.” He tightens his hold on my hand.

  The groups of people thin with each step. As does my commitment to my duty.

  “Here.” Aydan points to the bridge in front of us. “My favorite bridge in the city.”

  I look at the smooth architecture of the cast iron bridge, carved to look like Gothic windows in a cathedral. There is a delicate beauty and strength to the bridge, and I find myself again surprised by this UnHoly. “It’s beautiful,” I say. “Why is it your favorite?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve just always liked the way the iron curves at the base. It’s strong and delicate at the same time. I like the irony it represents.”

  Definitely not what I would expect from the UnHoly.

  The sun drops, casting shadows around us. Aydan slips his arm around my waist and leans into me. His lips brush mine.

  I know I should resist him, but I can’t.

  I don’t want to.

  The kiss deepens and I lose myself to him. My energy begins to drain as I feel my soul—my angelic soul—slip away. It feels strange, almost as though something, someone, is trying to…

  Kill me.

  The world stops and I push him away, remembering what he really is. Remembering my task.

  I turn away and finger my dagger.

  “My turn,” I say. “I want to show you my favorite place in the park.” I take his hand and lead him back towards the lake.

  “Which is?” he asks.

  “A surprise.”

  “Oh, I like a mystery.” He slips his arm around my waist and I struggle to keep my body from trembling.

  Long shadows change the landscape while dark creatures make their way toward us, cloaked in darkness. Their odd insect-like shapes bend the shadows further, while the putrid scent of their flesh wafts past me. I close my eyes to avoid registering their presence. No doubt the creatures expect me to be their next meal.

  I don’t think so.

  Pulling my emotions in tightly around me, I focus only on my job. I won’t get more than one chance to finish this. I’d better make it count.

  “What are you thinking about?” Aydan’s breath sends a chill across my skin.

  “Nothing.” Ignoring my body, I focus on the task at hand.

  I guide him to a large courtyard near the lake. Dusk settles around us, casting an inky hue over everything. In the distance, fluorescent lights flicker on the upper terrace of the courtyard. We sit on the bench overlooking a large fountain.

  “Here. My favorite place in the park.” I nod towards the sculpture sitting in the middle of the fountain—a peaceful angel that looks down upon cascading streams of water. She reminds me of Cass.

  “Hmm? The Angel of the Waters?” Aydan furrows his brow. “I’m surprised. I would’ve thought that angel too passive for you. You seem more the aggressive type. A warrior. Not something as…well, weak.”

  Does he know? It’s a reasonable question. I replay every encounter from the club to the kiss. I may have been a little reckless—okay the kiss was really reckless—but there’s no way he could’ve figured out the truth.

  “Can I ask you something?” He turns my head towards his.

  “Sure.” My lips tremble. Darn human body.

  “Why did you run off at the club?”

  “I didn’t run off,” I lie. “I had to leave.”

  “No, you ran off. I’m just curious why.”

  “It was nothing. I just had to go.”

  “Because it almost seemed like you were—”

  “I was what?”

  “Scared.” A seductive smile forms on his mouth.

  “Of what? You?” I reach behind my back for the dagger. I need to time this just right.

  “Yeah.”

  I collapse any space between us, and catch him off guard. Our lips are barely apart, my fingers wrapped firmly around my knife. “And what do you think now?” I can feel him shudder. Feel his heart pound against mine. “Am I still afraid?”

  “Terrified.” He draws a deep breath, parts his lips and kisses me.

  It deepens, again pulling on my soul. I don’t resist. Not yet.

  I raise my dagger level with his heart, mentally speaking the words I need to cast him out. He tastes my soul as I cling to my humanity and—

  “Hey, Aydan.”

  The unexpected voice pulls me back. I stow the dagger in my jeans, fear tightening every muscle. Taking a labored step backwards, I feel my face flush.

  Aydan stares at me, a pained expression in his eyes. “Hey,” he says, his breath coming in ragged spurts. “What’s up?”

  Two familiar figures walk through the shadows. Aydan’s band mates. “Just hanging out,” the weak, not-so-human guitarist says.

  “We didn't mean to interrupt anything.” Aydan’s friend from school looks curiously at me, a smile spreading across his face.

  I study him closely as a sense of dread laces through my senses. Just like earlier. Goth boy’s black hair hangs in a ponytail down his back. He has a stro
ng jaw and chiseled features most girls would find attractive. He wears a t-shirt that reveals something I hadn’t noticed before, a series of Celtic tattoos covering his neck and jaw, eventually disappearing under the confines of his shirt.

  The marks of the Beast.

  He takes a step toward me, extending his hand. “I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure.” His voice is as cool as ice. And just as unyielding. “I’m Azza.”

  My heart pounds against my ribs as the adrenaline rushes through me. Our gaze meets and I understand everything. Black with no hint of pupils. The eyes of unspeakable evil.

  The Dark One himself.

  Azzaziel.

  How did I not notice him before now? What’s wrong with me?

  I step out of his reach. I can’t let him touch me, see me. Not here, alone, with a mob of dark creatures ready to feast on me.

  Azryel’s Wings, how did I ever let this happen?

  “Nice to meet you,” I say, taking another step away from him. I look at Aydan and stow every emotion. His eyes dart from Azza to me and back. His expression is hard, angry.

  And desperate.

  “I should go,” I say to Aydan as I back away, eying both Azza and his friends.

  “Don't leave on our account.” Azza slithers closer. “I’m sure we could get some others to join us and make a party of it.”

  The air stands still around me, stopping time. One…two…three seconds pass before the words will form. “No, really, it’s okay,” I finally say, stepping into the shadows. “I’m already late. My mother will be worrying about me.” I continue to back away, keenly aware of Azza’s stare. His thoughts reach out to mine. I shield my identity, making sure he senses nothing more than the scared musings of a normal human girl.

  Leave her alone, I hear Aydan say to his master. She’s mine. His words chill me to the bone.

  Azza’s laughter fills the air as I finally reach the stone stairwell that leads to the upper terrace and duck into the darkness, cursing my mistakes.

  Again.

  Why couldn’t I just vanquish that UnHoly already? If I had just finished my task, Aydan would be in the Abyss.

  And Azza’s whereabouts would be…

  A mystery.

  My mind slows. Azzaziel. The Dark One himself. Hanging out in high school. Why? It doesn’t make any sense.

  My heart continues to pound too fast in my chest. I’ve never let myself get this close to blowing it this big. I should have felt Azzaziel’s presence, should have sensed him coming. Mikayel will never accept these mistakes. Unless…

  Maybe if I can figure out why Azzaziel is here, what he’s up to, maybe then Mikayel will ignore my little failings.

  Who am I kidding? Mikayel won’t let any of this pass. None of the Council will.

  Nor should they.

  Chapter 9 - Succumb

  Aydan

  I never intended to serve Azza. No one ever does. But it sure beats burning in the eternal flames of the Abyss.

  At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

  Truthfully, most days I obsess about killing my master. I used to think being his apprentice, binding myself to him and learning the secrets of the Dark Ones, would give me the strength I needed to end his reign.

  Not any more.

  Now I know the truth, becoming the Beast will only tie me to him for an eternity. None will be able to kill me. Any honor will be forever gone. And I will be nothing more than a slave to my master…

  Forever.

  “Why are you here, Azza? I almost had her.” My voice bounces off the stone walls surrounding the courtyard.

  “No, young apprentice, she almost had you.” The disdain in his voice is palpable.

  I’ve disappointed him. Again.

  An unintended growl escapes my throat. “You don’t think I can handle her?”

  “I don’t trust her. She’s more than she appears. Much more.”

  “Since when is a human too difficult for me to handle?”

  “Since you wanted one for more than just a meal.” Azza’s words slice into my heart. “Am I wrong?” he asks.

  I stiffen with anger as I consider his words. My shoulders slump with the weight of my truth; I do want her for more than a meal.

  So much more.

  I bite back the feelings I’ve never wanted, clinging to my familiar anger. Balling my hands into fists, I drink in my anguish, letting it calm the Beast. “You are not.”

  “Then you must stay away from her for now.” Azza glares at me, a primordial show of force.

  “No,” I say before I can think. So much for control. “I will have her.” I’ve always been too impulsive. Especially when I’m angry. “All of her.”

  And I’m more than angry tonight.

  My rage engulfs the space, exploding into an inferno I can’t contain. I don’t want to contain.

  Centuries of doing his bidding.

  Meeting his needs.

  Fighting his battles.

  It’s time I took care of me. And right now, Nesy would fill my needs.

  Memories I can’t shake spin me into a fury. Pictures of Elle, of her death. I feel it like it just happened. Centuries of purging these feelings gone. And all because of this girl.

  Nesy.

  My world slips away and I again taste vengeance on my tongue. I do want Nesy for more than a meal. I need her soul to erase these feelings—I need her to pay for waking them in the first place.

  I clench my jaw, stifling the rage I feel for her. For the life I regret. For everything Azza has turned me into. Releasing a low growl, I storm off, walking toward the stone staircase that leads to the upper terrace overlooking the fountain—her fountain. Nesy’s face follows me, burned into each stone. She whispers to me. Taunts me. Each step brings me closer to my undoing. But still I push on, desperate to outrun the she-devil.

  I feel a light brush against my skin as I start up the stairs. I spin around and stare into the face of my master. A primal scream, my scream, splits the silence.

  I can’t be contained. My human forms drops to the ground in a heap. Black bat-like wings unfurl to their full span. My body, nothing more than muscle and flesh stretched too-thin over bone, rises to its full stature. My eyes are the only part of my humanity to remain.

  The Beast is awake.

  Another howl pierces the night air. “Yield to me!” Azza bellows.

  He towers over me, black wings and claws that match my own extended, gnashing the space between us with his sharp fangs. He expects submission. Demands it.

  My fury blinds me—anger, shame and memories too difficult to forget. I ram my shoulder into my master, ripping my claws through his skin.

  “Yield, Disciple. Now!” Azza growls. He wraps his spindly talons around my throat and squeezes.

  My strength fails as I gasp for air. Too much grief. Too much shame. I’m weaker than I should be. Weaker than I’ve ever been. Why?

  I tighten my neck against his grip. My muscles tremble, and still I refuse to submit.

  A feral snarl escapes his lips. A reminder.

  I cannot win.

  “You must feed.” Azza releases his hold, sending me to the ground. “After which, I expect you to make amends to me.”

  Never a good thing.

  I remember the last time I was forced to make a deal with Azza. That choice cost me my life. What will he expect from me this time?

  My soul?

  Worse?

  “Now, go. Feed. Tomorrow we will deal with your feelings for this girl. If that is what she truly is.”

  I watch as Azza and the dark creatures fade into shadow. Slipping back into my discarded body I walk home, defeated.

  And hungry.

  Chapter 10 - Remembrance

  Aydan

  I jam the key into the lock of my apartment, unable to think of anything but Elle. My home, nothing more than a studio, feels even smaller tonight. The walls close in as my mind continues to spin. Every feeling I’d abandoned, every moment I
’d locked deep inside has been released by Nesy. But why? How?

  If she's even human at all…don’t trust her…she almost had you…

  Azza’s voice bellows through me, silencing my own tortured musings. Not human. I never considered that possibility. Nesy’s image fills my thoughts. The smell of her hair, so like Elle’s. The curve of her waist. The life in her eyes. Nothing about her is off. She is human. Completely human.

  Which means she can’t be Elle.

  Elle’s dead.

  I cast aside my thoughts and focus on my anger. Nesy has awakened more than just my memories of Elle. She’s rekindled my hatred for Azza. I’ve committed too many heinous acts at his bidding. Paid too high a price for one choice made so long ago. Each thought stirs the Beast inside, a reminder that I will never escape my fate. Never escape my choices.

  I plop on my couch-bed, weak from hunger and guilt. My entire body aches for the one thing it can never feel again—the feel of Elle’s touch on my skin.

  The Beast screams for food. I know I won’t be able to stave off the hunger much longer. But I can’t continue this charade either. I hate everything I am, everything I’ll soon become.