by Lara Wynter
“Finn! What the heck are you smiling like that for? This guy is the worst drummer since Lars.”
I turn to Wes, surprised to see him glaring at me. “What?”
“I asked you why you looked so happy when my eardrums are bleeding.”
“Oh ah, sorry.” I hold up a hand and the room goes blessedly silent. “Thanks…ah,” I glance down at the sheet of paper on the table in front of me, “Tim. We’ll be in touch.”
Tim nods and exits the room through a side door. The next drummer auditioning for the band sits down behind the kit and after making a few adjustments, launches straight into one of our songs. I like the fact that he got straight to it. All morning I’ve been forced to listen to a bunch of bigheaded musicians tell me how fantastic they are.
Last week we found out that both Adam and Drew had joined other bands. Truth be told, I won’t miss either of them, especially now that Soph and Autumn are going to be coming on the road with us. We’d missed out on some prime replacement possibilities once they’d seen the behavior clause Wes has put in the current contract. He’s taking no chances with Sophie around. Somehow he even managed to convince the label to vet the meet and greet fans through their social media accounts too. It’s not much, but it might weed out the real crazies.
“What do you think, Finn?”
“Yeah, he’s good. At least as good as Adam.”
“And he’s married.”
“Who to? Will she expect to come on the road with us?”
“Um,” Wes flicks through his notes, “married to Jade. Looks like she’s a teacher, so I’m guessing not unless it’s summer break.”
“He’s definitely the front-runner then.” At least I won’t have to worry about him around Autumn, unless he’s a total douche.
“Actually, he’s the last, so why don’t we see what he’s really like?”
“Sure.” I signal for him to stop and he does so immediately his sticks spinning in his fingers. “That was great Zane. Have you got time for a quick chat?”
He stands up from behind the kit and walks over. Wes and I stand up to shake hands across the table. His grip is firm, but not crushing like he’s trying to impress me with how macho he is. He takes a seat opposite us and I let Wes take the lead.
“So Zane, why did you leave Before Daybreak? I mean we’ve heard the rumors, but we all know rumors are usually lies masking half-truths at best.”
Zane runs his hand through his ginger hair but doesn’t look away. “Well, the rumors were kinda true, Brodie did try and seduce Jade and I decked him. But no, he wasn’t successful, and no, Jade is not pregnant with his kid.”
“So you and Jade are rock solid, yeah?” I ask.
“Yeah, man, we’re good.”
“Will she be coming on tour?” I ask bluntly.
“Na, not this time anyway. She has school, she trusts me on the road without her. And she was totally in favor of that behavior clause. If she wasn’t already an Infusion Deep fan, she is now.” Zane grins, flashing a set of perfect teeth.
Wes smiles briefly. “What do you think about kids?”
“Uh, they’re fine I guess. Don’t really have much to do with them to be honest. Jade loves them, of course.”
“So you’d be fine with my twelve-year-old sister coming on tour with us?”
Zane grins. “Ah, it all makes sense now. I thought maybe you guys just wanted to clean up your image.”
I grimace, thinking back a few years to some of the stunts we’d pulled. I’d definitely given the paparazzi plenty of ammunition in the past. But that was in another life, one that happened before I’d learned to hate who I’d become and the things I’d done. I force myself back to the conversation.
“…Sophie is my main focus now, if you can handle that you’re in.”
“Excellent!” Zane grins. “When do rehearsals start?”
I push my hair back out of my eyes, looks like I missed more than I thought. Still, I agreed to give Wes the final say on the new band members. There’s no way I can do this without him and he always puts Sophie first. I know he’d leave in a heartbeat if he wasn’t sure she’d be alright; as much as he loves the music.
“Tomorrow at 10 a.m. Do you know all the old stuff?”
“Sure, it won’t be a problem.”
Wes reaches down into his bag and pulls out one of our demo CDs of the new songs we recorded last week. “Have a listen to these tonight and let us know what you think of the new stuff.”
Zane looks like a kid who just got handed a bag of candy. “My wife is going to go crazy. She loves your music! This ought to put her in a good mood!”
I put my hand up in protest. “Okay man. Just don’t let her play it to any of her friends yeah?”
“Nah, she knows the deal. I look forward to working with you boys.” Zane jumps up from the chair and leans over the desk to shake our hands again before walking out, drumming a beat on his thighs.
“You think he’ll be alright?” Wes raises one eyebrow.
“Yeah, you did good, man. Sorry about spacing out there.”
“Don’t stress about it. Let’s grab some lunch before we have to do the interviews Drew’s replacement.”
The afternoon session turns out to be less cut-and-dry than picking a drummer. There are several excellent bass players, and the best ones will be returning shortly. Wes has gone to collect Soph from school and hopefully having her here will help weed out any undesirables. My mood lifts as I hear her chatty bubbly voice before they enter the room.
“Uncle Finn!” Sophie screams as she hurtles into my arms, as if I didn’t see her only two days ago.
“Hey Soph, how was school?”
“Ah you know, kids are so immature.”
I raise my eyebrows one at a time, causing her to giggle. “Lucky you’re with the mature adults now.”
Her smile fades. “They’re just jealous, I know they are.”
“Jealous about what?”
Sophie puts one hand on her hip and juts it out. “Jealous that I get to go on tour with a rock band, while they have to go to sucky old school.”
“What about Anna?”
“Anna is a turd-face.”
I laugh, I can’t help myself. “You’d better not let Wes hear you talking like that if you want to come on tour with us.”
Sophie scowls. “Oh come on, turd-face is not a rude word. I bet they say that on Sesame Street even.”
“Well maybe just Oscar…”
Sophie laughs. “Yeah, well I don’t need them anyway.”
“Well, friends are important, you don’t want to get rid of them too quickly. Especially if they’re jealous. I’m sure Anna will come around, she’s probably going to miss you when you’re gone. People sometimes do crazy things when they’re hurt or upset.”
“Maybe…Anyway, I have a friend, I have Autumn.”
Just hearing her name makes my breath catch. Luckily Wes distracts Sophie from noticing my reaction by coming back into the room with Lucas, one of the better candidates. I stand up and head onto the stage to get my guitar. We’ve decided to jam with the last four bass players to help us decide. I sling Jude over my shoulder and give her a quick tune.
“Hey, Finn, thanks for this opportunity, man.”
“Hey, Luc, just play as well as I know you can and convince us we need you.”
Lucas pulls out a hot looking Ibanez 5-string.
“Nice.”
“Yeah thanks, it’s my go-to bass at the moment.”
Wes sits behind the keyboard and looks up. “What do you want to start with?”
“Hey, Soph, what should we play?”
Sophie smiles from her chair. “Play Bruise Easily, I haven’t heard that for ages.”
“That alright with you Lucas?”
“Sure, I think I remember that one.”
We play through the song and Lucas does pretty well. After a few more songs we stop and Wes comes over.
“Not bad Lucas, what did you think? Still i
nterested?”
“Yeah, definitely. How soon till the next tour?”
“We’ve got a month long tour starting in two weeks. Just some smaller shows where we’ll be testing some of the new material.”
“Sweet.”
“One last thing, how do you feel about my little sister coming on tour with us?” Wes nods in Sophie’s direction, she has her homework spread out on the table oblivious to our conversation.
“No problem, she looks like she’ll be a real hottie in a couple of years.”
Wes and I move at the same moment. I grab Lucas by the front of his shirt and shove him backwards out the door. Wes shoves his guitar case out after him.
He straightens his shirt and glares at us. “You guys are crazy, man. If you don’t like what I said, do yourselves a favor and leave the mini-hottie at home.”
Somehow I manage to keep my voice even. “Just leave now if you know what’s good for you.”
Wes’s hands are balled into fists and I place a hand on his shoulder. His face is red and I can tell he’s this close to pounding the crap out of the douchebag.
Lucas snatches up his case and turns to the three shocked bass players waiting in the hall. “Unless you want to work with crazy, I’d leave now.”
I put my arms around Wes as he starts to follow Lucas out the door. I’ve rarely seen Wes lose control like this and I push my own feelings aside to stop him doing something he’ll regret. A lawsuit is the last thing we need. For Soph and Autumn, I resist my desire to slam my fist into the smug prick’s face.
Finally the tension leaves Wes’s body and I release him. I’m glad this all happened out in the hallway and Sophie missed the whole thing. The last thing she needs at this point is to be exposed to this kind of drama. I turn towards the remaining three musicians. Bill and David are standing.
Bill looks at us. “I knew your rep, but I thought it was exaggerated. Sorry guys but I left my last band because of all the drama.” He picks up his case and leaves through the door.
“Well I’m not one to judge without all the facts.” David shrugs. “What happened in there?”
I glare at David and Ryan, who hasn’t moved from his seat. “Apparently he thought Wes’s twelve-year-old sister would be dating potential in a couple of years.”
Ryan puts up his hands. “Hey, I have a thirteen year old sister. No way am I going there.”
“I don’t do underage,” David says shaking his head. “What a bonehead.”
“Alright then,” I say seeing as Wes seems incapable of communicating at the moment, “why don’t you both come in and we’ll play a few songs.”
Sophie looks up as we come in. I smile and give her the thumbs up. She grimaces at me like she can’t believe what a dork I am. Wes sees the whole thing and almost smiles, so it’s totally worth it.
We play through our opening few songs, not in the mood for anything more, and both guys do well enough to join the band. Looks like it will come down to personality, which isn’t a bad thing. After being stuck on the road with Drew and Adam, I’m in no rush to commit to being with someone 24-7 I don’t know anything about.
“Have you both got time to stick around for a bit?” I ask.
Ryan puts his guitar back in its case. “Sure thing.”
David nods and I lead them over to where Sophie is sitting. She’s finished her homework so she can help us decide. After what happened earlier, we can’t be too careful.
Wes takes the seat next to Sophie and glares at the guys as he chugs down a bottle of water. At this rate we’ll be lucky if they both don’t run.
Once we’re all seated Sophie smiles and I can feel an interrogation coming.
“So David,” she smiles, flicking her long brown hair over her shoulder, “what makes you think you would be a good fit for the band?”
He looks a bit put off by the fact we’re letting Sophie ask the questions but I just shrug and Wes continues to glare. “Well…I’ve been in some pretty kick-ass bands and Infusion Deep is the next logical step in my career–”
Sophie holds up her hand to stop him talking. “My brother doesn’t think I’m old enough to be around foul language. Is that going to be a problem for you?”
David’s mouth drops open and Ryan laughs. He keeps laughing until tears run down his face and he’s holding his side.
“You would make a great tour manager Sophie,” Ryan says still grinning.
“So you agree to the no swearing in my presence thing then Ryan?” Sophie smiles sweetly.
“Yes ma’am.”
“How about groupies? Will you be corrupting my moral values by parading a lot of skanky groupies past my young impressionable eyes?”
I can tell Ryan is trying hard not to laugh. “I have a girlfriend ma’am. Definitely not interested in any skanky groupies. Your innocence will remain intact on my watch.”
Sophie looks at David. “David?”
“Uh, yeah, sure I suppose I can do the swear thing.”
“And the girls?”
“Ah, you’re not…ah…expecting me to remain…celibate the whole tour are you?” He looks at me and then Wes.
I make my face as serious as I can. “Is that going to be a problem for you David?”
“Uh, yeah, I think we both know Ryan is more your brand of crazy than I am. Tell me if I’m reading it wrong?”
Wes finally speaks. “No, I think you finally have the right idea David.”
Chapter 19
Autumn
My suitcase lies open on the bed. The usually spotless room is a mess, clothes cover the bed and hang on every available chair and door handle. At least the floor is still free of clutter, I haven’t gone that crazy yet. What would a normal girl take on tour with the hottest rock band in the country? My gaze slides to the assortment of barely-there dresses and tops still hanging in my closet. Dr. Mary wants me to dress for me, not to hide who I am in my baggy shapeless garments or to pretend to be someone I’m not in my skintight skimpy clothes. When was the last time I thought about what clothing actually feels like me? I’m pretty comfortable now in the jeans and blue top I bought, but I can’t wear that every day.
Since I’ve left it too late to shop online, I’ll have to go back to the mall. My flight leaves tomorrow and after that I’ll be on the tour bus with the band and Sophie. There’s no way I could even think about doing this if Sophie wasn’t going to be there. I can focus on my job, and Sophie always makes me laugh. She has a confidence I could never have and I’ll do anything I can to protect her. Even Dr. Mary has approved of the plan as long as I keep up my regular sessions. Which shouldn’t be a problem during all the down time while the band has sound check and interviews.
I tell myself I can do this as I grab my car keys and lock the door of my tiny house. My old car hums quietly as I drive. I can do this. I can do this. As I enter the underground carpark, I’m grateful it’s a quiet midweek morning and not many people are here. This time, I’ve done my research online and I know which shops I want to visit. The doors swish open and I take a deep breath. A few shoppers walk down the over-bright walkways, none look my way. Soft music is playing and it helps me focus. Music is good like that, it gives me something to concentrate on to soothe the jumbled thoughts that try to compete for my attention.
Mimicking the slow walk of the other morning shoppers I find the first store on my list. The sales girl is with someone, which gives me the chance to find what I’m looking for unmolested. I grab a few casual shirts and another pair of jeans. I’m about to head to the sales counter when I see a cute sundress. Dusky blue in color with a square neckline and straps that cross over at the back, it looks like something a girl my age should be wearing. Would I be able to wear something so revealing? Would I feel too exposed? Dr. Mary would tell me to buy the dress and keep it until I feel comfortable enough in my own skin to actually put it on. I grab it and add it to the pile even though I may never actually wear it.
The girl comes over and scans my purchases with
out paying me much attention. These are the ones I like the best, other people would probably consider the girl rude, but I’m grateful she doesn’t ask me anything. I leave the store knowing my next stop will be harder. I need some shoes and I know I’ll need to try them on.
The shoe store is quiet and an eager sales girl rushes straight over to me as I enter the store.
“Good morning! How can I help you today?” She practically bubbles over with her enthusiasm and I almost turn and leave the store. Closing my eyes I take a deep slow breath not caring what she thinks for once. The thought of not getting this done and missing the tour is enough to make me reply.
“I need some comfortable walking shoes.”
“Hiking or everyday wear?”
“Everyday please.”
“Oh I know just the thing. Comfortable enough to wear all day and still really cute.” She actually giggles as she leads me to the fitting area. “What size are you?”
“Seven.” I look at her name badge, Candy, seriously? Would she have turned out like this if her name was Martha or Gertrude?
Candy brings back a pair of dark blue sneaker type Mary Janes. I slip them on, ignoring Candy’s offers of help. They practically mold to my feet and I feel like I could wear them all day and night.
“They look so cute on you. Are they alright for size?” Candy brushes a stray lock of blonde hair off her face, waiting expectantly.
“They’re great, thanks for the suggestion. Do they come in any other colors?”
Candy flashes me a brilliant smile as if I’ve just made her day. “They come in black, dove and caramel.”
“I’ll take a pair in black and dove then.”